Just Pretend

November 10th, 2009

We’re playing and the scene is one in which he appears to have power but we both know it’s my scene, my power, my plan, my way. I call him “Daddy” and, at first, it sounds awkward. We stumble over our lines and I am incredibly aware that he is not my daddy and these are not our real roles.

“Come here,” here says, beckoning me over and I do trying to act the innocent daughter. I am anything but. He tells me to sit; I do. He launches a conversation about growing up, adolescence and the differences between boys and girls. My head still isn’t in it but I play along anyway. He asks me if I’ve noticed these differences.

“Yes,” I say. “I know I have a penis but you have a vagina, Daddy”. He nods, proud of me. I beam, getting more into the role. I tell him I have seen the pictures in school but they’re cartoony. He nods and looks disappointed, as though public education has failed me. We continue in our roles and he asks if I want to see a real penis, his penis. I am in awe that he cares so much about my knowledge; I nod meekly.

He slowly removes his jeans. I try not to stare as he unbuttons, then unzips. They lie crumpled on the floor and his boxers follow next. I see his penis, standing parallel to the floor. It’s much more detailed than the pictures in school show. I can see the shaft, rigid and straight and the end is bulbous with a funny ridge. He follows my gaze.

“It’s erect,” he explains. “It has filled with blood and increases in size, pointing up. Other times, it is not engorged and hangs limply.” I struggle to stay in the mindset, pretending I don’t already know this, pretending I haven’t seen his cock one hundred, one thousand times before. I try to convince myself I’ve never before seen his cock.

“Does it hurt?” I ask, in amazement. I reach out to touch it before I snatch my hand back, unsure if that would be a mistake. “Can I?” I ask hesitantly and he nods, smiles reassuringly as he explains it doesn’t hurt. It can feel quite good and I wonder how.

I gingerly reach for the head of his cock and he moans. I feel the skin, velvety smooth over the hard shaft. I wrap my fingers around it and he startles me, enclosing his larger hand over my own. He must see it as he puts a finger to my mouth to sooth me, silence me. Together, we stroke his cock. He breathes harder and thrusts his hips toward me. His cock slides in and out of my hand and I stare at it intently.

“Just like that,” he moans and my confidences are mentally boosted. I see the first drop of pre-cum ooze from his penis and ask him what that is.

“That means you are doing a very good job at making Daddy feel good but you know what would really make Daddy feel good?” I shake my head “No” and continue to stroke him.

“Take off your panties,” he tells me. For a minute I am stunned. I didn’t see that one coming at all. I drop my hand from his penis. “Take them off,” he repeats once more and I do, struggling to comply as quickly as possible. He instructs me to lie back on the bed and I listen, afraid of angering him anymore.

He presses his thighs between my legs, spreading them. His fingers travel along my inner thighs and I laugh as it tickles. “Do you like that?” I nod, biting my lower lip as his hands travel further inward. I don’t know what to expect when he reaches the warm area in between my legs. I have touched there before and sometimes it feels good. I am anxious.

His fingers make contact and his touch is gentle. He strokes my skin with one hand, all around my vagina, with his other reaches behind him. I hear something pop but I’m not sure what. I look at him quizzically and he returns my look; something in his expression says everything will be okay. His other hand returns between my legs; he spreads me open and applies something cold, wet against my flesh, inside of me. It feels tight but gets easier as he strokes.

“Don’t mind the cold lube,” he reassures. “Are you ready to make Daddy very happy?” I nod, wanting to please him, knowing my Daddy knows what is best.

I feign pain as the head of his cocks slips into me but we both know it’s fake. I contort my face, trying to look as virginal as possible. “It hurts,” I lie.

“I know but that will pass soon. I promise.” He strokes my cheek as he presses himself into me and I can start to feel him stretching, tearing. It doesn’t feel like he can fit, like he should fit. I let him know, biting my lip in pain.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” he consoles. “Daddy’s almost there.” He lets out an minimalistic groan, the likes of which I have never heard before. The pain, the tearing continues as he slides into me, inch by painful inch. Then it stops, I look down at his body over my tiny frame and I see that he is all the way in me. The hairs around his penis are long and fuzzy, tickle me slightly.

