Satisfyer (Pro 2, 2, Pro Penguin) Comparison Review

June 27th, 2017

Satisfyer Pro 2, Pro Penguin and 2
$49-$69 from Of Sex and love Store

I’m a little late on this whole pulsating-air-clitoral-stimulator craze. To be honest, I wasn’t super interested. I’m not typically a direct clit stim girl, usually preferring a broader/rounder sort of stimulation on my entire vulva. And the toy that came out first, well, it has a terrible name (Womanizer).

But when the Satisfyer company contacted me about a review, I said “Sure.” I didn’t expect much, to be honest. So when three different models (Satisfyer Pro 2, Satisfyer Penguin and Satisfyer 2) showed up, I was pretty excited at having the chance to compare them. And when I realized that I didn’t really know how they worked, so I quickly stuck my fingers in the holes to see.

Oh.em.gee.

The sucking mechanism (or pressure wave, if you will) of the Satisfyer toys immediately seemed like something that would feel good. Amazing. God-like.

And maybe it is — just not for me. In order to enjoy any of the Satisfyer toys, you should probably enjoy direct clitoral stimulation. As I mentioned above and in a plethora of reviews, I am not that sort of person. Ultimately, I wound up feeling aroused, adjusting to the suction, turning each toy all the way up and.. waiting. Before awkwardly grinding against the body of the toy to get off.

Suction alone just isn’t enough to get me off. I don’t think this concept marries well with my style of masturbating.

But let’s back up.

All the Satisfiers are devices with hard plastic shells. There’s something of a nozzle on the head, into which a silicone piece slips. This leaves a hole that you place over your clitoris, or potentially nipple, and suction comes from within the device in steady pulses. This direct stimulation is going to be too much for some people to handle, and there’s not really a way to dial it back like you might by using a vibratnig through underwear or clothing. All three toys are waterproof, but I don’t use toys in water.

Satisfyer 2

Satisfyer 2, cousin to a thermometer?

The Satisfyer 2 is, by far, the most medicinal-looking of the models. Someone might easily mistake one of these toys for an ear thermometer if they saw it sitting in your bathroom and didn’t actually handle it. You might think this makes it the least sexy of all the Satisfyer devices, but I actually think this title should be left to the Satisfyer Pro Penguin because its animal shape make me feel.. weird.

satisfyer pro penguin

Never before have animal shapes bothered me on a sex toy

This model is definitely longer and wider (at the head) than either the Pro Penguin or Satisfyer Pro 2. The Pro 2 is definitely the newer, streamlined option. It’s less boxy and more ergonomic – and the gold-and-white color scheme is inverted. A note on the Satisyer Pro 2: there are two different versions available under the same name. If yours has the embossed name on the handle, it’s the newer model that also happens to be quieter than the old version.

If you use either the Satisfyer 2 or Pro 2, you can aim the handle toward your belly button to reach the buttons, which are on top. However, that placement feels awkward for me. I’ve rarely had a clitoral toy where this wasn’t the case, though. The Penguin is curvy and smaller, nearly fitting in my hand. If I turn it handle-up, I can use my thumb to reach the buttons that are technically on the underside of the toy, and this is the most comfortable usage for me. I might be alone in this.

Satisfyer 2 alone has three buttons: power, plus, and minus. The others simply have two, which I prefer, one for on/off and one for cycling through the settings. The Satysfier Pro 2’s buttons make quite the loud clicking noise in use.

satisfyer pro 2

Satisfyer Pro 2 has a curvier design and more plush nozzle

Each has a removable silicone head for ease of cleaning (you’re still going to want to wipe down the exterior and inner hole of the plastic, however). The silicone nozzle on the Satisfyer 2 is in between the Penguin and Satisfyer Pro 2 in terms of which. The Pro 2 is quite thick and wide like a donut. The Penguin has the thinnest and smallest nozzle. But the inner tubes are actually sized opposite, with the Penguin having the largest circumference, the Satisfyer 2 in the middle, and the Satisfier Pro 2 having the snuggest fit.

