Swingin’ Pendulum

February 19th, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

When I picked out the Swinging Pendulum I was interested in triple stimulation. I’d just tried my first anal plug with a fair measure of success, and the “anal tingler” of this toy, paired with a thumb-like g-spot insertion and nubbed clitoral stimulator, seemed like a pretty package all wrapped up in pink. Unfortunately, there’s nothing swinging about this toy.

The Swingin’ Pendulum is little and cute – I would almost call it dinky. Made of hard plastic, the exterior of which is specially treated to result in a velvety texture (known as rubber/velvet cote), I liked how the Pendulum feels in my hand. Rubbercote can also be wiped down with an alcohol solution for sterilization or cleaned with soap and water.

This toy has a plug-in jack which, I think, is meant to make cleaning easier by allowing you to unplug the toy from the remote; the Swingin’ Pendulum is not waterproof. The remote control and battery pack felt alarmingly flimsy when empty, but the added weight of 2 AA batteries does improve this some. The remote features a dial control from “Off” to the highest “On” setting.

This sex toy is made up of 3 stimulators which combine to make the toy look like, well, a pendulum. The insertable, G-spot stimulator is thumb-shaped and curves slightly toward the front of the toy, where the G-spot would be. IT also has three pronounced rings toward the base. The clitoral stimulator makes up the front, bottom portion of the toy and has 2 rows of 3 evenly space nubs for a total of 6. I was initially put off of these nubs because they are hard. Finally, the anal stimulator tapers (like a.. tentacle?) and is topped off with a spherical knob.

Right out of the box (clear plastic with a half-naked blondie in the background – there isn’t a lot of useful information to be found), I tested out the vibrations. I had no problem inserting batteries or using the dial. The vibrations, which are centered in the bottom of the pendulum but translate to the insertable thumb pretty well, start off pretty mild, and as I turned them up, the vibrations changed smoothly without being too jerky. There is a light on the control pack which starts dim and grows much brighter as you turn up the vibrations and I suppose this would be nice in the dark. On the highest setting, this light makes the entire top half of the control glow.

One thing I found was that, at some point near maximum vibration, this toy starts to go wild. The vibrations become really shaky and unstable feeling, the light flickers a lot and the toy sounds as though it’s going to explode. I’m so not even kidding. It sounds like it’s really straining, as though California Exotic tried really hard to add some higher settings but this little toy just couldn’t handle it.

Testing aside, I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t realize how difficult to use and uncomfortable the Swingin’ Pendulum would be. My personal experience was that the clitoral stimulator was much too short to reach my clit unless I did something akin to the Hokey Pokey. The anal stimulator was also short and oddly placed so it simply sat between my cheeks and there was little vibration to be felt there. The G-spot stimulator carried the vibration the best but it wasn’t doing anything spectacular. I couldn’t even feel the nubs or rings and I wasn’t able to insert the toy as far as I would have liked because of its shape. The velvet cote mattered not to my girl parts.

The hard plastic has absolutely no give and, by now, I know there is no “one size fits all” when it comes to sex toys. I think a more giving material, like silicone, would make much more sense. Being able to adjust the clitoral and anal stimulators would have made this experience much more pleasant.  There was really only one part of this toy that did what it was supposed to, but I already have better G-spot vibrators.

Overall, this was a disappointing toy and experience. After using it, I actually felt a bit sore. The hard plastic meant I couldn’t grind against or rub the toy on me without it being painful. I could only really use it lying down (I thought I might be able to use it sitting, inside my panties) without it being uncomfortable and pinchy. Lastly, I took a closer look at the Swingin’ Pendulum and saw that it was not seamless; there were cracks and gaps where the pieces of the toy fit together, and I imagine this would be a perfect place for bacteria to hide – thus making this toy less sanitary than I’d like.

If you’re looking for triple stimulation or G-spot toys, there are many better options, including Mona.

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