Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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I’ve also reviewed sexual health goodies.
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I’m trying a new thing with my reviews. Hopefully, this will shorten up some reviews that would otherwise be terribly long. Another benefit? Extra content here at Of Sex and Love.
The Sasha harness was the first to impress me with its packaging for quite a while. It came in a box, which surprised me. I wasn’t sure how it would be packaged because it was my first harness. It’s completely recyclable. I won’t be keeping it.
There was a matching storage bag with plenty of room from the harness itself and a small dildo. It also had a very heavy duty lingerie bag, which Iquickly stole for use with my actual lingerie purposes.
All in all, the presentation was quite impressive, and it’s been so long since I’ve been able to say that about a new toy for quite a while. The extras are actually usable, which makes all the difference. I’ve had plenty of luxury items with extras that aren’t worth the shipping payment. Nine times out of ten, I’d give up the extras for a cheaper price.
That’s my first impression.
Fun Factory G4 Big Boss
$109
from Of Sex and Love Store
I know, I’m ridiculous. This review has been a long time coming. A long time. But it’s one that I wanted to write for a couple reasons, mostly because I quite like this toy and also because the comparison to the Big Boss is necessary. With a capital N. I loved my original Boss. In fact, that was the very name of the review. It remains a toy that’s pretty firm and pretty large, something that usually makes me hate all other toys, but I like the Boss. I like Fun Factory. I liked the vibrations. I liked the little clitoral nub, and I liked fucking myself with this vibrator. Got it? Okay.
So, I wanted to see if I’d like the Big Boss better. And was it really bigger? And would it be stronger or buzzier as a rechargeable version?
First things first. The Big Boss is bigger than the Boss. I’ve read more than one review that claims otherwise. Shut the fuck up, morons. The Boss has a slightly-smaller 1.6″ diameter. The Big Boss upgrades this to 1.75″. Neither are the biggest toys ever, but the silicone remains the same on both models. You can bend the shaft slightly but it’s pretty firm. Fun Factory’s finish also creates a lot of drag that makes insertion pretty difficult. Not everyone likes it. I’m not going to lie to you all: I barely got this thing in. If G-spot stimulation were the end-all and be-all, this toy would have failed. It really would have. The Big Boss is too big for my tiny vagina (vaginy?!?) at the point. Now, if I were having sex or constantly using insertables or didn’t develop spasms at the thought of warming up, this wouldn’t be the case, but the Big Boss is a solid toy, and I just can’t do it. But that’s my fault, not it’s fault.
By the time I got anything inserted, I felt like I’d used an entire bottle of lube. It was only like 1/4, but, you know, I was all sorts of slippery. This was a freakin’ masturbation adventure, and who doesn’t like adventures?! The contoured head of this and a little lube and my clit is, like, the best adventure I’ve ever been on. I know, I know, this is an internal vibrator, but it works pretty damned well on my clit, and that’s precisely why I’ll be keeping it around. Even if it doesn’t work for its intended purpose, the Big Boss works damned well for other purposes. Multitasking motherfucker.
The Big Boss is also molded differently from the original. You might not even realize it from the pictures, but I noticed it. The one feature that I really liked with the Boss is that little clitoral nub. The shaft curves slightly, and on the inside of the curve is a little nub. It’s the result of two ridges that run parallel gently swooping together toward the handle/base of the vibe.. and it does nothing if you insert this straight, but I would insert the boss only halfway and, then, pull the rest upward, which allowed my clit to enjoy the pressure of the nub.
Unfortunately, the Big Boss pays homage but fails at offering any clitoral stimulation. The Big Boss has a ride on the outside of the curve, and I couldn’t feel it at all. On the whole, the Big Boss is straighter, while the original has a relaxed “S” shape. There’s this decorative ridge that gives the impression of a nub toward the base, but it does jack shit for my clit. I am ranting in rhymes. That’s how much it sucks. I don’t know why Fun Factory deviated but they were wrong.
However, I like the move to rechargeable. The original used the same buttons, with the addition of a boost button. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t want to have to push down an extra button when I want extra juice. That’s lame. All the buttons were stupidly difficult to press to boot. This isn’t the case with the Big Boss. The buttons are soft and responsive, and the base has that light that turns one when you touch it. All in all, it’s a vast improved. I do find the looped handle better in theory than practice. My arms, hands and fingers just don’t work at the right angles to work it, but it’s not like I can’t use the vibrator.