Nozzles of the Satisfyer Pro 2, 2 and Pro Penguins

Nozzles of the Satisfyer Pro 2, 2 and Pro Penguins

The last way that the older Satisfyer model differs is in noise. It’s much louder than the other two, sounding akin to a small kitchen appliance. I think the Penguin is the quietest of the two, but the difference between it and the Satisfyer Pro 2 is less than the difference between either of those two and the Satisfyer 2.

The Satisfyer 2 is the only model that I received to try that ran on batteries — 2 AAAs. So it took a while for me to try it out because, apparently, it’s too much work to grab my already-charged batteries and insert them. Fortunately, the Satisfyer 2 works with rechargeables.

While I am not usually a fan of something that runs on AAAs, it seems like the suction mechanism of the Satisfyer toys isn’t decreased nearly as much vibrations do on a battery-operated toy. In fact, I think the Satisfyer 2 might be stronger than the Satisfyer Pro Penguin, and the motor does have the highest decibel rating of all the Satisfyer models, but it’s harder for me to discern power level between the toys and even between the levels on a single toy.

The Satisfyer comes with 11 levels, but I can’t really tell the difference. I can only confirm this by turning it all the way up and then backing down level by level. But to my clit or nipple, it’s not a huge difference. Once I get past the fourth level or so, they all feel pretty much the same. I think this is because the frequency of the suction has increased so much that it’s hard to differentiate between each pulse. As you can guess, I’m not thoroughly impressed by the different levels on the Satisfyer toys, and that’s how I feel about vibrators, too. 3-5 more distinct levels would be the better option here.

Although telling apart the toys via suction levels is difficult, it’s easier based on the way the size and shape of the silicone compartment feels. The silicone head of the Satisfyer Pro 2 is squishier, but the tube is also a tighter fit, making it easy to tell when it’s in place. The thinner silicone of the Penguin means you can more easily feel the rigid plastic behind it, but you can definitely feel that the inner chamber is wider. I think I like the shape and size of the silicone head of the Satisfyer 2 the best because it lands squarely in the middle in terms of squishiness and snugness.

But even having tried these three toys leaves me somewhat at a loss for words when it comes to recommending them. If you’ve never tried anything like the Satisfyer, I’m not sure how to compare it. I know you should like direct clitoral stimulation.

Nevertheless, it’s hard to recommend one of the specific models. The Satisfyer 2 and Penguin feel pretty similar suction-wise. If you were really opposed to batteries, I’d recommend the Penguin. It also feels the best in my hand.

It’s pretty difficult to recommend a toy based on head size/shape/angle, though. I think you just need to try them (I did, and I’m not sure if there’s one that I prefer). Unfortunately, Satisfyer doesn’t make their toys with multiple-sized heads like the competition, so I’d advise checking them out if you’re curious about size.

Satisfyer models are cheaper than the Womanizer, so it might be a safer bet if you’re not sure about the concept.

Dangerous Lilly has a fantastic comparison chart and write-up of the different Satisfyer and Womanizer models (which I have yet to try) on her blog. She also has photos of the various heads, which you’ll find helpful. We both seem to enjoy the Satisfyer 2 for what it’s worth.

I’m not sure I’ve ever come across a toy that was so difficult to recommend based on either experience or specs. That’s probably why so many people seem to have tried these or similar toys.

If you want to try any of the Satisfyers, you have plenty of options. They still sell the Pro 2 and Pro Penguin, although the Satisfyer 2 is no longer available.

6 Comments

Categories: Reviews

Lelo Lily 2

February 27th, 2016

Lily 2
$139 from Lelo

The original Lily was one of the most disappointing vibrators I’ve ever tried to get off with. This is twofold. One, it was one of the first — if not the very first — expensive vibrator that I bought for myself (perhaps even a Christmas gift?) and it was something I’d lusted over for, perhaps, years.

When I got the thing, it was sleek. I was probably still impressed with Lelo’s packaging at the time, which has thankfully been updated to something less bulky and more eco-friendly, but I still didn’t keep it. The problems with Lily were obvious from the start. The two buttons are placed on the underside of the toy, the side that will rest against your mons during masturbation and sex. And the vibrators? I’d be better off humping a wall while my asshole neighbors throw a party.

