Pink Magnificent

May 16th, 2009

Pink Magnificent Dildo

Pink Magnificent Dildo

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

There are days when everything seems to go right. Or so I hear.  I cannot specifically recall having one. However,  I do recall a specific masturbation session which went very well. There I was, with a pink glass dildo and some Wet Naturals lube. I wasn’t thinking about the dildo’s propensity to hold heat or the lack thereof (although it is a very nice feature of glass) as it warmed to my body temperature. I had better things to think about than the fact that I could sterilize it, if I wanted, by boiling it or popping it in the dishwasher (top shelf, no soap). No, I was focused on the feeling of the swirled shaft sliding in and out of my body, the smooth, engorged head probing deep inside (with a 3 3/4 ” girth at the shaft, this dildo isn’t like a meaty cock, but the texture more than makes up for it).

My mind wasn’t visualizing the snake-like appearance of the shaft (you can see the swirling on the opposite side of the dildo, which makes it seem crisscrossed, like scales).  Perhaps the magnificent appearance is where its name comes from (the Pink Magnificent). I was relieved because the last swirled dildo I had used was actually a little uncomfortable, but the tightly wrapped, spiral texture extends the full length (7.5″, 7″ of which are insertable) of this glass dildo. While I could easily feel the texture, the swirls were neither so high nor wide that they caused discomfort.

What I felt, instead, was increasing pleasure. I soon recognized my body’s own response to a toy that is not only well made but well shaped; the lube was no longer the reason I was wet and growing wetter by the moment. Even realizing this caused me greater satisfaction. It’s not every day that internal stimulation alone does so much for me. In fact, sex does not consistently produce such a result, so that a dildo could do so on its first try was impressive. Perhaps this is why it’s called the Pink Magnificent.

During all of this, I didn’t consider how the flat base of this dildo made it anal-safe (although I might have thought it made a good handle). After all, I was enjoying it vaginally. I wasn’t considering the affordability (Don Wand’s glass toys cost just a fraction of the price of Pyrex glass dildos) or the thought that went into the toy (Don Wands provides a bulky, pillow bag for storage and protection as well as samples of Wet lube with their products) or its non-porous nature (good for folks like me who only like to wash up with soap and water).  I simply enjoyed the feeling of a glass dildo, larger than the rest of my collection, gracing my sex.

As arousal grew, I knew I would have to switch tactics. I would have to focus on clitoral stimulation in order to cum. The dildo slid easily from between my lips and was soon rubbing smoothly over my vulva, against my clit. Applying pressure, which is easy to do with such a hefty tool, soon brought forth an orgasm or two (maybe more, who’s counting?).

As sex faded from my mind, I was able to easily wash the Pink Magifnicent with soap and water, then let it dry before slipping it back into its storage pouch. I did take the time to consider how much easier it is to dry glass without having to worry about the smooth material picking up lint; it’s also why using glass requires little to no lube (however, I would always use a little lube with this dildo but I can choose silicone or water-based to suit my mood).

I put the Pink Magnificent aside for a few days until I could return to it in a rational, not enamored, state of mind. Currently, I have a few thoughts (almost all positive). The Pink Magnificent is a sturdy, well-made dildo, the color and texture of which give it a beautiful exterior. It feels unique and satisfying internally, and the round, tapered head works well for clitoral play. Vaginal or anal play are both ideal, and because it can be sterilized, this glass dildo is safe for both. 

Frequent soap-and-water cleaning will more than suffice if you don’t plan to share it between holes or partners. However, I noticed that creases between the swirls on this toy are a  little more difficult to clean than other glass dildos I own. I would advise cleaning with a small brush or perhaps just a Q-tip to make sure the crevices are cleaned. Although I thought I had cleaned thoroughly with just my hands, I noticed the dildo retained some dirt and will have to keep this in mind for the future.

Nevertheless, Don Wands has produced a dildo that performs very admirably with their Pink Magnificent. Form and function are both tops here, and the price is very reasonable.

18 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Kama diva Small Bubble Plug

March 9th, 2009

Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug

While you can only buy the Kama diva Small Bubble Plug on Amazon because it’s no longer made, you might try the Tantus Perfect Plug or Fun Factory B-balls if you want a toy with a similar bulbous shape.

The Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug is a cute little anal plug, and its small size (Kama Diva offers larger plugs in the same line as well) was appealing. I thought I could take something larger than my first plug, but I didn’t want to go too large. The swirled pink and white are very feminine and pretty, while the hard, urethane material of this plug provides little resistance upon insertion. With its tapered head, which flares out to a rounded “bubble” and wide base, I thought this would provide interesting sensations without having to worry about it going where I didn’t want it.