“Are you okay?” He asks, commending my bravery and performance. I nod, try to smile through the pain as it slowly fades. He begins to thrust his hips, pumping into me and I feel the head of his penis stroking against the different sensitive parts of me, inside of me. I think about how I hadn’t even known those parts existed and, in my mind, it’s like this is my first time.

He grunts, moans and grips my hips. I feel him fill me up and I’m not even sure how it’s possible. I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me hard. It hurts but it also feels.. good, somehow. The way he feels inside me feels differently, too. There’s less resistance and he thrusts come easier. It’s like my body is accepting him now and, without thinking, my hips thrust back toward his.

“That’s a good girl.” His words are muffled my my body as he nestles his face against my shoulder. A sound escapes my lips like none I have made before and I cut it off sharply.

“No, go ahead. Daddy wants you to feel good, too.” He reaches down, his fingers caressing around my vagina. His fingers press between the curves of my flesh and he begins to stroke that special button. “Do you like this, when I touch your clit?” I do and I let him know. He continues to stroke, to twist, to flick and the pain is long forgotten. I am moaning with him and, every time I do, it seems to elicit a moan from him.

He thrusts harder now, pressing against my clit harder. I feel the change begin to grow inside me. I’m not sure but I don’t have much time to think about it. Suddenly, his penis is no longer in me and I gasp. As I look down, I feel his erection rubbing between my thighs, against my clit. It looks silly; although, I’m not sure it should.

As quickly as he exited, he slams back into me and I wonder if I will even be able to walk after this. his fingers return to where they were playing with me and that strange feeling builds again. Something is going to happen but I’m not sure what.

Seemingly out of nowhere, I feel the muscles around my vagina, surrounding his cock spasm. They clench and release in quick successions. It’s only a few seconds but they are mesmerizing. I never knew I could do that. Apparently, Daddy is also surprised. He gasps as his own body shudders and he slumps down, weighing more heavily on him. Still supported by his arms, I look up at him, wondering what just happened to the both of us.

As he slowly withdraws from my body, I see his penis shrinking, losing its erection. I think I understand its anatomy more but I am jolted from my thoughts by the warm gush from between my legs. I wonder where it comes from as he stands beside the bed.

“Be a good girl and go clean up in the bathroom. You made Daddy cum hard.” So it’s normal, I assume, and he likes it. I beam once more, glad to have pleased him and head to the bathroom, my legs warm and sticky. I clean myself slowly as I consider what just happened. I know it must be good. We both felt good, very good and I know my Daddy would never do anything wrong. I smile, feeling on top of the world.

As I exit the bathroom to climb back in bed, I see him leaning against the doorway, once more in his boxers. He puts his fingers to his lips, still in the role. We know to keep it a secret. I smile knowingly, not just in character anymore and crawl between the sheets, exhausted, and motion him to join me. He lies beside me, presses his body close and we wish eachother good night, our game over for now.

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Move It Or Lose It

November 4th, 2009

Last night, I was lying in bed, and I was paging through sexual fantasies in my head, expanding some of them more than they have been expended before, and I found I was horny. I want sex but my husband has already been asleep for several hours. I ponder making a move but I don’t know what move I want to make. I don’t just want to make him up and say “Hey, want sex?” but I also don’t know what will wake him up and send the right message. So I toss and turn for a few hours until I cannot possibly stay away and longer and fall into a fitful sleep.

In a similar position, what is your foolproof move? Or, assuming you’re asleep and open to your partner making an advance, how would you like it done?

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Best buy dolphin

November 3rd, 2009

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

No, this isn’t a vibrator that I bought at Best Buy, although some part of me simultaneously giggles and cringes at that idea. It’s CEN’s take on an affordable rabbit vibrator that is great for those looking into rabbits for the first time and also perhaps for folks who sometimes become overwhelmed by all the options rabbits can have. It’s not luxury, nor is it meant to be. It is simply.. the Best Buy Dolphin.

Sometimes I am overwhelmed by the sheer number of things a vibrator can do. This was the case with Evolved’s Lunar Rabbit, which has hundreds of possible combinations, but it ultimately didn’t do anything of them perfectly. In my opinion, when a toy does a few things really well, it beats a toy that does many in a mediocre fashion – hands down. That is what the Best Buy dolphin aims to do, which makes it perfect for any rabbit newbies or anyone who is just plain sick of a million settings, none of which quite hit the spot. As usual, there are a couple glitches with that ambition.

