Uberlube

February 8th, 2015

Uberlube
$19 from Good Vibes

Edit: I have since found that Uberlube works pretty well with wooden dildos, which for some reason, do not seem to work well with water-based lubes. And since Uberlube is a pure silicone product, it’s good even if you keep it on the shelf for more than three years!

It must be hard being silicone lube in my possession. First, it sits on my counter or my table for a few days. Days turn into weeks, and the lube makes its way into my bedroom. There, it sits on my dresser before taking months to move to my nightstand, where it will sit a while more until I can think about using it.

You see, it doesn’t matter if you’re nice and slick, perfect for partner vaginal or anal sex. Long-lasting doesn’t matter. A lack of stick is just great.. someone else. Silicone lube can be compatible with most of my toys and all condoms, and it can come in a cute pump bottle that’s also made of glass. An ingredient list that’s short and easy to pronounce should be something that I approve of. But none of that just really matters.

At the end of the day, silicone-based lubes get the short end of the stick because they feel so artificial to me. There’s no way around it. Water-based lubes are shorter lasting and become sticky as they dry, but it feels closer to my natural lubrication. It’s more natural feeling, less like a plastic bag in my vagina.

So, you see, UberLube didn’t have a chance. Umlaut and everything, I still wasn’t swayed. It was just another silicone-based lube that will likely collect dust because I don’t particularly care for that type of lube. I don’t like how it feels inside me, on my hands or on my toys despite how often and long I’ve washed them.

And while the pump bottle is cute, it’s also not travel-friendly because it could break and there’s no way to lock it. And $19 is far more than I would spend on any bottle of lube. If I was a die-hard silicone lube fan, I’d probably recommend a lube like System Jo for Women, which is a hair more affordable. If you’re really interested in Uberlube, Good Vibes does sell travel sets, which cost $16 each, but the other silicone-based lubes offer a more competitive price.

2 Comments

Categories: Lube, Reviews

Lelo Siri 2

January 27th, 2015

Siri 2
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. Lelo now makes the Siri 3.

If you were to look at Siri 2 without the original to compare, you’d think they were exactly the same design. This isn’t exactly true. Siri 2 is a little sleeker, for example. Perhaps to make it less obtrusive during use with a partner. Siri 2 is completely waterproof, though. Bonus if you like shower masturbation, but you’re definitely not going to get use out of the sound-response feature in the shower.

The silicone on Siri 2 also feels more plush and smooth to the touch. Although, this isn’t something I really noticed in use. Siri 2 is just a hair shorter from tip to tip, and the silicone tip is a bit more pointy than the original. But these are all minuscule changes that neither enhance or detract from the design of the original. I do like my Siri 2 in black, but you have to choose from pink or purple if you don’t like black.

Unlike Lelo’s other sophomore vibrators, Siri 2 is noticeably stronger than the original. However, the increase in power also comes with an increase in vibration frequency, so it feels buzzier. I can deal with a vibration that’s a little weaker but more rumbly. It’s part of the reason why I still love my Layaspot. However, the buzzy vibrations of the Siri 2 could be improved upon. I’m not sure they’re a deal breaker.

Although.. the weird music-inspired settings of this clitoral vibe aren’t really doing it for me. I’m not a fan of those extra modes at all, so I’m a bit surprised that I like even one of them. However, there’s something about a steady pulsation that seems preferable to me than these musical vibration modes, which don’t have quite the right rhythm to keep my clit interested. And let’s be honest, the description is pretty pretentious, too:  classical, reggae, rumba, folk, hip hop, soul, techno, and jazz. Uh, okay. Right.

But maybe that’s not why you’re looking at Siri 2. You want to know about how a vibrator can interact with sound because that sounds (pun intended) interesting at the very least. You want to know if it’s a feature worth adding to a toy to begin with let alone buying as a consumer?

Well. Nah. Not really.

Let’s back up. This vibrator “listens” to sounds. It can be any type of sound as far as I can tell. For example, blowing on it will cause it to respond. So will singing and moaning.. if you’re in the right position. You see, the microphone or whatever-it-may be exists at the end where the charting port it. Tapping the port is enough to get the vibrator to respond.