Lelo decided to fix exactly one of those problems — the vibrations — by using a better motor this go around. And it’s high time! It’s been something like 6 or 7 years since I first tried Lily. The new Lily feels at least twice as strong but, and perhaps more importantly, the vibrations feel deeper than I remember the original being.

They’ve done nothing for the horrendous placement of the buttons, however. The company has also added a unique feature that exactly zero people were clamoring for (and that pretty much everyone has laughed at): the Lily 2 is now scented.

But I’m curious or brave or simply amused, and I signed myself right up to review the Lily 2.

All things considered, it wasn’t nearly as disappointing at the original Lily. The vibrations on high are comparable to the highest setting or the first Siri; although, the vibrations start much weaker and are generally buzzier. I don’t love it as much as either of my Siris, which are solid little clitoral vibrators that show Lelo really can do something right, but the power boost means I can get off with Lily 2… as long as I turn it up high and leave it in place because those damned buttons are really in the worst possible place. Guys, everyone gives Jimmyjane crap for the form 6 but this is so.much.worse.

But the vibrations — all 8 settings are steady vibration — are decent if a bit boring. I’ve never been on to enjoy all those extra settings, though, so this isn’t a dealbreaker for me, personally. I was able to get off while applying a fair amount of pressure. The flatness of the Lily 2 isn’t exactly ideal for honing in on that spot between labia like some other toys, including Siri and Eva, which I will be writing a review for here soon.

As far as the one feature that Lelo has been touting.. I don’t hate it, honestly. I carefully chose the dark plum colored Lily 2, which is Chocolat & Bordeau scented.  I don’t like the smell of wine or how chocolate scented things usually smell, but I more passionately dislike floral scents, so this seemed the best option. I’m not sure that it smells exactly like the name suggests, but it’s honestly not that bad. It’s quite faint, so you have to hold it to your nose to smell it. I don’t even smell it when using it, and that’s kind of the conundrum here. I’m not offended, but it literally adds nothing to the experience, unless maybe you’re using it on someone else and your face is close to the thing.

I think you can see why this marketing angle makes no sense. What Lelo should be playing up is the increased strength and the fact that Lily is now waterproof because people seem to care about that… for reasons that escape me. Especially considering how difficult it is for people to understand the concept of adding scent to a vibrator and whether that it good for us or not. Personally, I don’t feel like it’s a con, but it’s not exactly a pro, either.

Lily 2 far more of a success than its predecessor simply because of its improved vibrations, but for $20 more, you can get a fantastic experience from the Siri 2. Or you could opt for the unique features of Ora 1 & 2, which aren’t up everyone’s alley. But at least the feature is noticeable even if you don’t like it? I don’t know. I did.

4 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Fun Factory Flora

August 10th, 2014

Fun Factory Flora
$90 from Good Vibes

A couple years ago, fun Factory released a line or two or smaller toys. These included Bubbles and the Mini line, of which  I reviewed the Ocean. They all boasted the fine craftsmanship of Fun Factory in addition to the company’s bright colors, which we all know and love.

The company has come out with a new bunch of products after the Stronic Eins, and they use the same control setup. I think Fun Factory simply wanted to created some small vibes that use the same control panel type. The company does it periodically. I’ve seen a number of button setups for Fun Factory toys.  Remember when FF toys used that unique dial? Yeaaa. They’ve come a long way since then. The original Paul and Paulina wasn’t any better, either.

For a while, the company was creating toys with three buttons. Two were the typically to control the toy while the last worked as a boost, one of the things Fun Factory is known for. However, buttons on the Big Boss and Yooo were much harder to push than they should have been, especially when you have to press two at a time. Fun Factory’s Flora uses the same 3-button setup, but they’re smooth — almost beveled looking — and much easier to push. The control panel no longer lights up when you touch it, which I liked but seemed not to work consistently.

