First Mate Silicone Dildo

July 9th, 2011

First Mate Silicone Dildo

First Mate Silicone Dildo
$99.99 from Good Vibes

Even though the First Mate silicone dildo is smaller than the captain, it’s still quite a large dildo. Were it made of a firmer material/composition than it is, I probably wouldn’t enjoy it very much. However, I was thrilled to note that the silicone is softer than I was expecting. While this isn’t VixSkin, it certainly feels more realistic than any of the Tantus dildos I’ve tried. It squishes a bit when I squeeze it in my hand and I can bend the shaft a few degrees either way. This is definitely aided by the length of the toy. I haven’t even gotten around to fully inserting it and won’t even try because my cervix isn’t a big fan of that.

The First Mate measures in at 7 3/4″ and all but 1/2″ is insertable. This dildo has a width that varies between 1 3/4″ and 1 1/2″. It falls firmly in the realm of medium/large toys and is larger than most toys I’ve tried so that gives you quite the idea about the captain dildo. I had to use quite a bit of lube and then some more and, finally, more lube. The design is realistic and features veining and a drastically contoured head. Even though the shaft is quite straight, the bulbous head should provide enough G-spot stimulation from most, if the bulk doesn’t do it by itself.

It may have been the type of lube I used, but I found the First Mate a little difficult to use, and I had to keep reapplying. It was just a bit too big to glide easily so I found it better to use stationary with the use of a clitoral vibe. However, the contoured head was pretty great for clitoral stimulation, too. It felt fairly realistic to me.

The silicone of this dildo is a softer, more velvety finish as opposed to shinier silicones. It’s available in multiple flesh tones ranging from pale to pure black–which I received [Editor’s note: The First Mate is now available in a dark brown and dark purple only]. The plastic blister pack is the only packaging/storage material that it comes with, and it’s too bulky to be functional. Like any silicone, it tends to collect lint. It washes with soap and water but the base of the toy is slick — not slick enough to function as a suction cup, though — and hair and lint is more difficult to rinse off from this part of the toy.

Although the First Mate dildo isn’t perfect for me, I enjoyed the softer texture of the sex toy and think my readers will as well.

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Categories: Dildos, Giveaways, Reviews

Form 2

June 7th, 2011

Form 2
N/A from

Jimmyjane has since introduced the Form 2 Pro if you like to gamble.

Remember how whiny I was a while back about how I’d never tried a Jimmyjane vibrator? Yea, it wasn’t pleasant. Luckily, I have now had the opportunity. My experience has been a bit.. atypical, I think, so I have some interesting insights to share with you, dear reader.

Now, in case you forgot, the Form 2 is a rabbit-shaped vibrator, but it’s just the head with two ears that have separate motors. The ears, one would probably guess, are ideal for surrounding the clit or nipples or for passing on either side of the labia or.. an ear? Point is, while most people are going to head south with the Form 2, it does offer some versatility.. which is probably good because I really just don’t like it for clitoral stimulation. I tend to use toys in the general area of my clit, pressed to my pubic bone. It’s about pressure and indirect stimulation for me but it doesn’t get more direct than the Form 2–and it’s on both sides. AAAH! This totally negates the fact that the vibrations are shallow and buzzy, although concentrated.

My personal quirks aside, this just may be better suited to those of you who like direct stimulation from multiple angles. If you’re the type who can lay a vibe against your clit and eventually get off, more or less without any effort, maybe the Form 2 is for you. Unfortunately, I’m not you. My other personal complaint is that the ridiculous buzzyness of this vibrator quickly “numbs” me. Now, I don’t mean numb in the “woe is me, I used a vibrator and I’ll never get off from sex again” type way, so if you’re the anti-woman/masturbation/pleasure/intelligence type who believes that, STFU. No, I mean, that the vibrations are so shallow that my body literally cannot feel them after a while so I turn it up and up and up and eventually I’ve just spent half an hour with a toy that has absolutely not chance of getting me off and what am I doing?

