Whatever happened to relaxing vacations?

December 3rd, 2008

My time back “home” went fast and was packed with excitement. Stepping on the plane this morning, I was exhausted both emotionally and physixcally and ready to come back to my cat. I arrived home to a package I knew had arrived and another which was something of a surprise. I had alreayd left without finishing my review for the Rock Chick and now I have a handful other items including the Passion Wave Vibrator and my first glass dildo (actually, it’s my first dildo ever)! Wow!

I am super excited to try it but definitely am too tired today. Why am I not sleeping yet?!

Anyway, as I struggled opening my boxes and waded through pounds of packing material – styrofoam and bubble wrap – it got me thinking. Styrofoam as a packing material really bugs me. Bubble wrap is better but a lot of things come in boxes which are just so large. I think bag type shipping containers save a lot of waste but they don’t work well for everything.

Am I the only one who is bothered by oversized boxes and tons of foam? Do your care about your packing materials and containers? Does it affect your shopping habits at all? What would you prefer?

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Categories: Everything Else

Sex Toy Materials at a Glance

November 24th, 2008

I am a little concerned about sex toy materials. Being, that I would prefer to use safer and higher quality toys but I would likely not completely rule out certain materials because they are not as quality. It really depends on the toy in question.

However, keeping track of sex toy materials – of which there are many – can be difficult even if you make an effort to be aware. So, I thought I’d provide a fact sheet detailing some of the common materials used for sex toys in descending order of quality. (I’m excluding things like wood, glass and metal which are much less confusing.)

Elastomed
Elastomed is a medical grade elastomer derivative which is nonporous, phthlalate free, hypoallergenic, odorless and completely safe. These toys are safe to use with either silicone or water based lubricants. Sex toys made of Elastomed tend to be less pliable. Although Elastomed shares many of the same great characteristics as silicone, it should not be boiled or wiped with an alcohol or bleach solution.
Silicone
100% silicone is nonporous, therefore it can be sterilized by boiling for 3 minutes or washing them in your dishwasher (top shelf, no mechanical toys, remove bullets) which makes them safe for sharing. It also does not contain potentially harmful chemical softeners known as phthalates. Silicone is rather pliable, comes in many colours and densities and also retains heat (try warming before use) which makes it very popular.

There is some debate about whether silicone toys can be used with silicone lubricants. Pure silicone toys can be used with silicone toys. However, toys need only contain 10% silicone to be labeled as such so your toy and lube (or if you store several silicone toys touching) may appear to “react” with eachother. This is actually the melting of chemical softeners in your toy which indicates that it is not pure silicone. However, you should spot test your toys to check. It is always safe to use a water based lube with silicone toys.
VixSkin Silicone
VixSkin Silicone is a 100% premium silicone product from Vixen Creations and is safer than other skinlike materials without losing its realistic feel. The material in VixSkin Silicone is nonporous and can be sterilized by boiling for 3 minutes, wiping down with a 10% bleach solution or washing in the dishwasher. Like silicone toys, it is best not to use silicone based lubricants with VixSkin Silicone because it may cause a reaction. Spot test your toy in an inconspicuous place if you would like to use silicone based lube.
TPR Silicone
TPR Silicone is a mix of Silicone and ThermoPlastic Rubber (see below). This phthalate free composite is 10% silicone or more and generally has no taste or smell. Hardness varies in TPR silicone which can be very pliable. It is less porous than jelly but cannot be sterilized so sharing should only be done with condoms. TPR Silicone can be cleaned with a toy cleaner of soap and water and, to ensure a long life of your TPR silicone toy, it should only be used with water based lubricants.
TPR
TPR, or Thermo Plastic Rubber, Silicone is a blend of silicone and rubber. Although it is less porous than rubber it is still slightly porous, thus it cannot be sterilized like pure silicone but can easily be cleaned with warm water and soap or a toy cleaner. TPR toys should not be boiled. If you plan to share TPR toys, use them with a condom. TPR Silicone is pliable, easy to wash and phthalate-free. TPR toys can be used with water or silicone based lubricants.
TPE
Thermoplastic Elastomers (Elastormer, TPE Plastic) are not nonporous and is essentially the same as TPR. However, they are less porous than materials such as Cyberskin. Like TPR toys, TPE sex toys should not be boiled and cannot be disinfected. These toys can be cleaned with warm water and soap or an antibacterial toy cleaner. If shared, use condoms with Elastomer sex toys. TPE is often used in toys which have several textures. Like TPR, TPE can be used with water or silicone based lubricants.
Jelly
Jelly is a common sex toy material and may be cheaper than silicone alternatives. However, it is also more inferior in quality. Jelly toys are made of PVC which is chemically softened with phthalates, a potentially harmful ingredient which causes jelly toys to have an unpleasant and sometimes stubborn “rubber” smell. Jelly toys are soft and pliable and come in many colours. Jelly toys are porous and cannot be sterilized so they should only be shared if condoms are used. Condoms may also prolong the life of jelly sex toys. Jelly toys can be used with both water and silicone based lubes, should be cleaned with warm water and mild soap and store in a cool environment.

