Welcome to Elust 179

November 17th, 2024

Elust 179 Cover Image
Cover image courtesy of Countess Diamond.

Since I’m trying–and succeeding?–at blogging more actively, I’m also trying to develop and strengthen connections in my network, especially when social media has become such a shit show. My efforts include submitting to Elust (when I remember 🙃).

Elust is the only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice, or kinky discussions, it’ll be at Elust.

So far, I think I’ve only submitted reviews, and I’ll continue to do that as I catch up on past reviews and, hopefully, find a routine for posting regularly. However, you know I’ve got my fair share of opinions and articles, which I hope to (remember to) submit!

Aside from growing my readership, Elust is a great place to see what others are writing and find your next follow, so please do these folks a favor and give them a click and read!

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Pleasure Me Now, Virtual Vibrations: Bringing LDR Bliss With Blowjob Machines

Tantric Sexual Healing, Awakening Intimacy: A Tantric Journey to Sacred Sensuality

Erotic Fiction

Fern River Cub, Luc listens in

Lexi Rose, The Message: A Short Erotic Story – Part 1

Modesty Ablaze, “A Naughty Surprise” Part 4 of my Hotwife Diaries Audio Reading

Product Reviews

Sydney Screams, The Bivius Alien Dildo by Uberrime

Morgan Destera, TOY TEST – Funzze Black Fantasy Dildo

Liz X, Kiiroo Pearl 3 Vibrator Review: Remote Play & Video Sync Make It Unstoppable

Sex Toy DB, The Top 5 Squirting Dildos in 2024 to Simulate Ejaculation

Of Sex and Love, Heidi

Erotic Non Fiction

Awakening Your Inner Essence, A Tantric Perspective on Reclaiming Our Inner Worth

Kristina J, Humiliation To Liberation: A Dance Of Desire – 10 Years Of Submission

barefoot sub, Dancing In The Dark

Femina Viva, Managing the “feels” when visiting a companion

Sex Work

Carman Fox, Master Escort Communication

Thornhill Digital, The Future of Labour Rights Within Online Sex Work

Elizabeth, Torture Goddess

Sex Worker Search, Sex Worker Blogs via RSS Feed

Oz Bigdownunder, Oz in Dubai. Australian Halal Sausage is Back on the Menu

Books and Movies

The History of BDSM, The People’s Porn: A History of Handmade Pornography in America, by Lisa Z. Sigel

Writing about writing

Ramone Quides, When One Door Closes, Meditation Begins

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Spring 2021 Sexuality Media Recommendations

June 17th, 2021

It’s almost summer, which means I better get a move on if I want to post a list of recommendations for podcasts, books, and videos about sex if I want to do it while it’s still spring. Because I’ve moved to a seasonal-ish schedule, this list is long. But that means there’s plenty to listen to during your commutes, doctor-office-waits, and long walks through the cemetery!

I didn’t read many books about sex, so my recommendations are more general. Similarly, I didn’t watch any standout video content about sex, so I’ve focused on podcasts, instead. However, you’ll definitely find plenty of them listed below!

Read

I’m going to post my review of Erato: Flash Fiction shortly. In the meantime, you don’t want to miss this collection of skillfully written and inclusive erotic shorts.

It’s not about sex but I really loved reading My Favorite Thing Is Monsters for class and can’t wait for the second. Part of the reason the book speaks to me is the way it addresses sexism and sex work. If you like graphic novels that are literature, horror, and unique art, this is a must-read.

Another non-sex recommendation is Susan Cain’s Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. This book really got me thinking about how my brain works and how I can help–or hinder–it in the process.

Listen

I’ve been wanting to read Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen for a while. In this interview on Out in the Bay, she reads excerpts from her book, offers new ways to understand sexuality, and discusses moving from science journalism to a book inspire by her own sexuality.

I’d never heard of Man Up before I came across this episode about healthy porn habits. The hosts, who are average guys and not necessarily sexperts, feminists, or super “woke,” discuss healthy ways to use porn in such an honest way.

Researcher Justin Lehmiller invited Dr. Michael Moreno on his podcast in an episode about talking to your doctor about sex. It’s such an important issue because sex impacts our physical and mental health. Yet, doctors don’t always receive a lot of sex education or may avoid these subjects. Advice like that in this podcast is important for patients to advocate for themselves.

