How to Survive International Sex Toy Shipping

April 23rd, 2014

If there’s one thing that makes being a reviewer slightly less than awesome, it’s mail. I live in a locked building and often miss carriers. However, the worst-case scenario is that a package is sent back. Once or twice, I’d had to pick one up at the carrier’s office. This is nothing compared to some of the horror stories I’ve heard about people using international shipping but retailers like CherryAffairs try to make it easy for shoppers. Make sex toy shopping less stressful with these tips.

FedEx Express Airbus A300 Jager

Know the rules of each retailer and delivery service to make shipping less stressful

  • Know your country’s tariffs. More than once, a blogger or sex toy reviewer friend has been contacted by their national postal service or a delivery service such as UPS and had to pay tariffs or fees for their bundle of BDSM gear. This is especially true for Canadians. If you’re ordering from another company and the item is of low value, you could be paying a fee that’s actually more than the value of what you’re buying, which means that it might be smarter to make large purchases and pay a single duty rather than making smaller purchases.
  • Make it worth your money. Many retailers offer free shipping over a certain amount — $50, $75 or $99 are common. Stock up and pay a single shipping fee rather than ordering every vibrator separately.
  • Find local retailers — and I don’t just mean those that are in town. Sometimes you might not have that option, but if you look for a company that’s located within your own country, you can avoid high tariffs and long shipping periods. Canada and the UK both offer several options. However, just because you’re in an area where sex toys are less common doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to get off. In Singapore, for example, you can shop for sex toys online at CherryAffairs and have vibrators, dildos and BDSM gear delivered right to your door no matter where you are.
  • Get a P.O. box. A box at your post office can solve a lot of problems — like snooping parents, thieving neighbors and a work schedule that doesn’t allow you to get to the door. If there’s no locked mailbox large enough for packages containing sex toys, a P.O. box is useful. Plus, you can rent them for temporary periods. However, there’s a downside. Not every sex toy retailer will ship to P.O. boxes. Make sure to verify shipping policies before deciding if this is the way to go for you.
  • Plan ahead. Whether you’re vacationing in Singapore or you just won’t be home for the day because of work, make sure to get your ducks in a row. Ask someone who won’t snoop though a box of dildos to get your mail, notify the shipping service to bring a package to work or have the post office hold your parcel until you can pick it up.
  • Purchase insurance or tracking. I always feel best when a package is safe in my hands. Second-best, however, is when I can track every move it makes. It’s a little more difficult when it comes to shipping from overseas, but a tracking number goes a long way (almost as long as a package coming from Asia!). CherryAffairs offers tracking for all overseas packages and an option for local customers to upgrade to registered shipping  to get a tracking number along with piece of mind.You can also sign up to get text or email alerts from most delivery services so you never lose a sex toy in transit.
  • Do your research. Finally, you’ll want to make sure that you’re aware of a company’s return policy. If you miss UPS three days in a row or your package gets stuck in customs, what happens then? Will the sex toy retailer try to ship it again, or will you simply get a refund? Will you have to pay for additional shipping? It also helps to check out customer service. Does a sex toy store have a number for international consumers? Can you contact them via email or even WhatsApp — CherryAffairs offers this — if that’s more convenient?

When you’d looking at high fees, missed packages and stolen goods, a discreet package is the least of your worries. Many of these tips will also help people ordering adult toys within their own countries who have experienced frustrations.

Do you have a sex toy shipping story that’s funny or terrible? Let me know!

 This post brought to you by CherryAffairs, Singapore’s leader in adult novelties, vibrators, couple’s toys and more. Cherry Affairs promises discreet and expedient shipping the world over. Check out the CherryAffairs Facebook page for more information.

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HedoVibes Round Up #39

April 21st, 2014

Forest onePhoto courtesy of Gritty Woman

Welcome to HedoVibes, a collection of reviews and giveaways that were posted in the past week or so from around the web. This is a collection of adult product reviews & contests from real reviewers. If you want to be included in the next edition start with the guidelines, then use the submission form.

Want to read more reviews? Check out HedoVibes for a list of the latest reviews and stellar reviewers. You can also follow on twitter for the latest round ups. HedoVibes is also accepting photo submissions for each edition.

