Leaf Fresh

January 4th, 2012

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

If you haven’t heard of BMS’s new line of vibrators under the Leaf moniker, then I’ll assume you were either dead or in a cave for several months. The folks over there graciously asked me if I’d review a Leaf vibrator, and I said “yes.” Although I’m not usually a big fan of the color green, it certainly evoked the idea of being eco-friendly in my mind, and it was refreshing. The Fresh wasn’t my first choice in vibrators.

When I got the Fresh, however, I changed my tune. The palm-sized vibrator is shaped similar to a stylized heart, with two rounds on top and a vertex at the bottom. The single push button rests on one of the top rounds while the other, as well as the point on the bottom, provide two different options for contact.

What really piqued my interest, though, was how strong the vibrator was when I opened the box. The manual says that you should charge it first but mine was already charged so I was able to see both how strong and intuitive it is to use. The button is similar to the Jopen vibes. Press and hold to increase vibrations. Push one to turn it off. There’s only one button because Fresh only offers steady vibrations. It’s definitely something I could get used to and the button is both slightly raised and lights up so that you can find it easily.

When I first turned the Fresh all the way up, I couldn’t handle it in my hand. I was definitely impressed with the strength and had to start over, gradually increasing it so that I could handle it. With that said, while the vibrations started moderately deep, the higher settings were definitely buzzy. Fresh covers various depths and strengths, so I imagine many people would enjoy it, unless you need Hitachi-strength and depth vibes.

Unfortunately, when I was in use, the vibrations started out nicely, but I quickly became “immune” to them. They felt far more surface-level against my clit than they did against my hand, and that turned from what I expected to be a quick orgasm to one that needed more effort from my hand and outside help via some awesome erotica. I was really surprised that this was the case because of my initial experience with the vibrator. After I stopped playing, my entire vulva had the tingly, over-vibrated feel, but it sure didn’t seem like that was the case while I was trying to get off.

Of course, I’m sure many people will have no problem with the vibrations. The shape could also be a deal-breaker for some. I tried with both the rounded edge and pointed edge against my clit, holding the Fresh in a vertical position. I liked that I could hold it vertically because it provided a somewhat hands-free experience, if I wasn’t requiring pressure or movement. The pointed edge definitely offers a more pinpoint stimulation, if that’s your thing, but I found them to both be a little too narrow for my preferences. From the product images, I would guess BMS is suggesting you stick to the pointed edge for clit stim as that makes it slightly easier to press the button.

I did find myself accidentally pressing that button and turning off the vibrator a few times. That happens will smaller toys that don’t have room for me to apply pressure. I may just be a little clumsy in that area, too. Still, turning it back on is pretty easy.

The packaging describes this as a soft touch toy, and it makes sense when you feel the silicone: the outer layer feels plush and offers some give, but it’s over a rigid form. The silicone is closer to the shiny type than the velvety, offering a lot of drag against the skin, so you may want to use water-based lubed, especially if you’re using one of the internal toys.

Although the package calls this waterproof, there’s still a visible port for plugging in the adapter. I don’t submerge toys, so I don’t have a problem with it, and I wasn’t particularly careful when washing, but I find this intriguing. Since I can’t see inside the hole, I have no idea what’s going on. I really like that the adapter has the Lead logo on it, though. Remember when I ruined my WeVibe with the adapter mix-up? Yea, don’t wanna do that again.

The Fresh washes up with soap and water but does collect a bit of lint. You can store it in the provided bag, which is made of brown canvas and features the Leaf logo. It seems they use the same bag for all the toys because this one is definitely overly large for the Fresh. I like bags that fit better, I suppose.

Like the bag, the box is a brown as well and made from recycled cardboard. Some folks have been saying this product isn’t as eco-friendly as BMS would have you believe and I can understand where they come from. The toy and adapter are still wrapped in plastic, the box is big and bulky, there’s a paper manual, and silicone and the internal battery are ultimately difficult to recycle. Leaf vibes don’t seem any more green to me, color aside, than most rechargeable toys I have.

So, Leaf vibes and the Fresh will work for some people but it wasn’t perfect for me. It still seemed high quality and it’s nice to have another ption if you’re a sexy toy connoisseur.

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Silicone Jack Rabbit

November 27th, 2011

Cal Exotics has released their classic jack rabbit in a new silicone formula and, in general, I approve. The line up includes blue, pink, purple and white models. The silicone itself is smooth with a bit of drag so you’ll probably want to use a bit of your favorite water-based lube with this one.