But the sound needs to be close enough to Siri 2; otherwise? Nada. So while I was trying to use it and sing or moan, it couldn’t pick me up.  I don’t particular masturbate to some sound. Although, I happened to have my earbuds on the nightstand next to me, so I gave it a test. I cannot begin to describe how awkward this was, but I can tell you that all my awkward effort was for nothing. Even with sound on max and my earbuds right next to Siri 2, it couldn’t pick it up.

Now, this might work if someone was using it on me and their mouth was closer to the toy, but it makes the function pretty much useless if you’re using it solo. And the argument could be made that you should pop in your favorite CD or log on to a porn site and turn up your speakers. Indeed, those background noises might even drown you out but it doesn’t even work. I have to turn my laptop on maximum and hold Siri 2 right next to my speakers to get it to respond. I don’t think my neighbors like that, folks.

It’s weird. When Siri 2 does manage to respond to sound, there’s a delay. I understand why this might be the case, but it’s altogether too distracting to find the perfect blend of volume and rhythm to get myself off when I know that simply using Siri 2 as a vibrator will work just as well. Plus, you can’t really recognize the “source” sound, anyway.

Original Siri (red) versus Siri 2

Original Siri (red) versus Siri 2

PLUS! Lelo’s 4-button configuration is really not the smartest way to go about this. It works fine for the steady vibration and music-inspired modes, but you have to simultaneously hold two buttons (either the + and – or the two arrows, I forget) for 5 seconds to turn on the stupid audio-responsive mode, anyway. It’s finicky and clumsy and not something I’m going to bother with. Sorry not sorry. That extra button that you’ll find on Ora 2 and other Insignia vibes would have been a much better option to control this additional setting, but I do understand that Lelo would have to redesign the control pad to

So while I have plenty of negatives to say about Lelo’s newest Siri, I will probably keep it charged for use. Because it is a more powerful version of a vibrator that I’ve already come to like, and the form factor works pretty well if I’ve got another vibe or dildo inserted. In fact, I really enjoyed using it in conjunction with Lelo’s Mona Wave, another new-ish vibe that I’ll be reviewing shortly.

However, that’s not what Lelo wants us to focus on. It’s not the selling point, and I’m not sure if you can be sold when there are other alternatives for less than $100 that aren’t as frustrating and gimmicky!

7 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Lelo Ora 2

December 18th, 2014

Ora 2
$159 from SheVibe

Let me just start with this “Fuck the haters.”

Seriously. Fuck the haters.

Lelo’s Ora “oral sex simulators” won’t work for everyone. But I like it. And I think some of you will, too. So I’m going to write a review heralding the positives because someone has to do it. And I, brave sex toy review readers, am that someone.

I don’t want to sing blind praises. There is some fair criticism of Ora 2 and what Lelo has been doing lately.

Yes, it’s dumb for the second version of a toy to come out less than a year after the original. Lelo should have tested more and come out with this instead of the original Ora, which I felt lukewarm about at best. It may very well be that Lelo is focusing on quantity over quality lately, but I liked few toys of theirs, even when they took longer to release them. The ratio seems about the same. So whatever.

No, I don’t think that hole in the design is awesome and I never have. It barely fits two fingers, and even then, they’re not in a position for the rest of my hand to operate the toy or apply pressure the way I like. And this silly plastic ring is like a magnet for the kind of shit that you should only see in a petri dish, I am sure.

Yes, Lelo’s packaging is only impressive the first half dozen times around. It’s almost completely useless after I take a toy out of the box, and I’m sick of ripping the damned foam innards to shreds to recycle it.

And, no, Lelo didn’t know what they were doing with that stupid banker toy. Like, what the fuck, guys?

But Ora 2 is an improvement over the original, whether that original was tested enough or not. While the original was a good idea and an improvement on toys like Sasi, which had already attempted to simulate oral sex for a woman (and a toy that I liked.. while it worked), it wasn’t good enough in real life that I could recommend it, especially at its high price tag.

