I know things have been slow here as of late and it’s because I’ve had company the past week or so and it’s just not polite to pull out those dildos and vibrators in front of company (well, in front of most company LOL). I’m also planning a trip next week – hopefully – but I will try to post a few reviews before I leave.
Totally Fuckable Tuesday
March 3rd, 2009
I usually don’t participate in memes on this blog but I seem to have developed a raging girl hard-on for Clive Owen in the past week and it’s good fodder for BeautifulDreamer‘s Totally Fuckable Tuesday theme.
Now, my usual brand of man (or woman) tends to be fairly pretty and feminine, both of which Clive Owen is not. No, he is a man. A real, honest to goodness man. He’s got that classic tall, dark and handsome going on. There isn’t anything soft about this man. His features a sharp, chiseled and strong but what I love the most is his penetrating gaze. It sees right through me and makes me want to strip to the skin without ever looking away. Now, there isn’t a submissive bone in my body but something about Clive Owen just makes me want to please him.
The next best thing (if there ever could be a “next” best thing about this man!) is his voice. Just like his appearance, it’s masculine and strong. It comes deep and low and reaches inside, stirring primal feelings. The trailers for his new movie are so exciting; I just want to tape and replay his words over and over.
But this whole good lookin’, sexy soundin’ man packaged is wrapped up with the ultimate demeanor. Powerful and in control without being over the top, Clive Owen enchants in film with an understated personality; his presence alone is enough to say “don’t fuck with me” without ever needing to actually say it. He is commanding without being demanding, manly without being macho and sexy without ever even trying. Need I say more?
4 Comments
Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe
March 1st, 2009
This is an archived review of a discontinued product.
I guess I’m a size queen and this is a good thing because Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe is a large toy. It is definitely not for the weak at heart. Yet, even despite its monster size, I found myself wanting more: more power, more size, more quality.
Even before I had removed this toy from the package (which features, of course, Tera Patrick herself), I noticed the size. At 9″ long and with a circumference of 4 3/4″, it certainly rivals the larger of my toys. I also noticed that the vibrator wasn’t quite as pretty as it appeared in images. In pictures, it definitely shines more. The images across the web also differ in lightness, so it must be a hard colour to photograph; I found that the images of Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe on PinkCherry.com are a bit lighter than the toy actually is.
Once out of the package, I was immediately accosted by the strong scent of the Meta-Jelly material. It wasn’t rubbery in the slightest; rather, it smelled a bit metallic and sickeningly sweet – like Dr Pepper in a can. I know it’s a strange description, but it was a strange smell. And strong! I had it out for a bit, but the toy stunk up the whole living room, and the smell clung to my hands. Because of this, I put it away for several weeks before breaking it out again.
I was really reluctant to use a toy that smelled so horribly and I wondered how inferior this material must be. I usually do not care about the material of my sex toys a whole lot but it was impossible to ignore that this isn’t a super hygienic material. Meta-Jell is some derivative of jelly (thus porous – using a condom between partners is a must and not a bad idea in general) and a mixture of some sort of metal which gives it a slightly metallic appearance. It’s still soft like jelly and the tip of this toy has some flex to it (the jelly sleeve extends past the hard vibrator).
I finally broke this toy out, gave it 3 or 4 washings, and let it air for several days before using it. My entire bathroom smelled like Meta-Jelly for those days, albeit the scent did decrease (even if it was painstakingly slow in its decrease). But I was determined to give Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe at least one try so that I could give it a fair review. Although I am usually picky, I know many people would not have even given it that much time.
I was a bit anxious because I’d read a review that said this toy was simply too large. However, with a little lube, I found insertion wasn’t a big deal. Although this vibe is finished with an engorged head, the head is a bit tapered. I easily felt the raised, asymmetrical heart shapes internally, which is unusual. I usually cannot feel textures as well as I would like, so this was a nice change from the usual. However, I would not recommend fast or hard thrusting because it quickly becomes uncomfortable, even painful. Slow, luxurious thrusts are what I enjoyed best with Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe.