This used Fun Factory’s magnetic charger. It means the thing is waterproof if you want to go deep-sea diving with your Big Boss–I joke. It’s probably not that waterproof, and you don’t want fish poop in your vaginy–you can. The charger is finicky, though. You need to line it up just right and make sure not to bump it. You’ll probably want to check on it every so often to make sure it’s still charging. I say this from experience.
So does this produce a vibration that satisfies me? Yes. The Big Boss is definitely stronger than its predecessor. When I hold them both, I can feel it. The Big Boss is also a little buzzier. Normally, this would be a con, but I can’t fault it. Most manufacturers only give us strong and super buzzy, so I’ll accept this level of vibration. The comparison makes me realize, however, that giving the original a 4/5 stars for vibration was really generous. It’s probably only a three; although, the vibrations are the deep kind that I like. The newest model is a buzzy 4-ish. It’s no Hitachi, but it’ll do pig, it’ll do.
The Big Boss also slightly annoys me with the digital motor whine. Mine doesn’t seem cheap, per se, but it seems like something is loose-ish. I can’t say if it’s just mine or the whole line. My G4 Calla didn’t seem that way at all. Regardless, it wasn’t anything so distracting that I couldn’t enjoy the Big Boss. Ultimately, I have a lot of little complaints, and they wold have resulted in a negative review for any other toy. The Big Boss didn’t do what I expected, but after a night with it, I was still flushed and sweating and on the other side of several orgasms. Who am I to complain?!
Body & Soul Connection
$25
from Amazon
This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.
It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.
The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!
Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.
This toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.
At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.
Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.
Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.
Faux Tiger Fur Spanking Paddle
Lovehoney has since discontinued the Tiger Fur Paddle, but they still have other items available under their Bondage Boutique line, including some plan furry ones.
I’m into the tiger things lately. Remember those cuffs? Well, this paddle is better. Ultimately, they were pretty cheap, and not stripey in the right way. It’s probably a complaint you don’t often hear. You’re welcome.
The only real negative I can state is that it smells. Out of the package, there was an overwhelming fake leather smell. You’ve smelled it before, I’m sure, and it might not even bother you. I just don’t love it.
Otherwise, it’s on to the pros. This is actually smaller than expect. The span of the fingers on my tiny hands is bigger than the paddle, but that’s not a horrible thing. For one, you can control is easily. It’s also good on petite behinds.
I was impressed with the plushness of the fur. The stripes are great–not exactly realistic but appealing to my eye. To my hands, this fur is way plush. Sticks up and over and offers a lot of padding. It’s much more plush, for example, than this fur slapper I reviewed a while back. When you smack someone’s ass with this, it’s soft and thuddy. The impact spreads out, rather than landing in one place.
Even if I give it my all, I can’t do much damage with that side; although, you can flip it over and use the fake leather side. Still, the paddle is just a little bit flexible, so I find that this lessens the impact. It doesn’t impede performance necessarily, but it makes this paddle on the lighter side of bondage. On LoveHoney, the review system asks you to rate kinkiness. I guess I chose about 3.5 because, to be honest, it doesn’t seem that kinky to me.
The handle is bordered in metal rivets to add to its hardcore appearance, but this tiger is really a kitten. Technically, you could use the handle as a paddle to get more stimulation, and it would be more acute than using the furred paddle.
At the end of a handle is a leather strap, which helps you keep your grip while using the toy and makes it easy to store. I’d wipe it down with a damp cloth if you have any cleaning to do.
Although I haven’t had a chance to really use this, it seems like a well-made toy at a decent price. It delivers both in looks and feel, and it’s non-intimidating if you’re just getting into impact play. I’m definitely interested to see what the rest of the Bondage Boutique has in store!
Tantus Splash
Tantus no longer makes this dildo in this colorway, but you can buy the similar Magma dildo in silver or black for under $40.
You may recall that the Splish surprised me. It was much smaller than I thought. In fact, while pretty, it didn’t do a whole lot for me. The Splash, on the other hand, was a dildo that I expected would be much too large, especially with the texture. I didn’t expect to like it much at all.. but I was wrong.
