Below you’ll find all of the sex toy reviews I’ve written at Of Sex and Love. Find my opinions on vibrators, dildos, media (sex education books, porn, DVDs and erotica), bondage and BDSM gear, lingerie, anal toys, lube, massage products, and more!
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Deep V neck polka-dot baby doll
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
The most recent addition to my lingerie collection is the Deep V-Neck Polka Dot Baby Doll by Elegant Moments, a manufacturer whose designs have really attracted my attention. They strike me as super cute and feminine, as opposed to just barely there. It’s a baby pink, with poolk dots, babydoll that flows and has a medium pink ribbon that ties in a bow and falls delicately down the front. The epitome of femininity.
I do suspect that the images have been photoshopped. You do get an idea how sheer it is because you can see the model’s nipples through it but the pink is so light that the polka dots don’t contrast as much as the publicity photos. This isn’t bad.. it just is.
The piece is made of a super-stretchy and light polyester. It feels cool against the skin. The hem along the bottom edge and sleeves is done so it’s a little ripply, not straight. The ribbon is satin and all the edges are finished and the bow is sewn in permanently. It’s only attached from one side in the front to the other; it doesn’t extend across the back. However, the way it’s sewn makes the empire waist the tightest part of the babydoll.
All the stitching seemed secure until I tried this one, for the second time, and I realized the ribbon was doing that fraying thing away from where it was sewn on both sides. Because it’s sewn along the top and bottom edges, too, it will stay on but it’ll bug me forever
Fortunately, or unfortunately, for me, I’ve been losing weight. The result is the XL that I ordered is actually too large for me me. The babydoll is designed so that the V-neck will sit at the widest parts of the shoulders, revealing most cleavage, than closer to the neck. The cut of the neck is quite low and dips well below where the bottom of my bra would sit, especially because my shoulders are not broad enough. It seems to me that the XL is intended for someone with at least DDs but then it’s so stretchy that it really offers no support.
This babydoll is designed with long, ruffly cap sleeves and I guess I could do without quite so much material. It doesn’t look bad on the model but, on me, I felt as though the sleeves were ginormous. It could just be because I need a smaller size but then I worry that the waist would be too tight on me because that was the snuggest part of the outfit… but the model for the plus-sized version doesn’t look all the appealing in it either, to be honest. It definitely seems like there’s far too much fabric for even her well-endowed top side.
On the other hand, I do like the thong even though it’s got an interesting aspect. The front consists of the same fabric as the babydoll with a darker pink trim. There’s contrasting stitching that’s pretty adorable. The strange thing is that the back of the thong actually loops around the waistband and is movable from side to side, along the waistband. Also, the tag is sewn to the back piece which is just plain odd. Usually, with thongs, it’s sewn to the front panel. You’ll definitely have to cut it off. Still, it’s cute.
Ultimately, the sizing issue still would have resulted in an okay review from me because I do like the feminine design, the ribbon and the cool, silky feel of the material. But it’s obvious that the quality is lacking and the manufacturer just didn’t know how to make this fit a variety of body shapes and sizes. Even if I loved it, there’s no way I’d pay MSRP for it and this makes me hesitate buying from this manufacturer again.
Lelo Massage Candle
$43.29
from Store.OfSexAndLove.com
When it comes to the design of Lelo’s massage candles, they’re really quite solid. Each candle sits in a black ceramic (I think) glass that is just a tiny bit translucent. The candle has a metal lid with a looped handle on top. The handle is made of an amber-colored plastic that, in my opinion, is the low point of the design. It’s probably just because it’s not my favorite color.
When you first open the candle, there is a piece of foam with an attached ribbon. I’m not entirely sure what functions this serves. Perhaps it helps to seal the easily melted wax in place? Or keeps the scent for longer? It’s a bit like the cotton wad at the top of a pill bottle.
The wax itself is soft and white. It’s not difficult to rub some off with a finger but it is noticeably more firm than any other massage candle I’ve tried. This means that you will have to burn the candle either hotter or longer than others and it’s peculiar, to say the least. However, perhaps Lelo wanted to stress the longer burn time over the massage properties. There’s certainly a balance to be achieved, and I think this product just missed the mark.