I’m getting to know the toy for review, I guess. At least it’s easy to use. There’s a plus and minus button for controlling the vibration and another button with a squiggly line for moving between the different modes. Jimmyjane has included vibration and pulsation and describes them with an interesting infographic yet, because the buzzyness isn’t a good foundation for effective pulsation.

So I was all set to write this review and say, you know, this is an interesting toy and it seems made well enough, even if it didn’t produce the type of vibrations that I like.. When it turned itself on, vibrated itself right out of its charging base, fell on my bathroom floor and broke. Scared the crap out of my cats, too.

On the bright side, Jimmyjane was super quick about responding to my issue and sent me a replacement Form 2 STAT! I just returned the broken one via prepaid shipping today. I’m not having any issues with the new one. I’m a little hesitant to keep it in its charging base, should the same thing occur with my replacement, and also because the cats like to nom silicone, which happened with the Amor, too. Otherwise, I like the charging base. It’s convenient and the design uses a variety of flashing and steady lights to indicate charging and battery status. With the Form 2, you know exactly how much of a charge is left when you lift it from the base. That’s handy.

Because it uses a charging system with contact points–there’s a metal “disc” on the bottom of the toy that contacts the base–it’s waterproof. This makes cleaning super easy and you could take your Form 2 in the shower. That’s not generally my preference, as the water tends to make vibrations seem subdued.

Other points of note include:

  • Form 2 is fairly quiet. Not as quiet as Siri but acceptable enough.
  • The manufacturing seems pretty high quality. The toy feels solid, it’s pretty seamless.
  • The silicone collects dust and smudges like crazy. Arg.
  • A lot of people have complained about some sort of feature/glitch. I haven’t run into it because I don’t spend a lot of time with toys that aren’t going to get me off.
  • Although I’m hoping my specific issues were self-contained, it seemed like Jimmyjane vibrators–especially those in the Form lineup–just tend to be glitchy as all get out.

I guess we’ll have to see how I feel about Form 2 in the future.

3 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Vanity by Jopen #5

May 11th, 2011

Vanity by Jopen #5

Vanity by Jopen #5
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item

Because I’ve already reviewed the Vr 6, I don’t want to rehash all the details. These two vibrators are quite similar, and you can read all the details here. The most important difference between the #5 and #6 vibrators in this line is the shape. #5 has a shorter clitoral arm (only .75″) that balloons out slightly and doesn’t angle toward the body like the arm on #6. In addition to this, the shaft bulges slightly, narrows, and bulges again. At the narrow point, there is a bit of flexibility, so you can angle just the head. The clitoral arm is also much more flexible than the arm on #6. The shaft retains about the same amount of length as #6 (4.25″), although #5 isn’t nearly as wide at any point. The widest point is a circumference of 1.25″ so it falls toward the smaller end of the spectrum. The head is slightly bulbous and more angular, for more precise G-spot stimulation instead of the broad pressure that #6 provides.

However, Vr5 is also a rechargeable rabbit vibrator, made of velvety fuchsia silicone. There are two motors that are controlled by separate buttons. California Exotics has used this button style before and I’ll remind you what I think about the way they function:

One push turns them on. Push and hold to increase intensity and push and release to turn it off. It’s similar to the Couture Collection wand I have. I can’t fault them because it works but I can say it kind of feels like they’re reinventing the wheel and that if you frequently use other toys that require you to push to get to the next setting, you may find yourself turning off the Jopen vibrators and this can be frustrating. Really, I like the style of the controls but I probably won’t be able to get used to them unless the entire sex toy industry adopts them.

Another difference is the location of the motors. In the Vr5, these vibrations are centered in the tip and mid-body, instead of directly in the clitoral stimulator. Thus, you get more internal stimulation with residual vibrations against the clitoris–if the clitoral arm even reaches yours. Unfortunately for me, that’s not really an option with the Vr5. Nevertheless, both vibrators I’ve had a chance to try have impressively strong and deep vibrations.