Lelo has changed very little with the Ora 2. Size and shape are essentially identical. They’re probably using the same molds for many of the parts. But the company has increased the size of the rolling ball that provides the clitoral stimulation and made it protrude more, which equals greater and more consistent contact.

And I like it. It feels closest to receiving oral than any other toy. It makes me feel a little less shitty about boys who break my heart and being single and fuck-less. Because, hey, this feels pretty good. At least I have this.

There’s another change that I find to be an improvement, and that’s Lelo’s SenseTouch technology. After pressing the button to activate it for 5 seconds, the toy will respond to how hard you press it against your skin. It’s really sensitive, which is a boon. You can barely brush your skin, and it turns on. If you’re like me and you enjoy grinding against things, this will crank it up to maximum. If you have the right body type, you could hold this in between your thighs for hands-free stimulation, although you won’t get precise control this way.

I guess this was a feature of the Smart Wand, and I didn’t notice. Oops. But it makes much more sense with how I use Ora.  The general design of the mobile ball and how it’s situated within this vibrator also works for pressure and grinding, which are my favorite parts of oral, by the way. It creates a little platform against my vulva, and I can grind until I’m panting and cumming and covered in sweat.

Maybe that’s not for you, though. If you want to use a separate toy internally at the same time, you’ll probably find Ora to be bulky. Indeed, the shape could be improved. As I mentioned, the hole doesn’t make sense functionally. It’s more about form. My hands still wind up cramping because of this. Bummer.

The vibrators that go with Ora 2 aren’t anything like the Hitachi, but considering the source, they’re fairly deep and strong enough. Acceptable. Better than the Smart Wand with its gigantic size.

I am worried that the battery life is a little low. Because I like Ora 2 so much, I’ve been using it for around the full hour per session, which means I will have to charge it every time. Get on that, Lelo.

And I’d like the track the ball moves on to be smaller and tighter. I’d get more direct clitoral stimulation while holding Ora 2 in place if this were the case.

Really, though, the improvements that Lelo has focused on make a serious difference. Perhaps the Ora 3 will be perfect if Lelo ever makes it. For now, I’m happy enough for Ora 2, and I seriously recommend you give it a shot if..

  • You liked Ora but would have liked some of these improvements
  • You enjoy oral sex
  • Pressure and grinding are important to your masturbation style

Maybe you’ll want to wait for a sale, because $160 – $180 is certainly a lot for a toy that you may not love.

8 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Tantus Silicone Fantasy Gag

December 7th, 2014

Tantus Silicone Fantasy Gag
$36.99 from SheVibe

My track record with Tantus toys hasn’t been so great. While others will rave about the dildos, strap-ons, cock rings and anal probes, I’ve felt a lot like Goldilocks. They were too big or too small, too hard or too soft. Whatever it was that I was looking for, I hadn’t found it.

To this date, I have liked — and kept — only a single Tantus dildo. This means I’ve been a sex toy fairy for some friends, but that I don’t recommend the company like others do. You see, the silicone is awesome. Some of the colors? Amazing! But I don’t think the textures and density are much for me. I prefer Vixen by far.

Similarly, I haven’t had much luck with gags. I have a rather small mouth. My dentist will confirm this, so I need a smaller gag. In fact, the actually balls don’t work that well, and neither did the one bar-style gag that I tried. Although, that one was pretty cheap.

For a while, I had my eye on the tiny cock gag. It’s cute, and it’s not perfectly round. Better for my mouth? I thought so. Plus, it’s made of silicone because it’s by Tantus. I’ve seen similar design made from PVC, but even if I didn’t care about cleanliness, who wants that smell/taste in their mouth? Add in leather, and I’m sold.

When I got this gag, I removed it from the package and separated the leather strap to wash just the gag part. Because you can do this, you can boil or spray with bleach to sterilize.

I immediately noticed that the silicone retained the smell of the leather, however. This is from being packaged with the leather in an airtight package. I like leather, but the smell/taste in my mouth was overwhelming, so I would definitely recommend a thorough cleaning and letting this air out before you use it. You’ll want to quickly move this from cleaning to use because the shiny silicone picks up every bit of lint, as you can see from my photo!

