Minna Limon

June 16th, 2014

I don’t think I can write a glowing review for the Minna Limon without writing a scathing paragraph or two about the Minna Ola, which I reviewed over a year ago but I’m not quite sure I was able to express my distaste for this toy then. And it’s only grown since then.

Both the Limon and Ola use ‘touch sensitive’ controls. The harder you squeeze it, the stronger the vibes. In theory, I like this. In practice, it’s a very specific sort of control that’s different from any other toy and when done poorly, well, you have the Ola. The problem with the Ola would simply be solved if the part that you squeeze

  1. Wasn’t a horizontal
  2. Wasn’t “flat”

Because of this design, you have to awkwardly turn your and learn how to use a new toy. Minna should have gone ahead with a bulbous/round squeezy part to begin with. That’s exactly what they did with the tear-drop-esque Limon, and that’s why I love it.  I can comfortable grasp from just about any angle, so there’s no right way to hold the Limon. This makes the vibrator heads and tails more friendly than the first toy from Minna.

Now, within the round part you grasp is a flatter mechanism so you could maybe grab it at exactly the wrong angle and not be able to get good vibes out of it, but this seems pretty unlikely, and it’s much easier to adjust without messing up the point of contact. While the Ola had a specific shape for the G-spit — you’d ideally keep it oriented one way — Limon is, well, lemon shaped. The nodule at the top is kind of nipple-like, and there’s no right or wrong. You can also lie it against your vulva, clit, nipples or what-have-you so you get more pressure from the sides.

The silicone is plush with give, which makes it comfortable to hold, and I can certainly grind right against it without worrying about sharp corners or cutting myself with my sex toys, which I’ve been known to do in the past.

What I really really really fucking love about the Limon is that squeezing doesn’t even need hands. You could squeeze it in your elbow. Or between your partner’s body and your own. Or between your thighs for hands-free stimulation. I don’t think this was the company’s intent, but Minna Limon works extremely well when used like this. Perhaps you couldn’t make it work if your thigh gap is huge, but I can just lie there, position the Limon between my legs and squeeze my thighs about it. It actually reminds me a lot of the sort of thigh squeezing I would do during adolescence when aroused. There’s something reassuring about going back to old ways.

Like Minna’s Ola, Limon has a bit of a learning curve. There are essentially 3 modes:

  • Free
  • Recording
  • Playback

Squeeze harder or play with squeezing and letting go to create a freeform masturbation jam session in the first setting. This is the one I use the most. As per usual, I squeezed the thing like I was The Mountain and it was Oberyn. But I love the option to squeeze and release and create unique pulsations. If you’re the type who maybe likes the unexpected, “recording” a setting like this might be up your alley. It’s more difficult to immitate escalation, but that’s fine by me.

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

I found your green lantern, Hal Jordan

With a single button, Limon is easy to use. Turn it on, cycle through the modes and turn it back off. When you turn it on “Minna” lights up beneath the plush silicone. This is cute but not functional.  The light also flashes pretty brightly during charging. I can’t charge this in my bedroom while I sleep. I’d go insane. But you could use it as a freakin’ nightlight.

I’ll be honest — Limon isn’t a surprising little powerhouse.  It’s certainly stronger than some USB-powered toys, but it doesn’t come anywhere near some of the battery-powered toys I’ve used, either. No one would make a comparison with the Hitachi. And the first time I used it, I was pretty impressed with the strength of the vibrations given the size. They’re rumbly-ish.

However, the vibrations seemed much weaker the second time around, like the Limon wasn’t quite holding charge right. I also had a weird issue where it wasn’t quite responding right. I’d had it on for some time (30 minutes?), and it was fine after I turned it off and back on, but it would be worth noting if others run into this. Of course, I could just have a slightly glitchy vibe.

Limon has two magnetic points and comes with a little based to charge. It reminds me an awful lot of the Form 2. However, the magnets are pretty strong, helping to orient the toy and base and keep it in place as it charges. If your cats run over your nightstand, it will fall out of place but it’s not nearly as finicky as other magnetic chargers. Plus, you can use it for storage. I wouldn’t because my cats eat sex toys. There’s a tiny satin bag with it. Good enough for me.