Although it’s an older episode, Unladylike re-aired How to Free the Vibrator, a discussion with Polly from Unbound Babes. It dives into creating a feminist, friendly sex store that people aren’t ashamed to shop at or talk about. It’s something that I can sometimes–but shouldn’t–take for granted.

If you’re into learning, then you might like This Podcast Will Kill You. The topics span a broad range, so I only tune in now and then. Of course, I couldn’t resist an episode about HPV. In fact, this episode is one of the most educational and straightforward information sources I’ve ever encountered when it comes to HPV. And I’ve been diagnosed with it. Twice.

While I’m not normally into astrology, this discussion between Nicole and Danny Santos on Sluts and Scholars was an interesting listen that made me appreciate its meaning to people a bit more.

Sex educator Jennifer Litner joins Nicole on Sluts and Scholars to discuss how parents can give proper sex education, pleasure’s role in our lives, and desire discrepancies in long-term relationships.

In an honest and casual discussion, Kitty Stryker and Sunny Megatron discuss the definition of manipulation and the various forms it takes, including those that aren’t inherently negative.

If you haven’t heard about all the censorship of sex happening on social media, this American Sex episode will blow your mind.

Anyone who has wanted to try rope bondage but finds it intimidating will love this interview with Midori American Sex. She tackles the issue in such a no-nonsense way that makes it super accessible while showinga how simplicity can still be powerful and creative.

Sunny absolutely smashed it in her breakdown of the history of sex and porn censorship on the Internet. She discusses how it has been an issue for literal decades, long before SESTA/FOSTA, and how stars, creators, and websites have dealt with increasing restrictions. This episode is so ridiculously eye-opening!

Catie Osborn relates how having ADHD impacts her sex life in an episode of American sex that’s just as helpful for those with ADHD as it is their partners.. and potentially everyone else!

I’ve been looking forward to reading Dr. Ina Park’s book about the science and history of STIs since I first heard of it. Her interview with Tristan Taormino only made me want to read it more (I’m sure I’ll eventually write a review about it)!

Academic and feminist Dr. Heather Berg literally wrote the book about porn as work, and she talks all about it with Tristan Taormino.

I love when someone just pulls back the curtain to reveal fuckery that’s been going on under our noses, and that’s precisely what Kaytlin Bailey when she appeared on Sex Out Loud Radio to discuss the history of sex work. I’m looking forward to checking out more of her work!

I hadn’t heard of Richelle Frabotta before stumbling on this podcast from Miami University, but I love her take on sex education so much that I followed her on Twitter, listened to other podcasts, and am seriously considering receiving training through the Sexual Training Institute, at which she is an instructor.

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December 2019 Media Recommendations + 2019 Wrapup

December 31st, 2019

This month’s new media recommendations are all podcasts; although, there is some other media types to check out in my 2019 wrapup.

Dr. Lehmiller has made the rounds discussing his survey about sexual fantasies, but his spot on NPR’s What We Do was one of the best interviews about it, no doubt in part to the skilled host.

Another NPR podcast, Planet Money, ventured into the billion-dollar sperm bank industry.

Check out this episode of Sex Out Loud featuring Tina Horn, who discusses making comics about sexual freedom (in a way that I hope isn’t a bad omen) Then, check out SFSX.

Finally, in this episode of Speaking Out Loud, the Pleasure Mechanics tackle the myth of the hymen.

2019 Wrapup

I also wanted to highlight some of the media I consumed over 2019 that have stayed with me. The best books have already been linked in my “Best of 2019” post, so this focuses on podcasts and video content.

In one of the last episodest56 of the apparently-defunct Science of Sex podcast, Joe and Dr. Zhana interviewed PhD candidate Christina Parreira who actually worked in a brothel.

Science Vs broke down whether the fertility cliff is real.

Speaking of Lehmiller, he interviewed Ari Tuckman about his book ADHD After Dark. They discuss the very real ways ADHD can play out in sex and relationships.

Outward’s episode about bi culture has stuck with me in subtle ways, even if I don’t remember any particular quotes.