However, a two-button setup would’ve been fine. The third button, which features the Fun Factory logo, simply acts as a master power switch. If you touch one of the other buttons while the toy is off, the third one lights up to let you know to press it. Kind of useless. I also think the + and – buttons should be switched so the – button is toward the bottom of the toy.  In fact, they’re printed upside down. The thought is that you’ll look down and it will be right-side-up, but I can’t even see toys because of my short arms, and most toys use the other arrangement.

Flora starts at the last setting you had it on. There are a number of steady vibrating levels. The lowest is the deepest, and the highest definitely tickles my hand uncomfortably. Fun Factory has put better motors in other toys. If you keep pressing the + button, it changes modes.

  • Up and down escalation
  • Fast up/down escalation
  • Faster escalation
  • Fast pulsation
  • Low vibe/Fast pulse
  • Varied pulsation

The modes are different, which makes them interesting especially the last setting. The last one is especially different, but the escalation is redundant.

It seems a little loud — louder than the Siri, for example — for the power output.

Like the Stronic, this one uses a two-contact magnetic charger. The contact points are at the end of the base, which is rounded. I find this to be awkward. If the Flora is sitting on a table, it is tricky to line up the magnet and cable, which will have to bend to stay in position. This makes it waterproof, but I don’t personally require this.

My pink Flora reminds me an awful lot of the Fun Factory Curve. It collects lint, attracts hungry cats and needs a little bit of lube to feel slick.

My biggest peeve with this vibe might simply be that I’m not sure what it’s intended for. With just four inches to insert and a diameter of just over 1 inch, it feels far too small inserted. But it doesn’t need to be this size or generally phallic for external stimulation. I can’t tell if Flora is a stupidly giant pocket rocket or a tiny g-spot vibe. It did neither thing well for me. I do think the ridged design is fun and would be great if this were larger.

At $90, I can name a number of rechargeable internal and clitoral vibes that would be a better deal. The Laya Spot is a better option if you don’t need rechargeable or super strength. We Vibe’s Tango is a much better clitoral vibe. The Lovelife Cuddle is a better g-spot vibe that costs less than $70, too.

8 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Platinum Edition G-Bliss

October 12th, 2013

PLATINUM G-BLISS BLUE

PLATINUM G-BLISS BLUE
$22.30 from Of Sex and Love Store

This is a weird vibe, and not for any reasons that you’d notice on the outside. It looks like a slew of other vibes that CEN has released before. But the features — of lack there of — are kinda weird. You see, there’s no steady vibration, and while my G-spot certainly responds to pulsation, I generally prefer the sensation of steady vibrations.

What you have instead are escalation like an airplane, escalation like a race car, escalation like a car that’s about to break down, pulsation like a bumblebee, fast pulsation, longer pulsations, fast-fast-slow pulsation and something that I’m pretty sure is Morse code.

Some of them just seem too similar for me, and while the pulsation is decent due to the power source — 2 AAs — I don’t want fancy. I can’t bring myself to care that this is waterproof when it doesn’t do what I want outside of the water. I just want what works. This is all controlled by heart-shape buttons. Gag me, and not in the erotic way.

I also found that the shaft doesn’t work for me. It’s just under 1 1/4 inches wide, and I feel like I want something bigger these days. The little wave on the shaft doesn’t extend enough to reach the clit, so it’s just for looks, but I’m not sold on the look of this vibe.

The target demographic is just not me. It also seems like this toy is geared toward beginners with its price tag of less than $25. In fact, it really seems like a step down from some of the company’s recent efforts, which use silicone and rechargeable vibrators. There are words embossed on the base about recycling and such, information that’s on the box and certainly doesn’t need to be on the toy itself. The use of this translucent TPR seems like a way to produce a cheap toy, especially after this recent discussion about TPR on Twitter, but this is ultimately one of those toys that I would advise shoppers to get only if they’re not absolutely sure that they like toys.

 

CEN Sexpert

 

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Categories: Reviews

Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Tor II

February 21st, 2012

Tor II

Tor II
from

This has been superseded by the Tor 3.