The scent I requested to review was vanilla & creme de cacao. I’m not exactly sure what that should smell like. Red velvet cake, maybe? I’m also not entirely sure how to describe what it does smell like. The unlit candle isn’t pleasant in the least. After lighting, it smells better and I can detect the vanilla.. but it almost smells like spoiled cake batter. It’s almost like something snuck in there with the good smell.
Even if I loved the smell, I’d still have to complain because it’s virtually impossible to detect unless I hold the candle right under my nose. It doesn’t waft through the air. It’s nearly impossible to detect.
Perhaps Lelo has still created a product that works well even if it doesn’t smell amazing, you ask? No, they didn’t. I don’t know what to say about this one, but I lit the candle to melt before I started writing this review, and even after letting it burn for several minutes, there’s barely enough wax melted to give a hand massage, let alone a full-body one. I can also feel that the wax is much hotter than other candles, and I suspect it burns so hot that the wax is literally melting away rather than melting into oil. Plus, the candle doesn’t burn evenly. There’s still plenty of wax on the sides.
The cylindrical container, while cute, isn’t actually ideal for pouring what oil there is because there’s no lip or spout to direct the oil. That’s why I have drip lines of wax down the side. You have to hold your hand directly next to the jar (and flame) and risk burning to avoid spilling. You’d think a premium company would have considered this detail. It’s not my ideal choice, but my furniture is more expensive than my skin, so there’s my choice.
Unfortunately, the list of moisturizing ingredients doesn’t include aloe–even though it does include vitamin E, soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil–so I can’t use this handle to heal the wounds it causes. Just kidding. It’s not that hot.
If you’re patient enough to wait and then use this too-hot product, you’ll probably still be disappointed. It’s probably the greasiest-feeling massage product I’ve ever used. It rubs into the skin quickly and has a thick feeling that actually seems to cause drag. Lelo’s massage candles really make me want to wash my skin as quickly as possible.
I can’t wait to burn this up so I can put something useful, like pennies, in the container. Other than that, there is not a single redeeming quality about the Lelo massage candles.
bsoft in Burgundy and Pink
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.
Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to decrease the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.
While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.
The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.
The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.
I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some comparison pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to disperse and dilute the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the original.
For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.
I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!
While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?
Turtle
N/A
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
Papaya Toys garnered a lot of attention when they first emerged. Folks loved the whimsical designs, body-safe silicone and bright colors. I was not immune to this and lusted over the toys for some time. After the initial wave of toys went out to reviewers, the presses halted as the folks went back to work to tweak their toys a bit. I was impressed with a company who was actually listening to people like myself and was finally able to try out a Papaya Toy, the Turtle, recently. I want to say thank you to Pam and everyone at Papaya Toys for being so awesome for providing the product.
My first impression of Turtle, in its white and pink box, was positive. The packaging was pretty and the bright green turtle sat atop a black satin back. My package included a business card and the box itself had an introduction to the company and a separate manual for the toys (which all use the same controls). I didn’t take the time to read the instructions and I wish I had.
You see, the Turtle and its siblings have a unique bow-tie control that contains “two” buttons. The quotations are due to the fact that there’s obviously a third button in center.. or one of my buttons is off or extends too far to the middle. Regardless, this extra button clicks all on its own and seems to share some functions with the “+” button but doesn’t act as a master power button. So I spent a whole bunch of time trying to figure out why the hell they’d use three buttons.
I was doubly confused because the buttons function differently than most vibrators. I kept trying to push the buttons to increase vibration strength when pushing them changes modes (pushing the “-” button once actually turns the Turtle off) and holding them increase or decreases strength. This is a method that I don’t mind but usually throws me for a loop in the beginning.
So here I am, completely befuddled. It just doesn’t make sense. Two buttons would make perfect sense: the buttons would each be placed on the widest ends of the bow tie. Five buttons would be confusing but not as much as three: each vertex would house a button. But three? There’s a button on either end and one in the center, but the buttons are along one of the long edges of the bowtie, so it just feels.. confusing. Should there be more buttons along the other edge? Is this actually a button? Why does the power button not turn this thing off?
