Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator

February 17th, 2012

Trojan Midnight Collection Vibrator
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The Trojan Midnight Collection vibrator gets a pass from me. In fact, almost a glowing review.

Unlike some G-spot vibrators, this one offers a little girth in addition to the effective G-spot curve. The ridges in the silicone and rigid inner mechanism allow you to easily stimulate your g-spot while feeling fulled. Because the curve of this vibrator is less extreme than the Pure Wand, for example, it doesn’t curl back on you to stab you in the pubic mound.

The multi-position feature is a joint in the center that allows you to turn the shaft in several places so it becomes a gentle “S” shape again. This might be easier to use depending on your position of specific preferences and it also makes this toy better for partner play than the Pure Wand.

The buttons are easy to use and find, which is something that even the big names struggle with (I’m talking about you JeJoue!). One button turns on and up vibrations while the other turns down or off the vibrations. The soft, silicone buttons are located on the end of the toy — that curves toward you when using it as a “C” shape — and are raised. They’re easy to press whether your hands are covered in lube or you have nails. Sweet!

The vibrations are powered by 2AA batteries, so they fall on the moderately rumbly side of things. I like AAs. They’re my power source of choice if I’m using battery-powered toys. The first setting is lackluster, so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that made me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.

I am pretty impressed with the look of this vibrator. The hard plastic has this sheen to it that seems very luxurious. The layer of silicone over the insertable portion is a little squishy, unlike many silicone-coated vibrators. Squishy enough that my cats have already chewed on it, ha! The ridges are very prominent and not suitable for someone who doesn’t enjoy intense stimulation.

Although it is clear in the images, I cannot stress how large this toy is. Its materials aren’t very heavy; however, smaller hands may have a harder time grasping the entire handle. I would have expected Trojan to market a toy for sex toy newbies, and while they may enjoy this, the person who will love this vibrator best is really the one who wants full, intense stimulation with moderate vibrations.

If the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator were the only G-spot vibrator in my collection, I’d be happy. I would recommend it to others but I do think the price is a bit steep. Babeland doesn’t offer a lot of vibratos in this same price range so this one is filling a gap. You couldn’t wrong saving $20 and buying the Fun Factory Boss instead.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

24K Double Pleasure

February 13th, 2012

This is an archived review. Joyful Pleasures no longer exists, and I have since found out they are not a reputable company.

If you’re looking to buy similar glass toys, check out Lilly’s post on glass safety first!

Joyful Pleasure is a new manufacturer that is now being carried by My Pleasure. They have a bunch of cool designs that you should check out. I was given a chance to review their gold-hued dildo. To be honest, I’m not sure if it’s actually just tinted or actually has gold fumes.

I’ve used a lot of toys, you guys. Some of them are good, some of them are bad. Few of them are great. Reviewing definitely has become mundane. And then a toy like this comes along and I’m like “Where have you been all my life?”

In fact, I think I will write this entire review as a conversation between me and this dildo.

Dildo: Knock Knock

Adriana: Come in, come in!

[Dildo Steps In]

Adriana: WOW, you are motherfucking gorgeous. I mean, your profile picture were hawt but I want to wax poetic about your beauty. Those pictures do NOT do you justice.

Dildo: Thank you. I try.

Adriana: You also remind me a lot of another dildo I tried. I liked it. I haven’t used it for a while. I wonder if you’d be any better.

24k Double Pleasure

Dildo: Why don’t you try me and find out?

Adriana: Can I bathe you first?

Dildo: I’m not self-conscientious at all.

Adriana: Awesome! Wow, you sure have a purdy shine under water. You’re super slick and easy to clean, but I had better be careful not to break your head off. I’d cry and cry and cry.

Dildo: Can we play now, Adriana?

Adriana: Of course. I’ll just add a little lube. Wait, you’re so clear, I can’t even see the lube. Where the hell did it go? Okay, I’ll just add some more, even though you’re so slick I really need very little.