This vibrator only offers 5″ insertable and has a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest point, which is where the beads are, slightly more than halfway down the shaft. The shaft has a rounded, contoured head and there are several protruding bulges on the back of the shaft, just under the head, making a Y shape.

The beads are arranged on several vertical poles and all of them move, either clockwise or counter-clockwise. The clitoral attachment is, traditionally, a rabbit with soft, squishy ears. His nose extends toward the body as well.

The controls on this one could be a little more intuitive. There’s a squiggly line which turns on the vibrations. Pressing it again cycles through three modes of steady vibration as well as pulsation. There are three heart-shaped LED lights below this button that light up or blink in tune with the setting. There are three more buttons. An up arrow and a down arrow. Pressing the up arrow turns on the bead movement, of which there are three speeds. Pressing the down arrow does the opposite while the last button, which features arrows, changes directions. I wanted to press this button, though, because of how the main vibration button works. It seems off balanced to have three buttons for one function and a single for the other.

Because the silicone jack rabbit uses 3AAs, the vibrations in the clitoral attachment are pretty impressive. It’s the giant bullet style that I tend to like, too. The ears offer a lot of movement but I tend to prefer to press the body of the rabbit against my clit. The larger size will extend about 1.5″ (without the ears) to 2.5″ with the ears.

The beads are also pretty strong. I can stop them with my hand but only if I’m really squeezing it.

This rabbit features the easy remove battery pack. The cover has a knob you grasp to turn it. I find it a bit difficult because the cap is a shiny plastic. My fingers want to slip around and it takes a lot of effort to turn it in and out of place. There’s is a permanent O-ring around the area where the battery pack sits. It’s more secure-looking than many I’ve seen. I don’t use my toys in wet settings, typically, but I have no fear this toy will stand up during washing with soap and water. You could also use a toy wipe or cleaning spray, though.

This vibrator is priced lower than some of the Couture Collection and based on power alone, I think it’s a better deal. But it’s MSRP of $81.99 seems slightly high in my book. but Sextoy.com sells it for much less, a more reasonable price. At If you’re a diehard fan of the rabbit and want one that is higher quality than many on the market, you might consider the silicone jack rabbit.

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Vanity by Jopen #4

November 3rd, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The VR-4 marks the third Vanity by Jopen rabbit that I’ve tried and the third that I didn’t like. All the shapes are just slightly different enough that I find it hard to figure out which would work for me. The Vr. 6 was extremely rigid. Like Lelo’s Ina, it was a little pinchy.. but I liked the vibrations.

The Jopen #4 actually differs in that the neck of the shaft is quite flexible so you can experiment a little more with positions. This means it may work better for a variety of users.. or so I’d guess. The head of the shaft is a rigid silicone, however, so you can still get pressure where you need it.

The shaft is also more angular, too. First, it curves backward to accommodate the pubic bone. Then it curves forward toward the G-spot. The very tip curves very slightly back once more. In use, it really presses up against the G-spot. This is good for squirting — I did a lot — and makes me feel fuller but the angle isn’t so good for thrusting. I find myself having to be a little more careful. #4 provides direct stimulation in the way that’s best for users who like to hold a vibrator against their G-spot. The angles make the 3.5″x 1.5″ shaft feel much larger than it is, in my experience. My cervix is a little unhappy.

The insertable portion runs on its own motor that is powered by a single button. I’ve described that in detail here so I won’t do it again. I like it but I’m not used to it. Every time I reach for a Jopen toy, I have to relearn the buttons. Unless CEN plans to make all its toys operate in this manner, I think maybe it should consider not reinventing the wheel.

The clitoral arm is also more flexible. It doesn’t seem to have the motor right in it but just under it, so the vibrations here are weaker than I recall the Vr 6. The silicone provides a firm but flexible stimulation that I would like, except the arms just too damned short for me. It measures just over an inch long and is about 4/5″ wide. It probably wouldn’t provide the broad pressure I like if it did reach, though. The clitoral stimulator gets its own button. See above for my thoughts.

Overall, the Vanity by Jopen #4 seemed a little less powerful than other Jopen vibrators. This is especially noticeable in the clitoral arm. At times, the shaft motor also seemed jerky. This isn’t something I’ve experienced before and it’s not a deal-breaker, but it’s interesting enough to note.