Don Wands provides a fluffy, pillow sac with the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug so that’s just one less thing to worry about. Should I accidentally drop this toy it will be safe, as long as it’s in its sack. I’m not exactly sure what would happen if I dropped this as my understanding of urethane is a little weak. I know it’s similar to hard plastic and almost looks like opaque glass. In fact, I thought it was glass at first. The urethane also had a slight scent when I first opened the toy. It was rather unpleasant but quickly washed away. I don’t know if this toy can be sterilized with an alcohol solution but I’ve cleaned it with soap and water and it can easily be dried without worry of the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug picking up lint.

Although this is not a huge plug, the rigid material may make it feel larger than anal plugs made of more giving materials like silicone or jelly. It measures at a length of 4 1/4″, 4″ of which are insertable and at its widest point, the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug has a 4″ circumference. The base is also listed as “oversized.”

Unfortunately, so is my ass. LOL And this is where the issue came in. I was able to easily insert the first tapered part of this anal plug easily. In fact, I probably used a little too much lube and it became too slippery and hard to work with. I used the sample packet of Wet Platinum that came with the plug and was disappointed at how thin it was. I also felt a bit of discomfort, which I think is from the lube itself (I’ve had issues with Wet’s Platinum Silicone-based lube in the past). I would recommend any thicker water or silicone-based lube over Wet Platinum.

I rinsed off the Kama Dive Small Bubble Plug and tried again with just lube on myself and insertion went better. However, I ran into problems because both the large base and my butt were trying to take up the same room, and I wasn’t able to insert the plug fully. Inserted just to the first indentation, this plug kept slipping out and it seemed like there was just no way for me to use it.

Unfortunately, I was just never able to get to the point where I could start playing with other toys, insertable or otherwise, and I can’t really judge how comfortable this would be. Judging from its material, I wouldn’t wear it for long amounts of time like you can with some silicone or jelly plugs because it’s not giving in the least.

Nevertheless, I think this is a decent plug. I think it’s just not the plug for me, given my specific anatomy (AKA well-endowed back end LOL). I think if the Kama Diva Small Bubble Plug had a much longer neck and/or a smaller base, I would have been able to use it fine. Although I can’t say for sure, I think the Kama Diva Teardrop Plug might have been a better choice because it has only one “bubble” and the neck seems longer. Sadly for me, both plugs I have tried have been a little uncomfortable or difficult to use because of the base so my anal play might have to venture in the direction of probes or beads in the future.

5 Comments

Categories: Anal Toys, Reviews

Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe

March 1st, 2009

Tera Patrick's Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I guess I’m a size queen and this is a good thing because Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe is a large toy. It is definitely not for the weak at heart. Yet, even despite its monster size, I found myself wanting more: more power, more size, more quality.

Even before I had removed this toy from the package (which features, of course, Tera Patrick herself), I noticed the size. At 9″ long and with a circumference of 4 3/4″, it certainly rivals the larger of my toys. I also noticed that the vibrator wasn’t quite as pretty as it appeared in images. In pictures, it definitely shines more. The images across the web also differ in lightness, so it must be a hard colour to photograph; I found that the images of Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe on PinkCherry.com are a bit lighter than the toy actually is.

Once out of the package, I was immediately accosted by the strong scent of the Meta-Jelly material. It wasn’t rubbery in the slightest; rather, it smelled a bit metallic and sickeningly sweet – like Dr Pepper in a can. I know it’s a strange description, but it was a strange smell. And strong! I had it out for a bit, but the toy stunk up the whole living room, and the smell clung to my hands. Because of this, I put it away for several weeks before breaking it out again.

I was really reluctant to use a toy that smelled so horribly and I wondered how inferior this material must be. I usually do not care about the material of my sex toys a whole lot but it was impossible to ignore that this isn’t a super hygienic material. Meta-Jell is some derivative of jelly (thus porous – using a condom between partners is a must and not a bad idea in general) and a mixture of some sort of metal which gives it a slightly metallic appearance. It’s still soft like jelly and the tip of this toy has some flex to it (the jelly sleeve extends past the hard vibrator).

I finally broke this toy out, gave it 3 or 4 washings, and let it air for several days before using it. My entire bathroom smelled like Meta-Jelly for those days, albeit the scent did decrease (even if it was painstakingly slow in its decrease). But I was determined to give Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe at least one try so that I could give it a fair review. Although I am usually picky, I know many people would not have even given it that much time.

I was a bit anxious because I’d read a review that said this toy was simply too large. However, with a little lube, I found insertion wasn’t a big deal. Although this vibe is finished with an engorged head, the head is a bit tapered. I easily felt the raised, asymmetrical heart shapes internally, which is unusual. I usually cannot feel textures as well as I would like, so this was a nice change from the usual. However, I would not recommend fast or hard thrusting because it quickly becomes uncomfortable, even painful. Slow, luxurious thrusts are what I enjoyed best with Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe.

