Lelo Mona

June 5th, 2010

Mona Red

Mona Red
N/A from

Lelo has since replaced this with the Mona 2.

In the past six months or so, I have increased my selection of Lelo toys fivefold. Previously, I’ve reviewed the Luna Beads and Lily, both of which left a little something to be desired, so while I was excited when Lelo released Ina and Mona, I wasn’t sure if the toys would work well for me personally. I actually wound up purchasing Ina a while back and have played with her to limited success. I was a little disappointed and thought perhaps Mona would have been a better fit for me and AdultSextoys was kind enough to provide me with Mona (and right before my birthday, too!).

Ina and Mona are very similar if you’re comparing them. Essentially, Ina has a small clitoral stimulator, while Mona is just an insertable shaft. Mona has an angled head for G-spot stimulation, and it’s slightly bulbous but unique from most other G-spot vibes. It’s not exactly spherical, nor is it ovular; at some angles, Mona almost looks like a golf club (but which one? I don’t know. I don’t play).

Mona’s handle is slick white plastic, while the insertable portion is rigid velvety silicone. Mine is a gorgeous red (orange-based, not purple), but you can also get Mona in grape purple. The shaft isn’t large and only has a diameter of 1.43″ but I find that it tapers a bit suddenly and might not be a great beginner’s toy because of this.

Mona offers about 5″ for insertion with another 3.5″ for the handle. The lines are sleek, making this vibrator look quite modern and attractive. The length was more than sufficient for finding my G-spot, and I think most people would be satisfied with Mona’s design.

Mona’s vibrations are fairly strong but a little buzzier than I like. Mona feels drastically weaker than Ina because it only vibrates in one place. I was actually a bit shocked at the difference in performance. I don’t think that Ina’s shaft is any stronger; it just seems that way when both motors are on. Regardless, Mona offers consistent pressure for G-spot stimulation and is easy to wield (she’s quite light!) if you’re into thrusting.

Mona has a lot of vibration variety, but they feel a little lame after experiencing Ina. There are 8 or so settings of steady vibration, slow pulsation, fast pulsation, escalation, up-and-down escalation, and a mode of mixed pulsation and escalation. Everything is controlled with four buttons. Arrows page backward or forward through the modes while you can adjust strength with plus and minus buttons. You can lock Mona when not in use by pressing the plus and minus buttons simultaneously. I cannot specifically remember if Mona’s instructions were unclear, but I know Ina’s manual did not properly describe how to do this.

I had to press buttons multiple times with Mona and Ina. I know others have complained of the same issue. My understanding is that some users could too easily press the buttons on older Lelo designs. It seems a bit like a Goldilocks thing. Too easy, too hard. Give us “just right.”

Initially, you must charge the vibrator with the included adapter until the blinking light remains solid for a full charge. Lelo also says charging takes about 2 hours. Lelo claims up to 4 hours of use for every charge, but I don’t buy that. Both Mona and Ina seem to die pretty quickly (about an hour, I’d say), especially when using the pulsation settings. There is a noticeable decrease in power when this happens. If you’ve used other Lelo toys or vibrators with digital motors, then you may be familiar with the high-pitched whine that sometimes occurs. I noticed this only on the last setting of Mona, however.

Mona comes with a satin bag, typical of Lelo toys. Ina was a bitch to get out of the package, but the glue was practically useless on Mona’s packaging, so it slid out effortlessly. Once you toss that, though, you’re left with Lelo’s traditional storage box.

Aside from storage, you’ll want to take care of Mona, so this sex toy will last you a lifetime. I recommend only water-based lube (Mona is not very comfortable for me without it) and taking care of the charging port when washing. Mona does have a little cover over hers, and it’s fairly secure, so this shouldn’t be too hard. Just ensure it’s not submerged or in the direct stream of water. Mona will pick up a little lint, so you may want to use a microfiber towel and toss it in the storage pouch as quickly as possible.