The claim is that this entire line is waterproof even though there’s no cover over the charging port, and it seems to remain open all the time. However, I’ve not had any issues with this and other reviewers have even submerged their Vanity by Jopen vibrators while turned on with no ill effects. Cleaning is a breeze, with soap and water; although the material does collect lint. You can minimize it by storing this in the Jopen pouch that comes with every toy in the line. It’s large enough for the charging adapter, but I found the bag so big it’s unwieldy. I wouldn’t mind something a wee bit smaller.

Sadly, I prefer the shaft design of the Vr5, even though I probably would have been more apt to pick the Vr6 as a customer. Unfortunately, the short clitoral arm would just never work for me.

CEN Sexpert

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Love Bunnies

May 10th, 2011

Love Bunnies

Love Bunnies
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item

Some bunny loves me.. but it’s not one of the Love Bunnies. I requested to review these tiny vibrators from Babeland because they’re absolutely adorable. I didn’t know if they’d get me off but tis the season for bunnies and bright colors and all that bollocks.

So the Love Bunnies come in a super colorful box. It’s reminiscent of a child’s toy and you may even want to keep it out of your kid’s line of sight because of the design. While fun, it’s sort orf confusing. To add to the fun, the package comes complete with an “Official Adoption Certificate.” Lovehoney’s packaging is amazingly detailed with this product and I almost want them to come out with actual children’s toys.

The colorful Love Bunnies vibrator sits in a plastic holder inside the box against a brightly colored backdrop. The bunnies themselves are pretty straightforward. A tiny bullet vibrator sits inside a bunny shape—complete with ears and tail. You have to uncap and remove a paper tab before you can use the Love Bunnies. There’s a single push button for the single speed. I found that it likes to stick, so sometimes I have to press it twice or more to actually get it to work.

Of course, as any watch battery-powered toy, the vibrations are both weak and buzzy. They’re the type that I quickly become “numb” to after a short period. That is to say, I literally cannot feel them after a few minutes. This is a shame because the roundness of the Love Bunnies actually stimulates me in a way that I find quite enjoyable. You may prefer to surround your clit, nipples or other sensitive parts with the ears but I like round shapes and pressure rather than pinpoint stimulation. The Love Bunnies actually provide both, unlike some other novelty vibrators (coughIRubMyduckiecough).

What disappointed me even more was that, as I used the Love Bunnies vibe for the very first time, the batteries died–maybe 20 minutes in. As these type of batteries can be difficult and pricey to obtain, that’s definitely a major drawback. I toss toys that require specialty batteries or suck them dry into a drawer, rarely to be touched again.

Washing up was easy enough, although I don’t know if these vibrators are supposed to be water—or splash-proof. There’s very little information in the packaging. As I began to type this, I didn’t even know what the Love Bunnies were made of—silicone, as it turns out—but this information is sneakily printed on the bottom of the box.

So while cute and silicone, easy to use, and packaged quite nicely, the Love Bunnies best get to hoppin’. They just don’t cut it.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Jopen Vanity Vr.6

April 28th, 2011

Jopen Vanity Vr.6
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I first ran across the Vanity by Jopen line a few months back. I was intrigued. Cal Exotics has really been trying to bring higher quality items to the market, and while it was good to see that from one of the big five (four?), none of the products I’d tried really caught my interest. While better designed, they all lacked power. So, while I was intrigued, I tried not to set my expectations too high because I’d been disappointed before.

Let me get straight to the point: Cal Exotics has finally gotten it right in terms of power. The Jopen Vanity Vr.6 has vibrations that show both great strength and depth. The vibrations are deeper than Lelo’s Ina, for example. For me, this means I don’t have to adjust them too much to find the right setting, and my G-spot responds ridiculously well. When I turn on both functions, each with their own motor, it’s a damned experience. A++++ as they say on Ebay. Of course, no toy is really whisper quiet. You can hear this one, although I can’t say it operates at an unacceptable volume level.