Jelly may be a term given to any soft sex toy when the material is actually higher quality of traditional PVC jelly.
Rubber
Rubber sex toys generally contain latex, an ingredient to which many people are allergy. Latex toys are also lower quality than other sex toy materials and have a shorter life, even when looked after carefully. Rubber toys usually have a strong smell that may never be completely eliminated. Rubber toys are nonporous, thus they cannot be sterilized and you should use condoms with rubber toys you plan to share. Rubber toys can be cleaned with warm water and soap but should never be boiled. Rubber toys come in over 260 different colours, are cheap to make (and buy) and are soft which make rubber one of the most popular sex toy materials. Rubber toys can be used with silicone or water based lubricants.
Cyberskin
Cyberskin and other skin-like materials (Pure skin, SoftTouch, SoftSkins, PassionSkin, Futurotic) tend to be the least safe materials in the sex toy market because they are so porous. However, what they lack in safety may be counteracted by their flesh-like appeal to some folks. Cyberskin and similar toys can be cleaned with soap and water but never can be disinfected so use with a condom is a must if sharing toys. Using a condom may also be beneficial even if you do not share Cyberskin toys because these materials may contain potentially harmful chemical softeners known as phthalates which can also cause reactions between toys so store your Cyberskin toys away from eachother and silicone toys as well. Use only water based lubes with these toys and store them in a cool, dark place. Many of these toys arrived dusted in cornstarch and should be stored as such when you are finished with them (but not talc!) Condoms may prolong the life of these toys but do not expect Cyberskin and similar toys to last a lifetime.

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Categories: Articles

Toy Intimidation

November 9th, 2008

A good friend recently came to me with concerns about his girlfriend and her sex toys. He was feeling a little bit intimated and wanted to know this:

Am I, as a guy, good enough to make my girl have a better orgasm than she can get with using a toy? Is it weird or wrong to feel bad about something like that?

No, it’s not wrong to worry about something like this.

Because you’re only human. I think feeling intimidated is fairly common and understandable. However, taking a look at what makes up the intimidation can help to greatly reduce or even eliminate it. While I advocate sex toys, I understand that some people simply do not like this. This is not about not liking sex toys; rather, it is about feeling replaceable in relation to them. Furthermore, although my examples focus on a heterosexual relationship, these feelings are universal.

Yes, sex toys may be bigger than you are.

Vibrators and dildos may be bigger or longer or thicker. They are often even made to look realistic and next to your natural manhood, you may feel small. But keep this in mind. Bigger is not always better. The vagina is not a neverending canal and there comes a point when size is painful rather than pleasurable.

Yes, vibrators may have more bells and whistles than you do.

Let’s face it: vibrators do a lot of stuff. For starters, they vibrate. They pulsate. They rotate. They bend and wiggle and wave and have beads and even thrust like a penis. Furthermore, vibrators run on batteries or are rechargeable so they may last longer than you.

Yes, sex toys may sometimes feel better.

With all the technological advancements, no one is surprised how far sex toys have come. Sometimes sex toys do just the trick but sometimes a guy just wants to masturbate for a (relatively) quick and easy orgasmic release, too.

Yes, toy induced orgasms may be better.

But orgasms vary in intensity for many other reasons. I’ve had both awesome orgasms and really disappointing orgasms with a partner and with sex toys.

No, sex is not all about physical sensations (or even orgasm).

I don’t want to generalize but for many men, sex ends with orgasm and ejaculation. It’s easy to understand how this can lead to the assumption that the goal of sex is orgasm through pleasure. However, females are different creatures. For them, sex more often focuses on the emotional aspect. Pleasure is also important and, luckily, we’re becoming a society which stresses pleasure for both genders. However, the female orgasm is still one which can often be difficult to achieve. So if you think that sex is all about physical sensation, then sex toys may just give you a run for your money. However..

