Funzze Double-headed Wand Vibrator

November 22nd, 2024

Funzze Double-headed Wand Vibrator
$31.99 from Funzze

The second of four Funzz toys I’ve been able to try is the double-headed wand vibrator, which is certainly an unwieldy name. A single-word name would be so convenient, wouldn’t it? Regardless, a toy is more than just its name.

Let’s start with the positive: I really like the G-spot portion of this vibrator. I think the way the curve seems to be carved into it looks unique while creating a contoured head to stimulate the G-spot. The head is the widest part of the insertable shaft at just over 1.5 inches wide (roughly the same as the widest part of the handle and the massager head), but the rest of the shaft is significantly thinner and won’t feel filling if that’s what you’re after.

Now, I don’t need anything particularly fancy or special when it comes to G-spot vibrators. I just need them to have a good enough shape and vibrations that aren’t so buzzy that I’ll give up before any payoff because they tickle my hand. This vibrator succeeds at that. I prefer it on the low or medium setting which offer deeper vibrations than the highest setting. Interestingly, the G-spot portion of this vibrator has deeper albeit weaker vibrations than the wand side, which almost immediately tickle my hand uncomfortably. I wouldn’t complain if both ends were even deeper, however.

Now, on to the really disappointing. I just do not like this as a wand-style vibrator. The neck of the head is so very flexible that it’s impossible to get any pressure. I mean, it bends more than 90 degrees back toward the handle, at which point it sort of rolls to the side rather than staying in place.

Of course, if you’re the type to hold a vibrator against your body, this might not be a deal breaker for you. I’m just not sure why it needs to be that flexible. As soon as I realized how flexible the neck was, however, I knew I would never use it on myself again after completing testing. I guess that means I can’t accidentally break it, not like I’ve done that before.

Even if you don’t mind or actively enjoy the flexibility of the wand side, you might find yourself disappointed with the vibrations. On the lowest setting, they’re not weak, but they are rather buzzy, and that doesn’t improve when you turn them up. You could do worse, but a lot of people want something incredibly powerful from a massager, and this one sacrifices power for duality. After all, the whole thing is less than nine inches long, which is smaller than pretty much any massager without “mini” in the name, including the Magic Wand Original.

The functions are controlled by three buttons: an overall power button and one button for each side. The button “pointing” to the motor you’re using is the one you want to use, which is intuitive enough. They’re completely flat without a lot of tactile feedback about the position of the buttons other than the slightly raised label of each button. As a result, you could potentially have difficulty finding the right button, especially if your fingers are coated in lube, which I recommend using due to the drag of the silicone. Fortunately, I didn’t run into this problem, and I was rewarded with a satisfying click when I pushed the buttons.

Nevertheless, I found myself a bit frustrated with the actual function of the buttons. With only a single button, you must either cycle through all of them to move “down” a setting if you accidentally press the button one too many times. Alternatively, you can turn it off and start all over, which may actually be faster in some instances. This needing to cycle seems to be common with Funnze toys, and I expressed my disappointment with the Finger Vibe. With this toy, you’ll also need to use a motor’s button to turn it back off if you want to switch which function you’re using. The three buttons do let you control the motors independently–and I can’t see why you’d want them both on at once–but they definitely could be better.

The buttons also stand out because the double-sided vibrator is the only one with these particular backlit flat buttons. Other Funzze toys have bubble buttons that are are surrounded by a circle of light or not lit at all. As a whole, the offerings from this brand lack cohesion. While I received a black vibrator, product photos indicate that a purple one existed at some point, even if it’s unavailable now. That purple better matches some of Funzze’s other toys. There are two other toys with the same aesthetic of black silicone and the metallic-looking band. One is another double-ended vibrator with a rabbit instead of a G-spotter. Some sort of metallic decoration is common on Funzze toys, but it’s not necessarily the same color. Many are silver, but I’d say this one is closer to a pale rose gold.

The double-headed wand vibrator is fully covered in silicone, aside from the band, making it waterproof and, as a result, easy to clean and able to join you in the shower. There’s a port on the back of the vibrator for charging, and the website says it will charge fully in two hours, but I haven’t had to charge it at all. There’s no hint as to how long the charge will last, likely because this depends on whether you’re using one or both motors.

My final thoughts are conflicted. While this vibrator didn’t deliver on all of its promises to me, it is a decent G-spot toy, and you can also use that end for clitoral stimulation if you need more pressure, as I do. And at $32, you’re really not going to find a ton of rechargeable silicone vibrators. Some battery-powered vibrators cost more. So even if you absolutely hate one of the functions, it’s still kind of a steal.

And, if you want to save even more, Funzze, is currently running their Black Friday sale until December 2nd.