There are only 4 buttons on this toy. One to turn on/off each of the functions and the other to adjust. For the rotating shaft and beads, this reverses the direction. For the vibrating dolphin clit stimulator, this changes from low to high and back. There are a few combinations, but it remains newbie-friendly. Of course, there are no pulsation or rollercoaster-type settings, either, so if your clit likes something a bit more exciting than steady vibes, look away. Per usual, the beads and rotating shaft work together and I would love to find a rabbit where the beads could be operated separately.

I was surprised at how well the rotation works. I think this is because the 4 rows of plastic beads rotate pretty fast, but this also makes a whining sound. Most rabbits freeze up under any sort of duress, but the beads actually hurt me when I clenched, and I had to ease up. On the one hand, they work pretty damned well; on the other hand, many people (including myself) tend to clench during orgasm so this can actually be a con.

In terms of vibration strength, I was unimpressed. The high is more like a medium and most vibrators and I usually don’t use the medium on most rabbit vibes. Neither setting did anything more than tingle. Furthermore, the dolphin-shaped clit stim just didn’t work for me. I found it to be a little short; only his pointy nose made contact and it actually hurt a bit.

I’m not surprised the vibrations were lackluster. The bullet seems to be quite small; although there is quite a bit of TPE material around it so the bullet looks larger. Furthermore, this is only powered by AAA batteries but is pretty quiet. Granted, it uses 4 of them but my experience is that I usually need at least 2AAs. The battery pack is also a little strange. It pulls straight out and pops back in, but there’s a screw that attaches the battery cap to the casing, which makes it seem like you might need to unscrew it. You don’t, it’s just misleading. Also, make sure it’s secure. It will turn on even if it’s not only to have the batteries fall right out.

As I mentioned, the shaft and clit stim of the Best Buy Dolphin are covered in a soft, blue TPE which is translucent. It’s very flexible and thin. I can actually pinch some off the shaft. I wouldn’t mind thicker material around the beads and thinner material on the clit stim to make it more comfortable. The shaft had water and wavelike textures while it also has 4 equidistant ridges (and is thinner than the shaft), but none of those textures are really effective.

TPE is both silicone and water-based lube compatible, and you’ll want to use it, not because the Best Buy Dolphin is huge (it’s respectably girthy at 1.75″ diameter at its widest) but because the TPE is so sticky, and this can cause friction without proper lubrication. I found the 5 insertable inches and girth to be pretty adequate myself. It also collects a lot of lint and dust, so popping on a condom isn’t a horrible idea to make the whole thing a little cleaner (plus it’s somewhat porous).

When it comes to cleaning off that lint and whatever fluids may have collected, soap and water should do the trick. However, I’d be reluctant to submerge this vibrator completely (whether playing or cleaning) even though it’s supposed to be waterproof, especially considering that the battery cap can pop off if it’s not secure. The cap just doesn’t seem as watertight as others California Exotics styles.

The Best Buy Dolphin is a pretty good option for those who are just getting into rabbits, but it isn’t anything amazing. The clitoral stimulator definitely needs more power and its shape was just no match for me. Although the beads rotated enough for me to squirt, no part of this toy was going to make me orgasm. For less than $30, you could do worse.

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Pure Wand

October 30th, 2009

I don’t mind being the dissenting voice. After all, I’m picky, and I disagree about just about everything on a frequent basis. What I don’t like, however, is having to write a less-than-glowing review of a toy I tried really hard to like, a toy that has high scores across the board. Yet here I go.

The Pure Wand by Njoy does have many positive qualities. It’s made of nonporous stainless steel, which makes it very hygienic, and its sleek surface that is free of any imperfections or seams (Njoy is painted on but can only be felt with a finger, not internally) makes penetration and cleaning a breeze. You can safely boil, bleach or clean in the dishwasher (which I did) and a little hot or cool water adds the intrigue of temperature play.

In fact, when it comes to presentation, Njoy has got it down. The toy comes in a black storage box that opens (via hinge) to model the Pure Wand on pink satin. The fabric lies over a styrofoam “platform” and the Pure Wand nestles into it nicely. The curved wand, with its bulbous ends, looks gorgeous. This also makes for practical storage. Plus, the Pure Wand comes with stickers! Even by itself, the Pure Wand looks like a modern art piece. The details are amazing.