[Editor’s note: although this toy doesn’t seem all that large, the 1.5″ diameter feels a little larger due to the unforgiving nature of glass and both the ridges and nubs raise 1/8″ from the surface]

Dildo: Why don’t you try my ridges first? They’re exceptional and I’ll bet they’ll stimulate your G-spot nicely.

Adriana: I bet you wi– HOLY SHIT! YOU ARE AMAZING! I FORGOT THAT MASTURBATING CAN ACTUALLY FEEL GOOD. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I NEVER WANT TO STOP.

Dildo: Isn’t it awesome how you can feel every ridge? And how my firmness and gentle curve makes it easy to hit all the right spots? And the head on the other side is pretty good to hold onto, don’t you think?

Adriana: OH GOD YES.

And so Adriana thoroughly enjoyed the shit out of that dildo, remembering that masturbation could be enjoyable and not just a means to and end. She then decided to try out the other end.

Adriana: Hmm, this is a little disappointing. These bumps don’t do much for me at all.

Dildo: I’m sorry, would you like me to go away?

Adriana: No, never! Shut up! I’ll stick fuck the other side of you.

And so she did. The end.

Gorgeous Glass Dildos

In case you’re the type of person who is caught up with trivial details, here’s a copy footnotes.

  • This dildo comes with no storage, so that’s sad.
  • It’s 9″ in length. The 1.5″ diameter is at the widest point of the heads, not the shaft itself. The shaft remains about 1″ in diameter — without the textures — and is consistent in girth.
  • The heads, for me, didn’t do anything. I was using the textures against my G-spot.
  • The ridges are actually a continuous line swirled down the shaft to produce 4 or so ridges on any side. There are 4 rows of bumps as well.
  • Apparently, I liked bumps better when I tried my first glass dildo. Weird.

6 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist

January 30th, 2012

Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist

Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist
from

Sadly, this product was discontinued after it was my daily scent for a decade.

When I love a product, it gets a lot of use. I have used the Wanna Be Sexy Flirty Body Mist nearly every day since I received it. That is, to say, it kicks ass. Rather than give you a complete run-down — because we all know what body mist is — here are the pros and cons you should know.

Pros

This body mist smells great. Classic Erotica has ditched the previous and, might I add, not very awesome “Seduction” in place of pink cupcake. It’s sweet and reminiscent of vanilla cake batter but pinker due to the berries. The body mist, however, is slightly more vanilla than berry-like. If you’re not a fan of feminine, young, sweet scents, this is not for you.

The smell lasts. When I first opened the bottle, I sprayed the air in front of me, and the smell was powerful and long-lasting enough to stay with me as I ran to the store. One pump. Pretty impressive from a body spray. Now that I’ve become more accustomed to it, it doesn’t smell quite so strong to me (others probably notice it more), but every time I enter a new room or environment, the smell wafts up to me and delights my nose. For some reason, it’s easy to smell outside!

A little goes a long way. The pump on this bottle creates a finer mist than others. It’s not as wet, which is a plus by itself, but this means that less sprays out at once. Because the spray is long-lasting, this isn’t a problem and it actually means that it one 6-ounce bottle will go further. In fact, even though I’ve used it almost every day and, most days, multiple times, you can barely tell I’ve opened the bottle!

The bottle clearly states that it is paraben-free, sugar-free and sulfate-free. It’s also made in the USA and not tested on animals. These are some pretty cool qualities because sometimes the sensual health and beauty companies don’t give a crap about chemicals that can possibly irritate or dry skin or ethical issues.

It’s affordable. The per-unit price per bottle is definitely slightly cheaper than body sprays from Bath and Body Works.

The overall design is improved. Classic Erotica has updated its product designs and website, I believe. The new label is pink and girly with curly fonts and swirly hearts. It’s much cleaner and, in my opinion, looks better in person than in product images. The spray has been dyed slightly pink, which looks cute.