As I thrust this toy, I could not believe how much I enjoyed it! I could feel my body responding. In fact, I was wishing for something a little larger. Although full, I craved to be stretched, and Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe wasn’t large enough in that respect. However, I think most will be more than happy with the size of this vibrator and some will likely find it much too daunting, too.

When it came to the vibrations, I turned this up to high (this vibe has a typical dial base) and was still disappointed. I was looking forward to something that would provide more sensations than I got. I think the MetaJelly did a decent job of transmitting the vibrations, but the motor, which is powered by 2 AAs and likes to turn on/off when inserting the batteries, just didn’t have enough power for me. I found myself super turned on, but this vibe was not going to send me over the edge, so I swapped it out for my Passion Wave stimulator to get the orgasms I craved.

Altogether, I think Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe has helped me learn what I like but I will look for something which is similar yet higher quality. I definitely want a stronger vibrator made of a material (like silicone) which does not have such an offensive scent and, depending on texture, I could go bigger. For other size queens, this vibrator might just do the trick but I’m holding out for something just a little bit more.

21 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Swingin’ Pendulum

February 19th, 2009

Swingin' Pendulum
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When I picked out the Swinging Pendulum I was interested in triple stimulation. I’d just tried my first anal plug with a fair measure of success, and the “anal tingler” of this toy, paired with a thumb-like g-spot insertion and nubbed clitoral stimulator, seemed like a pretty package all wrapped up in pink. Unfortunately, there’s nothing swinging about this toy.

The Swingin’ Pendulum is little and cute – I would almost call it dinky. Made of hard plastic, the exterior of which is specially treated to result in a velvety texture (known as rubber/velvet cote), I liked how the Pendulum feels in my hand. Rubbercote can also be wiped down with an alcohol solution for sterilization or cleaned with soap and water.

This toy has a plug-in jack which, I think, is meant to make cleaning easier by allowing you to unplug the toy from the remote; the Swingin’ Pendulum is not waterproof. The remote control and battery pack felt alarmingly flimsy when empty, but the added weight of 2 AA batteries does improve this some. The remote features a dial control from “Off” to the highest “On” setting.

This sex toy is made up of 3 stimulators which combine to make the toy look like, well, a pendulum. The insertable, G-spot stimulator is thumb-shaped and curves slightly toward the front of the toy, where the G-spot would be. IT also has three pronounced rings toward the base. The clitoral stimulator makes up the front, bottom portion of the toy and has 2 rows of 3 evenly space nubs for a total of 6. I was initially put off of these nubs because they are hard. Finally, the anal stimulator tapers (like a.. tentacle?) and is topped off with a spherical knob.

Right out of the box (clear plastic with a half-naked blondie in the background – there isn’t a lot of useful information to be found), I tested out the vibrations. I had no problem inserting batteries or using the dial. The vibrations, which are centered in the bottom of the pendulum but translate to the insertable thumb pretty well, start off pretty mild, and as I turned them up, the vibrations changed smoothly without being too jerky. There is a light on the control pack which starts dim and grows much brighter as you turn up the vibrations and I suppose this would be nice in the dark. On the highest setting, this light makes the entire top half of the control glow.

One thing I found was that, at some point near maximum vibration, this toy starts to go wild. The vibrations become really shaky and unstable feeling, the light flickers a lot and the toy sounds as though it’s going to explode. I’m so not even kidding. It sounds like it’s really straining, as though California Exotic tried really hard to add some higher settings but this little toy just couldn’t handle it.

Testing aside, I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t realize how difficult to use and uncomfortable the Swingin’ Pendulum would be. My personal experience was that the clitoral stimulator was much too short to reach my clit unless I did something akin to the Hokey Pokey. The anal stimulator was also short and oddly placed so it simply sat between my cheeks and there was little vibration to be felt there. The G-spot stimulator carried the vibration the best but it wasn’t doing anything spectacular. I couldn’t even feel the nubs or rings and I wasn’t able to insert the toy as far as I would have liked because of its shape. The velvet cote mattered not to my girl parts.

The hard plastic has absolutely no give and, by now, I know there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to sex toys. I think a more giving material, like silicone, would make much more sense. Being able to adjust the clitoral and anal stimulators would have made this experience much more pleasant.  There was really only one part of this toy that did what it was supposed to, but I already have better G-spot vibrators.

Overall, this was a disappointing toy and experience. After using it, I actually felt a bit sore. The hard plastic meant I couldn’t grind against or rub the toy on me without it being painful. I could only really use it lying down (I thought I might be able to use it sitting, inside my panties) without it being uncomfortable and pinchy. Lastly, I took a closer look at the Swingin’ Pendulum and saw that it was not seamless; there were cracks and gaps where the pieces of the toy fit together, and I imagine this would be a perfect place for bacteria to hide – thus making this toy less sanitary than I’d like.

If you’re looking for triple stimulation or G-spot toys, there are many better options, including Mona.

14 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.