Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator

August 12th, 2010

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I like throbbing things, especially throbbing body parts. Like a cock as it ejaculates inside of me or the spasms of my PC muscles during orgasm. Yet, throbbing is one of the few sensations that companies haven’t mastered. Throbbing toys have not saturated the market, so this vibrator really caught my eye.

Out of the box, the Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator is interesting. I noticed that the TPE seemed to be quite loose around the shaft mechanism. I mean, it’s not flopping around, but you can pinch some of the material away from the shaft, like looser skin. The movement kind of gives the feel of softness–when not in use.

The Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator has a straight, smooth shaft. The mechanism beneath the TPE gives the impression of ripples, however. The head of the toy is realistically shaped like the head of a cock. Oddly enough, the clitoral stimulator also has a penis head shape which is kind of creepy. It’s like the whole clitoral simulator is some sort of stunted penis. And then, there are two embossed heart designs toward the base o the toy and on the back of the clit stim. I have no idea what the theme is here but Doc Johnson missed the mark.

Still, I wanted this for its sensations, not the look. It’s not the tiniest toy, though. With a base diameter of 1.59″, it’s a medium-large size. You can use water or silicone-based lube with this toy. The design results in a maximum insertable length of 5.5″, which is pretty effective for the average size of vaginas. The clitoral stimulator is also quite long, extending almost 3″ from the shaft.

There are two buttons for each function (throbbing and clit vibration). The design deviates from the standard and isn’t visually appealing. Essentially, the throbbing function has a + and – buttons that also serve to turn the function on and off, respectively. These buttons are square and are labeled as “On” and “Off” which is confusing to me. The vibration function has a master On/Off button and a separate button to control the speed/mode. These buttons are round and oval, respectively. I don’t know why both functions don’t have comparable +/- button or a power and mode button–or a different setup altogether to provide a master “Off” button for the entire toy. I don’t know why there are different shapes. It’s very anti-intuitive, in my opinion.

So I insert the toy and turn it on. First, I try the throbbing because this is really the appeal and, boy, is it weird. The throbbing is actually expanding and contracting, which required the loose TPE that I noticed originally. It does this in a very quick succession, even on the lowest speed and, when the toy isn’t inserted, it makes a noise similar to skin slapping skin during sex. On the toy, it’s almost disgusting.

Sound aside, I just did not find the sensation wasn’t much like throbbing itself. Throbbing typically has vertical movement, too. It feels deep, rumbly. This toy does not. It just feels like something is growing larger and smaller, and all the speeds are too close together for there to be much build-up. This is not a sensation that stimulates my G-spot at all. And because rabbits are not intended to be thrusted (usually), this isn’t very versatile. Additionally, I find that the shaft mechanism feels really hard and solid. I prefer my insertables to be either hard or large–not both.

Externally, I was not impressed. The clit stimulator, while plenty long enough, offers little pressure. The vibrations are incredibly buzzy. I can barely tell the difference between the medium and high steady vibrations. The pulsation lacks any sort of oomph. The functions, when combined, really seem to work against one another. They don’t complement each other at all. I’m not surprised that I was unimpressed by the vibrations, however. This uses AAAs.

The toy takes 4AAAs altogether. They fit into a battery compartment that has an easy load-style pack, and the cap screws on over an O-ring, thus making this waterproof. Honestly, I’d think that the sensation of water falling on you in the shower would compete with the sensations that this toy provides, and I don’t advise it.

I am more than a bit disappointed with this toy. I really like the idea of a throbbing toy, but I think it needs to feel different from the violent, in-and-out slapping of the mechanism of this toy. Plus, I’m curious how easy it might be to break this. I’m almost intrigued enough by the function to cut off the TPE and see what’s going on beneath it. Almost.

Still, I commend Doc Johnson for thinking outside the box and creating something a little different.

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Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit

September 1st, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I was pretty excited when Evolved came out with their Dream Maker Rabbits. The pink Lunar Rabbit – which I have – is a fancy-looking toy with LED lights and multiple buttons and rotating beads, and a vibrating clit stimulator, and it’s waterproof on top of that. The Dream Makers were received with, generally, mediocre reviews but this only piqued my interest. I was even more interested in this bunny when some of the early reviews made no mention of shaft rotation – only awesome rotating beads and vibrating clit stimulators.