  • Save 40% off orders $80+ with code: BF40
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  • Save 20% off orders $30+ with code: BF20

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

A Toy a Day #4: Miracle Massager

November 2nd, 2016

The Miracle Massager was the fist wand massager that I ever tried, and it remains the one that I use most consistently. That is, to say,  I reach for it when I want to get off quickly with external pressure and without needing to strip down or lube up. It’s not that often; although, I’ve used it a few times this summer/fall.

When I first got the Miracle Massager, I appreciated its strength and rumblier vibrations. I liked the flat-ish head, which has a rounded edge that I press against my vulva for stimulation that’s more pinpointed and offers more pressure. However, the PVC material is porous and has since become discolored.

The Miracle Massager is not as powerful as the Hitachi, which I have since swapped away, and I actually prefer it that way. The Hitachi is just overwhelming while the Miracle Massager provides noticeably more power than anything that runs on batteries.  In fact, there are still days when my clitoris is too sensitive or I would need ample warming up for the Miracle Massager to not feel uncomfortable. But when my body is into it, it provides quick and easy orgasms — and usually multiples. I’ve had some fairly lengthy sessions with this vibrator.

The shape of the head of the Miracle Massager is important, too. The Hitachi and other toys are simply too round, and they lack the springy neck that allows me to push the handle away from my body to grind the head harder against it.

If the Miracle Massager could be quieter and smaller but offer all these same perks, I might never leave my home.

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Categories: A Toy A Day

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Lelo Smart Wand Large

November 29th, 2014

Lelo Smart Wand Large
$177 from Hush

Lelo is certainly good at creating attractive products. The Smart Wands are perfect examples of this. Pretty much every other wand massager I’ve used has been a shade of hideous worthy of Medusa. Lelo’s offerings aren’t.

Lelo also decided to go the way of cordless, which means this is a rechargeable wand. I’ve only used one rechargeable wand, but I definitely wasn’t impressed with it. In fact, it’s on my swap list. I felt pretty confident that Lelo’s option would beat out that rechargeable wand, but would it be as good as — or any better — than typical plug-in wands?

I wanted the best chance for success, so I skipped right by the medium. Both options are certainly pricey, but the large costs $60 more than medium, which Lelo sells directly for $129. Hush sells the large Smart Wand for $199 CAD, or around $177 USD. Of course, you’d expect a high price point like this from Lelo.

You’d also expect the wand to be covered in body-safe silicone. It is. You can’t toss this in your dishwasher, but you can spray with bleach. The silicone covers the majority of the toy. It’s loser around the thin neck. There’s a silver plastic panel on the handle. I noticed that where the silicone tucks into this piece at the base, it’s not super secure. I can push the silicone in and get my fingernail under the edge of the piece. I guess I happen to hold the wand in a way that makes this possible. It could be more secure, but it’s attractive and likely not a deal-breaker.

Smart Wand next to Miracle Massager and Inspire

Smart Wand next to Miracle Massager and Inspire

The controls on this toy are the typical Lelo style, which makes them quite different from the switches and buttons on most wands. This also means there’s more modes than typical wands. In fact, I’ve never used a wand that is able to pulsate or escalate, I don’t think. But I’m not a big fan of all those fancy modes, so I stick to the steady vibes. The vibrations in this are rather rumbly — the type I like. But they’re also not as strong as any plug-in vibrator. That’s just not possible. The highest setting is definitely lower than that of any corded vibe I’ve got. One of the benefits of the Smart Wands, however, is the option to switch between lowest and highest. You typically don’t get more than two or three settings with most wands, and this could be a serious selling point.

But I can’t wholly recommend the large Smart Wand because it is, well, large. It’s the largest of all the wands I have, both in overall size and in the size of the head. In the comparison photo is the Miracle Massager and the Inspire. The Smart Wand just seems like a behemoth in comparison, and it feels incredibly bulky during use. The hand thins toward the centers but then grows wider again toward the base, so it feels awkward when I hold it. And the head is so large and rounded that I just feel like I can’t get enough or the right kind of pressure.

It took me a long time to build up to orgasm, and while the vibrations were enough to do the trick, shape it also incredibly important for me. Lelo’s Smart Wand might be worth the money if your focus is on convenience, depth of vibes and luxury, but I can’t see myself reaching for this toy over one of the smaller and easier to use options that I already have, even if I’m tethered to them by a cord.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Cutey Wand

June 22nd, 2012

Cutey Wand

Cutey Wand
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I don’t own very many wands. There used to be, like, two: the Hitachi and the Hitachi knockoff. Now, there’s a lot. There are luxury ones, rechargeable wands, and mini options, like the Cutey Wand. So, the Cutey Wand. It’s tiny and got little jewels on the end. I’ll give it cute. I’ll give it wand-shaped. The naming isn’t spectacular by any means, but it’s not quite as annoying as we’ve all seen.