Yes, all that “other stuff” is important to her, too.

As I said, there is often a stronger emphasis on the emotional aspect of sex for women. The bond you share, the vulnerability you’re willing to show when stripped to the skin and intimate moments during sex are all important factors when it comes to enjoying sex. When these factors are high, the physical pleasure may not be as necessary or may be a secondary reward.

No, sex toys are not human.

I think this is what it all comes down to. It’s easy to feel intimidated when only consider the factor of pleasure but sex is made up of much than that for all people. Being comfortable with your significant other using sex toys is easier once you realize you are not replacable because of the human aspect. The emotional bond, your desire to please your lover, your ability to observe her reactions to please her better, small talk and even awkward moments make sex with another human unique and irreplacable and are why not heteosexual woman is likely to put her boyfriend in the nightstand instead of her vibrator.

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Categories: Articles

Cup n Cradle

October 22nd, 2008

Cup n Cradle

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I love dual stimulators, having mostly used rabbits and wanting to expand my repertoire, I decided to try the Cup N Cradle. It’s a reasonably priced and unique-looking toy, so I gave it a shot. The Cup ‘n Cradle is really the first of its type to grace the market. With its knobby G-spot stimulator stemming from the cradle-shaped clitoral stimulator, which rests against your clit with its many soft finger-like protrusions, the Cup N Cradle is certainly different from any dual stimulation vibrator, let alone the traditional vibe! With a remote attached by wire and a vibrator bullet, the Cup N Cradle certainly seems inviting, and its small size is perfect for even a first-timer. Did I mention it’s made completely of a soft, semi-transparent jelly?

This toy seems foolproof. Slip the G-spot stimulator into your vagina, and the clitoral stimulator will cover a wide surface area around your clit to give you increased pleasure over other, smaller clitoral stimulators. Slide the button on the remote up, and you will feel pleasurable vibrations wash over your most sensitive spots. Grasp the toy as its base and apply pressure and movement to your heart’s desire.

However, while the toy may be wonderful in theory, it falls short in application. I found that the jelly material, the position of the bullet vibrator, and the controls were all lacking in some way, and this proved detrimental to the experience.

Although the Cup N Cradle is powerful for such a small unit, it’s best to always use it with fresh batteries. Batteries anything less than new will provide a less intense vibration, as with many toys. With a new pair of AAs, the Cup N Cradle was too strong for me to use at top speed. It was most comfortable somewhere in the middle.

While a strong vibrator is generally a positive thing, the location of the bullet meant most of the vibrations were concentrated on my hand rather than my clitoris or G-spot. In fact, while the bullet did stimulate my clitoris, the vibrations were non-existent when it came to the G-spot stimulator. Many of my sessions were cut short because my hands were so irritated from taking the brunt of the vibrations. Needless to say, I was not an orgasmically happy camper on these occasions.

One of the most noticeable aspects of the toy is its soft jelly material. For anyone who likes their toys soft and closer to the ‘real thing,’ the Cup N Cradle might be right up their alley, and it definitely allows for a lot of flexibility. It especially feels nice over the clitoris and the surrounding area, with the tiny nubs rubbing against flesh. The cradle provides a unique suction to the skin, which is quite pleasurable.

However, I have found that the jelly material of this toy is, perhaps, too soft. I cannot achieve the desired pressure that I need to easily orgasm with such a soft toy. This is especially a problem when it comes to achieving the pressure that many women need on their G-spot, especially when the vibrations are so weak in that part of the toy.

Also, the sliding control leaves much to be desired. I’m not sure if all sliding controls are so ineffective, but the Cup N Cradle did not have nearly the range of vibration intensity that I expected after several uses. It seems that somehow the slider had loosened up, requiring that the button be slid nearly 3/4 of the way up before the vibrator even turned on, greatly reducing the range of vibrations. At this point, the Cup N Cradle is vibrating at almost full force. However, if I press the slide down forcefully with my fingers, I can turn the Cup N Cradle on at a lower setting. This does not make for a relaxing experience.

Furthermore, the slider does not allow the vibrations to increase gradually and smoothly. Instead, the vibrations increase in a rather jerky manner, which can be a bit distracting. I would prefer a remote with digital buttons or another type of technology that offers more precise control over the vibrations of the toy.