Measuring in at 8″ – from tip to tip – of solid stainless steel, this is no child’s toy. As you might expect, it’s got some heft which adds to the presentation of quality. It weighs in at 1.5 pounds. I suspect if my husband realized how much this dildo weighs, he wouldn’t need to keep a knife by the bedside. It’s a formidable weapon! That’s not its intended purpose, however.

The Pure Wand is meant to be a G or P spot dildo and is designed with a generous curve with two bulbous ends (one with a 1″ diameter and the other 1.5″) to stimulate those sometimes hard-to-reach areas. As I am only equipped with one of those spots, I can only give my G-spot experience.

I wasn’t very familiar with my G-spot when I won the Pure Wand from a contest. I hoped I would be like the many other women who found this to be a miracle toy, and when I first slipped it in (with only a little lube of your choice needed), it easily curved around my pubic bone and nestled where I expected my G-spot would be. And, were my G-spot tucked just behind my pubic bone, as most resources state it should be (to be honest, I think this is where it is for many women), the review would likely end here. I probably would have discovered my G-spot and mastered it with ease.

If you’re looking for your G-spot, check out my review of Female Ejaculation & the G-spot.

But I didn’t. As it turns out, my G-spot is not located behind my pubic bone but is much shallower. I tried the smaller and the larger ends and rocked the Pure Wand this way and that, but there wasn’t any dramatic response – except when I tried to pull out the Pure Wand too fast, and it hooked on my pubic bone. I swore my hips were being ripped apart! Neither end was as filling as I would have liked, either. The smaller ball felt too small, and the shaft near it was disappointingly narrow. Although the shaft on the other end was more filling, the ball was too large for comfort. I felt like Goldilocks.

In terms of comfort, the rigid metal of the Pure Wand means it’s not great for thrusting. Even gentler experimentation on my part left me feeling bruised. Although the feeling went away a few moments after I stopped, I found the experience to be a little painful and too intense on the whole. As others have mentioned, a user guide would be helpful. I’m still not actually sure how you’re supposed to use the Pure Wand, which means it’s definitely not a toy for newbies.

I put the Pure Wand away and, somewhat wistfully, vowed to try it another time. During that time, I focused on some different types of G-spot toys and did a little reading on the subject. I was finally able to locate my G-spot (using the K-balls) and was surprised at how close it was to the entrance of my vagina. I learned how to squirt and broke out the Pure Wand once more. Although it slid easily behind my pubic bone, the ends missed my G-spot completely, and the shaft barely rested against it because of the curve. However, the curve does mean it can be grasped over the mons, instead of between the legs, an advantage over some toys.

I tried using the Pure Wand with the bulbous ends stroking my G-spot instead of being inserted further. Used in this manner, I was able to stimulate my G-spot a bit but couldn’t squirt. I eventually switched to the Curve but was already feeling sore from using the Pure Wand, so it, too, was unsuccessful.

Furthermore, individual preferences and circumstances can make some of the positives of this toy… negative. For starters, the weight can certainly be a drain on anyone with joint problems, and it can feel a bit unwieldy. Secondly, the stainless steel has a tendency to quickly warm to warmer than body temperature. If you like heat, this is interesting. I found it to be quite uncomfortable. Additionally, the Pure Wand results in lots of wet vaginal sounds. Lastly, because it is so slick, lubes and bodily fluids can make it difficult to grasp.

Although I believe my experience to be somewhat unique, I do feel that the Pure Wand is better intended for those whose G-spots are behind the pubic bone and not as shallow as mine. Even if you can perfectly stimulate your G-spot with the Pure Wand, I warn you to be very careful when thrusting or removing it so that it doesn’t catch on your pubic bone. The Pure Wand just goes to show that no one sex toy is “one size fits all.”

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Fun Factory Curve

October 28th, 2009

Fun Factory Curve

Fun Factory Curve

Fun Factory no longer makes the Curve. If you’re looking for a silicone G-spotter, you might try to Vixskin Tex or Tantus Acute. Vibrating options include the Embrace G Wand and Comet II.