Packaged in Evolved’s typical metal box (although the lid is now plastic encased as well) and nestled in foam, was my pink Lunar Rabbit. I quickly discovered that the soft TPR material, which coats the shaft and clit stim, was one hell of a lint magnet. It seemed even more so than other Evolved toys I’ve tried and reminded me of my less than stellar experience with Cyberskin. The control pack is velvety, hard plastic like Evolved uses in many other products and does not attract lint, of course.

I had no issues popping 4 AAA batteries into an EZ load-style pack after unscrewing the bottom. It seemed plenty secure for waterproof purposes and made cleaning with soap and water quite easy. There is a sticker that says to push, and I expected it to click in and out of a secure position; however, pushing didn’t actually seem to do anything. The battery pack just sat there loosely the whole time. It’s not an issue, but it just seems pointless to tell us to push when it doesn’t do anything.

I immediately played with was the different functions and LED light. There is a master On/Off button which I appreciate. This is a great feature in times of unexpected.. interruptions. The clit stimulator and shaft have separate Up/Down arrow controls as well. On top of this, there is a function button for the shaft and clit stim as well, for a total of 7 buttons. This is definitely more buttons than some may be used to or even like. It’s a toy that takes a bit more practice before play to get a feel of and I was initially confused.

Overall, I prefer the control pack to Evolved’s other single-button styles because it’s much harder to accidentally turn off and there’s also 3 finger indentations on the back of the toy for grasping. I did notice that the buttons for the rotation were less responsive than the rest of the buttons, for whatever reason. I would have to push them several times to increase or lower the intensity and this was just during experimentation. It’d probably be more difficult and frustrating during actual play.

The light display is in the shape of a star, with a light at each point for a total of 10 lights. When first turned on, the Lunar Rabbit turns on the lowest setting of function 1. This setting corresponds with the lights at the bottom 2 points of the stars. As you increase the speed of either feature, another point on the star lights up (for a total of 5 stars to each feature). In all, there are 5 functions, each, for the clit stim and shaft with 5 settings/speeds for each function which results in hundreds of different combinations. The functions of the clit stim include steady vibration, short pulsation, fast pulsation, an increasing pulsation and roller coaster while the rotation/beads includes forward, backward, back and forth, faster back and forth and “stop and go” rotation. The shaft and clit stim can be operated separately by turning down the speed on the function until it turns off but I wouldn’t have minded a quick Off button for either feature, either.

I was also surprised by the fact that the shaft does rotate; it just rotates in very tiny circles which could easily be missed. Overall, though, disappointment did abound. I think Evolved made a grave mistake in powering this rabbit with AAA batteries and no matter how many you use, simply upgrading to AA would have seen a vast improvement in power. Even on the higher settings, the bunny clit stimulator wasn’t all that impressive. And while I appreciated the variety in bead rotation, it didn’t stand up to muscle clenching at all. As you can guess, I couldn’t even feel the shaft rotations even though I knew it was happening – or supposed to be. My muscles likely put a stop to that, too.

Furthermore, I found the hundreds of combinations to be lackluster, really, but I’m more of a girl who likes one or two really good settings/functions and sticks to them. I tend to skip “low” settings right for medium or high and more than one pulsation setting is pretty unnecessary for me. I would have been more than happy if my Lunar Rabbit had only a handful of stellar combinations but.. it didn’t. With that said, fans of light to medium stimulation, who love variety and build up might enjoy the power of this more.

There was one redeeming quality, however. It’s not well known and Evolved doesn’t advertise it as a feature, but the shaft can bend below the beads. I actually discovered this by accident when rocking the toy to stimulate my G-spot, which caused the shaft to bend. This offers much more noticeable stimulation via shaft rotation. Still, I especially enjoyed it with rotation off, using the rocking motion to create a very effective dual stimulator and to finally achieve an orgasm or two. Because it bends below the beads, it really offers an experience like no other rabbit I’ve tried. Unfortunately, the folks from Evolved say that continuous bending might cause this wire to break, which is a shame. I think this is by far the best quality of the Dream Maker Lunar Rabbit and without it, I was less than impressed by lackluster power, the confusing LED display, and the tendency to collect lint.

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