When I say tiny, I mean slightly longer than my finger. This is a pretty travel-friendly toy, if you only consider size. The dial base isn’t the easiest to accidentally turn on while sitting in your purse, but there’s no lock feature. Like the larger cousins, the Cutey Wand has a flexible head. It’s extremely flexible, in fact. You might not like this if you like a lot of pressure, which I do.

The head has a soft silicone casing with ridges along the side. I have to be honest, I’m not sure what the ridges are supposed to do. They’re visually interesting.. sort of, but they don’t add anything. I’m more likely to use the very top of the head or maybe the top edge. The head doesn’t have as much of a surface area as a larger wand, but I’m probably going to hold it in place rather than move it so I can feel the texture. It’s also potentially a place for you to miss when cleaning the wand, which is a bit frustrating.

However, cleaning is much easier because the Cutey Wand is water-resistant. You don’t want to try to drown it, but you can breathe easy that you’re not going to break it if you rinse off some gunk under the faucet. This is thanks to the O-ring at the end of the battery compartment, which easily screws on.

And those batteries? They’re six watch batteries. If they fall out, it’s really a hassle to get them back in there. You might consider just throwing it away once you use up the batteries, because it’s such a pain. Because the wand uses tiny watch batteries that won’t last forever, I can see this being the type of vibe that winds up in the bottom of some drawer after you use up the included batteries. It’s probably not a good selling point, but it’s true.

Those six batteries take up enough space that Blush Novelties could’ve just used a single AAA or AA. That would probably offer more power. The vibrations are advertised as powerful, but they’re quite buzzy. The few extra batteries are an improvement over those tiny bullets, but there’s not enough variation between the lower and highest settings. Of course, this one doesn’t have any pulsation or other settings, which is fine by me. I usually find them forgettable.

So, aside from size, I’m not really floored by the Cutey wand. At the very least, I want something stronger, and even if I were okay with the vibrations, the sheer number of required batteries is ridiculous. I mean, you have to buy two three-packs every time your vibrator dies. That’s not cool, man, not cool.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager

June 8th, 2011

Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

So, I’m into new and unusual things and the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager from California Exotics fits the bill pretty well. It’s a wand-style toy that rotates and vibrates, and it’s all decked out in pink and black. The specific model I received is straight-handled. The handle is about 1.5 the length of my fist so it’s not like the size of a Hitachi or anything. It’s fairly small. This small toy is powered by two AAA batteries that insert into the end of the handle after the pink cap screws off. There’s one of those ribbons to aid you in removing batteries–although I usually find them to get in the way–and a small O-ring around the battery compartment.

Toward the top of the handle, where it begins to narrow, is a silver band for no other reason than to look pretty. I have to admit, I am a fan of the rock and roll chic appeal but I prefer the other toys in the line ever-so-slightly. The head consists of a bright pink TPR that is squishy and velvety. There is a row of oblong bulges that encircle the top of the head. I guess the idea of texture is interesting but perhaps not as functional as Cal Exotics would have you think.

There is a single push button at the base of the rotating massager. One push starts the rotating, a second shifts direction and a third turns it off. Although there is supposed to be vibration in addition to rotation, I could only feel the motor straining inside the handle of the wand. The rotation itself is interesting. It sort of reminds me of the Sasi. It’s an interesting feeling that is somewhat akin to oral but, you know, not exactly. Of course, the problem with this function is that you cannot press the head of the massage against you without forcing the movement to stop. This may also be problematic for you if you’re fleshier. You’ll have to push your labia out of the way. It doesn’t lend itself well to pressure or intense stimulation. While I kind of like the idea, it’s just not enough to get me off.

In use, I really didn’t find the ability to switch direction was effective. Actually, it somewhat hurt to switch direction which makes very little sense. Regardless, a toy like the Sasi is more creative in terms of movement and overall, preferable. Another reason I prefer it is that I can turn off the movement of the ball, when I’m sufficiently aroused, and just use the vibration to get off.

You’ll definitely want to use lube to aid the rotation and keep things comfortable. The texture holds it well, perhaps too well. After I was done, I cringed as I had to scrub the lube out from the tiny crevices in the head of the Divine Inspiration Rotating Massager. I’d really like something a little less time-consuming when it comes to washing.

In fact, I’d have to say that, ultimately, this sex toy is more like an electric lube applicator than anything else.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Miracle Massager

February 21st, 2009

Miracle Massager
$55.59 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Psst, are you wondering if I still enjoy the Miracle Massager? Check out my updated thoughts in my “A Toy A Day” feature!