The bottle comes with a cap that makes it more — but not perfectly — travel-friendly. The cap can come off, however.

So what’s slightly less than awesome?

  • It smells a little syrupy at first. It passes, though! You only need to deal with it for a few seconds.
  • It doesn’t need to be pink.
  • It doesn’t last forever.
  • Some people won’t like cupcake scents.
  • I don’t believe in pheromones/think they’re overrated but no one’s complained that I smell like a wild animal or anything. Because I love the scent, I feel more attractive and that’s what counts!
  • The nozzle seems to gunk up after a while. This has happened two 3 out of 4 of the last bottles I purchased.

Really, though, if you know yourself to like sweet smells like this, give it a try!

3 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Sexual Health and Beauty

Red Velvet and Absinthe

January 12th, 2012

Red Velvet and Absinthe

Red Velvet and Absinthe
$14.95 from Amazon

After a while, erotica starts to look a lot alike. There are so many collections I have that.. I do not care anything about. There’s maybe three that really stand out and Red Velvet and Absinthe is one of those. I mean, the idea of paranormal erotica is pretty cool and I expected werewolves and vampires — which I got — but some of the more ghostly and unusual ideas were really memorable.

So, of course, werewolves and vampires are heavy in this book. The first few stories I read were only about werewolves. I wasn’t reading them in order so it almost seemed as though the editor has purposefully shied away from vampires because, you know, Twilight sucks.. There are also some vampire stories, including one with a lesbian slant. Ghosts make their appearance in this book and there’s one extremely interesting voodoo doll story. All in all, if you like the paranormal or are turned on by the unusual, I can’t recommend this enough.

My favorites include Dolly with the aforementioned voodoo doll, in which a young woman makes her doll and with it brings to life a person/creature and begins a sexual and romantic relationship that ends with an interestingly sweet twist. Anna Meadows paints a picture worth a thousand years in her story Painted about a young man’s fixation with a painting of an alluring woman. I could practically feel the walls shaking as I read through a thunderstorm scene. La Belle Morte is not a story with a happy ending for the protagonist, a young woman who is on death row, but the author somehow manages to cause the reader to forget the fact as the woman escapes into sexual fantasies with a strange visitor. An angel even makes an appearance in the very last story, Benediction.

There’s a few caveats, though, and I suspect these issues won’t be problematic for everyone. The focus here is on quality writing and story-telling rather than erotic happenings so if you’re the “want it now” type, you might find some of these to take too long to get to the good stuff or don’t spend enough time on it. I did skip a few longer stories because I usually prefer them short. With that said, I also went back to read stories that I’d skipped when I wasn’t trying to get off because I found the material to be interesting. People who don’t necessarily read erotica to get off will probably like the caliber of the writing in this book.

Secondly, Red Velvet and Absinthe focuses on romance. The sex is either between committed partners or implies commitment despite the paranormal circumstances in a til-death-do-us-part-and-sometimes-not-even-then sort of way. One night stands aren’t really part of the repertoire. Still, the romance is done in a dark and Gothic sort of way, with vampires turning their beloveds so that they can spend eternity together or one story which takes place in a prison cell. Danger is common-place as mere mortals dally with werewolves and other beastly creatures. It’s quite thrilling.

Really, that’s why I found myself both getting off and continuing to read just to see what happens next. That’s pretty high praise and I can say, without doubt, I’d love to reread the stories in this book.

8 Comments

Categories: Books, Reviews

VixSkin Tex

November 30th, 2011

Tex

Tex
$72.99 from SheVibe

If the house were on fire and I had just enough time to grab one sex toy (assuming the cats, laptop and Mountain Dew were safe), I’d grab the Vixen Tex. I’d be sad to leave some behind, like the Yooo or Tango but I’d replace those. I probably wouldn’t replace any of my Lelo toys. I’d opt for cheaper G-spot vibes in general.

