My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

October 12th, 2011

My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Sometimes, toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder, “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager, nevertheless.

Wrong.

The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based on the Mini Miracle Massager, but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.

Mini Miracle Massager Probe AttachmentI tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a character with a cartoonishly large nose. While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkward, and the shape was less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.

I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation, but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. To align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen, so that was a no-go either.

My Mini Miracle MassagerI’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed, but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too. The knob itself is unfinished, so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.

California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager.

I’m not a fan of the detachable cord because it’s easy to mix it up with something else. If I can remove a cord, the toy should be rechargeable, which this isn’t. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is overly large, clunky and annoying.

Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Rhythm “O” – Bounding Bunny

October 5th, 2010

Rhythm "O" - Bounding Bunny

Rhythm "O" - Bounding Bunny
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

The Rhythm “O”™ – Bounding Bunny is.. weird. It’s weird looking and weird feeling and just plain ol’ weird. This rabbit vibrator comes in Barbie pink or a lavender shade of purple. I received the first color. The base, bullet, and internal mechanisms are all pink, with the shaft and clit stim actually coated in a clear layer of TPE so you can see everything through it. The TPE has a slight swirl design that I did not notice during play.

What you see looks like a corn cob. I’m not kidding. I’m not the only one who thinks so, either.

So these individual “kernels” of hard plastic are what California Exotics call pleasure beads, and they move in and out in a wavelike pattern. It’s similar to the Passion Wave, which I loved, but that used discs, instead. I didn’t love the Rhythm “O”™ – Bounding Bunny. In fact, I didn’t even like it. When it was inserted, I could feel it was doing something and that something did make me squirt but it wasn’t even remotely pleasurable. It was almost.. clinical.

For once, I was decently satisfied with the strength clit stimulator vibrations. Very few rabbits are decent in that sense. Unfortunately, the bunny is located a little further down the shaft–6″– than many rabbit vibes so the fit wasn’t quite optimum for me. I wound up taking the toy out to just rub the bunny against me. That’s super disappointing for a “dual” stimulator.

If you’re familiar with my tastes, then you will also know that I prefer toys with a bit of give. Beneath the TPE, which is a bit loose to allow room for the movements of the beads, the shaft is full of hard mechanisms. There really isn’t much give, and the 1.5” diameter of the shaft feels bigger than it is. This isn’t helped by the fact that the shaft is rigidly straight. Some rabbits have a flexible wire in the shaft so you can become more comfortable, but this isn’t the case with the Rhythm “O” – Bounding Bunny.

Function aside, the control is simply horrendous. I have complained about controls in the past, and I have also had no difficulty using CEN rabbits, but the Rhythm “O” – Bounding Bunny is just awful and the opposite of intuitive–whatever that is.

There are a total of five buttons. There is an “On/Off” switch that turns on or off just the bunny bullet. Below this is a button printed with the number “7” that pages through the settings. Next to these buttons is a single LED light that changes colour and flashes to correspond with the modes.

To turn on the shaft, you have to press a different pair of buttons. These buttons use the typical up/down arrow setup and shaft modes correspond to three vertical LEDs that are randomly displayed toward the top of the control pack (next to the bunny buttons).

My problem with this is that both functions would easily work if CEN decided to go with just the arrow mode or just the On/Off and mode button. This is all far too much to think about during use.

But, wait! There’s more.

California Exotics has included a “Hot” button that changes the toy (both functions) to a random setting. That’s actually kinda neat but I find most of the settings are too similar to make it effective.

As you can guess, there is no master Off button. You have to turn off both of the functions manually. This doesn’t help convenience or discrection, IMO. And if you’re really in a hurry, who the hell wants to have to turn on both functions separately? Not I. I like to be able to control them separately, but it’s like CEN just reusing buttons from other toys to make this monstrosity.

These digital buttons are set in a slick plastic base. I found it really difficult to hold when I was using silicone-based lube, which, as I have discovered, is compatible with TPE but not VixSkin.  CEN suggests water-based for use with this toy, for whatever reason. A velvety treatment to the base would make it easier to handle in slippery situations.

Despite washing this toy, I still find it difficult to grasp and remove the battery cover because silicone lube is stubborn like that. When you do unscrew the cover, there’s an EZ-load style battery pack for the 4-AAA batteries. The toy has an O-ring built into it, and I’d trust it to be splash-proof for washing or shower play; however, the cap isn’t as secure as some toys, so I wouldn’t advise submerging it.