Another episode from Science Vs that was an amazing and emotional listen is The Abortion Underground.

love how Sex Ed School teaches kids about sex in realistic, age-appropriate, and fun ways. This would never fly in the US, which is so frustrating, but perhaps some educators will find these videos helpful.

Unladylike dove into the rise (and fall) of lesbian bars around the world.

I grew so much respect for Amber Heard when she was on Sluts & Scholars.

I’m so glad that I received an email about Something Positive for Positive People. Courtney tackles the issue of herpes in a way that I can only hope to emulate. I particularly recommend episode 92.

You all know how much I love learning about the science of sex, so my mind was blown when I heard Nicole Krause talk about research I’d never heard of on American Sex.

The 8-part podcast Sold In America is about selling sex is amazing.

And if you prefer visual content, Philosophy Tube’s episode about sex work was highly-regarded and for good reason!

Although not about sex, I really enjoyed the episode of Freakonomics featuring Geena Davis, who talked about Hollywood’s princess problem.

I’d also like to recommend the audiobooks of the LOTR series as narrated by Ron Inglis. They were so good!

If you click no other links, you absolutely must check out the free series Mercy Mistress on YouTube. Based on the memoirs by Mistress Yin, it’s a lovely, erotic, and more realistic take on BDSM than we’re used to.

Finally, my readers should check out the nerdiness that is this American Sex podcast with erotica writer and tabletop gamer Shanna Germain.

 

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November 2019 Media Recommendations

November 29th, 2019

Another month has passed. Another spate of podcasts has graced my ears. Between work, holidays, and reviews, I managed to enjoy some awesome media related to sex, gender, and orientation. You’ll see my particular brand of nerdiness in this month’s recommendations.

Watch
Sex educator Emily Nagoski discusses the two things couples can do to sustain a sexual connection in the longterm in her recent TED talk.

I’ve also been rewatching Stargate SG-1, which I never don’t recommend. Ha!

Listen

Cristen and Caroline of Unladylike interview Ilene Chaiken, creator and showrunner of the original L Word, to discuss how the show broke ground, the inspiration for the show, being a woman in Hollywood, and the upcoming continuation of it. I was a late fan of The L Word, and 15 years later, it’s impossible to deny some of the things it got wrong. Still, I’ll check out the new one, and this interview was enlightening.

On a recent episode of Sluts & Scholars, Simone welcomed to the show former sex worker Juniper Fitzgerald to talk about the stigma of sex work even after a person has left the industry. Juniper, who is now a professor, talks about balancing her sex persona and real life, and how that doesn’t always work out. The interview isn’t polished as Simone has a lot of energy and is very distractable when not kept in check by Nicoletta, but it’s worth a listen.

While not detailing sex specifically, the recent Freakonomics episode about Hollywood’s “princess problem” welcomes veteran actor and feminist Geena Davis who was more than happy to discuss gender inequality in the world and in Hollywood and what she’s doing about it. Hint: she’s making the research happen.

In the most recent episode of Outward, the hosts and their guest discuss the way that kids learn about queerness and sexuality and the ways in which adults can respond that can be beneficial or harmful, especially when those parents might be cis and straight. Christina makes a great point about how teaching kids about queerness isn’t necessarily about sex and how important community is to queerness. They also bust the idea that there is one “sex talk,” and that parents must keep having these conversations with their kids. In the second half of the show, clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Edwards-Leeper joins to discuss how healthcare is handled for trans kids who haven’t reached puberty or age of majority.

A Peepshow podcast from September invites Ricci from Woodhull to discuss the organization’s legal case against the US over SESTA/FOSTA. The hosts were then joined by one of Woodhull’s attorneys, Larry Walters. This episode reveals why this is such an important case and what’s next.

Finally, this episode of American Sex featuring Shanna Germain, who writes erotica and makes games, looks at the intersection of kink and gaming (RPG/tabletop) and how the lessons we learn about consent through kink can be applied to ensure everyone at the table is comfortable. It might be my favorite podcast of the entire year, and so little of it is about sex. Shanna seems like a super cool person, and it definitely made me want to check out Monte Cook games more closely.