You’ll always want to remove the straps for cleaning. They’re not waterproof, but the directions say you can wipe clean with a damp cloth and treat with leather conditioner. I’ll be honest, I’m really bad with my leather goods. Oops!

Once it’s ready to use, it’s easy. The straps slide through holes on either side of the silicone cock and snap shut. The fit is secure, so I had to use two hands to do this. If you want the “pretty” side of the snap to show, make sure it’s facing away from the gag. The Velcro is long enough that you can adjust the size of the gag a bit.  You’re going to get a maximum circumference of about 25 inchs and can shrink that to 20 or 21 inches if you want the Velcro to remain secure.
The gag secures behind your head with velcro. This will keep it in place, but I did struggle finding the perfect position so that the straps wouldn’t slide. When I tried to tighten it or pull it too high on the back of my head, it definitely triggered my gag reflex because it fills more out of your mouth than many styles of gags.

However, unlike those gags, you could comfortable keep just the silicone portion in your mouth without needing to be restrained thanks to the contoured head. I was able to easily and comfortably wrap my teeth around those ridges. You could insert all the way to the base, but my throat will need some stretching before that happens. Like I said, my mouth is pretty small, so the 1.5-inch length feels pretty big to me. I noticed that this was definitely a drool-inducing gag if you’re into that!

In fact, this might not be a good beginner’s gag because of the size and depth. The Fantasy gag itself is about 1.75 inches wide at the largest point, one of the ripples. However, the tapered head is less wide, and the design isn’t perfectly round. The shape is quite like a butt plug, to be honest. You could probably use it for one if you wanted.

This is a solid basic gag that’s different from every other gag on the market. I do think there is room for improvement. For starters, it would simply be cool if the gag attached to the straps via O-ring like a strap on. Secondly, I’m not sure Velcro is the most secure option. The style with D-rings offers more adjustments when it comes to size and might be better at not catching your hair, which I noticed happened  pretty easily.

Small mouths aside, this is probably my favorite gag to date, though!

4 Comments

Categories: BDSM, Reviews

The Girls Bestie Vibe

November 10th, 2014

Bestie
$90 from Good Vibes

reviewer’s remorse

noun

1.

overwhelming regret upon using or opening a sex toy for the first time and knowing instantaneously that there’s no way you can like it — and you can’t even send it back for a refund because it was free!

2.

theme of this post

Let’s set the stage shall we? I am so excited for new brands that sometimes I let my excitement get the best of me. I forget to check all-important stats such as length or girth or, God forbid, power source! of a toy. Or I forget that I really don’t like clitoral stimulators shaped like bunny ears. You can guess which one I am guilty of this time.

Yes, the bestie has silly bunny ears. Yes, the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, so those ears wind up.. offending my clit. It’s not a powerful barrage. It’s not over-stimulating. It’s simply the wrong kind of stimulation. My clit is offended, okay?

If you like bunny ears fluttering over your clit, then maybe yours won’t be offended, but I’m pretty terrible at guessing these things.

Bestie’s charging base reminds me a lot of the ones that comes with the Form 3 and Form 3. The rounded butt sits in it. However, there’s actually a plug on the base that inserts into the port. I slightly prefer this because it means that it won’t fall off my nightstand and go rolling across the floor. Or that my asshole cats can’t run off with it like they’ve been doing with my Yooo.

Anyway, A green light flashes while it charges. The soft silicone area around the charging port lights up blue when it’s in use, but the button doesn’t light up. It’s raised and embossed, so you won’t have any issues finding it.

The vibrations are both incredibly buzzy and whiny, and Bestie provides you with three incredibly buzzy levels of steady vibes in case you weren’t sure how offended your clit would be to start with. There’s a buzz-buuzzz mode,  and a pulsation that sounds like it’s an alien trying to communicate with us and a fast pulsation leading up to a slower pulse. The laughable vibrations aren’t enough to make these feel good, however. Plus, the weird noise is sooo distracting. It’s not loud, but it’s at a specific pitch that makes me want to punch someone in the junk.