CONTESTS

DILDOS

VIBRATORS

ANAL TOYS

RINGS & STROKERS

BONDAGE, IMPACT, & FETISH GEAR

LUBES & CONDOMS

LINGERIE & SHOES

VIDEOS

STORAGE

MISCELLANEOUS

hedo150

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

Lelo Ora

April 18th, 2014

Lelo Ora
$169 from Lelo

Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I love oral sex. Now, you’d figure that’s a given, but I have met many women who say they can take it or leave it. I’m told that I should accept this as their preference, but it is not mine. I like the feeling of tongues, which can be pointed and hard or broad and soft, against my clit and between the folds of my labia. Oral sex is awesome, and I hold my breath, almost afraid to break the spell, as I wait for whoever is between my legs to make contact with my body and claim it in the name their tongue.

Yes, I know this is fucking cheesy, but there is nothing quite like oral sex, which will invariably end with me grabbing the back of your head and grinding my cunt against you until I come if you’re done at least a halfway decent job and if I want to get off.

So the idea that a toy mimics oral sex is something like the holy grail for me. It has to provide pinpoint sensation like the tip of a tongue. It has to be something I can get pressure from through grinding. And, no, I don’t want a disembodied head. At least, not for orgasmic purposes. To put it bluntly, an oral sex simulator has big shoes to fill, and no one’s gotten it quite right yet.

However, Lelo wants us to forget that others have tried and in quite similar ways to the Ora. You see, this little vibrator is basically the SaSi by JeJoue with a few refinements and a small size. I actually like the change in size, functions, and build, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the idea is not new.

Oral Sex.. from a Toy?

Like I said. This toy is quite similar to SaSi. So the Ora is a round-ish toy with one flatter end where the ball is. The oral sex part comes from a rotating “marble” or ball bearing beneath a thin and flexible layer of silicone. When you press this against you, it’s supposed to feel like oral sex. When the ball moves, it pushes the silicone up out of the little valley where the ball mechanism is situated, and the ball itself extends a little higher than the sides of the valley.

The rest of the toy is covered with taut silicone and is very similar to many of Lelo’s other toys. It reminds me an awful lot of Alia, but it’s definitely bigger. This is good. Alia was too small to insert your fingers to grasp, but Ora works just fine.

There are three buttons, the same as the Insignia line, embossed into the silicone. Let me say straight out that I hate these buttons. My fingertips might not be very sensitive, but I can never differentiate between the buttons to find the one I want, so I always have to pull the toy away from me and change it. I don’t like toys that do this. The Form 6 is similar but the buttons are further apart, which means I can figure out which is which. Lelo really needs to ditch this three-button-in-silicone design. Like now.

The buttons work in an interesting way. The + and – buttons do exactly what you think. The center button cycles through settings, but it also increases vibration strength if you hold it for 3 seconds. After doing this, you get a steady vibration boost kind of like the Boss. The difference between the boost and not boost is noticeable, both to my ears and clit. In fact, the boost actually feels deeper and stronger. The boost stays on if you turn the toy off and back on again. I think this is a bummer. It’s like toys that start on High. Why would you do this to us, why, Lelo?!

The settings are as follows

Ora's protruding ball

Ora’s protruding ball

  • Vibration, ball moves in a circle
  • Ball moves in a circle with no vibration
  • Ball moves in back and forth U motion
  • Ball moves in U motion, vibes pulse
  • Vibes pulse, balls moves in circle
  • Ball moves in back-and-forth C shape (to the side), vibration repeats a slow escalation
  • Vibes do the same escalation, ball moves in a circle
  • Balls moves in C shape, vibration does an escalation + pulsation pattern
  • Ball moves in circle, vibes escalate and pulse
  • Ball moves in circle, long pulse

Unlike the Sasi, Ora allows you to have both the movement of the ball and vibration. There’s a setting where just the ball moves, but you don’t have to pick or choose. You can have both. The downside is that whenever vibration is on, the ball’s movement is a little less intense. This is to be expected and could possibly be minimized with a larger ball. Read more on that below.

So, I like the boosted vibration, but I actually like some of settings, which might very well be a first for me. I always, always, always discounted silly pulsation and escalation, but the later settings with an interesting pattern combination both feel good, and during the vibration’s pause, I can focus on the movement of the ball. This is pretty much a first for me. I do tend to return to steady vibes during orgasm time, but that’s about it.

Because the Ora is more narrow, it fits between my labia better and I get more direct contact with the ball. SaSi was kind of a letdown when it came to this. I had to hold my labia out of the way. The ball being in the “dimple” means that the rigid shell meets my labia, and this provides the pressure that I like. Yes, I can ultimately grind against the Ora, and I got off with it this way.

