The Girls Bestie Vibe

November 10th, 2014

reviewer’s remorse

noun

1.

overwhelming regret upon using or opening a sex toy for the first time and knowing instantaneously that there’s no way you can like it — and you can’t even send it back for a refund because it was free!

2.

theme of this post

Let’s set the stage shall we? I am so excited for new brands that sometimes I let my excitement get the best of me. I forget to check all-important stats such as length or girth or, God forbid, power source! of a toy. Or I forget that I really don’t like clitoral stimulators shaped like bunny ears. You can guess which one I am guilty of this time.

Yes, the bestie has silly bunny ears. Yes, the vibrations are incredibly buzzy, so those ears wind up.. offending my clit. It’s not a powerful barrage. It’s not over-stimulating. It’s simply the wrong kind of stimulation. My clit is offended, okay?

If you like bunny ears fluttering over your clit, then maybe yours won’t be offended, but I’m pretty terrible at guessing these things.

Bestie’s charging base reminds me a lot of the ones that comes with the Form 3 and Form 3. The rounded butt sits in it. However, there’s actually a plug on the base that inserts into the port. I slightly prefer this because it means that it won’t fall off my nightstand and go rolling across the floor. Or that my asshole cats can’t run off with it like they’ve been doing with my Yooo.

Anyway, A green light flashes while it charges. The soft silicone area around the charging port lights up blue when it’s in use, but the button doesn’t light up. It’s raised and embossed, so you won’t have any issues finding it.

The vibrations are both incredibly buzzy and whiny, and Bestie provides you with three incredibly buzzy levels of steady vibes in case you weren’t sure how offended your clit would be to start with. There’s a buzz-buuzzz mode,  and a pulsation that sounds like it’s an alien trying to communicate with us and a fast pulsation leading up to a slower pulse. The laughable vibrations aren’t enough to make these feel good, however. Plus, the weird noise is sooo distracting. It’s not loud, but it’s at a specific pitch that makes me want to punch someone in the junk.

I guess I think it’s cool that Vibratex has moved away from shitty toys like the Rabbit Habit, of which I broke two when I was 18, and to rechargeable silicone toys. But these are only splashproof and far overpriced for vibrations that literally feel on bar with watch-battery-powered bullets to me. Most of their battery-powered toys rely on AAAs, which I never ever like. When compared to the Magic Wand Original, which they know make, it’s obvious these toys represent the extremes with no middle ground. Boo!

And while Amie might have been a better shape for me — it’s similar to the Minna Limon — I’m sure I would still find myself underwhelmed by the power. The Limon is just $29 more. It’s expensive but well worth it in my opinion. If you’re looking for something under $100, the We-Vibe Tango at $80 is your best bet. I haven’t used the newest model, but I still rely heavily on my original Tango. I still fucking LOVE my Siri, and the Leaf Spirit also costs less than $100 at Good Vibes.

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Vibratex Pearl Thunder

April 25th, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

A while ago, I mentioned that, hey, I must just like ’em big and eagerly took up TabuToys when they offered a larger sized toy for review. After all, why wouldn’t I be curious just how much I can take? The answer is, at least, a diameter of 1.75″ or a circumference just shy of 5.5″. Not bad if I do say so myself. Still, my experience with Vibratex’s Pearl Thunder illustrated that maybe a toy of such size isn’t the best for rotation. Or maybe I should just be done with rotating toys in general.

Although billed as an X-tra Thick toy, I found only part of this rabbit style vibrator to be really large: the head. In fact, only the head is truly 1.75″ in diameter. The rest of the shaft is slightly smaller at about 1.5″ in diameter (and around 5 insertable inches) which seems pretty average to me.

Although, that’s probably the only “average” part of this vibe. I found the whole thing to be really unique, perhaps even weird. With 2 different faces on the toy – 1 which gives new meaning to “head” of a cock toward the top with the engorged tip seeming like hair and one molded into the back of the shaft – I almost want to giggle. The description on TabuToys lists it as the “Thunder from down under” and I conjured up a sort of purple, Aboriginal totem pole.

And don’t worry – there are animals too! The clitoral stimulator, which is some sort of fork-tongued panther-like animal over a small, unique, cylindrical (rather than bullet-shaped) vibrator. And we’re not done yet. On the back of the shaft, around the same height as the clitoral bullet is some sort of rodent (squirrel, otter, beaver?). Whatever it is, it does nothing as I couldn’t feel it at all during insertion.