If I had to toss all my G-spot vibrators save for one, I’d probably keep Mona despite the whiny motor and buttons. Even though it hasn’t made me squirt like Ina, I will definitely keep practicing. Mona seems significantly stronger than other Lelo vibes (Lily or Elise, for example), which gives me high hopes for the direction they’re taking.

This sex toy review sponsored by Adult Sex Toys : over 8,000 sex toys and adult toys to choose from.

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Wet Synergy

June 4th, 2010

Wet Synergy

Wet Synergy
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Wet isn’t the first company to develop a water-silicone hybrid lube but they’re definitely advertising theirs more than other companies (say, Pink). I jumped on the offer to try the new products because they sounded interesting and Wet sent me two bottles: a “regular” version of Synergy and a tingling type.

Each bottle contains 1.9oz of product and is quite tall and narrow with a press-top for dispensing the lube. The regular version has pink detailing against black and silver, while the other bottle has teal details. The bottles themselves are cute.

I tried the regular lube first and was pleased to see it was thicker than any silicone lube I’ve ever had. It’s slightly gel-like but definitely not solid. Texture-wise, Synergy feels like a silicone lubricant and doesn’t get sticky like water, and it lasts well after I am done. I don’t mind silicone lubes with toys–although most of my toys are also made of silicone, so I don’t have that many I can use with it. It’s also scent-free.

I have to be honest, though, I do not like the feel of Synergy for PIV sex. It feels too plastic-y. I never minded condoms, but silicone-based lube feels like a physical barrier and reduces my pleasure. Of course, silicone-based lube leaves an interesting feel on your flesh after use, and that is also true for Synergy.

The tingling version of Synergy is really, really effective. I mean, use with caution. I went a little overboard with it because I wasn’t thinking, and my vagina damn near froze off. Toy play seemed to increase the sensation, and it was a good 10 or 15 minutes of consistent tingles before it started to fade away. It also seemed to make me negatively sensitive and tender, maybe because of the peppermint, which you can definitely smell during use.

Overall, my experience with tingling Synergy was just a little too much. I think I might be extra sensitive to some cooling/tingling lubes, and I would definitely recommend you try out just a bit before diving right into this bottle. I usually do, but my mind is elsewhere.

Wet Synergy does contain one ingredient that some folks prefer not to see in their lubes: glycerin. Besides peppermint, the ingredient lists are identical and read as such:

  • glycerin
  • aqua
  • dimethiconol
  • sodium polyacrylate
  • dimethicone
  • cyclopentasiloxane
  • trideceth-6
  • peg/ppg dimethicone
  • pentylene glycol

Because I do not especially like the feel of silicone lube for intercourse, and most of my toys are silicone, I probably won’t use Synergy frequently. I guess I just prefer water-based lubes, and while I enjoyed the fact that this product is thicker than standard silicone lubes, it doesn’t deviate enough to my liking.

If you’re interested, you can request a sample directly from the Synergy website–which is pretty neat! Synergy is not yet available for sale in most places, so I’m not sure how much it will cost. Wet products are usually fairly reasonable, however.

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Make love to your long distance lover online

One of those days

June 2nd, 2010

Do you ever just have one of those days? I realized I had an opportunity to try out some new toys and lube and start my new erotica book when we lost power but I couldn’t get into the book. I wasn’t thinking and used a shit-ton of tingling lube, which I not only felt strongly but also had a bit of a reaction to. The first vibe I was using turned out to be wonky and my cervix and vagina were super sensitive. I couldn’t squirt at all and my tummy hurt. It was just one clusterfuck of frustration.

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A Day at the Clinic

May 27th, 2010

I got tested the other day, for a couple of STDs. It was my first time; although, in hindsight, it shouldn’t have been. I called up the local Planned Parenthood and scheduled myself an appointment for testing and a Pap smear as my last was long overdue. PP is pretty well know; although, I’d never been to one of their clinics before. My last few paps and my HPV issues were taken care of at military hospitals and while I still have that option, I’ve let my military ID expire because of the impending divorce and I simply hate the medical setup in this city. I would rather die than have to deal with it. No exaggeration.