The Splash is almost identical to its younger cousin, but it’s much bigger. At 1.75″, it’s not for the tiny vagina-havers of the world. The drippy ridges add some serious texture to this dildo, too. If you like it smooth and small, this isn’t the toy for you. Why not try the Faerie or Silk dildo instead? And, indeed, I thought I would be one of those people who wouldn’t like the Splash because of this. However, I was dead wrong. It’s definitely not the size that changed my mind, though, because it is a wee bit large for me.
My vagina really had to struggle to take this one, and there was no way I was going to get the full 6″ (insertable) up there, even if I wanted to. Still, the texture was so very noticeable. My G-spot was, like, “Hey, guys, I can feel that.. a lot!” and then I freaked out, wondering who the hell my G-spot was talking to and just how it was accomplishing this task.
The Splash took very little time and effort, in terms of movement, to elicit some FE action from my body. It felt pretty good doing it, but I feel like I’d enjoy it slightly more after sex or other toys.. but I’m not the type to whip out a dildo post-intercourse, and aside from reviewing, I don’t take much pleasure in using multiple insertables during a jam masturbation session.
So, I’m pleasantly surprised by how well my body reacted to this melty-candle-lookin’ dildo. It’s not one that I would reach for all the time. My Vixskin dildos feel good, and they let me squirt without requiring prep or effort. Similarly, I can’t say this is the perfect dildo for everyone. Size queens will love it, but its girth means it feels pretty solid. It’s not rock hard, but it’s pretty firm, and the texture could very well be uncomfortable or painful for some. I’ve used toys that look like they had a lot of texture, but the Splish and Splash really take the cake.
However, if you like size and texture, you’ll probably love the design of this. The gradient between purple and white is one of the best designs, as far as aesthetics, that I’ve seen from Tantus. The texture is great to look at, and the base makes it safe for anal play and compatible with harnesses. Perhaps the amazing Sasha harness from SquareParts.
Wanachi Rechargeable Massager
$43.96
from Adult Sensations
I’m not going to lie, part of the reason I requested to review the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager is simply because I remember them showcasing it on that one sex toy shopping TV show, the name of which completely escapes me now. I can literally hear one of the hostesses talking about it and, you know, I thought it might be nice to have a rechargeable full-size massager. Both of mine, while powerful and small, require me to tether myself to the outlet. I have pulled my Miracle Massager cord out of the outlet more than once, guys.
As is there were any doubt from the name, this is Pipedream’s Hitachi knockoff. There’s really not much difference as far as I can tell; although I’ve never used a Hitachi. I don’t think I would want to now, to be honest. The box for this vibrator was huge because, well, the vibrator itself isn’t a petite thing. It’s heavier, longer and wider than my Miracle Massager… even combined with my Inspire. I was just not prepared for this monstrosity. The head of this massager is like the size of my fist.
I also wasn’t surprised for it to be charged. I’ve gotten lucky with toys that way, lately. They usually aren’t but this one was. A slider switch let me easily move between the two settings.. and I was immediately disappointed. The vibrations on the lower setting weren’t any stronger than some vibes that take 2AAs or 3 or 4 AAAs. They weren’t as buzzy, sure, but they were just plain weak. Any of the Jopen vibrators blow this one right out of the water.
On the high setting, it wasn’t quite so bad… but it was still like the low on my Miracle Massager or Inspire. The vibrations of the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager were so lackluster that I plugged it in, thinking maybe it wasn’t charged all the way. Unfortunately, it was.
I wish my disappointment ended there, but it doesn’t. I was resting this hulk (hey, they should make it green!) against my clit, and the edge of the head was doing okay for me, when it just died. Now, I think I’d gotten off once or twice, and I sort of wasn’t paying attention as I finished The Great Gatsby, but the vibrator died well within 30 minutes. That’s right, after I double-charged the thing, it just died.
Now, I wish I could say “whoa! these guys says I should get 3 hours of time,” but I can’t. Honestly, the product description is so freakin’ vague. I’m not sure what the advertised amount of usage is, or how long Pipedream recommends that I charge this vibrator for. Regardless, it wasn’t strong, small, quiet or long-lived enough for my tastes. The only way in which this massager really didn’t disappoint me is with its flexible neck. It’s super flexible. Way more than the Inspire.