I was so excited to a bright pink dildo of the G-spotting kind in the mail. I had no idea it was coming. Major props, kudos, gratitude to Tabu toys. I probably squealed and I’m not a squealer. I showed it to my husband who quickly answered with “Meh, it’s another sex toy for you” and I should have threatened to violate him in the middle of the night with it, for raining on my parade. I totally could because..

The Curve by Fun Factory is made of pure silicone, in particular, a softer silicone.

This is good because..

  • silicone is nonporous and can be sterilized completely by boiling or bleaching which makes it safe for partner sharing or orifice swapping.
  • It shouldn’t hold smells.
  • It’s easier to clench around and isn’t as unforgiving as some hard G-spot toys.
  • the external portion can me maneuvered against the clit and vulva for a better “fit”
  • the loop in the handle has a little stretch to shove in your favourite bullet or even a mini wand.
  • the texture of the silicone helps it from slipping out like some smooth toys do.
  • the silicone does a decent job of transferring vibrations

This is bad because..

  • it picks up lint but, really, less hygienic toys do, too so it’s a fair trade.
  • some folks need rigid toys to thrust quickly and the Curve just isn’t built for that.

The Fun Factory curve has a unique, asymmetrical curve with a loop/hole on the handle and a very defined head.

This is good because..

  • it curls back toward the body and can be used for clitoral stimulation (or potentially perineum stimulation when used anally.
  • it is easier to use than toys which protrude 6 inches from the vagina, especially for short armed folks like myself.
  • the handle can also be used to house a bullet.
  • the handle will stop it from slipping inside if used anally.
  • the lip on the head can be used to “milk” one’s G-spot or prostate easily.
  • it can easily stimulate G-spots at different depths.

This is bad because..

  • the curve may not fit all anatomies.
  • partner use of the Curve may be difficult.
  • the lip on the head may be painful to some, especially when maneuvering around the pubic bone.
  • It’s semi-realistic shape is not discreet
  • For some reason, places other than the hole/handle seem to work better for transmitting vibrations.

The Curve is a thicker dildo, measuring in at 1.69″ diameter around the largest portion of the head (the lip) and 1.4″ in diameter around the larger portion of the shaft (just under the head).

This is good because..

  • This is good because many G-spot toys with bulbous heads do not have a lot of girth and leave me feeling disappointed.
  • This is good because there’s enough of a shaft to clench around.
  • This is good because it’s more realistic than some G-spot toys.

This is bad because..

  • it may hinder ease of use.
  • it’s definitely not a small toy or good for beginners.
  • The thicker parts of this dildo do not transmit vibrations as well

Fun Factory’s Curve dildo is bright pink and has decorative flame-like ridges on it.

This is good because..

  • it’s attractive to me.
  • The pink is nearly translucent and it is quite unique to look at.
  • it’s impossible to lose and stands out from other toys

This is bad because..

  • The sex toy market is saturated with pink toys
  • Fluids can collect near the ridges
  • The ridges cannot be felt anyway

My experience with the Fun Factory Curve was pretty much wonderful. It was the first dildo I ever squirted with and it was only a matter of seconds. It fit perfectly against me so I could stimulate my clitoris, too, and provided the essential dual stimulation experience for me. Plus, it’s filling. It’s like a magical sex elf (and you know how Germans like their magical elves) entered my room in the middle of the night to make a mold of my vulva and Fun Factory used it to create the perfect G-spot dildo for me.

I was able to insert a bullet and feel it internally but I preferred to use it with my Miracle Massager against it. The only downsides to my experience were that the massager wanted to slip off the Curve; I wish there was some sort of indentation I could rest it on; and that the lip on the head is a bit much after I’ve squirted because I become quite sensitive. However, it feels great before that. I know this is mostly due to the fact that my G-spot is quite shallow so I never push the Curve past my pubic bone, however; many women will need to look out for that. But for me? The Curve is perfect as is.

6 Comments


Time and Time Again

October 24th, 2009

I have problems with time. I don’t always prioritize it right and I’m horrible at guessing just how much time something will take. I frequently make informal schedules in my mind, a checklist of things to do today and the next thing I know, it’s tomorrow and I didn’t achieve half of those things because I let time get away. What’s even worse is that, instead of stopping and shelving those projects for another day I simply stay up until they’re all completed; this is why I have absolutely no routine whatsoever. I push myself until I’m so dead tired I cannot accomplish anything more then need to sleep half a day away to fix the effects of it.

