This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

My first impression of the Alumina Revolve is that it’s heavier than I would have expected. I guess when I thought “aluminum” I was thinking something more along the lines of a soda can of aluminum foil but Tantus’ Alumina line is made from aeronautical grade aluminum so I guess it makes sense. After all, I’ve never seen an airplane made out of aluminum foil. That would be a very bad idea. Perhaps the very worst idea ever. (TM).

So the Revolve is heavier than I expected. Probably a bit weightier than a glass toy of a similar design but lighter than, say, the Pure Wand so it’s not quite as unwieldy. It doesn’t feel as unbalanced either, even though the Revolve isn’t symmetrical. The two ends of this metal dildo (one which I view as the intended handle) are almost the same length; the handle is just under 4″ long and the other end just over 4″ (for a total of 8.25″ in length) but are crafted quite differently. The handle is smooth and generally straight, widening to a bulb at the end while the opposite side has three bulbs which increase in size toward the O-ring which separates the sides. While the “handle” side is lighter, I think it would be more unbalanced if the bulbs increased toward the outside instead.

In terms of size, the largest bulbs on both ends are about the same size with a 1.5″ diameter. The smaller bulbs are 1.2″ and .95″ in diameter, respectively and, save for the middle bulb on the 3-bulb side, they’re all fairly found (the middle bulb is more elongated). As you can see, that’s quite the drop in size on both sides. Actually, I would say that’s one of the downfalls of the Revolve. When using the bulby side, I expected to easily feel the size difference, but once I insert this end up to the largest bulb, I literally cannot feel the bulbs when pulling it out. Maybe my vag is just a slow adjuster but they feel like nothing at all because the size decrease is so dramatic. So I could just not insert it that far but then the girth is lackluster. I could instead just try pressing the bulbs against my G-spot – it is a G-spotter after all – but I found it a bit difficult to do this with precision because the bulbs are so close.

All is not lost, however. I found the “handle” end to perform wonderfully for G-spot stimulation. The single bulb on the end, paired with the difference in girth – made finding and stimulating my G-spot to ejaculation a quick and easy job. For me, the simple end was simply better.

But it does leave me a bit disappointed because I thought this pretty, purple dildo (did I mention the deep sheen) would be a little more versatile. I expected it to do more, to have more options. Instead, I only find one side to really be useful. Of course, I could invest in more Alumina pieces to craft my perfect dildo and the fact that you can interchange the halves was originally was one of the things that attracted me to the line but then I’d essentially be paying twice the price (and the Alumina line is not cheap) to get a toy I love (if I could even find the perfect pairing). I’d much rather have a basic G-spot dildo that worked well but had no options.

Like all metal, the Revolve can easily be used for temperature play and I can’t argue the quality, here. The slick metal is easily inserted with only the tiniest amounts of lube and just as easy to clean. The aluminum is anodized to resist corrosion and water as well. There are no seams besides where the O-ring is. I know some have even said the O-ring adds some stimulation but I cannot comfortably insert the Revolve past that point. I’m also curious what the ring is made of. I’d guess silicone but the packaging doesn’t say.

In terms of packaging, the Revolve is cradled for a form fitting foam cutout inside a black box, detailed with silver text and logos. Some like to use it for storage but I’d rather have a small bag to save space. It could serve as a gift box, if you were so inclined because the Alumina Revolve does look quite nice nestled inside. Included with the dildo is a small informational sheet which repeats the text on the outside of the box and also depicts the entire Alumina Line (including Flow, Motion and Thrust).

I don’t hate the Revolve. I just don’t love it, you know? It just doesn’t call to me. Maybe it’s this specific piece because the people who have tried the Motion seem to love it. They can’t praise it enough. And Carrie Ann liked the Flow as well but that offers girth that the revolve doesn’t have, at least not consistently. There are only two points on the Revolve which offer any girth but even then, I’d say it’s only a medium thickness even despite the fact that such a material usually feels a bit larger than it actually is. I suppose that makes the Revolve relatively newbie friendly (just be cautious the nature of metal which can be a bit painful). But I’m not a newbie. I know what I want and need and half of the Alumina Revolve just isn’t it.

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Categories: Dildos, Reviews