So, there you have it. Yes, I’m a finicky bitch, but yes the Limon passes the test and even surpasses my expectations in surprising ways. Some people are going to need more strength, but the ingenuity of this toy makes up where vibrations lack for the Limon in my book.

11 Comments


Ovo T1 Vibrator

August 13th, 2013

I’m always excited when I learn of new toy brands. It was no exception with Ovo, a European country that uses these wonderful shades of purple that I cannot resist. Yes, I know. You all hate purple. I fucking love it. Deal with it.

They have so many toys that it’s almost impossible to tell them apart, actually. I compared the various internal and clitoral vibes and decided that I’d go for one of the “lay on” style. Ovo makes both battery-powered and rechargeable vibes, but Pinkcherry currently only carries the battery-powered style, so I opted for the T1.

I knew it would be a tiny toy, but this thing is just minuscule in my hand. Yes, even my tiny, child-like hands. For comparison., here’s the toy next to Siri and Layaspot. Now, it’s so small that you almost have to wonder how they can fit a battery and a motor in there. My best guess? They didn’t – not really.

Ovo uses a single AAA, which should have warned me in the beginning. I don’t generally like toys that use 2 AAAs, so this would be underpowered for me, of course. Now, it’s better than any watch battery-powered vibe, yes. In fact, its output surprised me, but you have to get the battery in there, and that’s just a trial.

I suppose the design of this vibe is intended for you to pinch the backside with your middle finger and thumb, leaving your index finger to operate it. I always press down on the nose of the toy, so this is lost on me. However, there’s a plastic panel on the underside of this toy that you’re supposed to remove to inert the battery. A little dimple lets me know that this is the case, but you’re going to need the power of Christ to compel it open. Seriously. It’s a bitch. Unless you’re Wolverine, you fingernails will break before you get this open. Every time I’ve opened the battery pack, I’ve had to wedge something in there to do this. The thing that you wedge in there has to be pretty tiny, however. Like a metal nail file. Keys are too big. The rest of the underside of the toy is silicone, while the top if velvety plastic.

And the battery cover definitely isn’t waterproof or even splash proof. I gave it a normal washing, and when I popped off the cover, a bunch of water dripped out. This is a clusterfuck of terrible. Even if I loved this toy, I would likely forget about it after the battery died the first time.

So, once you get the battery in the damned thing, there’s a tiny plastic button to push. Yes, it’s got haptic feedback. No, I don’t like it. The button is so small that my fingertip takes up almost the whole thing. What do I want? I don’t know. Anything else. Two buttons. A bigger button. Something, anything that isn’t just designed to be form over function.

I’d like to point out that sticking sharp objects against plastic vibes tends to, you know, scratch the fuck out of them. Man, I almost feel like I’m writing a review for the original iPhone. “Looks great, for 5 minutes.” And, really, all the toys in this line are aesthetically appealing to me, but I just don’t think that’s enough. They’ve got to get me off. Like, hello? That’s the point, guys.

It’s a shame that the power output of this is so meager because I do like the shape. The way that it swoops out under the back of the toy creates a greater angle that better cups my mons, like the Layaspot. I can get a bit more pressure with this vibe than I can with Siri.

Layaspot, Siri and Ovo

At about 1 inch tall and 3 inches long, the tiny toy fits in my panties, and it’s certainly a better option for that type of stimulation than the ridiculous bullets you get with “vibrating panties.” The shape is likely unobtrusive enough to use during partner sex, but I haven’t tried it that way. You can see from my photo that this is smaller than Layaspot and Siri; although, it’s not shiny like it looks in the photo. My flash kept washing it out.

Do I really like anything about this toy? Yes. Sure, the plastic has a satin finish, and the particular shade of purple – metallic violet, they call it – really grabs me. But this isn’t exactly seamless, especially around the battery pack. The packaging indicates luxury without being bulky or hard to recycle. This T1 comes in a little box and sits snugly in a foam insert. There’s a cutout where the manual and guide sit vertically. These are tiny little books are about 1” square. It’s compact and a great use of space, but it’s not a saving grace.