As I thrust this toy, I could not believe how much I enjoyed it! I could feel my body responding. In fact, I was wishing for something a little larger. Although full, I craved to be stretched, and Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe wasn’t large enough in that respect. However, I think most will be more than happy with the size of this vibrator and some will likely find it much too daunting, too.
When it came to the vibrations, I turned this up to high (this vibe has a typical dial base) and was still disappointed. I was looking forward to something that would provide more sensations than I got. I think the MetaJelly did a decent job of transmitting the vibrations, but the motor, which is powered by 2 AAs and likes to turn on/off when inserting the batteries, just didn’t have enough power for me. I found myself super turned on, but this vibe was not going to send me over the edge, so I swapped it out for my Passion Wave stimulator to get the orgasms I craved.
Altogether, I think Tera Patrick’s Meta Jelly Heart-On Vibe has helped me learn what I like but I will look for something which is similar yet higher quality. I definitely want a stronger vibrator made of a material (like silicone) which does not have such an offensive scent and, depending on texture, I could go bigger. For other size queens, this vibrator might just do the trick but I’m holding out for something just a little bit more.
21 Comments
Symphony G-Harmony
February 25th, 2009
Symphony G-Harmony
from
This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.
I want to say right away that I don’t think the Symphony G-Harmony is necessarily a bad toy. After all, I did enjoy it as a clit stimulator, and when I managed to find that “sweet” spot, it felt really good. However, finding that spot was not something which came easily or often.
I was interested in this little purple gem because I wanted to explore my G-spot. I had only had clitoral orgasms before so I did a little searching. I thought that most of those long G-spot wands looked dorky and, as usual, my sense of aesthetic took over. I must say, in that respect, the G-Harmony is amazing. Its translucent purple TPR really is gorgeous and the wave-like ridges at the tip seem to really fit the name for some reason. Plus, the base reminds me of a gemstone. The way this G-spot vibrator catches the eye is almost breathtaking, and I think I might even like the way it looks better than all of the rest of my toys.
Evolved also provides this toy with its typical classy packaging (a fancy metal box) – this time in red with black accents. This works well for store,ge but I do find it to be a bit bul,ky so I wouldn’t use it with a toy I use frequently (it would make a good storage case for a number of other items inside the bedroom and out); unfortunately, I will not be using this toy frequently.
The first issue I ran into was that this toy is a little girthier than many G-spot toys. In application, I couldn’t twist and turn it any which way to perfect my technique (or lack thereof LOL). I couldn’t go from different angles; this pretty much remained in one position. Now, I like my insertable toys to be significant in size, and if I were looking for a basic vibrator, I might like this size. But it wound up hindering my G-spot experimentation. I already knew my body seems to be as fickle as my mind can sometimes be, and I would need to be able to feel about a bit to find the perfect spot, but I just couldn’t with this toy. However; I don’t think that means everyone will run into the same problem.
My next approach was to use the flexibility of this toy to its utmost potential. Between the base and the tip (where the bullet is located), there is a certain amount of give and flexibility. A lot of G-spot toys seem to be firm the whole way through, and I originally liked this flexibility. The problem was the flexibility reduced the amount of pressure I was able to exert internally so I had to try to bend the toy against the back wall of my vagina so that the tip might curve back upward toward my G-spot. This didn’t work.
However, the flexibility was nice when it came to thrusting. When I slid the G-harmony out of my pussy, I could drag it across my clit in a curved path, before pushing it back in, and I did like this, but it wasn’t going to get me off. I was able to use the G-Harmony on my clit to get off, though, which was unexpected. Sadly, it wasn’t my goal.
Unfortunately, I have a tendency to break toys that had a flexible spot, and this wasn’t an exception. Although it’s still completely functional and beautiful, I (am pretty sure I) have just barely broken this vibrator, somehow. The flexible place is now a little floppy. While I can still use it, it certainly doesn’t help me achieve orgasm.