So I headed in to my 4 o’clock appointment, signed in and watched The People’s Court of something for over and hour while I waited. The room was small, fall and less impressive than I am used to. Even though the facility itself could have used some homey touches, everyone I talked with was incredibly friendly and professional. I went through the usual questions (are you being abused? do you check for breast lumps?) as well as some new procedures (the tech stabbed me in finger to test for iron and I peed in a cup immediately, even when they forgot I wanted testing). I guess they probably have the routine down to an art but some of the things just seemed a bit unnecessary.

When I did remind the tech that I wanted testing, nothing rude was said. No scathing glares or uncomfortable silence like I’ve read in so many other accounts.

I would have liked a proper gown, though. All I got was the flimsy paper sheet but the actual pap and chest test was over and done with soon enough that it doesn’t much matter. Interestingly enough, this is the first pap I’ve had since my G-spot awakened and I could definitely feel the speculum pressing against my G-spot and I was worried about squirting all over the nurse practitioner–but I didn’t!

It’s always frustrating when you wait over an hour for an appointment which takes less than 30 minutes but I didn’t have to wait in between the prep and actual pap, which I appreciate. My experience was ultimately unremarkable.

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Couture Collection Inspire Wand Vibrator

May 24th, 2010

Couture Collection™- inspire

Couture Collection™- inspire
$94.49 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

Thus far, I’ve tried 4 or 5 different pieces from the Couture Collection by California Exotic Novelties, and they have all been pretty weak, if not somewhat attractive in design. The Inspire, however, is not pretty weak. Hell, it’s not even “pretty strong.” It is, by far, the strongest toy I own. In fact, it may well be too strong for me.

Inspire is the third wand-style massager I own, after the Miracle Massager and Ideal (which I found to be less than). It’s both stronger and smaller than the Miracle Massager, a vibrator I’ve come to enjoy for its broad head and its strong vibrations. The head of the Inspire is much smaller and rounded, which means I have to use the toy differently despite its overall genre.

Inspire is also kinda weird in that it’s an electric vibe, but you can unplug the adapter from the port on the toy. Initially, I thought this meant that it’s rechargeable, but it’s not. Some people like being able to swap power sources or whatever, but this is just kind of confusing to me.

Speaking of confusion, so was the control button, initially. There is a single button. One click turns it on. If you want to increase the setting, you have to press and hold it, but a quick click turns off the power. I am constantly turning it off when I want more power or the opposite. It’s supposed to be a little intuitive, but it will take some adjustment, especially because it’s so uncommon. If all vibrators used similar controls, this this would probably be great (alas, most controls suck!).

Anyway, I find myself really only using the lower settings because it’s hard for me to take a lot of power directly, and Inspire’s vibrations are much more pinpoint than those of the Miracle Massager. The spherical head of the Inspire has a diameter of 1.59″, definitely smaller than most wand massagers. It’s shorter, too, about 7.5″ in total length.

Another interesting aspect of the design is that the head of the Inspire massager is covered 2/3 of the way by a silicone cap. The cap offers a bit of give, but the head beneath it is made of hard plastic. You can take this off to clean it and slip it back on when you’re done. The cap will “gap” around the head if it’s not correctly aligned, however. Just turn it until it sits smoothly. It isn’t seamless, though. Like all silicone, be careful with silicone-based lubes and prepare for lint.

The head of the Inspire is on a flexible neck. I suppose there’s a spring beneath the accordion-folded plastic (maybe silicone?) that coats the neck. It offers a nice range of flexibility; however, liquids can easily find themselves between the folds of the material, and it seems a bitch to clean.

I mentioned before that I use this a little differently than the Miracle Massager because of its size and shape. I find myself focusing on the leg of my clitoral organ and moving it in quick back-and-forth movements. I’ve done this with other toys, like the Lily, but it’s definitely easier to hold the Inspire because it has a bigger (but not huge) handle. There’s also a slight curve to it, but I’m not sure if I’d really call it ergonomic. It doesn’t seem to help or hinder my use.