Needless to say, sex doesn’t fit into my non-schedule. Just the other day I was thinking how difficult it is for us to have sex at all when my husband works. It’s a bit better now because he has new hours. His 12 hour days are only 12 hours as opposed to the 14 he used to work. He can stay up a little later, now, instead of coming home with just enough time to watch some TV while he eats, check his e-mail, shower and head to bed once more. Now I have a bit more time to get in the mood but it still doesn’t happen nearly as often as we’d both like. I think we’re down to maybe once a week when I’d like to have sex more like 3 or 4 times a week. In fact, I will sit down and think about how we’re not having sex..

And then I realize I’m sitting at the computer or reading in bed or he’s playing video games or we’ve somehow managed to waste a couple hours fighting and then I know that, no matter how shitty his schedule is, we’re equally at fault for not planning to have sex. I know I need to, I just don’t. It’s hard for me to up and go into the bedroom. Even if I want to, I just don’t get turned on at the drop of a hat and I know it’s frustrating for him ’cause he does. But planning can sometimes make it even harder to get where I need to be mentally, especially because I like sex to be spontaneous. And planning itself is hard when you have such a complete lack of schedule like I do.

I suppose it comes down to this – would I rather have spontaneous sex infrequently or deal with having to plan sex so I can have it as much as I’d like (or at least try)? I’m not even sure.

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Kinklab leather wrist cuffs – black

October 23rd, 2009

I recently reviewed the Kinklab Padded Leather Blindfold. Aside from some minor pinching and slipping, it was a good piece, basic but functional. That’s pretty much how I’d sum up their leather wrist cuffs as well. They arrived in a similar plastic tube, from which I had to pry off the cap and on which is an image of the cuffs in use (but it’s not obscene).

Out of the tube, I saw that these cuffs do not have the common belt buckle style closure, which Kinklab calls “self keeping.” Rather, when you wrap it around your wrist, the bottom layer has a pseudo-D ring that slips through the slit of your choice on the overlapping piece. Then, a thin strip of leather is pulled through that D-ring, over the hole to secure it in place. Given enough space, you could potentially loop the strap through other holes for extra security. It’s not foolproof; if that is your goal, you can slip a padlock or something similar through the ring. On the other side is another ring that can be used to attach the cuffs to restraints or each other.

Of course, no locks or connectors are included. This was easily remedied with a trip to Lowe’s and, eventually, Walmart. It doesn’t mean the cuffs are bad per se, but that would be nice, especially because the staples are not like other D-rings or O-rings I’ve experienced. In fact, they’re not really rings are all but are open and shaped something like the Greek Omega with longer feet. Because of this unique shape, these staples are definitely smaller than I am used to, and some hardware may not fit.

The staples and the leather strap are all fastened with metal rivets which seem quite secure. In fact, these cuffs look pretty unassuming and weren’t quite as pleasing to the eye as I might have liked, but I was surprised at how well they held up while I had my husband restrained. Despite much thrashing and movement, the rivets stayed secure, and the cuffs never came open. However, we played probably just over an hour, and the thin leather straps were definitely coming loose. Eventually, the cuffs would have given way. Still, I’m surprised by how well they did hold without using a lock. Of course, some people would find this design a positive because it can easily be undone by fingers, teeth or even toes.

Over this time, he never complained of any discomfort, either. The edges are blunt, and the leather itself is malleable enough to wear comfortably, but they’re also not buttery soft as I have heard some leather described. The outside is shiny and smooth, while the inside of the cuffs are unfinished but relatively soft. The cuffs fit him well, on the third hole or so, with a bit of room to spare. They are cut to fit a range of 5.5″ to 7″, which is right in the middle, but those with smaller or larger wrists will be out of luck. Kinklab’s black leather wrist cuffs are just not meant to accommodate everyone.

Yet, they even surpassed my husband’s expectations. He expected to have bruises in the morning; however, there were none to be found. I don’t think there were any marks to be found, even immediately after playing, and this definitely eases his mind.

For less than $40, the quality and performance of the Kinklab leather wrist cuffs are absolutely acceptable. I would recommend them to anyone just starting out when it comes to bondage or anyone who finds themselves needing a bit more than the “kinky kits” usually contain. I would eventually like to make more of an investment, but, for now, these are great.

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