So my verdict? This is not a toy worth the suggested price. PinkCherry $28 price tag is certainly more fair, but I would pass on all the Ovo vibes with a similar power source. Ovo has really underwhelmed me. I guess the tiny size indicates that this company has failed to look at the big picture.

 

7 Comments


U Touch Up

June 6th, 2013

I was excited when I first found out about the U Touch line by Topco. I haven’t used as many of the company’s products as I have other lines, but I generally thought of Topco as more generic. However, the U Touch line brings with it sophisticated designs and unique controls are a step in the right direction for the company in my opinion. In fact, this is part of the “UltraZone” line, which includes a few toys I wouldn’t mind trying.

Even the packaging is a step up. U Touch toys come in boxes that secure with magnets. Pull open a ribbon, and you’ll see the toy nestled there. The chargers, with multiple power adapters, and instruction book are nestled in a smaller box in a separate compartment. This whole box is in an outer cardboard sleeve. All in all, it’s nice, but I prefer something a little less bulky. Topco isn’t offering storage pouches with this line, which is something that I’d prefer.

Topco sent me both the U Touch Down and the U Touch Up, which struck me as incredibly similar to the Lelo Siri, which is one of the toys on my Divine Toy box, meaning I actually use it since first trying it. I couldn’t help but take some comparison pictures, in fact.

So, I took a few pictures of the two side by side. There’s some definite similarities in the design; however, the U Touch Up is larger than Siri. The bottoms of the toys also have different shapes. While most clit toys tend to curve against the body, the U Touch Up seems to bulge out in a round way.

The hard plastic of the plastic also flattens out much more as you can see in the photo above. I actually found this shape to be a little less ideal for me personally. I like getting pressure, but found that the rounded underside wasn’t working. Perhaps if it had been concave or more angled. I wound up using the very tip of the U Touch Up, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s just not as intuitive as I’d like.

U Touch Up and Siri

U Touch Up and Siri

Both have silicone where the toy will touch your body. I got the pink, which is very light. A similarly-feminine violet is familiar. For a while, the product page described is as magenta, which it is not. The silicone on this is a little more plush and softer than the Siri. It’s silky smooth to the touch, and while the vibe isn’t exactly seamless, it’s put together well. You might want to take extra care about the seam when washing it, but the toy is waterproof.

I probably wouldn’t be concerned if the vibrations were a little stronger. These toys have an internal motor, which you charge via magnetic adapter. It reminds me of the magnetic charger that comes with Fun Factory’s newer toys. The magnet part is round and flashes while charging. Instead of plugging directly into the wall, the end is a regular USB plug, so you could charge this with the included adapter block or with your computer, which is convenient. I won’t lie; I stole the adapter block to use with my iPod, so that it doesn’t have to share the same adapter as my phone.

The result is fairly buzzy and pretty weak vibrations — from the vibe, not my iPod. To add to my disappointment, the vibe always returns to the setting you last used it on. Unfortunately, I wind up thinking I can turn it up, but it’s already maxed out. It’s no secret that I like strong, deep vibrations.

The controls leave a little to be desired as well. Topco is trying to do something new, which I admire, but I don’t think they’re quire there. The control panel uses touch sensitive buttons that have backlighting but lack haptic feedback. There’s a little indentation where the buttons are, so I can find them, but I never quite know if I’m actually pressing a button.

You’d think that the four-button setup is pretty easy, and there is a + button as well as a – button. The other two cycle through other settings, too. However, the + button doesn’t turn on vibrations. Instead, you have to hold the up and down arrows simultaneously for a few seconds to turn it on and off. This is completely lacking in intuitiveness in my opinion. I should be able to turn it on by simply pressing the + button and turn it off by pressing the -.

What makes it worse is that all the toys in the U Touch line come with the same, generic instruction manual that doesn’t actually talk about the toy itself. It has general instructions for inserting batteries, when there are none. Nowhere does it say that you have to press both buttons to turn on the toy. There is a note about how the toy locks, and I do have to say that I like this feature. It locks while it’s on after five seconds of disuse. Because I frequently accidentally turn off vibes, I like this feature. Pressing the + and – buttons simultaneously unlocks it. Of course, I find that I have to stop playing and raise the toy to my face to see those buttons. Sadly, there’s no indication that you’ve turned it from locked to unlocked, which is pretty inconvenient. I’d like to see the control panel blink a couple times or something when I’m trying to press a button to indicate locked status. A similar blink when it turns off would be useful.