SaSi also couldn’t take a lot of pressure. While placing more pressure on the ball used in Ora is going to slow it down and you’ll hear it strain, I couldn’t force it to completely stop with my hand while I was trying. Of course, I imagine this stress would make the toy wear out faster, but it’s good that you can get a little pressure without the enjoyment coming to a screeching halt.

Speaking of audible noise. You’ve got both a mechanical wine due to the ball bearing and the sound of vibration. This is louder than a bullet vibe and Siri, for example. But it’s definitely not the loudest toy I own.

Room for Improvement?

There’s no doubt that Ora does this better than any other toy I’ve had. But it’s also not something you’d confuse with a real, human mouth and tongue. The mobile ball beneath the thin layer of soft silicone just doesn’t protrude enough. It could be a little larger, given the shape and size of Ora. or Lelo could go back to the drawing board and come up with something a little larger for a much larger toy. Either way, I’d love for it to extend past the edge of Ora and make better contact with my vulva.

Even with lube, the texture isn’t exactly human. A heating element might change things. I don’t think this is particularly realistic, given the size of Ora, but it’s a thought.

I don’t necessarily love the rounded shape on the other side. Perhaps it wouldn’t bother me as much if the buttons were easier to find and differentiate. It doesn’t cramp up my hands as much as most, but keeping my fingers inside the loop doesn’t feel natural, either.

The Standard Spiel

Yes, this is made of silicone. Use high-quality silicone or water-based lube. Wash with soap and water. Be careful of the charging port. There’s nothing to cover it and while technology works wonders, I’m still wary of open ports. Plug it in and charge for a couple hours to power it. Silicone picks up lint, as you can clearly see in my photos. It comes with Lelo’s box, warranty, and a storage pouch.

Final Thoughts

Essentially, this toy is less-than-perfect but allows me orgasm and enjoy sensations. That doesn’t typically happen. Orgasms are hard work. They’re about release, not pleasure. I can get both with Ora. It’s not necessarily easy, but it happens.

I think Ora will get a fair bit of use from me, but I will likely keep reaching for my old stand-bys when I want to get off quickly.

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Love Rider Butterfly Lovers

April 7th, 2014

My body has changed since I first started reviewing. At one time, rabbit vibrators were my favorite type of vibes despite the fact that so many people seem to have so many problems with them. 6 years ago, my g-spot hadn’t yet awakened. I couldn’t squirt and I wasn’t familiar with that acute pain that occurs when my g-spot needs to squirt but can’t because something is blocking the vaginal canal. If this sounds weird, well, it is.

So I would use rabbits to get intense external stimulation with a little internal stimulation. I enjoyed the cupping of my pubic bone, which we all know is alien shaped or something. In fact, very few rabbits did much for me internally at all. The Passion Wave was one of them. Guys, that was 6 freaking years ago! And now my g-spot isn’t like that. Rabbits tend to get in the way, now. When I need to squirt, I need to get all toys and cocks the fuck out of my vagina. And the increased sensitivity of my g-spot also means that rabbits, most of which have rigid mechanisms in the shaft, kind of hurt.

So I don’t use rabbits much. In fact, when I use G-spot/internal and clitoral/external toys, I tend to use them different. Vibration gets me off clitorally with a lot of pressure. A little vibration and/or a few strokes internally literally milks my g-spot to ejaculation. Most masturbation sessions are the former because I want to get off. If I am aiming to squirt, which isn’t accompanied with an orgasm, it’s usually because I am reviewing a g-spot toy or simply want to feel some sort of accomplishment.

Where is all this leading? To the fact that this is a review for a rabbit vibrator, and it’s so weird for me now. But it wasn’t when I owned over a dozen of them. In many ways, it seems like sex toy makers have also moved away from rabbits, and perhaps for good reason. There are so many complaints.

  • rabbits are big
  • they tend to be expensive
  • they’re not one size fits all

The size issue keeps many women from enjoying rabbits because it’s hard to find one that will fit you. For me, personally, this wasn’t an issue when I was just forcing the rabbits to work, I guess, but I can no longer do it. The nice part about the Love Rider Butterfly Lovers is that it isn’t so huge so this could be a decent toy if most rabbits are too big for you to use comfortably. The shaft only has about 5 inches to insert, and the diameter is about 1.5 inches. The product listing says 1.75 inches, but this is actually the size of the flared base. See, a modern aspect of this rabbit is that it’s harness compatible. You’re going to want an O-ring smaller than that, though. A 1.5 inch ring, I would think. I don’t have a harness to check. The base also works as a suction cup, but I have no use for this.