So Lelo sent me Tor II. It’s one of those toys that I would be a little more interested in if I had a partner, you know? I’ve never had a lot of luck with cock rings, to begin with. The cheap ones collected lint, got slimy and tore. Vibrating ones were too weak, and they’ve been a bitch to get on. My ex, as it turns out, kind of hated them (although he didn’t tell me), so I think we quickly gave up on the idea. But I figured I’d give the Tor II a try and, because I currently have no partner, I popped it on my favorite silicone cock.

What you need to know about Tex is that it’s squishy, perhaps more than an erect cock would be, and it’s got a diameter of 1.5″–middle-of-the-road stuff. Yet, there was no way I was going to get the Tor II on this without some lube. So, lube it up I did. I used a water-based lube because while a high-quality silicone lube may not have reacted with the ring, I sure as hell am more careful when it comes to my VixSkin. I’ve been growing out my nails, though, and I feel like the Tor II is just not quite stretchy enough. My nails were digging into the dildo. How would a person like it on their penis? I’ll give you a hint: they wouldn’t.

The thing is, I don’t think that silicone can be as stretchy as some other materials, and I’m not sure how thin it can be before it breaks. Which means that you’re not going to want to use this cock ring on a cock much larger than the dildo I used. Granted, it may be easier on a flaccid penis, but bringing in the testicles is going to present its own pair of challenges — haha — and the whole experience requires a bit of time and patience and just isn’t fun. Plus, the ring is actually a flat-ish silicone band that’s about 1/2″ wide so you have to make sure it’s not inside out. One thing I found interesting is that the band of the ring isn’t a flat strip. On the top and bottom, it angles inward, toward the penis. I don’t think it’s something you would feel, but it bugs me when I clean it. I just don’t understand why it’s not flat.

So, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and my imaginary VixSkin man was in pain, but I got it on. And then I turned it on, which wasn’t so easy either. By that time, my fingers were covered in lube and, as I said, I have fingernails now. The buttons are round and slightly concave areas on either side of the cock ring. Like the new third button on JeJoue’s Uma, Mimi, etc. The design is just really hard for me to use, and frustration isn’t sexy.

But if your fingers fit better, the buttons make sense. There’s only two of them. + and -. If you can’t figure out how to use them, you probably couldn’t figure out how to open the box so just walk away. Speaking of the box, mine advertises a dark green toy. Because it was part of the first batch, this was an error. Mine is a pretty medium purple. I don’t mind it but I was just surprised.

So I turned this on and right up to the highest steady vibration level because the vibrations are pretty weak and buzzy. I mean, there’s more impressive than some bullets and the other vibrating rings that I’ve used, but I generally opt for clitoral vibrations that are more noticeable. Even though I wasn’t impressed, my body responded more than I thought, and there were some minuscule orgasms even before I started my real experimentation.

As I guessed, thrusting wasn’t super fun. I don’t enjoy the buzz/no-buzz/buzz/no-buzz sensation. I prefer constant contact until I get off, damn it! However, I was super surprised that the shape of the ring worked so well for me. It’s square and wide and horizontal and I figured my fluffy vulva would just get in the way. What I found out, though, is that if I am able to hold the dildo still (or if a partner were to stay still), I can grind up against the base of the dildo and the Tor II pretty successfully. The width actually provides a broader contact space, which I do like. It also helped the vibrations to more deeply resonate in my body. The buzzy vibrations left the pulsation and escalation feeling more lackluster, though.

Despite the hassle, I can see myself using this with a dildo again. I can see myself using it often. It was different and grinding against it was pretty damned pleasurable. The smaller size wasn’t fighting for space with the base of the dildo, either. The problem is, this is designed for couples, but I feel like it’s not actually going to do much good while you’re thrusting. Unless you enjoy general vibrations in the sort-of genital area, you’ll probably be disappointed. It works for me as a masturbatory aid, but I wouldn’t spend $120 on something that isn’t a bit more versatile.

However, it is rechargeable and waterproof and comes with a storage pouch and Lelo’s warranty. If you’re a collector of Lelo’s products or already know that you like cock rings and are sensitive to light vibrations, then this may be a good option for you.

3 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Pure Silicone B.O.B.

October 15th, 2010

Pure Silicone B.O.B.