The reason is simple: VixSkin is awesome. It’s soft without being floppy. It’s surface isn’t perfect so it’s more skinlike. It’s squishy and it just feels good. There are few materials that I can comfortable thrust with. My vaignal walls and cervix don’t like rigid or aggressive movements so unless I used a harder toy slowly, it kills me. So I can thrust with Tex and it feels good. It also feels fantastic when I’m orgasming. Generally, I hold it in place while that occurs, and the way my muscles contract around it feels more like sex than any toy I have. During thrusting, it’s just a tad too soft to feel real but, my God, it replicates the feeling of cumming around a cock amazingly.

So that’s my case for VixSkin but I really like the size and shape of Tex, specifically. I bought this one (gasp!) after I accidentally ruined my Spur. Spur was a smaller thing. Tex is larger but it’s not super long, which is something I also like (re: cervix). Tex measures in at 5″ long with a diameter of 1.5″ at the widest part of the shaft. Tex has a rounded, realistic head with a split down the center. Below the corona is another slight ridge that I can’t necessarily feel in use but looks realistic.

The shaft increases slightly in diameter toward the base, which is flat, round and perfect for use in a harness. Tex would also be okay for anal use, I think but you might find it a bit short with a strap-on. This isn’t a problem for me and I find the base super easy to hold on to or to hold in place between my thighs.

Tex does have a slight curve to it which is a-okay for hitting my G-spot. I don’t tend to use this one for squirting as much as I do vibrators but it’s great for that. Tex is filling enough that it’ll sit against my G-spot with no finagling at all and the curve ensures it’ll hit the spot even when you’re thrusting and not holding it in place.

The squishiness of Tex does make it feel slightly smaller and less abrasive than harder toys but this special formula from Vixskin is a little more demanding than regular silicone. You should reaaaally stay away from silicone based lubes. I used just a tiny packet when I ruined my Spur. The softer formula is more reactive. Silicone is a lint attractant so I actually store my Tex in the cylindrical container it came in. It’s a little bulky but always easy to use and, if you have multiple Vixen toys, you can see through it to pick one out. Tex is still non-porous and you can clean it with soap and water.

Tex is available for around $70 from some retailers and it’s worth every fucking cent. Especially if you think the size will work well for you. Vixen makes this dildo in several skin-tone shades, including vanilla, chocolate and caramel. Hell, why not get one in every color?

9 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Metal Worx Curve

November 9th, 2011

Metal Worx Curve

Metal Worx Curve
from

Note: this is an archived review of a discontinued product, but you can buy the Fun Wand, which Pipedream knocked off.

I know Pipedream is getting a lot of flak for basically copying Njoy’s designs in its new Metal Worx line, and I have to say, I understand why. Most of the designs are far from original. However, I’m also glad to see a big name get into making quality metal dildos because this means there are more options and more affordable options for broke bastards like myself who want to experience metal at a lower price tag. For comparison, the Metal Worx Curve is a ripoff of the Njoy Fun Wand, which FunWares carries for $66. The Curve is just under $43. That’s a significant savings, in my opinion.

There are slight differences between these pieces, though. The Curve has four bumps on the one end. This makes it 2″ longer than the Fun Wand — for a total of 10″. The largest balls on the Fun Wand have a 1″ diameter while the larger on the Curve, at the G-spot end, is 1.25″ in diameter. This same ball is entirely spherical, while all the bumps on the Fun Wand are oblong. The four balls on the other end of the Curve are oblong, however.

I think that I would like the Curve better than the Fun Wand. This is where I remind you that the Pure Wand didn’t do it for me. It was bulky and hard to handle and one end was too small, the other end too large. It curved too much, ultimately missing my G-spot. At this point, I wish I hadn’t swapped it away for comparison photos but c’est la vie.