However, the silly butterfly design for the clitoral stimulator isn’t new at all. There’s a very similar version with a rabbit clitoral arm. I think that I’d like that better. It also just doesn’t hit the right spot or do much at all. The shaft has no silly faces on it, just some surreal sort of swirls and a gently curved head that should be able to provide some G-spot stimulation. The silicone is firm enough to provide pressure but not rock hard because there’s no internal mechanism. It’s also the type of silicone that works best with lube. I did find the shaft to be rather comfortable during insertion. The length of the shaft and clit stimulator aren’t simpatico for me, however.

The motor for the toy is in the base of the shaft/clitoral arm, so it does have the strongest of the vibrations. They traveled up the shaft enough to make me squirt, but I feel like some people would be disappointed. 2 AA batteries provides vibrations with more depth, and the vibes are decent enough. You control this vibe  from a detachable battery pack. This is convenient if you want to use this as a harnessed dildo without vibration, but it doesn’t do much for me when it comes to washing because the wire  stays on the toy and just seems to get in the way.

The control pack is different because there’s a master power button on top and a trigger-style button on the bottom to cycle through the settings. Now, I don’t really like the trigger button for this purpose, but I love the idea of a trigger button. I want to shoot all my sex toys, er, something like that.

The other settings are:

  • high steady vibes
  • medium steady vibes
  • low steady vibes
  • fast fast fast slow pulse
  • pitter-patter pulse
  • medium pulse
  • fast pulse
  • slower/weaker pulse
  • longer/stronger pulse
  • tiny pulse

I hatehatehate when vibes start at the highest setting because you expect to be able to increase the vibrations, but then you can’t. However, the pulsation is all rather effective and there’s no escalation, which really does nothing for me. The vibe returns to the last setting you had it on when you turned it off.

This rabbit vibrator is also fairly loud, certainly louder than any of my Lelo toys. I’m used to toys that are pretty quiet, but maybe you won’t notice.

So, overall, this toy doesn’t make me love rabbits again. Internally, it fits better but it doesn’t offer true dual stimulation for me.  Like I said, I might like the rabbit better.  Or maybe I just want to focus on one thing and do it right.

CEN Sexpert

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Bijoux Indiscrets cosmetics for better sex

101 Vagina Giveaway

April 4th, 2014

41UOw-Y7VPL[1]I was rather impressed with the coffee table book, 101 Vagina, that I received to review. Now, maybe I am not a coffee table book person (actually, I have an ottoman that’s generally filled with electronics LOL), but it was a nice change of page.

I didn’t want to give too much away in my review. Otherwise, you wouldn’t read it, would you? But the experience of reading it was almost.. magical. That sounds a whole lot less pragmatic than I normally am, but there you have it.

In order to spread the word about this project, I have teamed up with the photography/creator to give one copy of 101 Vagina away to a reader at Of Sex and Love. All you have to do is fill out the form below.

Good luck!

Giveaway is open to US residents and ends May 4.

Don’t worry, though, if you don’t win. 101 Vagina is super affordable at less than $19 from Amazon.

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The shield of shame surrounds these everyday male issues

March 31st, 2014

When broaching any mention of a medical concern, men find it too embarrassing to discuss. These problems are common and should be aired to remove the taboo.

male issuesMen prefer not to discuss Premature Ejaculation

This topic provokes a great deal of unease with men but this ailment is very normal and occurs in practically every man at one stage in their lives. They find it belittling that they are unable to be in control of their ejaculation. The more often it happens, the less they are able to deal with it and can become, to their detriment, more introverted and it may even lead to depression. The knock on effect of this symptom of depression, is that it will affect the relationship that he is in. There is a solution called the Prolong Climax Control Programme which consists of a six week programme offering a treatment that can postpone orgasm until both he and his partner are ready.

Men avoid discussing Low Sperm Count

Hearing that you have a low sperm count is not uplifting especially if you are hoping to start a family but there is no need to feel awkward about this: in fact it is a very common reason why male infertility happens. Sometimes this is due to a hormone balance or an infection which is treatable through a series of either hormone replacement treatment or antibiotics.

Men are uncomfortable talking about Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI)

One of the main points that are hard to bring up among men is STI and they find it even more humiliating in from of a doctor. What men do not realise is that it is fairly usual for STI to occur even if he is not careless and can only be treated with medication administered by a GP.