Pure Silicone B.O.B.
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

I am at a point in my sex life where I generally prefer silicone toys. They’re safer. They’re versatile. They come in awesome colours. When a sex toy store wants me to do a review, but they don’t carry any silicone, I doubt whether I want to work with them, but let me say this: silicone alone is not a great toy make. Really, a mediocre design will not be saved by the material.

California Exotic’s Pure Silicone B.O.B. falls squarely into this category. It’s a realistically designed, phallic vibrator in silicone. Mine came in a bright pink. I mean bright. It has a vein-like texture, a contoured head and expands in a ball-inspired toward the design. This expansion is complete with a few dozen soft poky things.

They are, as you can imagine, useless. They don’t really stimulate the entrance to my vagina and the toy isn’t flexible enough that I can bend it toward my clit. The testicle design doesn’t offer anything physically, either. You might use it to grasp the toy, however. The shaft is slightly flexible. I say this because around the halfway mark, you can tell that the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is covering some hard structure inside. When I would clench or tried to bend the toy as mentioned, this hard structure was uncomfortable against my G-spot but I simply prefer toys that are a little softer in that area. You can probably achieve about 30 degrees of bending.

In use, I found the toy to just be a little small. It only has a diameter of 1.14″. It may be good for beginners but not me, personally. The small shaft is straight and the difference between the shaft and head size is smaller than I am used to. I had a hard time stimulating my G-spot with this vibrator and that’s pretty unusual.

However, its easy to use. There’s a single power button that turns it on or off and another button to cycle through the settings. If you press the second button when the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is off, it will turn on. It’s an interesting toy because it remembers the setting you left it on. I find this interesting but not necessarily practical because it confuses me as to which setting it will be on. Maybe it’s just me, but starting on a low, steady vibe makes sense and helps to orient me.

Anyway, I’d be more oriented if I could tell the settings apart and.. it’s super hard. The Pure Silicone B.O.B. uses 2AA batteries but I was not expecting the vibrations to as buzzy as they are. I mean, if you didn’t know better, you’d almost expect this to use a single AAA battery or even watch batteries. It’s ridiculous. I have no idea why you’d create a vibrator that uses 2 AAs but not make it use them to their full potential.

I’m not lying when I say that I can only tell the settings apart by sound. They all feel exactly the same. There’s supposedly “10 extreme functions of vibration, pulsation, and escalation” but all I feel is one: not strong or deep enough. So while this is waterproof, I cannot imagine using it in the shower and actually being able to feel the vibrations.

The waterproof aspect makes it easy to clean, however. You can rinse away and lubes (water-based only) and give it a good scrub.

Ultimately, the Pure Silicone B.O.B. is certainly not my battery-operated best friend. I’m not sure that calling it “buddy” is even all that applicable. It’s more like the guy at the party who likes you but doesn’t get the hint that the feelings aren’t shared. Sorry, BOB.

CEN Sexpert

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

lingerie

Lussuria Rechargeable Vibrator

April 29th, 2010

Rechargeable Vibrator Lussuria 7inch

Rechargeable Vibrator Lussuria 7inch
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

By now, most of you have heard of the Vida vibrators, a new line of silicone+metal sex toys with fancy designs and an impressive site to boot. They’re working hard at PR, too, with a mysterious Twitter account and appearances with celebrities. They really want you to believe that these vibrators–Lussuria, Vanta, Zara, and Urja–are the new “it” thing, and I admit, I was drawn in, and in case you are too, here’s the low down.

Vida vibrators are made of silicone and anodized aluminum. The metal part does have a sort of plastic-y look, even in person, but a tap with a fingernail proves otherwise. It looks particularly rigid up close. In addition to this, my Vida Lussuria is quite the hefty piece, but I wouldn’t call it unwieldy because the weight is compacted into a 7″ frame, which isn’t bulky in the least.

Lussuria’s design is one that curves gently outward from a thin (.79″ diameter), straight shaft in the center to produce two bulbous ends. While the ends are thicker than the center point of the shaft, they are flat-ish. The side on which the control is positioned is significantly wider (just over 2″) than the other side, the head (which is about 1.5″ wide). The head itself is somewhat spoon or scoop-shaped; one side is convex while the other has a little “dimple.” The head angles slightly upward from the thinner part of the shaft while the base curves slightly downward for an extremely loose “S” shape.