As the facts stacked up, I accepted that I was not going to have my first G-spot orgasm with this vibe. Although it looked and felt nice, it wasn’t extraordinary. I liked the vibrations inside and out; they were fairly powerful (without being over the top). Plus, the bullet location in the tip was a good thought, but it was just nice. Even the ridges that give this toy its aesthetic appeal really didn’t add up to much. I’m not sure if my vag is less sensitive than others, but I really couldn’t feel them once inserted.
One thing that consistently annoys me about Evolved products is that they like to put their buttons on the bottom. This makes it easy to use (push once for on, twice to increase the power, a third time to turn it on high, and again to turn it off) but I was constantly turning this toy off by accident. I have another Evolved toy that does the same.
On the other hand, I think Evolved has made some decent TPR products. The colour was gorgeously translucent, and I only noticed a slight scent. I have heard some TPR toys smell quite strongly and this wasn’t the case. The smell I noticed wasn’t rubbery or like chemicals; actually, it smelled vaguely of gasoline (and I’m one of those weirdos who like the smell).
One last note: I had a bit of difficulty with the battery pack at first. 2 AAs go into the pack, which slides out of the base of this toy. This makes it a little easier to insert, and I have no problem inserting the batteries into the pack. I did run into an issue because the pack has to go in a certain way, and this isn’t clearly marked. I didn’t realize this because I put it incorrectly because it went in pretty easily. But when I realized this, it was already stuck, and I had to pry it out with a spreading knife. LOL If you have an Evolved toy with a removable battery pack, take notice of the sizes of the ridges inside the toy when you’re putting it in.
I don’t hate this toy; I just don’t love it. I think my issues were not universal; it just wasn’t the best toy for a beginner’s G-spot exploration (because of its size), and the flexibility didn’t help as I initially thought it would. I was annoyed by my issues with the battery pack, and I think Evolved needs to stop putting push buttons on the bottom of their toys. Yet, the G-harmony is still good-looking and did provide me with nice clitoral stimulation. I hope that, one day, I can come back to the G-Harmony after I get to know my G-spot better, and we can be more harmonious together.
19 Comments
Bloomy
February 24th, 2009
Bloomy
Sadly, Fun Factory no longer makes the Bloomy.
Fun Factory’s Bloomy anal plug/dildo was a pleasant surprise. I fell in love with it as soon as I first laid eyes on it; after all, it’s a really unique shape, and both black and deep pink are attractive colors. Mine came in pink, not the typical fit-for-Barbie pink of so many sex toys but a deep, grown-up pink. Although I love black, I actually prefer pink because I think it better highlights the shape of the bloomy – a shape vaguely reminiscent of a flower but not obviously so, but perhaps that is just my opinion.
The Bloomy came packaged similarly to other Fun Factory toys. Actually, I think mine had some packaging snafus as it included two copies of the Fun Factory brochure, two packets of lube, instructions for the Teneo Smart Balls, and instructions for the Bloomy. The toy itself was also nestled only in a “bottom” plastic tray, leaving the toy open so you could touch it while in the box. Because of the silicone, the toy had actually attracted some dust and dirt during shipping which was kind of gross.
Nevertheless, I easily washed it with soap and water and was surprised to find how much give this silicone toy has. I actually thought it was a bit too floppy at first but this soon proved not to be the case.
The Bloomy is billed as a multifunction toy, and I certainly cannot argue; the pure silicone makeup is boilable for sterilization, so it’s safe to use anally and vaginally. However, I only used this toy vaginally and will continue to do so. I have no doubt that the bloom shape would make for a fine anal plug and the “leaf” extension could stimulate the perineum as well but, for me, I immediately thought this could be a dual action dildo and identified the loop as an insertion point for a bullet vibe.
And that’s exactly how I used it. I slipped my BNaughty into the loop, turned it up high and let the toy transmit vibrations to my body. This was pretty nice but I found the thin “leaf” to be a little too soft for adequate clit stimulation. Fear not! I found an unexpected use for this toy, which actually resulted in a new kind of orgasm! Yes! A new kind of orgasm for me.