For those of you who are interested, there’s a video on the California Exotics website that explains this all in depth. If you ignore the voice work, that is.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Make love to your long distance lover online

Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator

August 12th, 2010

Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator

Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I like throbbing things, especially throbbing body parts. Like a cock as it ejaculates inside of me or the spasms of my PC muscles during orgasm. Yet, throbbing is one of the few sensations that companies haven’t mastered. Throbbing toys have not saturated the market, so this vibrator really caught my eye.

Out of the box, the Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator is interesting. I noticed that the TPE seemed to be quite loose around the shaft mechanism. I mean, it’s not flopping around, but you can pinch some of the material away from the shaft, like looser skin. The movement kind of gives the feel of softness–when not in use.

The Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator has a straight, smooth shaft. The mechanism beneath the TPE gives the impression of ripples, however. The head of the toy is realistically shaped like the head of a cock. Oddly enough, the clitoral stimulator also has a penis head shape which is kind of creepy. It’s like the whole clitoral simulator is some sort of stunted penis. And then, there are two embossed heart designs toward the base o the toy and on the back of the clit stim. I have no idea what the theme is here but Doc Johnson missed the mark.

Still, I wanted this for its sensations, not the look. It’s not the tiniest toy, though. With a base diameter of 1.59″, it’s a medium-large size. You can use water or silicone-based lube with this toy. The design results in a maximum insertable length of 5.5″, which is pretty effective for the average size of vaginas. The clitoral stimulator is also quite long, extending almost 3″ from the shaft.

There are two buttons for each function (throbbing and clit vibration). The design deviates from the standard and isn’t visually appealing. Essentially, the throbbing function has a + and – buttons that also serve to turn the function on and off, respectively. These buttons are square and are labeled as “On” and “Off” which is confusing to me. The vibration function has a master On/Off button and a separate button to control the speed/mode. These buttons are round and oval, respectively. I don’t know why both functions don’t have comparable +/- button or a power and mode button–or a different setup altogether to provide a master “Off” button for the entire toy. I don’t know why there are different shapes. It’s very anti-intuitive, in my opinion.

So I insert the toy and turn it on. First, I try the throbbing because this is really the appeal and, boy, is it weird. The throbbing is actually expanding and contracting, which required the loose TPE that I noticed originally. It does this in a very quick succession, even on the lowest speed and, when the toy isn’t inserted, it makes a noise similar to skin slapping skin during sex. On the toy, it’s almost disgusting.

Sound aside, I just did not find the sensation wasn’t much like throbbing itself. Throbbing typically has vertical movement, too. It feels deep, rumbly. This toy does not. It just feels like something is growing larger and smaller, and all the speeds are too close together for there to be much build-up. This is not a sensation that stimulates my G-spot at all. And because rabbits are not intended to be thrusted (usually), this isn’t very versatile. Additionally, I find that the shaft mechanism feels really hard and solid. I prefer my insertables to be either hard or large–not both.

Externally, I was not impressed. The clit stimulator, while plenty long enough, offers little pressure. The vibrations are incredibly buzzy. I can barely tell the difference between the medium and high steady vibrations. The pulsation lacks any sort of oomph. The functions, when combined, really seem to work against one another. They don’t complement each other at all. I’m not surprised that I was unimpressed by the vibrations, however. This uses AAAs.

The toy takes 4AAAs altogether. They fit into a battery compartment that has an easy load-style pack, and the cap screws on over an O-ring, thus making this waterproof. Honestly, I’d think that the sensation of water falling on you in the shower would compete with the sensations that this toy provides, and I don’t advise it.

I am more than a bit disappointed with this toy. I really like the idea of a throbbing toy, but I think it needs to feel different from the violent, in-and-out slapping of the mechanism of this toy. Plus, I’m curious how easy it might be to break this. I’m almost intrigued enough by the function to cut off the TPE and see what’s going on beneath it. Almost.

Still, I commend Doc Johnson for thinking outside the box and creating something a little different.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe

July 19th, 2010

Janine's Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe

Janine's Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe
$33 from Pink Cherry

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Lordy, has it ever taken me forever to sit down to this review. If you didn’t guess from the name and picture, this rabbit vibrator is in Digital Playground’s line of Pirates-inspired toys. All of them are extremely artistic, and the thought that went into creation and design is really astounding. I’m not sure why the toys are out now (DVD release, maybe?) but it’s hard to miss them at any retailer.