On the convex side of the head, there are four silicone ridges. The ridges are mostly firm but not quite as rigid as the metal parts of the vibrator. These work well for G-spot stimulation, while the spoon side can cradle the clitoris. I don’t think I’ve seen any pictures yet that depict the dimple on the head, so I was pleasantly surprised when I opened Lussuria and wondered whether it would work well for clitoral stimulation.

It does. Lussuria has a functional design, which I really like. The ridges easily caused me to squirt, and I was surprised at the orgasms produced via the clit dimple. The overall design is easy to manipulate comfortably and with precision, too.

The shaft, head and last inch or so of the base are coated in silicone (the shinier, kinda “grabby” style) while the anodized aluminum surrounds the single button. There is also a pink stripe/lighted area, which follows the contours of the metal. This area has a lot of edges and seams, which are not very smooth or neat. I can see it collecting debris and the imperfections reduce the impression of quality IMO. There are especially some imperfections in the pink border which detract from an otherwise awesome colour scheme. At the very end, a small flap is cut out of the silicone; this flap plugs the charging port when Lussuria is not charging. While Lussuria is purportedly waterproof, this flap is not seamless, and I would not submerge it.

To turn on the vibrator, simply press the button once. A pale pink light around the button and the pink “border” part both light up. Pressing the button pages through 5 settings of steady vibrations and then back to the lowest. These vibrations are fairly strong but become much too buzzy as you increase strength. The button must be pressed and held to turn off Lussuria, but this will also turn it up 1 level higher, which is kind of annoying. If, for some reason, I needed to turn it off quickly, it would get louder before turning off.

Even if the vibrations didn’t become buzzier as they increased, I would never use this beyond the second or third setting because Lussuria is damned loud. I guess it’s because of the metal, but I think Vida should have come up with some noise solution before releasing these vibrators, and calling it “quiet” is simply a lie. The sound does not aid in discretion at all, and I am not fond of toys that hurt my ears.

I was a bit disappointed that Lussuria did not come with more information. More pages of the manual are dedicated to advertising other products than anything else. The instructions do say that the first full charge will take 3 hours, and subsequent charges will take 1 hour. I haven’t had to recharge my Lussuria yet, which is awesome, but I have no idea how long it will last, and I guess Vida doesn’t want customers to know, either.

Lussuria does come with a few interesting accessories. First and foremost, it has its own storage case, which Vida describes as a “faux leather vanity tote.” It looks a bit like a small train case with a handle on the top and a zipper around the front and sides. Vida sides into a foam cutout inside, and there is room to toss in the charger beneath the foam. If you remove the cutout, you could use the case to store a few more toys, too; it measures 4.5″ x 8.” x 3.” The Vida logo is embossed in black and red on the front, but I have to warn you, this “faux leather” stinks! I mean, the smell of it gives me a headache, and I don’t want that on my toy.

Luckily, Vida also provides a cushy, storage envelope made from microfiber. The design is unique: a rectangular cloth that folds in thirds and ties with a ribbon. Inside is an opening to tuck your Vida vibrator, but it’s not actually deep enough to hold Lussuria; it will stick out at  the end of the envelope. I suspect Vida made a one-size-fits-all storage pouch and failed. You don’t have to place the vibrator in the pouch, of course. You can simply fold it into the cloth and tie it up; it just fits.

The whole thing comes with a black gift-style bag, but mine was just folded and empty with the Vida box. I suspect that would work much better for in-person purchases. d=

Lussuria actually worked pretty well for me, but Vida needs to work out more kinks before they can call these toys “luxurious” and charge as much as they are for them. The idea of aluminum + silicone is neat, but a pure silicone vibrator wouldn’t be any worse. It also would have reduced the number of seams in the toy and, hopefully, the volume level. The train case and storage pouch are cute but do not offer the perfect storage option. I say skip the frills and lower the price; then we’ll talk.

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