Then I read the instructions and realized there’s only supposed to be two buttons and either I’m missing the center just right to make the “+” button work (even though it clicks separately) or.. I don’t know. Defect? Poor placement on my model? I can’t even begin to answer the question, but once I figured out how it worked and tried to keep my finger from the center, it made a little more sense.
Unfortunately, this is when the Turtle completely failed to whelm me proportionately (you know, instead of underwhelming me). There is one mode of steady vibration and two pulsation modes. The pulsing is interesting, but the continuous vibes are pretty lackluster. I’ve used a lot of toys that rely on 2AAs, and they’re much deeper and stronger than this toy. This is one of those vibrators where you can easily mistake the highest setting for the low (like the Getaway Luxe). Even though I can hear the difference when changing the toy, there isn’t much difference to be felt. In my hand, it tickles more on high because the vibrations are more shallow but in use? Can’t tell.
It’s frustrating because the toy is thick enough that it seems like you could get another battery in there and that would really make a difference. However, this might mess with the reversible battery pack. I like that it doesn’t matter which direction or orientation I place it in, but I’d gladly sacrifice that for stronger vibes. Plus, the battery cap–which is just the end of the toy–is damned fickle. You really have to push it down onto the toy before you can screw it on. It’s a two-hand job.
I find the size of the battery pack/controls to be awkward in itself. It reminds me of some of the rabbits I’ve had and it’s pretty hard to control with my short arms. It has a total length of 9.3″ and three or so inches is dedicated to the battery cap. At its widest (where the battery cap meets the shaft), the diameter is 1.65″. We’re talking some bulk and the silicone makes it feel quite heavy.
The silicone also has a wonderful velvet texture, and I absolutely adore the turtle design. The lines remind me of a lower shell, and there’s a small nub on the head of the Turtle that should be ideal for G-spot stimulation. Not my G-spot, apparently. Because it’s so shallow, this vibrator completely misses it when resting comfortably inside. The narrowest part (around 1″ diameter) of the shaft sits parallel to my G-spot but, because it’s narrow, doesn’t touch it. I have to awkwardly angle it forward in order to get G-spot stimulation. Although the shaft has some give, the awkwardness makes it hard for me to bend it.
I also can’t feel the Turtle design internally. Sadness. However, I did enjoy the rounded head for clitoral stimulation, and I did squirt a ton after all that wrangling. Odd.
So, the Turtle is one of those toys that looks great. I love the idea of it but it’s just awkward in practice because of its size and bulk, finicky battery cap and whatever is going on with the buttons. If it hadn’t been so awkward, I would have loved to recommend it to anyone whose G-spot is more traditionally located. I’d love to see a new line of Papaya Toys that are slimmer and sleeker, with more power and.. buttons that do what they should.
Shunga Massage Oil
N/A
from
Although you can still buy other scents of Shunga massage oil, the company no longer makes this one.
When it comes to massage oils, like lubes, I’m not entirely pick. Does it glide a bit? Does it ease stress on the hands? Do I feel disgusting afterward? Will my skin be all sparkly (but not like a vampire)? The right answers to those questions–yes, yes no and yes, respectively–will garner a generally positive review with me. The thing that is bound to set apart a massage product, or any sensual item really, is the scent.
And boy did Shunga get it right with their Massage Oil. I decided to try something different than my typical choice of red berries. Red apples it was. Actually, I don’t know if this oil smells like red apples or green or a mixture of both, but it’s crisp, fruity, delicious, and exactly apple-y Not apple-like. Not apple-ish but apple-y. It reminds me of a diffuser oil I bought a while back (and now I may have to try to find it again). My only real complaint is that the smell doesn’t last as long as some of my other massage products. It definitely fades quickly, and this makes me a sad panda.
While Shunga’s performance doesn’t outshine any other massage oil (eh, they’re oils LOL), the scent is probably my second favorite–ever. It’s only right behind the Oil of Love in raspberry that I reviewed forever ago and, to be honest, that will probably remain my favorite massage oil if only because it’s also flavored and heating!
Shunga does have the heads up in that is has a larger bottle. In fact, the eight ounces of the massage oil is more than any other massage oil product I own and I’d hazard a guess that it’s the most affordable, per ounce. Secondly, the bottle uses the push top cap that most massage oils use. However, I have the older style of bottle with the cork and it’s messy and not foolproof.