So let me start by saying that Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe is heavy on the detail. The base is made of a hard, velvety plastic in a deep rosey pink. On either side is a “decal” featuring a stylized cross between two “ropes.” Around the top of the base, below where the shaft starts, are two rows of orange rhinestones.

And then there’s the shaft in a translucent pink TPE. The first third of the shaft, next to the base, has a stylized pirate skull embossed into it with some surrounding details. We are talking major texture here (although, this portion isn’t insertable with the clitoral stimulator being there and all). The clit stim is, literally, crafted to look like a cannon on a rolling platform with the barrel pointing toward the end the toy. It’s the barrel that will rest against the clitoris during use.The design is a little different from your typical rabbits and the clit stim extends about 1.25″ from the base. Although the sides and back of the cannon have some texture, the part that will actually touch the body is smooth, except for a single ridge that goes around the end of the cannon.

This portion of the shaft ends with an embossed “rope” that encircles the shaft. Then the TPE is smooth for about 1.75.” Behind this portion of TPE, the rotating beads sit and you can see them pretty clearly through the smooth TPE.

The last third of the shaft starts with another embossed rope and, above that, more texture can be found. The head of the shaft is curved, for G-spot stimulation, I’d guess, and stylized so it looks like the curved butt of those old-fashioned pirate pistols. There are swirly lines and a starburst-y pattern, among other textures. Now, don’t think about it too much because you’ll realize it makes no sense for this cannon vibe to have a handle like that and, even if it did, it shouldn’t be on that end. You see, you’d be shooting yourself. But, like I said, pay no attention to logic.

By this point, I’d be halfway done with most of my reviews. The reason I’ve spent so much attention on this detail is simply because there is a lot of it and it will effect your experience. I can’t say for sure whether it will be a negative or positive impact but this is the type of texture that you just cannot miss. I absolutely recommend using a fuckton of lube (water or silicone) with the Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe to ease insertion and prevent pain.

To add to the texture, this isn’t a tiny vibe. The girth around the smooth portion is 1.59.” It definitely has a decent size, and with the texture around the last third, the girth is probably even a bit larger. There are 4.5″ that you can insert but, I’ll be honest, I thought it felt like so much more. Perhaps because of the girth or texture or because the cannon barrel is shorter than most rabbit clit stims, but it was just so.. there.

Size-wise, I wasn’t really fulfilled. I say that playfully because I definitely was filled, but the size and curve of the shaft weren’t the best to reach my clit, nor was the clit stim super effective. The cannon barrel is a chunk of squishy TPE, so it doesn’t move like rabbit ears, nor can you really get a lot of pressure from it.

The vibrations were also a little lackluster, which I should have known. This will probably be the last toy I get that uses AAAs because they never satisfy me. This rabbit takes 4 (in an easy load type pack, the battery cap screws on, and there’s a prominent O-ring), but the output is just pathetic. When you push the power button, both functions turn on. The shaft and beads rotate simultaneously while the clit stim vibrates. There’s a single button to page through vibration modes (low, medium and high) but the vibes are so high pitched that all the steady modes feel pretty similar and the pulsation modes are nothing to write home about either. There are 7 vibration settings altogether.

The other button adjusts the speed of rotation, of which there are three speeds. There’s also two sort of pulsing rotation settings. That’s pretty unique but it’s overwhelmed by the vibration, size and texture in my opinion. I do not specifically recall if I could stop the rotation with my PC muscles but I wouldn’t doubt it, considering the source. I tend not to try it with larger or super textured toys, though, because it hurts.

The functions are interesting and I have a few thoughts about them. One, when you turn off the toy (with the master power switch), it takes a few seconds for the rotation to stop and it still makes noise while it’s stopping. That’s a bummer. Secondly, you cannot have just the vibrations or just the rotation on. Another bummer. It’s not ridiculously loud though. With both functions on the highest setting, it’s still much quieter than the Miracle Massager and it’s quieter in use, as the body absorbs some of the sound.

Like most rabbits, Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe is weight and lacks balance. I think the gobs of TPE used to create the details only adds to that, sadly. The long base (the toy is over 10″ long in total) on this one is a bit difficult to use with my short arms. I find that I have to pull the base upwards to grasp it well and this results in the shaft pulling away from any sensitive spots. This is something that frequently occurs with rabbits, however.