Like the other toys in the line, this toy is rechargeable (there’s a light on the toy itself to indicate status) and comes with the adapter and a super large storage bag. I mentioned it before, but it’s so stretchy that it’s almost unwieldy. I’m not a fan. Jopen vibes are all waterproof, made of non-porous silicone and not compatible with silicone lubes.

The flexibility is the strongest feature of the Vanity by Jopen #4. I like how it creates more room for the pubic bone, too, but it does so in a way that presses toward the back vaginal wall, and I don’t like that so much. If you want a decently powered vibrator and think that this one will fit your proportions, you could do much worse.

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Lelo Tiani

October 23rd, 2011

Tiani

Tiani
from

Tiani is now in its third version.

By now, you’re probably seen the press releases and more than a handful reviews about Lelo’s new toys, which the company released over a month ago. These additions to the Insignia range are all wireless and use what Lelo is calling SenseMotion technology to operate. Lelo was kind enough to offer me my choice for review so I opted for the Tiani, the toy that I felt would be easier to review without a partner, which is basically a smaller version of the WeVibe in a silky silicone. However, the Lyla, Oden and Tiani are best intended for partner use. So while I want to thank Lelo, I was to be absolutely clear that they missed the mark and this is why.

Tiani is too damned weak and buzzy. Even on its highest setting, it barely registers as more than a tickle. There’s not enough variance between the low and high and the pitch is too high for any sort of pulsation to be stimulating. If you need anything stronger than a watch battery bullet, the Tiani is not for you. This is especially disappointing, considering how deep the WeVibe’s vibrations are, even if they aren’t that strong.

Tiani is confusing. I don’t like having to read directions. There, I said it and, you know what? Who wants to have to sit down and read a book to figure out how to operate their sex toy? But I had to, from beginning to end. First, I had to figure out how to charge it. Here’s a tip: the plastic band in the middle of the toy is actually where the toy parts twist together. The adapter plugs into one end once you take it apart. The plastic band around the toy itself isn’t seamless, and the way the pieces screw together seems very cheap. The Insignia line is supposed to be waterproof, but this design doesn’t even include a removable O-ring. My Alia seemed a little safer. However, I doubt the shower or pool would be an ideal place to use it anyway, considering the weak vibes and remote problems.

Then I had to figure out how to use it. You have to press a button on the remote and then a button on the controller, then another button on the toy itself to activate it. Then you have to figure out how SenseMotion works, which leads me to my next point.

SenseMotion is novel but not practical in the least. Thank god Lelo still allows you to use the remote normally, but there are two super weird settings you have to pass first. The first mode relies on the position of the remote. Flip it vertically to raise vibrations, back down to lower them. The controller itself vibrates to offer feedback to the user. That’s kind of a neat idea, but it also means the controller makes noise, so that limits where and when you might be able to use the SenseMotion toys, in my opinion. In the first mode, a back-and-forth movement simulates pulsation. Well, sort of. There’s this bit of delay between movement and the vibration in the Tiani, and it’s hard to get a good rhythm going.

The second mode, which you can activate by pressing the middle of three buttons, simply requires you to move the controller faster to increase the intensity of the vibrations. This means, that if you want to use the vibrations at the highest setting, you need to shake it pretty good.. which also works against it being inconspicuous as so many wireless vibrators aim to be. It’s also tiring and annoying.

The third mode is one where you simply press the + arrow to increase vibrations and the – arrow to decrease. It’s the one I like the most because it makes sense and doesn’t require too much concentration. I wish the controller turned onto this mode instead. There are eight settings, including pulsation and escalation and I swear the controller is more powerful than the Tiani itself.

Aside from awkwardness and confusion, the Tiani is rechargeable but still requires batteries. Man, I hate that about wireless toys. It’s the controller that requires batteries, 2 AAAs to be exact. Insertion is kind of a bitch. The battery cover is designed so that you have to use a little key to open it, or potentially a fingernail. I don’t know. I was so excited to try it out that I somehow used my fingers and forced myself to just press it open, but it sucked. Then you insert the batteries and closing the case is much more difficult without the key that I didn’t even realize existed because..

Tiani comes with too much damned stuff. Seriously. Manual, batteries, key, brooch, packet of lube, controller, vibrator, storage pouch. The controller, brooch and vibe sit on top of foam inserts and everything else sits under, in the hollow of the box. My batteries and key actually got wedged in there, so I didn’t realize there was a key to open it until I read another review. Opening the battery compartment then became so much easier, but why does Lelo think the consumer needs all this crap? I can almost guarantee I’m going to lose the key, and the only reason I won’t lose the brooch is because I’ll never take it out of the box. It’s all a lot to keep an eye on.