I also mentioned used the Inspire on lower settings because the vibrations are so shaky, they’re almost violent on higher settings. Surprisingly, the Inspire isn’t nearly as loud as you might think. The lower settings are quiet enough to use with the door closed, maybe some white noise. You might have to ensure someone in the same house is pretty distracted with the higher settings, though.

I’m lucky enough to have my bed a few feet from the wall, so the cord on the Inspire is more than adequate. It’s a bit over 8′ long, actually and thicker than most chargers but thin enough that my cats haven’t tried chewing on it. Yuck. A red light glows on the handle when the Inspire is plugged in.

Ultimately, the Inspire gave me a few good orgasms. The kind that leaves you all sweaty, yet you still want to get off just one more time. Or maybe that’s just me. But I don’t think it will be my go-to toy because it’s not quite my style.

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Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

May 23rd, 2010

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

My first experience with pheromones was at a sex toy party at the last base we lived at. The company rep basically told us that because pheromones are registered in the nose but aren’t actually smells, we will think there is a smell and as the pheromones mix with your individual chemical makeup, that “smell” we think is there will be different for every person. So we dabbed some pheromones on our wrists and I “smelled” quite nice, thank you very much. But I forgot about the concept for a couple of years cause it wasn’t like I was lacking sex.

The idea of a his-and-hers type pheromone spray was attractive, though, as was the packaging. Pipedream did well with the black box (with silver details) contrasting with the bright blue and pink liquid. Unless you’re not very fond of hetero-normative implications, which the blue/pink dichotomy certainly suggests. Sorry. In the event that you didn’t notice the bright colours, the blue bottle has the “male” symbol and the pink has the “female” symbol.

So this narrow box houses a double-ended tube, like some lipgloss-type products. There is a magnetic flap on top, similar to Fun Factory toys that you can lift to see the product. The tubes themselves are clear glass, and the blue or pink liquid really looks awesome and kind of.. chemistry-ish. The silver band in the middle is the cap for both little spray bottles; you pull one off to use it. This means that you can’t separate the pair and still cap them both. It’s kind of a minor annoyance but something I couldn’t help but notice.

Spray bottles are pretty easy to use, right? So spray onto your pulse points (neck, wrists and some other place I forget) and let the product go to work. Except, it kind of smells like gross chemicals when you initially spray it. It fades, and then you cannot smell anything at all. I’d almost rather smell like chemicals, so I know it’s there.

Regardless, Pure Sex Pheromone Spray just doesn’t seem to work in practice. Only one time out of five or so seemed to elicit any response, and I’m willing to bet it was because I’m dead sexy or, at the very least, the circumstances surrounding it. That’s not a very impressive track record.

Honestly, I think it would help if this produced any sort of scent at all, so it would have the “I’m so naughty, I’m wearing pheromones” thing going for it. I know products like these sometimes seem to work simply because of the power suggestion, but Pure Sex Pheromone Spray didn’t even offer me that.

Much to do about nothing, I suppose. I recommend you buy a nice perfume or cologne, instead.

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Get up to 30% off at MysteryVibe

You know the joke..

May 22nd, 2010

I am getting over my period, for the third time in three months. Most women between the ages of 13 and 60 or so wouldn’t think twice about this but since getting my IUD, I haven’t consistently gotten my period for years. It was a bit surprising to get it 2 months in a row but the third? Wow!

I’m a little annoyed. I mean, it’s natural and healthy but it’s annoying and I feel like I’m losing time. I’d rather not be crampy or bleeding or ruining panties or too uncomfortable to masturbate.

It also reminds me that I don’t have a family and my biological clock has been ticking, oddly enough, for the last 3 months or so. Truth be told, I’m not sure if it’s because my brain is sending out some sort of hormone.. or if maybe the growing up I’ve been forced to do and my desire for a greater purpose in life (IE, a family) has awakened my biological clock.

But while my period only lasts one week a month, this ticking shows no signs of abating.

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