Just to cover a few basics, you can easily wash this one with soap and water but will have to carefully scrub around the texture. There is a storage bag included, but the shiny TPE tends to stick on the material during insertion or removal, so it’s not as practical as I’d like.

So, my final thoughts are like this: Digital Playground has created some really unique movie merchandise, but, like most movie merchandise, I feel like Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe would be better left in its box, on the mantel shelf than actually put to use. In fact, some true movie merchandise might have been more useful than sex toys.

7 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

lingerie

Best buy dolphin

November 3rd, 2009

Best Buy Dolphin

Best Buy Dolphin
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

No, this isn’t a vibrator that I bought at Best Buy, although some part of me simultaneously giggles and cringes at that idea. It’s CEN’s take on an affordable rabbit vibrator that is great for those looking into rabbits for the first time and also perhaps for folks who sometimes become overwhelmed by all the options rabbits can have. It’s not luxury, nor is it meant to be. It is simply.. the Best Buy Dolphin.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of things a vibrator can do. This was the case with Evolved’s Lunar Rabbit, which has hundreds of possible combinations, but it ultimately didn’t do anything of them perfectly. In my opinion, when a toy does a few things really well, it beats a toy that does many in a mediocre fashion – hands down. That is what the Best Buy dolphin aims to do, which makes it perfect for any rabbit newbies or anyone who is just plain sick of a million settings, none of which quite hit the spot. As usual, there are a couple glitches with that ambition.

There are only 4 buttons on this toy. One to turn on/off each of the functions and the other to adjust. For the rotating shaft and beads, this reverses the direction. For the vibrating dolphin clit stimulator, this changes from low to high and back. There are a few combinations, but it remains newbie-friendly. Of course, there are no pulsation or rollercoaster-type settings, either, so if your clit likes something a bit more exciting than steady vibes, look away. Per usual, the beads and rotating shaft work together and I would love to find a rabbit where the beads could be operated separately.

I was surprised at how well the rotation works. I think this is because the 4 rows of plastic beads rotate pretty fast, but this also makes a whining sound. Most rabbits freeze up under any sort of duress, but the beads actually hurt me when I clenched, and I had to ease up. On the one hand, they work pretty damned well; on the other hand, many people (including myself) tend to clench during orgasm so this can actually be a con.

In terms of vibration strength, I was unimpressed. The high is more like a medium and most vibrators and I usually don’t use the medium on most rabbit vibes. Neither setting did anything more than tingle. Furthermore, the dolphin-shaped clit stim just didn’t work for me. I found it to be a little short; only his pointy nose made contact and it actually hurt a bit.

I’m not surprised the vibrations were lackluster. The bullet seems to be quite small; although there is quite a bit of TPE material around it so the bullet looks larger. Furthermore, this is only powered by AAA batteries but is pretty quiet. Granted, it uses 4 of them but my experience is that I usually need at least 2AAs. The battery pack is also a little strange. It pulls straight out and pops back in, but there’s a screw that attaches the battery cap to the casing, which makes it seem like you might need to unscrew it. You don’t, it’s just misleading. Also, make sure it’s secure. It will turn on even if it’s not only to have the batteries fall right out.

As I mentioned, the shaft and clit stim of the Best Buy Dolphin are covered in a soft, blue TPE which is translucent. It’s very flexible and thin. I can actually pinch some off the shaft. I wouldn’t mind thicker material around the beads and thinner material on the clit stim to make it more comfortable. The shaft had water and wavelike textures while it also has 4 equidistant ridges (and is thinner than the shaft), but none of those textures are really effective.

TPE is both silicone and water-based lube compatible, and you’ll want to use it, not because the Best Buy Dolphin is huge (it’s respectably girthy at 1.75″ diameter at its widest) but because the TPE is so sticky, and this can cause friction without proper lubrication. I found the 5 insertable inches and girth to be pretty adequate myself. It also collects a lot of lint and dust, so popping on a condom isn’t a horrible idea to make the whole thing a little cleaner (plus it’s somewhat porous).

When it comes to cleaning off that lint and whatever fluids may have collected, soap and water should do the trick. However, I’d be reluctant to submerge this vibrator completely (whether playing or cleaning) even though it’s supposed to be waterproof, especially considering that the battery cap can pop off if it’s not secure. The cap just doesn’t seem as watertight as others California Exotics styles.