Men can’t face talking about Gynecomastia or Male Breasts

When Gynecomastia results in a man, it invariably means that he has put on weight and the pectoral region develops fat. However it is essential that if a man’s breast enlarges suddenly or they become painful, medical examination will need to be conducted. A few of the other causes for this ailment are chronic liver disease, kidney failure, tumours, genetic disorders (ex: Klinefelfter’s syndrome), reaction to some therapeutic medication and androgen hormone exposure. However in older men, these enlargements may be due hormonal imbalances.

don't let goMen are incapable of opening up about Erectile Dysfunction

Discussing this subject is not easy at all amongst men. The definition of male impotence focuses on the inability to fulfil or continue an erection for as long as it takes to be satisfied by sex. For this to happen, the blood flow must be acceptable for the penis to maintain an erection. The underlying origin may be cardiac or vascular disease. Check for cholesterol, obesity and smoking plus change your lifestyle. The medication available include Cialis, Viagra and Levitra.

It is time now to open up and stop the discomfort!

Thanks for the guest post, ProlongShop.

 

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101 Vagina

March 24th, 2014

101 Vagina
$13.68 from Amazon

When I first received the pitch to review and give away this book,  I wasn’t quite sure what it was. Perhaps that’s because it’s such a simple concept that describing it takes away some of the.. “magic” of it.  I’m normally more pragmatic than that, but the description causes it to lose something special.

You see, 101 vagina is a book featuring 101 photos of vulvas and 101 pieces by the owners of those vulvas. The book is printed completely in black and white, and it has a sleek white hard cover to boot. See? You can sum up what it is so easily. But I’m not sure that you can sum up the significance of this book quite so easily.

You see, the women in those photos have different body types, skin colors, scars, body modifications and pubic hair styles. And those women all have different feelings about the reproductive organs. And some of them even have different understandings about their organs, which brings me to my first and only complaint about this book.

The photos are really of vulvas, not vaginas. In fact, the photographer Philip Werner does address this in the back of the book. I’m glad because the terminology did bother me. However, while the pictures are of the external body parts, he wanted to create a medium for discussing the vulva, the vagina, the physical and the spiritual, and the English language doesn’t really provide this.

However, many of the women who agreed to be photographed for this collection do use the Sanskrit term “Yoni,” which I’ve heard but haven’t used before. Accordingto Wikipedia:

Yoni (Sanskrit: योनि yoni) is a Sanskrit word with different meanings, most basically “vagina” or “womb”. Its counterpart is the lingam. It is also the divine passage, or sacred temple (cf. lila). The word can cover a range of extended meanings, including: place of birth, source, origin, spring, fountain, place of rest, repository, receptacle, seat, abode, home, lair, neststable.

The women who tend to use this word as they write about their vulva, vagina, uterus and more do tend to use more flowery descriptions. The first few photos had captions like these, and they weren’t my favorite. However, women wrote about their vaginas in many ways.

Some were reverent. Some were saddened. Some expressed anger. Some were clinical. Others wrote poetry. Some wrote so much that the text had to be shrunk down to fit the book’s intended format. Other were quizzical or awed. The feels were sometimes intense and sometimes indifferent. It was simply interesting to read them. In fact, I sat down with the book as soon as it arrived in the mail and had read more than half of it before I knew it!

A few of the women chose to write about the experience of being photographed nude. I thought this gave interesting insight into the project itself. It seems like the photographer made everyone comfortable and his desire to create a body positive book really worked out well.

I think that some people would chuckle or roll their eyes at the intent and the result, but I also believe that most people could benefit from reading  book like this. Cis-women could certainly feel a little more comfortable about their bodies and reproductive organs. Other people could appreciate the range of womanhood, both physically and mentally through the written word.

Here are a few of my favorite lines from 101 Vagina:

  • Eat Me!
  • Anything a man can do I can do wetter.
  • Ceci ce n’est pas un vagin.
  • Everyone thinks of themselves as existing on some part of their body — most people live behind their eyes, many imagine themselves between their lungs inside their chests, and still others have egos nestled into their solar plexus area, where their voice is born. I have always imagine that vital part of myself to be inextricably linked with my femininity, so I think that in a very real way, I am my vagina.
  • Didelphys. Google it.

Of course, there are many more than I enjoyed. There is one in particular that I cannot currently find, and some of them are too long to write up in full. and I wouldn’t want you to miss out by not reading them in their intended format.

If you’re at all looking for an interesting coffee table book or simply want to understand how women feel about themselves, 101 Vagina is certainly going to provide plenty to talk and think about.

 

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