With the bullet in the loop, I was able to grind this “middle” section against/into the opening of my vagina, stimulating the nerve endings which are there. I moved this toy in a circular sort of motion and was soon experiencing my first (then second and third) vaginal orgasms. Now, these weren’t G-spot orgasms as they weren’t located that far in but it was still different from my usual clitoral orgasms and I was ecstatic to say the least.
On that note, I didn’t find a whole lot of G-spot stimulation because the silicone does have a lot of give – more than I am used to from pure silicone toys which usually seem to be firmer. I also can’t say that I was very sensitive to the shape of the Bloomy. I liked it but it wasn’t obvious that it has a unique shape after I inserted it. Still, it did feel good and I actually found walking around with this toy inserted to feel pleasurable (internally, at least, the walking was kind of silly).
I was really excited to find a toy that both looked and felt amazing, and the unique orgasms the Bloomy gave me were a welcome change from my usual routine. It was exciting to learn something new about myself, and I think the Bloomy makes a great toy when paired with a bullet vibe, but it’s certainly versatile enough to use in other ways. In the future, I will likely invest in a stronger bullet/egg vibe to use with my Bloomy, and I think the fact that I want to get another sex toy simply to improve my Bloomy experience says a lot. I would recommend the Bloomy to just about any way!
14 Comments
Importance of Sex Education
February 23rd, 2009
I have always believed in the importance of sex education. Coming from a liberal, midwestern state, I know the sex education I got (which started in second or third grade and lasted, on and off, until my sophomore year) was much better than the sex ed others were getting. Many people hear nothing more than “Don’t do it” or “Masturbation is a sin,” if they hear anything about sex at all. Still, the focus was on not engaging in sex; although I felt my teachers gave me good reasons why (and I was listening), more information about safer sex would be preferred.
I know I’m not the only one who values sex education that is actually, well, educational, but not everyone does. Some people feel that educating our nation’s youth about sexuality isn’t the way to go (is it any wonder that these people have unsatisfactory sex, got pregnant in their teens, caught a multitude of STDs because of risky behavior, or have never known how to please themselves or their lovers?) and to them I say “Listen up!”
I think most of us agree that the purpose of parenting and teaching is to communicate to our children the risks they will have to deal with once they leave the walls of home or school and set them up to make the best decisions regarding these risks. We exert more control over their lives when children are younger; no one is going to let a toddler cross the road by himself, but as children grow, we impart on them more responsibility regarding life’s risks and trust that we have reared a child or a generation of children who will choose the best course of action for them. Notice, I don’t say “right” because what is right for one individual may not be for another.
I believe it’s important for us to recognize that life is full of risks, but we can’t simply shelter our children; this almost always leads to more harm than good. By allowing them to make their own decisions and mistakes, we help them grow and give them confidence. So why is it that so many people think the best way to teach about sexuality is to say, “Don’t do it,” and leave it at that – the equivalent of “Because I say so,” another cheap cop-out that no responsible person should use?
Although I’m not a parent, I can tell you that when I was given a solid “No” without meaning, it only made me want to rebel against my mother. However, if she had taken the time to explain why she said no, I would have been more willing to consider her side and listen to her advice. When we tell our young children not to cross the road (without looking both ways), we explain that cars sometimes drive very fast and drivers may not see them when they’re doing so. Not looking could result in a painful or even deadly accident. And when we tell them not to talk to strangers because strangers may want to hurt them, they learn not to talk to strangers.
Of course, even as we try to teach these life lessons, we must recognize that, at some time, our youth will cross the road without a trusting hand to hold and that everyone begins a stranger so we must be somewhat trusting. We take as active a role as possible: we tell them some strangers are helpful, like police officers, doctors, or teachers, and we send them into the world armed with knowledge. We teach them how to drive, explain that a car is a powerful machine, and remind them that they must be observant and obey laws and rules of the road. And then we let them go.