The Best Buy Dolphin is a pretty good option for those who are just getting into rabbits, but it isn’t anything amazing. The clitoral stimulator definitely needs more power and its shape was just no match for me. Although the beads rotated enough for me to squirt, no part of this toy was going to make me orgasm. For less than $30, you could do worse.

1 Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Better Than Chocolate

September 21st, 2009

Better Than Chocolate

Better Than Chocolate
$89.90 from Amazon

Let me preface this with a great big thank you to Babeland for allowing me to review this luxury vibrator. I believe I am one of only five reviewers who had the chance, and I definitely appreciate it. Also, pictures will be coming soon. Apparently, something broke.

Jumping right in, I think it’s appropriate to say that anything named Better Than Chocolate had better be leaps and bounds above comparable items if it wants to come anywhere near its claim. I mean, it’s freaking chocolate, right? So I had some pretty high expectations for this vibe by Nomi Tang. It had better look great, be presented well, have all the details covered, be hygienically superior, perform well (including features and ease of use), and do all this in a way that is obviously unique. Let me run down this list and show you how well the Better Than Chocolate did.

Appearance: It’s only right to start with appearance because this is what initially drew me and others to this ergonomic clitoral vibrator. I’m always interested in uniquely shaped clit vibes, and the Better than Chocolate definitely fits the bill. In fact, it is somehow reminiscent of Star Trek and I know I’m not the only one who thinks so. I know I’m going to miss the mark by trying to describe this toy but, from the top, it’s roughly diamond shaped – wider in the center and tapering at either end. From the side, you can see that the wider middle also curves upward and each side curves up more than the rest of the toy, in a wing-like shape, creating a perfect resting spot for your hand while the bottom curves around your pubic mound. If you look at the vibe from either end, it actually looks a bit like a king cobra.

In comparison to other similar vibes, Better Than Chocolate is much larger. It’s definitely wider (2.5″ at its widest), longer (just over 4″) and taller(just under 2.5″) than the Laya Spot (and some people already find that too large for use during sex, so take heed). Their shapes are generally similar but the lines on Better Than Chocolate seem to be more exaggerated. My understanding of Lelo’s Lily and Nea is that they are also much flatter and smaller than the Layaspot so if you’re partial to that size/shape, you might be in for a surprise when it comes to Better Than Chocolate.

The longer end boasts a thin, plastic-covered, white touch censor, which also adds to the Sci-fi appeal, especially when it lights up blue or red. The other end has a small indentation of the power symbol, like a computer’s power button, which clicks the toy on and off but doesn’t add much in terms of visuals.

Available in either fuchsia or blue, Better Than Chocolate is sure to please most.

Presentation and Detail: This luxury vibe is definitely presented well. It comes in a heavy white cardboard box, like Lelo’s boxes, with the Nomi Tang logo in maroon on top (the logo is also printed, smaller, tone-on-tone all over the box). The box flips open from one end like a jewelry box, and the vibe itself sits on a velvet-lined cardboard tray within the box, which adds to the jewelry box feel. The box is also velvet lined and has Nomi Tang printed on the inside top. As is, the box would serve as a nice giftbox, if you gift a Better Than Chocolate vibrator to someone.

Upon removing the vibe from the box and tray, you’ll see it comes with an instruction book, a storage pouch and a message from Nomi Tang printed like a mini greeting card. Like anyone, I’m a fan of storage and because this vibrator is unique, an instruction booklet is a must. Of course, the inventive controls are definitely unique and show care/effort on Nomi’s part. Nomi Tang definitely paid attention to detail with this one.

Hygiene and Material; The booklet says that the surface materials are TPE and polycarbonate. I assume the censor is polycarbonate (a type of plastic), while the rest of the surface is made of TPE. I’m not sure what this means in terms of porosity because the TPE just seems to be a coating over a hard (plastic?) shell but I wouldn’t consider Better Than Chocolate something you can sanitize completely. This also means that Better Than Chocolate is quite rigid. You’d cause some damage if you threw it at someone’s head.

Performance and Features: I was a bit nervous about Better Than Chocolate because it runs on only 2AAAs (and, wouldn’t you know it, I was fresh out). The power button end twists off easily and twists back on very securely, which is important for any waterproof toy (it is!).