I don’t have any traditional book recommendations because I spent the last two months enjoying the unabridged audiobooks of The Lord of the Rings as read by Ron Inglis. They were so very charming, and I’m sad that the journey has ended. I actually signed up for Audible just to listen to the last two. I’m over my 60-book goal for the year, so I’ll probably take December easy and focus on comics unless something interesting comes up for me to review. I do still have two book reviews before the end of the year, so keep an eye out for those!

Folks, let me know what you loved this month that’s related to sex. Or even if it’s not!I

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July & August Media Recommendations

August 26th, 2019

I missed out on posting a media recommendation last month. Like always, the month rushed by and the end whizzed past me without my say so! This means I’ve got a good selection of recommendations this month; however. Perhaps I could make this bimonthly?

Watch

You might be familiar with Dr. Mintz’s book Become Cliterate, which I reviewed. Dr. Mintz recently gave a TEDx talked about the orgasm gap based on the same research she used on her book.

Listen

The last two months have been full of amazing podcasts, some of which were new to me.

Sold in America is an eight-part series about sex work by journalist and activist Noor Tagouri. It’s incredibly provocative and powerful.

On a related note is the recent Sex Out Loud episode featuring Audacia Ray. Tristan talks to Audacia about the movement to decriminalize sex work.

An email came across my screen about Something Positive for Positive People by Courtney Brame. Not only is he a POC, but he’s tackling the stigma and stress surrounding herpes and other diagnoses. Courtney is humble and vulnerable, perhaps never more so than in the episode “You Are Necessary.”

Stuff Your Mom Never Told You’s two-part series about bisexuality hit me hard. The ladies tackle misconceptions, bisexual erasure, and the confusion that can be involved.

I’m so glad I waited to pot this until after I took my walk. The most recent American Sex episode features sex researcher Nicole Prause, and I was amazed by what I didn’t know.  We’re just getting started folks!

Read

Good Sexual Citizenship: How to Create a (Sexually) Safer World will release next month, and I received a preview copy from Cleis Press. It’s definitely left-leaning but tackles issues of consent and sex education that are sorely lacking.

I’m also waiting for a copy of A Queer History of the United States to come back around. I recently finished the original A People’s History.. by Howard Zinn who admits, ina post-script, how he overlooked queer history. This book fills in the blanks and is a bit more enjoyable to read – plus, a lot shorter!

 

 

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June 2019 Media Recommendations

July 1st, 2019

June flew right past in a flurry of red tape, phone calls, and health concerns, so this post is later than it typically would be. However, this gave me a chance to binge a few podcasts and watch a few episodes so I can recommend more to my readers!

Listen

I was enthralled with the very first episode of Unladylike that I listened to once I came across it.  Cristen and Caroline, who formerly hosted Stuff Mom Never Told You, have been working on their podcast that tackles a variety of issues from a feminist POV since early last year. They’re all about smashing the patriarchy and encouraging women to do whatever the hell they want. It’s not a podcast I’d listen to every episode of, but I haven’t regretted any I’ve listened to. Of note are episodes titled How to Get a Rape Kit and How to Find a Lesbian Bar.

Note that none of these episodes are “how-tos.’ The naming mechanic is annoying.

The episode of Sex Out Loud with Yin Q introduced me to Mercy Mistress on Youtube but also her other projects including Red Canary, a sex worker organization that focuses on Chinese migrants who work at massage parlors. Yin Q describes to Tristan how selling sex work under the guise of licensed massage is actually a felony and describes the danger of being detained by ICE.

Just recently, Sluts and Scholars was removed from iTunes podcast list, and Shameless Sex had their IG account removed. I made a point to listen to both.

S&S had two great episodes with Amber Heard, with whom I was only really familiar because of her marriage to Johnny Depp. I loved learning more about her. Amber seems to be a strong, feminist who is very aware of her privilege.

I tuned in to the bonus Shameless Sex episode title Sex For Curvy Folks With Laura Delarato because I only had a little time. Laura discusses body positivity and practical sex advice for anyone who is curvy or having sex with a curvy partner.