So, if you’re into massage and want to try a different scent, Shunga’s Massage Oil in Passion Apple is something that probably won’t ever go up on my ToySwap list, and you should buy it yourself.
Maximus
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
Maximus is a water-based lube that has long been touted by fans of anal sex because it’s thick and more or less stays where you put it. Although I can’t even remember the last time when I ventured into anal territory, I enjoy thick lubes that stay where I put them because I’m a toy fiend. There’s nothing worse than lubing up a toy, only to have it drip all over your hands, or erotica book, or partner or floor or bed (see my point?) on its way to your target destination. So I like my lubes a little thicker.
Yet, in the past, I’ve used lubes that were so thick that they not only stayed exactly where I put them but they felt solid and thus lacked in any lubricating goodness whatsoever. This is not the case with Maximus, which is a thin, gel-like lube. It’s definitely not a liquid, but it does move, eventually. If you hold a toy upright, the lube will slowly obey the forces of gravity. But not so much that I wind up covered in it, which I enjoy. It’s actually thinner than I would expect, and the opening in the bottle is a little thicker, so it came out faster than I was ready for. I’ve got it down now.
Texture-wise, Maximus is pretty silky and it just keeps going and going. I generally test between my fingers when I write a review so I can give you an idea of how long it takes for a lube to dry up and whether it gets sticky as it does. My fingers are starting to become sore from rubbing together and they’re still silky, although not as slick, and not sticky at all. Perhaps this is the benefit of being a “high glycol” lube.
Because this is a water-based lube, it’ll wash right away with water. This is bad in showers but good when it comes to washing off your body or toys after playtime. I didn’t taste it, but it has no recognizable smell. It’s completely safe for internal play and with your silicone toys as well.
In summary: Maximus might be the best water-based lube I’ve ever use. But because of FDA regulations, became difficult to obtain, and parent company Bodywise no longer seems to make it.
Playing With Fire
$14.95
from Amazon
I don’t like to gush. For some reason, I feel like it takes away from my credibility as a reviewer but it’s hard not to, and I literally did gush, when reading Playing With Fire. This anthology is, without any doubt, my favorite erotica collection thus far. Usually, I open a book and like one story or two; I find myself paging through numerous others or becoming distracted as I wonder “When does this story end?” or “What’s the point again?”
Playing With Fire is not actually full of books about fire play; although, there is fire. Alison Tyler has picked stories that deal with fire and heat, whether literally or metaphorically, to include in this collection. Sometimes the connection is strenuous, sometimes it’s simply one line in the story and other times the title is fire/heat-related, but that’s the general theme. There’s a lot of “what we’re doing is so hot” and “this is so hot that I cannot wait.” In fact, the not being able to wait is almost as much as a theme as heat.
The result is stories that vary in length and style–although, none are longer than a few pages–as well as content and delivery but most of them are to the point. The reader doesn’t have to wait long for the sexuality to happen and the authors are explicit in their depictions. I read this in only three or four sittings. I found it extremely difficult to put down Playing With Fire and I was disheartened the last time I picked it up because I had so few stories left.
My favorites include “Carrying a Torch,” in which the female protagonist is turned on by her boyfriend’s other lover after accidentally seeing them have sex. Sophia Valenti writes her character’s fantasies to life fantastically. Secondly, Teresa Noelle Roberts absolutely hit it out of the park with her scorcher “One Hundred Degrees in the Shade.” A New Yorker couple escape to a cabin in the summer’s heat and everything comes to a boil with a hot sex scene as a storm rages in the background. I loved it especially because I feel the electricity myself when it’s storming around me.
However, this is not the perfect book. For some reason, there are quite a few stories to which cheating is a theme. This makes me a little uncomfortable. I understand why it can be hot for some but I’ve been too close to that setting in real life to appreciate it in literature. While I enjoyed most of the stories, there are a few that I just particularly didn’t. The most disappointing is “Burned” by Michael Hemmingson. In this story, a young woman is writing a novel and the story moves back and forth between what’s happening in the novel and for the author. There’s some strange fourth-wall-breaking narration and the sex isn’t particularly sexy. It’s an interesting story but makes for bad erotica.