One click of the power symbol easily turns on the Better Than Chocolate. It’s easily felt and heard and the “NT” symbol on the touch sensor lights up. It seems that this vibrator starts on its highest setting which might disappoint some because if you’re a glutton for power, the impression is not just a taste of what Better Than Chocolate has to offer; it’s it. I was fairly impressed with the strength of vibration on this one. It’s right up there with the Laya Spot and definitely makes better use of the batteries than many toys. On the other hand, the lower settings are something I’d never have use for.

The vibrations are rather high in frequency but don’t make my hand tickle uncontrollably when holding it. They are focused in the tip but can be felt, mildly, through the rest of the toy. Better Than Chocolate never operates at much more than a low hum which I think is perfectly acceptable.

On to what you all want to know! How is the touch censor? It’s okay. It takes some getting used to. I found that I wanted to press it like a button instead of hold and slide my finger over it but, once I got over that, I quite like it. The censor means you don’t need 8 buttons nor do you have to press one button 8 times. It’s a very efficient way to control a multi-setting toy and I wouldn’t mind seeing use of this type of control more.

When it starts, on high, slide your finger toward the NT symbol to lower the vibrations or do the opposite from low. If you want something other than steady vibrations, hold your finger over the NT until it switches modes. From what I can tell, there are 2 modes: steady vibes, low pulsation and high pulsation. The high pulsation is a very enjoyable, throbbing pulse that surprised me by its power. If you find a setting you really like, you can hold your finger over the opposite end of the censor for 2 seconds to lock it; the NT logo will change to red.

In practice, I thought it would make more sense to increase vibes by sliding toward the logo and I tend to forget this. Also, because it’s a touch sensor, your speed, mode, and even lock status can be changed if something touches the censor on the Better Than Chocolate. My panties, thighs, and blankets changed the settings at one point or another. I think it might have been slightly more logical to make an actual lock switch somewhere on the toy because it’s absolutely necessary with a control as sensitive as this.

Although I will likely not use this vibrator in much water, you can, up to one meter. So if you ever need to get off in the pool or the ocean, go for it. It also means you needn’t be extra careful with cleaning so soap it up all over.

In Use: I found that Better Than Chocolate was just too large, too long. It’s not bulky per se but isn’t palm sized, either. It didn’t fit over my mons as well as I would like so it wasn’t effortless playtime. I don’t see how it would work well during sex at all.

I also found that the vibrating end was just too pointed and hard. I need something a little flatter and wider to provide adequate pressure, but Better Than Chocolate only provides pain if I press. I tried the other end, but the vibrations were much weaker, and this wasn’t any better. On the other hand, I was able to partially insert this vibrator and I found that to be enjoyable. If you like to stimulate the first couple of inches of the vagina and the surrounding area, Better Than Chocolate succeeds there.

I definitely needed to adjust to this vibe rather than use it in my typical way. This also means using lube, which I don’t normally do with clit toys. The TPE is finished soap that it’s sort of velvety, almost feeling like fabric and this creates a lot of friction. But once I applied a dab of lube, it was easy to move the tip of the Better Than Chocolate over, under, and around my vulva and clit.

Payoff: Although I did achieve orgasm, it was difficult and long in coming. After the initial orgasm, however, the following ones were almost effortless and came quickly. When all was said and done, I did feel quite satiated.

Final Thoughts: Nomi Tang’s Better Than Chocolate vibrator is solid and quality but not better than chocolate. It’s unique and, although the touch censor has some way to go before it’s perfect, offers a viable alternative to other vibrator controls. Although it gave me satisfying orgasms, I’d like to see it in a smaller size and perhaps rechargeable. Only then would I consider it to be a truly “luxury” vibe and be able to recommend it whole heartedly, especially at its current price.
Better Than Chocolate Luxury Vibrator Better Than Chocolate Luxury Vibrator Better Than Chocolate Luxury Vibrator

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Symphony G-Harmony

February 25th, 2009

Symphony G-Harmony
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I want to say right away that I don’t think the Symphony G-Harmony is necessarily a bad toy.  After all, I did enjoy it as a clit stimulator, and when I managed to find that “sweet” spot, it felt really good. However, finding that spot was not something which came easily or often.