My methods of masturbation have always involved more pressure than vibration alone and I began to think that perhaps I didn’t even like vibration. Then I wondered if maybe the toys I was using simply weren’t strong enough and I began to seriously consider the wand style vibrators. Perhaps I simply needed something incredibly strong like the Hitachi, except I just couldn’t over how ugly most of those sex toys were and the resemblance to a microphone certainly was a turn off as well. So I opted for something I thought would be powerful enough, knowing I could always invest in Hitachi at a later point, but the Miracle Massager was better looking. And, with it’s black and red colour scheme and ergonomically curved handle, the Miracle Massage really is the best looking of this type of vibrator in my opinion.

I’m not sure if I can say the Miracle Massager is actually miraculous; nevertheless, it certainly is wonderful. The first day alone, I used it for at least 30 minutes. I used it until I simply couldn’t use it anymore, lest my vulva fall off. I ended up sweaty and tired and had numerous orgasms. You can probably tell I am a fan of the Miracle Massager. I’m glad I tried something different; I’ve been trying to expand from my normal toys and I’ve had a lot of different experiences. This is definitely one of the better ones.

So, how does this differ from insertable vibes? Well, it’s not insertable for one. It plugs in. It has a cylindrical, PVC head which is the only part which you use to stimulate yourself (the rest being handle) and the vibration is spread out over a larger surface. The head rests on a spring which allows movement, unlike some similar vibes. It’s ergonomically designed (the handle is curved). It’s much larger than most vibes. And it’s really freaking strong.

And are these differences notable? You betcha!

I’m a clit girl anyway so I wasn’t missing anything by not being able to insert the Miracle Massager. However, they are some insertable attachments. I would say this is the only real bone I have to pick: the Hitachi has a million quality attachments while the Miracle Massager has only a handful, most of which seem lame.

Relying on a cord plugged into the wall for power as opposed to batteries resulted in a lot stronger vibrations. The Miracle Massager has a high and low setting, the latter which seems to match the high setting on some of my battery powered toys and the former which is, well, much higher. So far, I’ve found the high setting to be the most pleasurable but I don’t like to use it on bare skin: I prefer the stimulation through a thin pair of yoga-type pants. The cord is something which does take a bit of adjustment. I have an outlet perfectly situated in the bedroom but I actually wound up pulling the plug out of the wall in my ‘throes of passion’ in the living room. I have since then made a mental note to use an extension cord. Overall, however, the cord has not been detrimental to my play time.

I actually don’t like pinpoint vibrations (again, the pressure) so I found the shape of the head to be amazing (PVC might not be the safest material, however. I also found that the red PVC seemed to pick up a black ‘stain’ – probably from the pants I wore while using this). I use this with the flat part of the head against my vulva and clitoris while the handle extends outward. I’m pretty sure it’s a unique way to use a toy like this but it allows me to apply a lot of pressure as well as use the..

Spring! This is definitely a highlight of the toy. The strong spring allows me to bend this toy as much as I need and also to apply a rocking sensation as I grind against the Miracle Massager. With many toys which have some bend/give, I wind up breaking them. I am happy to say this is not the issue. The spring is very thick and I have no fear of it breaking. Although the spring does not stick out, it’s not exactly covered so be wary of your hair which some have had pulled by the spring.

I had no issues with the design of the handle. It’s ridged and definitely easy to hold. Because you don’t need to lube it up, it doesn’t slip. The button slides from Off to Low or High and is easy to use. I’m not sure if it’s necessarily as ergonomic as the makers would likely have you believe but it is more appealing to the eye than straight handles.

Although the Magic Massager is larger than most toys, the box actually doesn’t suggest it. This toy comes in a rectangular cardboard box and sits inside a plastic tray. The box doesn’t waste a lot of space and I was actually surprised at how small it is. I was worried about the size and weight of this toy because my fingers and wrists can be lame but it has not been an issue.

And did I mention it’s strong? I don’t know if it can stand up to the Hitachi but it’s definitely the strongest toy I have used and works just fine for me.

A couple side notes – cleaning is really minimum because it’s not insertable and the head is smooth – just wipe down the head with toy cleaner, wipes or soap and water (on a washcloth probably). Storage is easy because I don’t have to worry about it not touching other toys and it seems to be pretty sturdy. I could easily shove it under the bed and not have to worry about it picking up lint. It doesn’t fit in my Devine Storage Box so that’s a shame but it’s not my biggest concern. Using for 30 minutes or more at a time, I have not experienced any uncomfortable (over)heating.

Overall, I have no real complaints about this toy. It provided me with everything I expected and the spring definitely put it into the “and more” category. It’s powerful, as attractive as these toys can be, and more affordable than some toys which do a whole lot of nothing. If you’re interested in something with souped up vibrations, definitely check out the Miracle Massager!

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

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Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.