Remember when I talked about feedback? Well, the lack of it makes it really hard to tell how many settings there are. Plus, I seem to have to press the buttons repeatedly to get them to work. Siri’s buttons just seem to make much more sense. I counted about 13 speeds. Apparently, there are 16. This is overkill, and fewer speeds would likely make it easier to differentiate between them.

The top speed is a little loud and higher-pitched than Siri. The lower output makes me feel a little disappointed. Aside from steady vibes, there’s a number of pulsation and escalation settings, but the weak vibrations do seem to hinder them from being fully effective. Ultimately, it took a lot of time and effort on my part to get off with this toy because the shape and vibrations just don’t cut it.

One awesome feature and a generally high-quality build doesn’t save this toy. I imagine that many people want more feedback when pressing buttons, and it seems like Topco tried too many new ideas at once. The touch control panel definitely needs some work, but I would like to see improvements because I want to love it. I just can’t… yet.

3 Comments


Le Reve Rechargeable

May 6th, 2013

I have such a love-hate relationship with rechargeable vibes. I mean, you don’t have to buy batteries, which is awesome. Some of them are super strong – -also awesome. Being able to reach for a vibe and have it ready to go it great, but if you don’t use them frequently enough, they might die. Plus, when a rechargeable vibe does, you have to give it time to charge. you can’t just pop in new batteries.

Most of those things are fairly insignificant, and I’d be willing to overlook them if the vibrator gets me off and feels fantastic, but I just never know what to expect. This was the case with the Le Reve Rechargeable. It’s cute, but would it be strong? The answer to that question is ‘No.” Sad.

Let’s get this out of the way: this toy has the very sort of vibrations that I do not like. No, it’s not even an issue of liking it. They just don’t work for me. I need something more than weak and buzzy, but that’s all that this one offers. It’s a shame because I feel as though Pipedream is marketing this line as higher quality than other products. Fortunately, you can find it on Amazon for less than $30. So if you happened upon this vibe there, you wouldn’t feel quite so disappointed if it didn’t work for you.

The one thing that I noticed about this almost immediately was how similar it looks to this little mouse-shaped laser cat toy I have. The vibrator is the bigger toy — heh heh — but it’s got a similar shape.

IMAG0680-1

Just add a little mouse face and, bam!, same thing.. sorta. This shouldn’t bother me, but it kinda does. The shape tapers, so it’s all about pinpoint stimulation. If that’s not for you, and it’s not my cup of tea, then this toy isn’t for you.

It does curve to fit in the palm of you hand or against your mons, but the curve doesn’t quite fit with my pubic bone. This might not be your issue, however. Nevertheless, the buttons aren’t positioned so that you can simply hold the Le Reve Rechargeable in your palm. They’re at the rounded end, which means you couldn’t just turn it around if you wanted a broad contact area.

Although the toy is small, the vibrations really are focused at the end, however. It’s weird how quickly they taper out. This may be due to the hard, plastic body of the toy. It’s glossy and slick. You won’t need much, if any, lube with the Le Reve Rechargeable. However, if you like drag ,you might be better off with a silicone clit stim like Siri. There is a ridge that I can feel going around the toy; although, it’s not seriously protruding.

The buttons consist of two, a plus and minus. They’re silicone and easy to find, even in the dark. I appreciate this. A similar soft silicone covers the charging port, which is on the port near the butt of the toy. You can see it just a bit in my photo above. This makes the toy waterproof, but I wouldn’t submerge it. According to the product page, you only need to charge for an hour, which is a plus. I’ve charged it once, but I’ve used it far less than that, so I can’t tell you — yet — how long the charge will last.

Operation is super simple, and while some places this list as “ten function,” I think there’s actually more vibration levels than that. However, they’re all quite buzzy and quite close together. I can find more difference between the sound output than the vibration output. Le Reve Rechargeable isn’t the loudest toy I’ve ever owned, and you should be good if you close a door and turn on a fan, but I find it to be a little loud for its strength.