I was interested in this little purple gem because I wanted to explore my G-spot. I had only had clitoral orgasms before so I did a little searching. I thought that most of those long G-spot wands looked dorky and, as usual, my sense of aesthetic took over. I must say, in that respect, the G-Harmony is amazing. Its translucent purple TPR really is gorgeous and the wave-like ridges at the tip seem to really fit the name for some reason. Plus, the base reminds me of a gemstone. The way this G-spot vibrator catches the eye is almost breathtaking, and I think I might even like the way it looks better than all of the rest of my toys.

Evolved also provides this toy with its typical classy packaging (a fancy metal box) – this time in red with black accents. This works well for store,ge but I do find it to be a bit bul,ky so I wouldn’t use it with a toy I use frequently (it would make a good storage case for a number of other items inside the bedroom and out); unfortunately, I will not be using this toy frequently.

The first issue I ran into was that this toy is a little girthier than many G-spot toys. In application, I couldn’t twist and turn it any which way to perfect my technique (or lack thereof LOL). I couldn’t go from different angles; this pretty much remained in one position. Now, I like my insertable toys to be significant in size, and if I were looking for a basic vibrator, I might like this size. But it wound up hindering my G-spot experimentation. I already knew my body seems to be as fickle as my mind can sometimes be, and I would need to be able to feel about a bit to find the perfect spot, but I just couldn’t with this toy. However; I don’t think that means everyone will run into the same problem.

My next approach was to use the flexibility of this toy to its utmost potential. Between the base and the tip (where the bullet is located), there is a certain amount of give and flexibility. A lot of G-spot toys seem to be firm the whole way through, and I originally liked this flexibility. The problem was the flexibility reduced the amount of pressure I was able to exert internally so I had to try to bend the toy against the back wall of my vagina so that the tip might curve back upward toward my G-spot. This didn’t work.

However, the flexibility was nice when it came to thrusting. When I slid the G-harmony out of my pussy, I could drag it across my clit in a curved path, before pushing it back in, and I did like this, but it wasn’t going to get me off. I was able to use the G-Harmony on my clit to get off, though, which was unexpected. Sadly, it wasn’t my goal.

Unfortunately, I have a tendency to break toys that had a flexible spot, and this wasn’t an exception. Although it’s still completely functional and beautiful, I (am pretty sure I) have just barely broken this vibrator, somehow. The flexible place is now a little floppy. While I can still use it, it certainly doesn’t help me achieve orgasm.

As the facts stacked up, I accepted that I was not going to have my first G-spot orgasm with this vibe. Although it looked and felt nice, it wasn’t extraordinary. I liked the vibrations inside and out; they were fairly powerful (without being over the top). Plus, the bullet location in the tip was a good thought, but it was just nice. Even the ridges that give this toy its aesthetic appeal really didn’t add up to much. I’m not sure if my vag is less sensitive than others, but I really couldn’t feel them once inserted.

One thing that consistently annoys me about Evolved products is that they like to put their buttons on the bottom. This makes it easy to use (push once for on, twice to increase the power, a third time to turn it on high, and again to turn it off) but I was constantly turning this toy off by accident. I have another Evolved toy that does the same.

On the other hand, I think Evolved has made some decent TPR products. The colour was gorgeously translucent, and I only noticed a slight scent. I have heard some TPR toys smell quite strongly and this wasn’t the case. The smell I noticed wasn’t rubbery or like chemicals; actually, it smelled vaguely of gasoline (and I’m one of those weirdos who like the smell).

One last note: I had a bit of difficulty with the battery pack at first. 2 AAs go into the pack, which slides out of the base of this toy. This makes it a little easier to insert, and I have no problem inserting the batteries into the pack. I did run into an issue because the pack has to go in a certain way, and this isn’t clearly marked. I didn’t realize this because I put it incorrectly because it went in pretty easily. But when I realized this, it was already stuck, and I had to pry it out with a spreading knife. LOL If you have an Evolved toy with a removable battery pack, take notice of the sizes of the ridges inside the toy when you’re putting it in.

I don’t hate this toy; I just don’t love it. I think my issues were not universal; it just wasn’t the best toy for a beginner’s G-spot exploration (because of its size), and the flexibility didn’t help as I initially thought it would. I was annoyed by my issues with the battery pack, and I think Evolved needs to stop putting push buttons on the bottom of their toys. Yet, the G-harmony is still good-looking and did provide me with nice clitoral stimulation. I hope that, one day, I can come back to the G-Harmony after I get to know my G-spot better, and we can be more harmonious together.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.