I guess I think it’s cool that Vibratex has moved away from shitty toys like the Rabbit Habit, of which I broke two when I was 18, and to rechargeable silicone toys. But these are only splashproof and far overpriced for vibrations that literally feel on bar with watch-battery-powered bullets to me. Most of their battery-powered toys rely on AAAs, which I never ever like. When compared to the Magic Wand Original, which they know make, it’s obvious these toys represent the extremes with no middle ground. Boo!

And while Amie might have been a better shape for me — it’s similar to the Minna Limon — I’m sure I would still find myself underwhelmed by the power. The Limon is just $29 more. It’s expensive but well worth it in my opinion. If you’re looking for something under $100, the We-Vibe Tango at $80 is your best bet. I haven’t used the newest model, but I still rely heavily on my original Tango. I still fucking LOVE my Siri, and the Leaf Spirit also costs less than $100 at Good Vibes.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Svakom Leslie

October 18th, 2014

Svakom Leslie
$175 from Svakom

So let’s talk about the shape. Leslie is a gently curved vibrator that will provide subtle G-spot stimulation. It has no hook a la Ella or Gigi, so you’re not going to get intense stimulation of your G-spot. The silky smooth silicone feels quite nice in my hand.

Yet, it’s not the shape or size of this toy that is its main appeal. Leslie is a self-heating vibrator that has the ability to raise temperature on its own and either in combination with or separately from vibrations.

A separate button enables you to turn on this function, which in and of itself isn’t that impressive. I don’t think I’d ever use Leslie without vibrations is what I mean. There’s a very gradual increase in heat, so you’re not worrying about burning yourself. At its warmest, it’s supposed to get up to 104 degrees F (40 C). If you’re just letting it test for curiosity’s sake, you’ll definitely feel the heat!

I would hazard a guess that some people wouldn’t feel it that much when used internally, however. I like it, though. Paired with the vibrations, I feel like this is a solid vibrator. There are 5 different modes:

  1. Continuous vibes (with multiple speeds)
  2. Escalation
  3. Pulsation
  4. Faster/stronger pulsation
  5. Fast pulsation

The manual lists 6 modes, but I’m not sure what the last one is. Perhaps heat? While the steady vibes aren’t too buzzy or weak. In fact, I really like them.

The four buttons on Leslie work in an interesting way. There’s a single button to turn on and off the heat, and there’s no way to control the specific temperature as far as I can tell. The control panel remains lit as long as heat as on, so you’ll never forget it. There is a “S” button that you press and hold to power on and off. It takes a few seconds to do this. There are also two arrow buttons. Pressing them once will cycle through speeds or strengths of the current setting while pressing it twice takes you to the next setting. It’s not difficult but it is different to use.

The build reminds me of other upscale toys and, like I said, I love the silky texture.  However, During some of the modes, I can hear an obvious rattle internally. This wouldn’t stop me from using Leslie, but it’s a sign that more work could be done and it’s distracting on the lower settings, when you can more easily hear it.

Leslie isn’t terribly loud, but the stronger modes do seem louder than I’m used to. I’d like to see the maximum noise output be equal to the quietest setting ideally.

Leslie is rechargeable via port on the bottom of the toy. It’s not covered like other toys, but Leslie is designed to be water resistant. I think that water would minimize the heating effect as I always find water distracting when in the shower.

Although there’s no serious G-spot hook, the shaft is curved slightly and large enough to feel filling thanks to the rigid inner core. Size queens will have to look elsewhere, however. With an overall length of just over 8 inches, Leslie offers about 6 inches for insertion until you’ll hit the buttons. The control panel is in an interesting position, by the way, on the side of the toy and running vertical. You could insert past the buttons, but you won’t be able to adjust the vibrator obviously. At its widest, Leslie is about 1.5″ in diameter. The tip of the shaft tapers for easier insertion.

On the other side is the Svakom logo, which matches in shape. There’s an LED light that shines through, which I never noticed before. It’s really not going to be something you can even see during use, but it is pretty.

Don’t be like me and use silicone lube with this toy. It’s a bitch to wash off.