My advice? Skip this one if you need power.

4 Comments


Gyrating Sensations Gyrating Hummer

March 8th, 2013

I’ve come down with an awful cold, so this one’s going to be a quick one.

The gyrating hummer is not the type of vibe I’d pick for myself. You see, it’s weird shaped. I mean, I’m not into spoon/scoop shaped toys, and I don’t get the point of the little pokey dimple on the back. Whenever I look at this toy from the side, all I can imagine is a Shyguy — and not in the good way! Plus, for a toy that I wouldn’t want to insert, it just seems a little long for external use. It seems reasonable that CEN could save some time and materials by making this vibrator a little shorter. It doesn’t need to be longer than six inches. Then again, I just don’t get this whole “clit huggers” thing. Can someone please fill me in? Or not. I don’t really care. At least it doesn’t use AAA batteries.

So here’s some things that work in this toy’s favor:

  • It’s available in bright freakin’ green
  • The 2 AAs provide some surprisingly deep vibrations
  • It’s easy to use
  • The plastic cote is silky smooth and feels good to the touch
  • It has multiple modes
  • The pulsations are impressive
  • It’s water resistant with an O-ring around the battery pack

Really, I expected this to be a buzzy little thing, but the vibrations are impressively deep. They’re not the strongest ever, but I was taken aback. It makes me wish that I liked the shape better, but I just don’t. I don’t want to cup or surround my clit. I want firm pressure, which this toy just cannot provide.

But there’s plenty of things that suck about this toy:

  • The shape is just plain weird
  • You have to press the button for several loonnng seconds before it turns off
  • It rattles and is louder than I’d like
  • It uses one of those quarter-turn battery cap styles, which is a bitch to screw on
  • The silver band looks cheap
  • The vibrations could be stronger

Ultimately, however, it’s cheap. That’s what we gotta focus on. For less than $20, you really could do worse. If the shape somehow works for you, then go for it. I need something else, but I think I could have liked aspects of this toy if I hadn’t already tried hundreds.

2 Comments


Luxe Euphoria

January 29th, 2013

In the past, I haven’t loved other Luxe toys I’ve tried. I think they’re all super cute, but they also only run on 2AAAs. That pretty much sums up my experience with the Luxe Euphoria.

And when I try to describe what this thing looks like, I just want to say:

If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and sounds like a duck.. it’s a vibrator?

I mean, it’s really got a face. California Exotics is taking a cue from the Japanese, I guess. There’s head and a little bill with which you can stimulate yourself. Maybe it’s a platypus. Then, it straightens out for you to hold it. It’s cute. I wouldn’t have picked out this shape, but something about it makes me smile despite myself. Like, maybe I want to do shadow puppets with it.

Sadly, I don’t really want to masturbate it because it’s just too weak for me. Yea, we all saw that coming. Two tiny batteries, and it barely feels like it’s turned on. Oddly enough, mine came with one of the tester batteries. I’m sure people will freak out about the toys being used, but they all get tested before sent out. Oh well, free battery?

I wish it was stronger, though, because that duck face could actually work. I can sort of curve my finger over the top of the head toward the bill, which gives me leverage for a little pressure. The bill offers pinpoint stimulation, which isn’t my favorite, but the silicone is firm with a little give. However, this means that my palm is over the controls. I have a hard time with buttons because I have to use my fingers for pressure and I want the buttons to be accessible but not exactly where I’m going to hold the toy down– I’m talking to you, Lelo.

CEN has gone with the two-button style: a master power button and another button that cycles through all the settings. It’s annoying when there’s many settings, but the Luxe Euphoria has only seven:

  • low
  • medium
  • high
  • escalation
  • past pulsation
  • faster pulsing
  • short then fast pulsation

The batteries are woefully inadequate, and while there’s a red LED below the buttons, it seems like mine might be defective. It doesn’t shine under both, only sort of in the middle. If this is the design, it really doesn’t help to illuminate the buttons.