So why should sex be the exception? Why should something without which none of us would exist be glossed over, tucked in the back of the book, or ignored altogether? It shouldn’t. Sex is a part of life and will always be a part of life. It can potentially be riskier than other activities, which makes it even more critical that we educate youth about it.
Of course, it also makes us want to protect them from it even more, and it’s certainly understandable, but if we don’t give them the information they need to make the best decisions, doesn’t this endanger them even more? By withholding information about the risks of sex, teens may be walking into a dangerous situation blindly. In fact, I would call this very irresponsible regarding parenting and education. Furthermore, by not educating people about how sex can be a positive, healthy, and pleasurable thing (within and outside of a relationship), we could be setting up the next generation to a life of mediocrity.
I don’t think we should be bringing porn stars into our classrooms, but I think that a level of responsible parenting and teaching is necessary. And, no, I don’t believe that illustrating why waiting to have sex but outlining ways to engage in safer sex at the same time will prompt teens to engage in sex earlier. I think that, by nature of our species, adolescents will be curious, and some will have sex, yes. I also think that if we show them the potential risks, including pregnancy, STDs, physical discomfort, and emotional tolls, we allow them to make the most educated decision and, should they decide to have sex, they know to protect themselves from all the possible negative consequences. Hopefully, teaching about the risks will also deter some teens from having sex at a young age.
But if we don’t teach them and they race to the sack with the first person who is open to advances, they may not know to use condoms to protect from STDs and prevent pregnancy. How many know someone who thinks “pulling out” is an effective form of birth control? Or who wonders if you can get pregnant from oral sex? Or who thinks that you cannot get pregnant while a female has her period? How many people are aware that condoms don’t protect against all STDs, should only be worn for 30 minutes at a time, should have room at the tip for semen to accumulate, and should never be worn doubled up? Not everyone and that is a problem.
Yet, it’s not the only problem. I think it’s important to recognize that not teaching today’s youth about their bodies can limit the pleasure they will experience during their life on Earth. This is especially true with the female half of the population, some of whom do not even know what the clitoris is, that they can masturbate, or that it’s okay to communicate what they like during sex. Comprehensive sex education not only leads to safer sex but leads to more meaningful, positive sex, which enhances, not harms, relationships.
Although I discuss mostly young people and their ignorance when it comes to sex, I think that most young people are better educated than some adults. Do our parents’ and grandparents’ generation even know a fraction of what we do? How many grown women engage in dangerous vaginal douching to be “fresh” and clean? Would some hard-learned lessons have made sex and relationships better had someone cared enough to take the time to explain the basics? Absolutely.
There is no need to drill into youth that “Sex is bad! Sex is bad! Sex is bad! Don’t talk about it.” However, there is every need to explain that the best sex can be physically and emotionally fulfilling by knowing the risks and preparing for the consequences. And that is no different from every other lesson we teach at home or school.
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Miracle Massager
February 21st, 2009
Miracle Massager
$55.59
from Store.OfSexAndLove.com
Psst, are you wondering if I still enjoy the Miracle Massager? Check out my updated thoughts in my “A Toy A Day” feature!
My methods of masturbation have always involved more pressure than vibration alone and I began to think that perhaps I didn’t even like vibration. Then I wondered if maybe the toys I was using simply weren’t strong enough and I began to seriously consider the wand style vibrators. Perhaps I simply needed something incredibly strong like the Hitachi, except I just couldn’t over how ugly most of those sex toys were and the resemblance to a microphone certainly was a turn off as well. So I opted for something I thought would be powerful enough, knowing I could always invest in Hitachi at a later point, but the Miracle Massager was better looking. And, with it’s black and red colour scheme and ergonomically curved handle, the Miracle Massage really is the best looking of this type of vibrator in my opinion.