I think you might assume that it’s as strong as the Hitachi, but it’s just not. If you want cord-free, take any vibrator that runs on 2AAs. It’ll do you better than the Wanachi Rechargeable Massager, by far.
[Edit]
Oh my god, you guys. This thing is a fuckin’ zombie. I accidentally bumped it on my nightstand, and it works again! I didn’t charge it, I just turned it on and it worked. I’ve been able to get a few more sessions of use out of it. While it’s still weaker than you’d expect, it apparently works longer. I just don’t know why. Perhaps it overheated the first time, which is definitely not a sign of quality. Your guess is as good as mine.
Playful In Pearls Satin Eye Mask
This product has been discontinued.
This month’s assignment from CEN’s Sexpert program was a surprise. I don’t know if I would have chosen anything from their light bondage line, titled Playful in Pearls, myself. However, I can more than give you a thorough review regardless.
The satin mask is a slight upgrade to the free masks. It doesn’t just look like a pad on a string. There’s a more defined contour for your nose. Rather than a thin elastic strap, the band is bordered with lace on the top and bottom. In the center, back of the blindfold is a big ribbon bow. To top it all off, there’s a row of faux pearls along the top front of the mask. All in all, it’s very feminine, and I think this definitely affects who is going to buy this. It’s a little too much going on for me. The ribbon, mask, and lace have too many textures for my personal preference.
So, while the mask isn’t quite a pad-on-a-string, it’s not perfect. The satin is stiffer than I like, but it’s not so stiff that it doesn’t pull across the bridge of the nose. I experience this with softer materials. My KinkLab blindfold, for example, is stiff enough to prevent this. The elastic stretches and the mask stays stationary. Plus, while the lace and elastic band is stretchy, it’s not going to fit every head. The band itself is just under 14″ long, with another 7.5″ for the mask itself. It stretches much larger, obviously. I find this to be a little loose on my head, and it’s not adjustable. On the other hand, if your head is larger than mine, this won’t be a problem.
Although contoured, the mask isn’t quite enough to block out all light. The layers of fabric are pretty thin, too. It’s not a very good blackout blindfold, and the blindfold will slip during use, especially if it’s loose. For these reasons, I feel like this piece is really better for show than function. Take some pictures, but that’s about it.
The problem is that it doesn’t look as good up close as you think. The line of “pearls” is sewn on with a clear thread, like fishing line. It looked up over the top of the mask and only goes through the actual material ones. This means that the pearl beads can slide out of place. One in particular, on my blindfold, likes to flip behind the mark, so I’m constantly adjusting it. This really wreaks havoc on the aesthetic appeal, at least for me. Because the beads are just spheres with a hole on either side, a regular stitch would work for this. I’m not sure if it would require more effort, but the result would be nicer.
On to the cuffs, which, unfortunately, suffer from many of the same flaws. The cuffs are two elastic and lace bands with velcro enclosures, and they’re permanently attached to each other with a string of pearls. I think the cuffs themselves are cuter than the blindfold. I’d almost wear them as regular accessories with the loose lace and the pretty ribbon bow on top. If you look at the point where the velcro attaches, it looks a little odd, but this isn’t so noticeable if you’re not staring directly at it.
The wrist cuffs do seem pretty tiny, especially compared to some of the nylon and leather ones I’ve tried. They’re about 7.5″ long, unstretched. You can stretch them another two inches, and the lace does have some elasticity but, again, these seem intended for ladies and not men. This also limits their versatility as ankles cuffs.
The real drawback is the line of pearls in between. They’re strung on the invisible thread; although, they’re tight enough that you can’t see it at all. The long row of faux pearls looks pretty cheap and, IMO, tacky. It’s very plastic-y. The bound person has 9.5″ of space between her hands, which lets her move some, but not much. I would worry that, during actual play, the bound person might accidentally jerk, tear the thread and the pearls would go flying.
CEN has tried to avoid this, because you can see that the ends of the strings are tied in one giant glob of a knot. It’s noticeable only if you’re looking, I suppose, but you’d think they could do it much better. It’s really sloppy. I didn’t give this one a full-strength pull test but, again, I’d be careful with it.
While I like the idea of the playful in pearls pieces, the execution just needs some work.