Honestly, I listened to most of these tonight because I’ve been obsessively listening to Hello From the Magic Tavern for the last three weeks or so. It’s a nerdy, improv podcast that has successfully distracted me from the current stress of my life.

Watch

The Cut presents Sex Probz, a web series featuring sex educators Dirty Lola and Francisco who help people improve their sex lives. If you ever wanted to see someone’s sex life get a makeover, here you go! The pair provide simple solutions to issues such as long-distance relationships, having sex with a disability, exploring kink, and reclaiming your sexuality after having kids. Although the episodes are too short to go super in-depth, viewers can implement these practical changes in their own lives.

Samantha Bee’s Sex Ed for Senators is a hilarious, cutting, and enraging look at the misconceptions some politicians have about pregnancy and abortion. It’s probably old news for many of my readers but still entertaining.

I discovered Mercy Mistress when creator Yin Q was on Sex Out Loud. It’s a sexy series on YouTube. Each episode is short (under 4 minutes) and steamy without sacrificing reality (a huge criticism of Bonding on Netflix) as it takes a look at various aspects of a professional Domme. The music and visuals are both so well done. I love seeing kinky POC getting screen time! There are also bonus videos that introduce viewers to the different tools used.

Read

I focused on reading things unrelated to sex during the month of June, namely A People’s History of the United States and Grunt: The Curious Science of Humans at War, both of which I recommend. I also read a few comics/graphic novels. After thoroughly enjoying Good Omens on Amazon, I picked up the graphic novel adaptation of American Gods.

I also enjoyed the first two volumes of Man-Eater, a story about how cis girls who reach the age of menstruation become werecats that eat people. It highlights the mistrust and mistreatment of women in society. However, right around the time I discovered this series, author Chelsea Cain backed herself into a corner in response to critique that the comic ignores trans people. She’s since deleted her Twitter account and the future of Man-Eaters is unknown. I think the premise is interesting but agree that the comic is limited because Cain’s white feminism isn’t inclusive or intersectional. The experimental format also leaves each book feeling a little light. Perhaps we’ll see some less problematic feminist comics in the future.

I’m still reading A People’s History, so sex may take a backseat, but I welcome any of your suggestions.

What media did you consume related to sex last month?

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May 2019 Media Recommendations

May 28th, 2019

I’ve got lots of suggestions this month, so I’ll jump right into them.

Listen

Several podcasts touched on abortion in recent episodes. This includes Science Vs, which took a different stance with their episode called The Abortion Underground, in which host Wendy interviews women who required abortions when they were illegal and absolutely terrifying as well as women who provided abortion services. I wasn’t very familiar with how this worked, and this episode was eye-opening and timely.

Sunny Megatron also tackles the topic with a focus on how criminalizing abortion disproportionately affects marginalized groups such as people of color and those who are impoverished on American Sex.

A previous episode of Science Vs looks into the fertility cliff, whether it’s real, and why so many people

Outward hosts talked about sex ed this month. They discuss how many LGBTQ+ issues should be included in sex ed (and whether sex ed should just take that slant to begin with because straight people have so much to learn), how porn fails as sex ed, and why everyone should use lube.

My final recommendation is another Slate podcast: The Waves. Introducing Hi-Phi Nation: For Women Only is a brief history of trans women as feminist activists, the TERFs who exclude them, and how events in the 70s affect us all today.

Lovehoney also has a new podcast that you can give a listen.

Read

I’ve got to catch up on my reviews, including two book reviews. In Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots, Kate Devlin really breaks down the state of sex robots, who uses them, and the implications for human and does it all with a side of British humor. One of my favorite books all year!

Watch

I wasn’t previously familiar with Philosophy Tube before this video about sex work came across my screen. It seems like a lot of the topics covered were also addressed in the book Revolting Prostitutes (yes, a review is still coming!) including decriminalizing, marginalized people, and various models the world over, among others. I haven’t watched every second of the video, but it seems like a good intro if you can’t dedicate yourself to an entire book and especially if you listen to it on double time.

Terri Conley discusses myths about sex and specifically casual sex in her TEDx talk at U of M. She draws from her research that flips much of what we believe about sex and a person based on their sexual preferences and activities on its head.

Let me know what you thought of anything on this list or if you have suggestions for me!

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