I’m not sure if I can say the Miracle Massager is actually miraculous; nevertheless, it certainly is wonderful. The first day alone, I used it for at least 30 minutes. I used it until I simply couldn’t use it anymore, lest my vulva fall off. I ended up sweaty and tired and had numerous orgasms. You can probably tell I am a fan of the Miracle Massager. I’m glad I tried something different; I’ve been trying to expand from my normal toys and I’ve had a lot of different experiences. This is definitely one of the better ones.
So, how does this differ from insertable vibes? Well, it’s not insertable for one. It plugs in. It has a cylindrical, PVC head which is the only part which you use to stimulate yourself (the rest being handle) and the vibration is spread out over a larger surface. The head rests on a spring which allows movement, unlike some similar vibes. It’s ergonomically designed (the handle is curved). It’s much larger than most vibes. And it’s really freaking strong.
And are these differences notable? You betcha!
I’m a clit girl anyway so I wasn’t missing anything by not being able to insert the Miracle Massager. However, they are some insertable attachments. I would say this is the only real bone I have to pick: the Hitachi has a million quality attachments while the Miracle Massager has only a handful, most of which seem lame.
Relying on a cord plugged into the wall for power as opposed to batteries resulted in a lot stronger vibrations. The Miracle Massager has a high and low setting, the latter which seems to match the high setting on some of my battery powered toys and the former which is, well, much higher. So far, I’ve found the high setting to be the most pleasurable but I don’t like to use it on bare skin: I prefer the stimulation through a thin pair of yoga-type pants. The cord is something which does take a bit of adjustment. I have an outlet perfectly situated in the bedroom but I actually wound up pulling the plug out of the wall in my ‘throes of passion’ in the living room. I have since then made a mental note to use an extension cord. Overall, however, the cord has not been detrimental to my play time.
I actually don’t like pinpoint vibrations (again, the pressure) so I found the shape of the head to be amazing (PVC might not be the safest material, however. I also found that the red PVC seemed to pick up a black ‘stain’ – probably from the pants I wore while using this). I use this with the flat part of the head against my vulva and clitoris while the handle extends outward. I’m pretty sure it’s a unique way to use a toy like this but it allows me to apply a lot of pressure as well as use the..
Spring! This is definitely a highlight of the toy. The strong spring allows me to bend this toy as much as I need and also to apply a rocking sensation as I grind against the Miracle Massager. With many toys which have some bend/give, I wind up breaking them. I am happy to say this is not the issue. The spring is very thick and I have no fear of it breaking. Although the spring does not stick out, it’s not exactly covered so be wary of your hair which some have had pulled by the spring.
I had no issues with the design of the handle. It’s ridged and definitely easy to hold. Because you don’t need to lube it up, it doesn’t slip. The button slides from Off to Low or High and is easy to use. I’m not sure if it’s necessarily as ergonomic as the makers would likely have you believe but it is more appealing to the eye than straight handles.
Although the Magic Massager is larger than most toys, the box actually doesn’t suggest it. This toy comes in a rectangular cardboard box and sits inside a plastic tray. The box doesn’t waste a lot of space and I was actually surprised at how small it is. I was worried about the size and weight of this toy because my fingers and wrists can be lame but it has not been an issue.
And did I mention it’s strong? I don’t know if it can stand up to the Hitachi but it’s definitely the strongest toy I have used and works just fine for me.
A couple side notes – cleaning is really minimum because it’s not insertable and the head is smooth – just wipe down the head with toy cleaner, wipes or soap and water (on a washcloth probably). Storage is easy because I don’t have to worry about it not touching other toys and it seems to be pretty sturdy. I could easily shove it under the bed and not have to worry about it picking up lint. It doesn’t fit in my Devine Storage Box so that’s a shame but it’s not my biggest concern. Using for 30 minutes or more at a time, I have not experienced any uncomfortable (over)heating.
Overall, I have no real complaints about this toy. It provided me with everything I expected and the spring definitely put it into the “and more” category. It’s powerful, as attractive as these toys can be, and more affordable than some toys which do a whole lot of nothing. If you’re interested in something with souped up vibrations, definitely check out the Miracle Massager!