At the end of the day, I wouldn’t mind, but the Tiani just doesn’t work very well. The remote starts to fail as soon as any objects come between it and the vibrator. In mode three, the remote can’t even transmit through a thin layer of fabric, let alone walls. I’m not a fan of the shape either. The insertable part is smaller than that of the WeVibe, which may be better for using during intercourse but also makes it more difficult to adequately stimulate my G-spot. The arm is also extremely flexible so it’s difficult to get a lot of pressure. Paired with the weak vibrations, the Tiani didn’t do much for me. Plus, the silky silicone is so slippery. There’s no good place to hold for insertion or to get just the right angle. My fingers kept slipping off.

The Tiani also has a ridiculously short battery life. After charging completely, I was able to use it once and play with it, for testing purposes, twice. We’re talking far less than an hour here. The Tiani’s meager vibrations are a freaking battery hog.

So we have a vibrator that isn’t very good, a wireless control that doesn’t work very well, a rechargeable toy that also needs batteries. The Lelo Tiani just doesn’t do much right besides looking pretty and even that’s a stretch.

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My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit

October 12th, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Sometimes, toys make it to the shelf with such a design flaw that I really have to wonder, “What were they thinking?” Such is the case with the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. I was perplexed as soon as I opened the box but, you see, the description is kind of misleading. According to the website, “This complete kit contains 2 soft pliable attachments with the world famous Mini Miracle Massager.” So you would expect to receive a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments and that, that I can live with. I would expect not to love every attachment but have a functional massager, nevertheless.

Wrong.

The problem is that it’s not a Mini Miracle Massager with some attachments (although, that already exists). It’s a model based on the Mini Miracle Massager, but there’s a permanent fixture on the head onto which you place attachments. The attachments are not part of a cup that goes over the head; rather, they both have a little hole that slides onto an awkwardly placed knob on the side of the wand. Perhaps it wouldn’t seem so awkward if you only used the pleasure kit for vaginal/internal stimulation because then you can aim the extension up and hold the handle perpendicular to your body. Unfortunately, I think of this type of toy as clitoral by default –and the tongue-shaped attachment certainly supports my conclusion — so I don’t want to do that.

Mini Miracle Massager Probe AttachmentI tried anyway. I put the little nubby attachment on first after giving it a good scrubbing. From the side, it looks like a character with a cartoonishly large nose. While the TPE attachments may be Phthalate-free, they freaking stink. I mean, pew! As suspected, the placement was awkward, and the shape was less than ideal for clitoral stimulation. I didn’t get off.

I had even less success with the tongue shape. I couldn’t figure out what I was supposed to do with it. The most comfortable way to hold it implies internal stimulation, but I don’t like tongue-shapes inside of me. To align the tongue with my clit, I’d either have to point the end of the handle between my knees or down toward my abdomen, so that was a no-go either.

My Mini Miracle MassagerI’d like to say the massager itself was redeemed, but it’s not because you can’t use it by itself. There’s a sticky-offy knobby thing that not only gets in the way but feels pretty unhygienic, too. The knob itself is unfinished, so water can get into it. The same is true for the extensions. You have a little less room to get in there and dry things off when you clean it, which I don’t like.

California Exotics has kept the same springy head and easy to use controls as the regular Miracle Massager, which I still love. There’s two speeds and an off. Unfortunately, this toy is pretty loud and not discreet at all. The vibrations are quite strong but not as deep as the Miracle Massager.

I’m not a fan of the detachable cord because it’s easy to mix it up with something else. If I can remove a cord, the toy should be rechargeable, which this isn’t. I don’t understand the point. This one is pretty long — upwards of three feet — but the adapter itself is overly large, clunky and annoying.

Annoying just about sums up the My Mini-Miracle Massager Pleasure Kit. Just buy your Mini Miracle Massager and attachments separately.

CEN Sexpert

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BSoft Burgundy

September 23rd, 2011

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.

Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to decrease the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.

While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.

The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.

The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.

I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some comparison pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to disperse and dilute the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the original.

For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.

I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!

While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?