And turning them on is really easy. Cal Exotics has created two simple buttons. One push turns them on. Push and hold to increase intensity and push and release to turn it off. It’s similar to the Couture Collection wand I have. I can’t fault them because it works, but I can say it kind of feels like they’re reinventing the wheel and that if you frequently use other toys that require you to push to get to the next setting, you may find yourself turning off the Jopen vibrators and this can be frustrating. Really, I like the style of the controls, but I probably won’t be able to get used to them unless the entire sex toy industry adopts them.

Design-wise, the Jopen is attractive but not stunning. I still prefer the look of Lelo toys. The Vr6 is a bit boring with its all-over color, but I have to say that, in person, it’s a lovely shade of fuchsia that just doesn’t show up very well in pictures. It’s slightly more pink/red than the images show and is more attractive. It’s still purple, and that’s still majorly overused in sex toy design, but it’s an interesting sort of purple.

I usually yell at people who do not explicitly spell out what a toy looks like in their review, so the Jopen Vr6 is a rabbit vibrator with a shape similar to the Lelo Ina. The clitoral arm curves toward the boy while the shaft curves upward toward the G-spot. The shaft is quite thin but grows into a bulbous animal at the end. It’s a pretty typical design in terms of contemporary rabbit vibrators.

As I mentioned, the all-over color is due to the pure silicone exterior of the Vanity by Jopen line of toys. Like any claim of seamlessness, this isn’t quite the case. You can see it and feel it with your hand–although, not in use. It’s not one of those seams that’s going to let water in, however. In fact, California Exotics claims 100% waterproofness despite the fact that you still plug the AC adapter into a port on the back of the toy. The port is snugly surrounded by silicone that retains shape after removing the charger, like some of the newer Lelo toys. To be honest, I never play with toys in the shower, but I’m pretty messy when I clean them, so as long as a toy holds up to soap and water, I’m fine.

Speaking of silicone, the texture on this one is velvety and, yes, attracts lint more than my couch during shedding season (that’s now boys and girls!). It feels nice to the touch, offers a bit of drag which could be a pro or a con for some.

I haven’t mentioned how this performed for me, because, well, it sucked. California Exotics has finally created a quality toy that I want to love and I just can’t. The specific design of the Vr6 just doesn’t sit right in my body. The shaft struggles for space, against my pubic bone, in my vagina. The bulbousness, the length, and the angle all seem to be wrong for me, even though the numbers (1.5″ diameter and 4.25″ insertable) are not intimidating. It’s pretty run-of-the-mill. Yet, I can’t even fully insert this and because I can’t fully insert it, the clitoral arm comes nowhere near my clitoris. It just pinches against my pubic bone on the outside. So, really, they could call this the “Destroyer of Adriana’s Pubic Bone” and be right on the money. Nevertheless, I have long suspected that my bone sits at a unique angle and, perhaps, pokes out a little further into my vaginal canal, so I suspect that most will not have that problem.

One thing I am happy to announce is the Cal Exotics is slowly introducing better packaging. The white box is simple and the logo may not be that impressive but it’s not a giant, plastic box that cuts you and breaks open during shipping. The company has also included a storage pouch with this vibrator. A gigantic, stretchy pouch that I could probably stuff one of my cats in. It’s huge. A little overkill, to be honest. There’s almost so much fabric as to be unwieldy.

So, hats off to some great improvements. Overall, the Jopen Vanity Vr.6 is a pretty fantastically functioning toy, but be sure to take your time when picking out the vibrator that’s right from you in this line. They all seem so similar, but I’m willing to bet those subtle differences have an astounding effect.

6 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

JeJoue Mimi

April 16th, 2011

MiMi Vibe in Rose

MiMi Vibe in Rose
from

You can get the newer version of JeJoue’s Mimi with rumbly vibrations on sale here.

JeJoue’s Mimi is a fine-looking toy, and because I am attracted to all things (and people) pretty, it’s a significant part of the reason I requested to review it. This tiny, triangular-esque vibrator reminds me a lot of Lelo’s Lily. It’s smooth and flat-ish, made of plastic and silicone and uses an awesome magnetic charger. I’m really into the magnetic chargers. I can’t break a toy with them, like I did my We-Vibe. I digress. MiMi’s tiny size makes it perfect for using between bodies or even tucking in your panties. It seems like most retailers are marketing this as a couple’s toy and I think its strength definitely lies in that application. It’s not intimidating in the least and doesn’t resemble a penis. It’s super easy to use and could potentially fit in the palm of your hand for a traditional massage.