California Exotics has done something new with the battery cap, as far as I recall, and I hate it. Instead of being able to screw it off, you have one of those little covers with the springy part like your remote control. It’s on the “tail” of the duck and almost so flush that you can’t find it. I actually like that it’s so seamless, but it makes it difficult to find, and the springy part you need to push to open it. The cover pops straight up, and I have a hard time getting it back on. I think I’m using to things that angle into place. It’s just different, I suppose.

The seamlessness probably lends to the waterproofiness of this toy. There’s not a single O-ring. Rather, the entire battery connection part on the cap is surrounded by a layer or silicone or TPR. It seems pretty secure, to be honest. I wouldn’t use this toy in the shower — you wouldn’t feel it with the water — but it’s easy to clean.

I do love the texture of this. Both the silicone and plastic have a velvety treatment. While the plastic is rigid, it has the same texture as the silicone. This, I like. There’s a silver “collar” that’s made of plastic and runs around the duck’s neck. This is definitely the weak point of the design. Not only can I see seams, but I can see the glue. Eeps!

This toy isn’t something I’d pay $30 for, especially knowing what I need, but CEN has made some good strides with this, even if it’s the odd duck out.
CEN Sexpert

5 Comments


Body and Soul Connection Vibrator

August 18th, 2012

This is an archived review of a discontinued item.

This vibe either looks like the eyeball guy from Aah! Real Monsters or a laser robot from the video game Portal. The latter is exactly why I requested to review it, even though another model in the line up looks slightly more turret-like. Unfortunately, all the reasons that would have caused me to pass up this sex toy are exactly the reasons I should have.

It took me less than thirty seconds to realize this, honestly. The vibrations, powered by 2AAA batteries are super buzzy. Although it’s easy enough to switch through them with the single button, there’s not much difference between any of the settings, except for the horrible whine that I could hear over music that I was listening to at the moment. This was common in Lelo’s old toys, but it bugs me whether a toy costs less than $50 or more than $100.

The vibrations are so buzzy that I wouldn’t be surprised if someone told me this was powered by watch batteries. In fact, my body simply stopped being able to feel the vibrations after a few seconds. I kid you not. While the rabbit-ear-like attachments are flexible and rounded in a way that surrounds the clitoris nicely, but the depth of the vibrations is simply too high-pitched to to anything. Honestly, I think I might have liked this a bit more, if the vibrations had been deeper. I’m not surprised that they weren’t. Some folks would suggest that this is “Great for newbies”, but I just can’t see how this vibe is all that good for anyone. Does a person exist who is really, honestly that sensitive?!

Still, while I don’t normally like fluttering rabbit ears, the arms on this guy are a little less flexible. They don’t flop back and forth, and they’re wider, so they really hug my clit in a way that could be effective. I usually like pressure, though, and this design really doesn’t offer that. However, I do like that the single push-button works well when you turn the toy around. There’s technically two ways you can hold this flat against your body/around your clit, and this lets you find the best position for the button.

Connection's annoying battery packThis toy is kind of like the less awesome version of the Form 2, which I already didn’t like and have recently swapped away. The plastic base is round, and this toy is bigger so it’s easier for me to hold. However, you have to twist the bottom directly off from the top to insert the (useless) batteries. The whole thing is awkward, and it uses that quarter-twist style that I always have trouble lining up. Plus, the batteries sit in there vertically, without much support. They fall out pretty easily. Obnoxious, dudes.

At least Jimmyjane got the quality down. The Connection has soft silicone up top and shiny plastic on the bottom, and it’s not seamless in the least. In fact, there’s a visible line between the two portions of the toy, and it looks like a gout line full of gunk. Upon closer inspection, it’s not filled with gunk–thank God!–it’s just that the cut of the plastic is super sloppy. This toy feels low-quality now matter how you cut it.

Given the vibrations and the poor quality, I’m surprised by the MSRP. Luckily, sellers on Amazon offer this for less than half. I don’t know if I’d even spend $25 on this, but that’s a smaller hit to your wallet, if you’re convinced this will work for you.

Am I surprised though? Eh, not really. I almost always need something that uses AAs. The shape here does have some redeeming qualities, but it can’t overshadow all the things that bother me about the Body & Soul Connection.

CEN Sexpert

7 Comments