Overall, the Cup N Cradle isn’t bad. With a little patience and practice, it can be quite the diligent helper when it comes to achieving orgasm, especially with its strong vibrations and wide coverage obe improvedoral area. However, the Cup N Cradle would be improved with a firmer material, better bullet placement, and controls that are smoother and more precise.

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Categories: Everything Else

Touch of Fur Rabbit Whip

October 10th, 2008

Touch of Fur Rabbit Whip
from

Tabutoys no longer sells this rabbit fur flogger, but you can buy it directly from the maker in multiple colors.

This Touch of Fur Rabbit whip seems exciting! It looks luxurious and I thought it would be nice for some very tame flogging and sensation play so I went ahead and ordered it despite its price tag. As it turns out, it wasn’t worth it.

Let me say that this flogger seemed well made initially. The handle is very thick with securely wrapped leather and seems quality. At the end is a metal ring that will make the Touch of Fur easy to hang or can be used to add a wrist strap.

However, after one decent swing, over half of the tails came un-sewn and broke off. Further inspection shows that the 7 fur tails of this flogger are not whole pieces but are made up of 1 longer and one short piece each; around 2 inches from the handle, the longer pieces are sewn on. The sewing was very bad and this is where the tails came off. Luckily, I was able to sew them back on myself and all the tails no seem to be holding up well.

The fur tails feel simply amazing running across your skin. For very light flogging or running the tails across your partner’s (or your own!) skin, this will feel great. This would work well to tease if one partner was bound.

Don’t expect any more than that. No matter how hard you throw this flogger, there will be no stinging sensation or thud. I don’t think this would work very well as a warm-up flogger because the tails are simply too light.

Add to that, the poor quality of the sewing and this flogger is simply more for appearance than use. However, I think this would be a bit expensive to be a prop in a photo or to remain hung on one’s wall.

If you’re into sensation play, there are more cost-effective alternatives (even ones with fur!) than the Touch of Fur Rabbit Whip, and if you’re into impact play, there’s something more effective for your desires. I cannot think of a single reason to recommend this product to another consumer!

Looking for something more intense? Read my other flogger reviews.

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Categories: BDSM, Reviews

Sex Toy Parties: Fun but Not Financially Feasible?

July 22nd, 2008

I love the idea of sex toy parties, they’re great avenues to loosen up and enjoy yourself, bond with friends, get answers to questions you were afraid to ask and explore sexuality.

The party I went to was pretty fun with some people I knew and some people I didn’t. The consultant knew more than I expected her to know about the products. For instance, she mentioned not storing jelly toys together because they could melt together and had an example of a toy which had been stored close to another one. While this was really helpful to sex toy beginners, and she even mentioned some things I didn’t know, more definitely could have been said about materials in terms of health and safety. Of course, how educational the party will be depends full on how educated the consultant is. Your party experience will definitely vary.

Of course, these parties are not all about fun and games. They’re about money and you will constantly feel the pressure to buy in the back of your mind. The more money you spend, the better prize your friend, the host, will earn and the more the consultant will pocket, like any at-home party sales scheme.

Also, like many of those companies, the prices supported by sex toy parties are simply outrageous. The markup is anywhere from 10% – 90% compared to the exact same products, which can be purchased online or in stores that also have a larger variety.

I also find these catalogs lacking in variety. Many of the toys are low-end, from no-name manufacturers. I’m not a die-hard brand lover by any means, but I do appreciate being able to see some of the brands with which I am familiar and also brands that I know are high-quality.

You won’t likely see some of the newer, quality toys in the catalogs pushed on you at sex toy parties. Fun Factory toys and VixSkin dildos won’t be found at a sex toy party. Rechargeable toys won’t have their own page, and BDSM toys won’t be the kind to stand the test of time. More parties are starting to realize the worth of high-quality materials like premium silicone, metal, or glass, but I don’t recall seeing any toy made of those items at the party I attended.

Even when parties do carry more high quality items, the prices for inferior products are not good for your wallet. An investment of that measure and you want to ensure you’re getting quality products, a good value. Sex toy parties, more often than not, do not provide this value.

But should we boycott the parties? Not at all. They’re fun and offer opportunities to learn and shop that may not be found elsewhere. But before signing a check, it’s advisable to surf around online to see if you’re really getting a bargain or if you’re being taken.

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Categories: Articles

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.