It almost seems like Vibratex took a bunch of leftovers from the production of other toys to make the Pearl Thunder, and, as you can imagine, there is a lot of texture. There are little etching-like markings over the whole shaft that provide friction if I stroke my hand my over it but aren’t felt as much upon insertion. The clitoral stimulator also has some slightly raised nubs that provide a bit of external stimulation. The added friction, especially with a toy this large, requires a healthy dose of lube, and although I used water-based, silicone-based will work as well. This is also helpful with the stickiness of the “food-grade,” latex-free vinyl (AKA Jelly). The toy will pick up a bit of lint and could possibly react with toys of similar material so storing it in a cool, dark place and away from other toys is the way to go. Furthermore, sharing or anal use is best done with a condom because of the porous nature of the Pearl Thunder.

Looks and texture aside, the functions of this toy are pretty standard. There are two rows of 6 beads each which spin and are controlled by the same sliding button as the rotation. Turning on these functions also shines a red light below the clear beads. As I don’t love rotation like others, I long for toys where shaft and beads have separate controllers. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the strength of the beads. It took the complete strength of my hand to halt their movement and once inserted, they spun despite any clenching of my muscles. I think this is the first time I can say that for any toy so Vibratex hit the jackpot with the beads.

The head of this shaft is on a bendable wire so that it can be bent to hit all the right spots, but if someone is really looking for an extreme angle, they won’t find it with the Pearl Thunder. Only about an inch and a half can bend but because of the super-engorged head, it can only be bent right above the beads to the extent of a 25-degree angle (approximately). I didn’t find this to be an issue because I don’t require my toys to be bent, and I’m not a big fan of rotation: the less, the better.

The issue I had with this toy was that it was actually uncomfortable, even painful, for the shaft to rotate. There is a lot less space for movement when the object inserted is as large as the head on this vibrator, and the front wall of my vagina wasn’t liking it. I was even sore a bit the next day. Unfortunately, I did like the sensation of the beads, which was, as I mentioned, pretty strong, so it was either all or nothing.

I did prefer the clitoral stimulator of the Pearl Thunder over another Vibratex toy I recently reviewed, the Rock Your World vibe. Although not quite as large and powerful as I like bullets to be on rabbit vibes, it did the trick (and with 4 AAs, it better!). The vinyl material is just a little more solid, so the clit stimulator lay snug against me, and the toy hugged my pubic bone how I like. Ultimately, I achieved clitoral orgasm with the shaft turned off, and the bullet turned up to high as I rocked the toy against my pubic bone.

Although I’m usually not a fan of sliding controls like the ones Vibratex uses, I noticed something on the Pearl Thunder that I do not recall on other toys. On maximum, the controls seem to click into place. Although it’s not a secure lock, it does help somewhat to prevent the controls from accidentally moving when you’re in the throes of passion.

One snafu I ran into was the foil-like gold sticker around the controls that describe the functions and direction of strength. When I opened the Pearl Thunder, this sticker was only partially pressed on and seemed to be slightly off-center. The sticker itself looks tacky, but that it wasn’t even completely on was even worse. I pressed it on, and it stayed, but I wound up peeling it off, ultimately. The toy looks infinitely more attractive without it, in my opinion.

I think Vibratex did some things really well with the Pearl Thunder, but there is still room for improvement. The size was nice but I would have preferred a vibrating head as opposed to one that rotates – or separate controls. The beads felt nice and effectively stood the clench test and the body-hugging clitoral stimulator with its slightly raised nubs hit all the right spots (but could have been larger). Although not the safest material, the vinyl was comfortably pliable, and the controls were surprisingly effective once the tacky sticker was removed. Out of all the Vibratex toys I have used, the Pearl Thunder is probably the one I like the most, despite the painful rotation.

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Rock Your World Vibrator

April 1st, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

One of my very first sex toys was the infamous Rabbit Habit from Vibratex. I was really excited and it was nice for a while until it broke. And a second one broke. I haven’t really had a lot of faith in Vibratex and haven’t purchased another product since then. I have used a lot of quality toys and have come to the opinion that the Rabbit Habit was not. But when the chance arose for me to try another Vibratex product, I thought I’d give them another go. I hoped that the company would woo me with another product.

And the product on question is the ‘Rock Your World’ vibe. It’s a cute purple, rabbit-style vibrator (although the clit stimulator is actually a butterfly) with soft tickling nubs. Made from elastomer, this toy comes in a fairly chic and modern plastic box decorated with filigree-style lines. The box was surrounded by a paperboard band (also decorated with a feminine flower) which serves both as advertising and information about the toy. Helpful information includes using water-based lube, keeping away from latex products, and that there are no latex or phthalates in the product. Some of the more gimicky ‘information’ states that there is a powerful motor and that the Rock Your World vibe is an ‘original design by women for women.’ Overall, however, the package is pretty modern even if it’s not breathtaking and it’s certainly a step up from the cardboard boxes my habits came in.