At $175, this toy is more than luxury priced. If you are spending that much, I’m not sure if I would recommend Leslie unless you really want to try the warming function, and you have the expendable cash. I completely understand that this is more than just your typical vibrator, but the temperature aspect isn’t so remarkable that I would recommend Leslie to everyone. Some discerning buyers will definitely enjoy it, however! When buying directly from Svakom, you have your choice of plugs, which is awesome!

Leslie comes in black, white, wine red and purple. In person, the wine red is more of a deep raspberry. Pink haters beware!

You can take your chances and buy it for ~ $130 at Amazon. You can check them out at my affiliate store for under $150, too! There aren’t that many retailers selling Svakom products, but Leslie is definitely one that would do well in an upscale sex toy shop, I think.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Entice Emilia

September 23rd, 2014

Entice Emilia
$58.96 from Of Sex and Love Store

CEN’s Entice line is attractively designed. Sleek boxes and toys that come in purple or pink silicone with clean lines attracted my eye. I opted to try the Emilia. It’s a dual stimulator that’s almost-but-not-quite a rabbit. While I may have loved rabbits once upon a time, they’re not a favorite of mine anymore.

I actually first tried the Emilia externally. This was where I found myself curious about the flexible neck of the shaft. It’s not exactly floppy, but it’s not good for pressure that I like externally. This also isn’t going to make it a good thrusting toy internally, and while it’s not as difficult to use as the Dorcel vibe, I would prefer a more rigid shaft.

The shaft is also pretty small, so this might be a good toy if you’re not into gigantic insertables. I do tend to like something larger, however. The specs measure it as 1.25 inches in diameter. This is actually the max with at the toy closer to the edge of the shaft. It’s gradually thinner toward the neck, where it’s flexible.  I don’t typically need a pronounced head to get G-spot stimulation and the curve of the shaft was almost perfect.  This might not be the vibe for you if you do like a ridged head that you can’t possibly ignore.

Similarly, the tiny clit protrusion is just a fraction of the length of your typical rabbit. Unless your clit basically dances right at the edge of your vaginal opening, it’s not going to provide direction stimulation. This might be okay if you like general stimulation. The curve of the toy did seem to hug me almost perfectly.

It seems like CEN had some trouble with the two motors. Perhaps My Emilia is defective, but there’s a distinct rattle as though the housing isn’t tight enough around the inner workings.  While I’m use to the first settings being steady vibration, this isn’t the case with Emilia. The first setting is both motors, the second is just the clit stim motor and the third is just the shaft vibration.

This is followed by a fast pulse in both motors, a surprisingly deep escalation pattern and a back-and-forth escalation between the two motors. The last setting is both motors going steady. It seems to be stronger than the initial mode in the cycle. Fortunately, it returns to this first mode when you turn it off. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to describe the settings at all. They’re in some crazy order that makes no sense. The two modes where both motors are vibrating continuously should be right next to one another. And there’s no helpful material. The included instructions are generic for any sex toy and not the Entice line or the Emilia specifically.

All of this might you think that I dislike the toy. But to be honest, it was effective enough when used as anticipated to get my to squirt. I actually quite like the weird escalation setting, and some of the other settings seem to produce vibrations that are deeper than the steady vibes. There’s definitely some quality control issues, but this isn’t a terrible toy by a long shot. It even survived a silicone lube incident. My bad.

The shaft vibrations are fairly deep, but there’s a rattling of the housing that makes them seem buzzier than they are. The clitoral vibrations a deep, but any setting that uses both motors makes this less noticeable.

This is especially true when you consider the price. It’s less than $60 fro Sextoy.com. In fact, you can save 15% with code EMILIA15 when you buy it now.

Caveat: this toy is toy is touted as USB rechargeable. It comes with the cable and no AC adapter. You can find adapters for at cheap as a dollar at places like Walgreens, though. The real nit I have to pick is the charging port access through the silicone at the base of the toy. Other companies have tried that shrinking-hole style. It’s especially frustrating with  Emilia because the hole seems slightly misaligned with the port beneath it. I have to find the right angle to get it to go in. With frequent use, I’ll be a pro, but I’m not sure how frequently I’ll use this.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.