I can’t say anything bad about it except, perhaps, that it isn’t cat-proof. Mine has teeth marks in it. They fucking love silicone. What the hell, man? I digress.. again.

So, during solo use, I found the MiMi to be pretty good at pinpoint stimulation, but I tend to like something a little more general and with more pressure. This is the type of vibrator in which the silicone is silky smooth but covers a rock-hard form, so pressure feels a little sharp. It’s super easy to use, though. Plus and minus buttons on the one edge. Those same buttons serve as the contact points for the magnetic charger. While charging, there’s a red light. I almost missed it at first cause I had it upside down.

The vibrations are not mind-blowing. They’re what I’d call medium-buzzy. Your hand won’t fall off or tickle to death but they lack real depth. The result of this is that I do not particularly enjoy the escalation or pulsation. It’s not dramatic enough for me. There’s also a sort of rattly whine as the toy is on, probably due to a digital motor. I’ve experienced this before. Sound-wise, MiMi could use a reduction, I think. While no one may be the wiser, it just seems a little loud for its size and strength. At its lowest setting, MiMi is louder than Siri’s highest setting. It;s mostly due to the rattling sound.

MiMi is well made and I’m sure it will last you a lifetime but you shouldn’t get it if you already own something similar or like strong, deep vibrations. If you’re looking for something subtle, easy to use and completely non-intimidating for partner play–and can justify the price–MiMi will probably do just fine.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

L’Amour Passion “G”

April 14th, 2011

L’Amour Passion "G"
N/A

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Can I be honest here?

Cal Exotics should take a cue from some of the boutique companies that make few toys but make them well. CEN just keeps pumping out toy after toy and I can’t even tell them apart anymore. The L’Amour “G” is highly reminiscent of the Couture Collection, and the name is a mouthful and a bitch to search for on their site. In short, there is absolutely nothing remarkable about this vibrator unless you count fact that it uses 2 AAs rather than AAAs.

The box and website describe a “[c]ontemporary intimate high quality massager” that features seven functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation while remaining quiet. The functions are easy to use: one button is a dedicated power switch, while the other cycles through the settings. A light appears by the buttons when the toy is on to help you see but why it is red is beyond me. A nice white would better match and appeal to my sense of aesthetics.

In terms of shape of size, it’s a rounded, typical insertable vibrator. There are some grooves that run lengthwise to offer additional stimulation but sort of just look like the mold was mis-shapen. The plastic base and buttons are white with silvery details. The shaft is straighter than some might like; although, the silicon offers some flexibility. Of course, those you like firm G-spot stimulation might find that to be a hindrance to their enjoyment. The L’amour Passion G is 6.75” in insertable length, with a 1.5” diameter. It’s a decent, mid-sized vibrator that isn’t overly intimidating. The soft blue is also quite welcoming in appearance.

Like every other CEN toy I’ve ever seen, this one is waterproof. That usually doesn’t win me over, though. I’m not much for playing in the bathroom but if you are, this might be a plus. This is also a characteristic that all the non-rabbit, L’amour vibrators seem to share and none of the shapes are necessarily varied enough that I would recommend one over the other. Like every other vibrator, CEN states this is quiet. Whisper quiet? I think not. You don’t need to hold it to your ear to hear it. Will it wake the neighbours? No but.. eh.

The price point for this entire line also seems ridiculously high. For such a basic piece, I couldn’t really recommend this, especially to someone who’s just getting into sex toys. For a few more bucks, you can get something rechargeable by Fun Factory.

Maybe I’m just super jaded but the L’amour Passion G is just utterly forgettable. I don’t see why California Exotics needs two lines of remarkably similar silicone vibrators.

CEN Sexpert

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.