One vital piece of information which is listed on the box is the specs. With an insertable 4″ and a diameter of 1.75″, this is not the biggest toy I’ve ever used. It’s definitely no Passion Wave. 😉 But that’s okay. The product page on TabuToys lists the diameter as slightly smaller as well (from 1.5″ to 1.65″). This is definitely not a toy for the size queen. While I may have mentioned in the past that I am definitely looking forward to some larger toys, I have always had problems with rotating rabbits, which are simply too long.

It’s a rather cute toy. Mine came in a translucent purple which looks really neat. The shaft has several ‘bulges’ which give it a sort of caterpillar look and that matches the butterfly theme in my mind. The head is the largest part of the shaft, and it is crowned with 9 of the little ticklers. The elastomer is very soft; you can easily stretch the ticklers, and when the bullet is turned on, the butterfly’s antennas and wings flap pretty crazily.

During use, I found insertion to be pretty easy, as expected. I wasn’t sure how the little ticklers would feel. It was something akin to tickling and not painful or uncomfortable at all but not necessarily mind-blowing. It was just different to use something with a little more texture, and it might have made the toy feel slightly girthier.

Controlled by 2 sliding switches, I was wary about one issue I had with my Rabbit Habit and the same type of control. When both functions were turned on high, they were not as strong as when just one function was turned on. I think that is still the case here but it’s definitely not as noticeable. It’s still not my favourite type of control pack, however.

Aside from the smaller stature, there’s also another difference between the Rock Your World and many similar vibes: there is a vibrating bullet in the head as well as the clit stimulator. The rotating toys I have tried generally do not also vibrate in the shaft and the placement in the head will probably make this perfect for G-spot stimulation for many ladies.

But I am a specific lady with specific needs. How did I feel? I thought the shorter shaft was a plus. It wasn’t beating up my cervix uncomfortably, but it wasn’t mind-blowing either. Keep in mind that I have yet to stimulate my G-spot pleasurably. Most of the time, the rotating shaft was just there.

I think the bendable wire was stronger than the Rabbit Habit because it stayed straight the whole time. You can bend this toy at a 90-degree angle, and it will still rotate. Why anyone would want to use a toy that way, I don’t know. Ceiling fans generally do not belong in my vagina. LOL In fact, I think this is better quality overall.

As for the vibrating parts, I was a little letdown. Considering that this thing takes 3AA batteries – insertion was a breeze but the cap could come off – it just wasn’t enough. I have come to love the mega bullet on the Passion Wave and, in comparison, the one on the Rock Your World vibe was much smaller and less powerful. Still, there was a nice variety of speeds for someone who likes build-up. I also would have liked slightly stiffer parts on the butterfly. His wings and little nubbies on his underside were too soft and floppy to provide much stimulation.

I haven’t used a lot of toys made out of elastomer, which is rather softer than many of the silicone toys I like, so I think I’m just not used to something so soft. Pairing this with the fact that I like a lot of pressure, and I wasn’t really wowed by the feel of the toy. The elastomer didn’t seem to have a bad smell, though. Unfortunately, it does pick up a bit of lint and has also started to smell like the uber-smelly Meta-Jelly Heart On Vibe I reviewed a while back because I kept them in the same box. Obviously, this isn’t an anal toy, but I would definitely worry that elastomer would pick up some unfriendly scents.

I never really noticed the vibrating head. I think the rotation made it difficult to discern something else as well. In fact, it wasn’t until taking this toy out to review that I actually realized it had a third function. It might be better to give it a separate control or to actually point it out on the package. However, I think I probably would enjoy this toy less if it didn’t have the third function.

My final grade is that this toy comes up short. (Pardon the fun). While it was definitely an improvement over my previous experience with a Vibratex toy, I think I just want something a little more. I was a little frustrated after using this and switched to, you guessed it, the Passion Wave.

A larger, stronger bullet in the clit stimulator would be the first improvement I would make in the Rock Your World vibrator and would likely overshadow any other complaints (because I’m a clit girl). I think I’ve exhausted all the options when it comes to rotating vibes. I know now they’re just not for me. However, I think this could be a great warm-up/foreplay toy or good for someone who isn’t so demanding of their sex toys or likes a softer touch. It’s feminine appeal really makes it seem like a great first toy for someone who wants to venture into something new. However, my experience leads me to believe that Vibratex greatly marks up the prices of their toys.

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