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Turtle

September 8th, 2011

Turtle

Turtle
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Papaya Toys garnered a lot of attention when they first emerged. Folks loved the whimsical designs, body-safe silicone and bright colors. I was not immune to this and lusted over the toys for some time. After the initial wave of toys went out to reviewers, the presses halted as the folks went back to work to tweak their toys a bit. I was impressed with a company who was actually listening to people like myself and was finally able to try out a Papaya Toy, the Turtle, recently. I want to say thank you to Pam and everyone at Papaya Toys for being so awesome for providing the product.

My first impression of Turtle, in its white and pink box, was positive. The packaging was pretty and the bright green turtle sat atop a black satin back. My package included a business card and the box itself had an introduction to the company and a separate manual for the toys (which all use the same controls). I didn’t take the time to read the instructions and I wish I had.

You see, the Turtle and its siblings have a unique bow-tie control that contains “two” buttons. The quotations are due to the fact that there’s obviously a third button in center.. or one of my buttons is off or extends too far to the middle. Regardless, this extra button clicks all on its own and seems to share some functions with the “+” button but doesn’t act as a master power button. So I spent a whole bunch of time trying to figure out why the hell they’d use three buttons.

I was doubly confused because the buttons function differently than most vibrators. I kept trying to push the buttons to increase vibration strength when pushing them changes modes (pushing the “-” button once actually turns the Turtle off) and holding them increase or decreases strength. This is a method that I don’t mind but usually throws me for a loop in the beginning.

So here I am, completely befuddled. It just doesn’t make sense. Two buttons would make perfect sense: the buttons would each be placed on the widest ends of the bow tie. Five buttons would be confusing but not as much as three: each vertex would house a button. But three? There’s a button on either end and one in the center, but the buttons are along one of the long edges of the bowtie, so it just feels.. confusing. Should there be more buttons along the other edge? Is this actually a button? Why does the power button not turn this thing off?

Then I read the instructions and realized there’s only supposed to be two buttons and either I’m missing the center just right to make the “+” button work (even though it clicks separately) or.. I don’t know. Defect? Poor placement on my model? I can’t even begin to answer the question, but once I figured out how it worked and tried to keep my finger from the center, it made a little more sense.

Unfortunately, this is when the Turtle completely failed to whelm me proportionately (you know, instead of underwhelming me). There is one mode of steady vibration and two pulsation modes. The pulsing is interesting, but the continuous vibes are pretty lackluster. I’ve used a lot of toys that rely on 2AAs, and they’re much deeper and stronger than this toy. This is one of those vibrators where you can easily mistake the highest setting for the low (like the Getaway Luxe). Even though I can hear the difference when changing the toy, there isn’t much difference to be felt. In my hand, it tickles more on high because the vibrations are more shallow but in use? Can’t tell.

It’s frustrating because the toy is thick enough that it seems like you could get another battery in there and that would really make a difference. However, this might mess with the reversible battery pack. I like that it doesn’t matter which direction or orientation I place it in, but I’d gladly sacrifice that for stronger vibes. Plus, the battery cap–which is just the end of the toy–is damned fickle. You really have to push it down onto the toy before you can screw it on. It’s a two-hand job.

I find the size of the battery pack/controls to be awkward in itself. It reminds me of some of the rabbits I’ve had and it’s pretty hard to control with my short arms. It has a total length of 9.3″ and three or so inches is dedicated to the battery cap. At its widest (where the battery cap meets the shaft), the diameter is 1.65″. We’re talking some bulk and the silicone makes it feel quite heavy.

The silicone also has a wonderful velvet texture, and I absolutely adore the turtle design. The lines remind me of a lower shell, and there’s a small nub on the head of the Turtle that should be ideal for G-spot stimulation. Not my G-spot, apparently. Because it’s so shallow, this vibrator completely misses it when resting comfortably inside. The narrowest part (around 1″ diameter) of the shaft sits parallel to my G-spot but, because it’s narrow, doesn’t touch it. I have to awkwardly angle it forward in order to get G-spot stimulation. Although the shaft has some give, the awkwardness makes it hard for me to bend it.

I also can’t feel the Turtle design internally. Sadness. However, I did enjoy the rounded head for clitoral stimulation, and I did squirt a ton after all that wrangling. Odd.

So, the Turtle is one of those toys that looks great. I love the idea of it but it’s just awkward in practice because of its size and bulk, finicky battery cap and whatever is going on with the buttons. If it hadn’t been so awkward, I would have loved to recommend it to anyone whose G-spot is more traditionally located. I’d love to see a new line of Papaya Toys that are slimmer and sleeker, with more power and.. buttons that do what they should.

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