The Curve has a less drastic curve and because the other end curves away from my body, I can use it without stabbing myself in the mons. The four bumps also make for a good handhold, another complaint I had about the Pure Wand. The ball at the end is ridiculously good at finding my G-spot. In fact, I’d hazard a guess that I finally experienced the uber gushing that many women reported after using the Pure Wand. More FE than ever.

The balled end is more of an anal toy; although, I did try it vaginally. It felt interesting, but the dildo is just unbalanced. The other end is much heavier, and I found it difficult to control the balls. A more shallow thrusting was required, and I’m just not that patient. In addition to this, the last ball is just kind of pointy and the result was more pain than I like.

Cervix, you’re a bitch.

Here’s the thing, though. This line is not as high quality as Njoy’s toys, period. Some toys shipped with serious defects. It’s no wonder Metal Worx toys are a) not stainless steel; just steel and b) suffer from a serious lack of quality control if toys can ship with such issues. Pipedream stopped making them.

I didn’t notice any serious defects when I first examined the Curve nor when I washed it. Mine is definitely usable but it’s not as luxury as the Pure Wand. I took a closer look and noticed some “bubbles” in the finish as well as what look like “dried drips,” like you would get with paint. Picture for emphasis.

Metal Worx Curve Finish

Unfortunately, it’s a little difficult to take a picture of something reflective. I’m no photog.

Like Njoy, Pipedream has gone with a custom box for these. It’s a locking metal case that reminds me of a toolbox or some of the storage chests floating around. I don’t find the button to work very well so I have to manually lift the latch. Also, boxes are bulky so I’d be happy with a pouch, anyway. It does minimize packaging, though.

Ultimately, Pipedream has done some sleazy copying and some cheap production. I got lucky enough to get a usable Metal Worx dildo and it was super effective. I can’t say that the Fun Wand would be my best friend but you have to consider the chances of getting a dud if you want to save money and opt for the Metal Worx products. For some, it won’t be worth the risk.

4 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Simply Blown G-Glass Dildo

October 10th, 2011

G-Glass Dildo

G-Glass Dildo
$160 from Simply Blown

I drooled over Simply Blown’s products when I first saw them. I delighted whenBabeland started carrying them and pretty much squeeled when they sent me one for review. I could have cried when I saw they were no longer carrying them and while Babeland didn’t require me to write a review, I wanted to because these are awesome products.

The thing that draws the eye is that Simply Blown somehow fills their glass pieces with a bright color, like red or blue, and there’s a layer of clear glass around this. It’s breathtaking and, let me tell you, even more amazing in person.

I received a red G-Glass dildo and if the piece itself is a work of art, the box is understated. It’s a simple grey box with a formed foam insert that highlights the sex toy inside and nothing else. Not surprisingly, my piece was heavy. Heavier than any rabbit or the Pure Wand. Heavy enough that I will never use it for extended periods of time lest my arms fall off.

But I won’t have to because the weight and the gentle curve of a Simply Blown glass dildo are perfect for hitting the G-spot, for applying pressure in just the right way and getting the job done in no time. In fact, I was squirting before I even had time to try both sides. I’m pretty sure the wider end is intended more for insertion, but the smaller end is usable, too, especially if you’re not quite ready for the 1.59” diameter. This toy is already heading toward larger status, but the rigid glass definitely makes it feel huge. The girth stays about the same for most of the length. The smaller end is actually just about as wide, with no tapering, but it does slim down to about 1.27” about 1” into the toy.

The dildo I have measures around 7.5” from tip to tip. Unfortunately, Simply Blown doesn’t provide any storage options, and I find boxes to be bulky, so I’ll probably adjust my toys so I can steal a padded bag from something else.

Like all things glass, take care when washing and storing. Dropping could break the toy, your floor, or a toe. Ouch! Go easy with lube because it’s already so slick, and if you’d like, apply warm or cool water for temperature play, but go slowly so avoid burning yourself or stressing the glass.

You can find the G-glass dildo and other striking toys on the Simply Blown website.

2 Comments

Categories: Dildos, Reviews

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.