BSoft Burgundy

September 23rd, 2011

bsoft in Burgundy and Pink

bsoft in Burgundy and Pink
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

To say that I like the new Bsoft rather than the original would be a drastic understatement, I think. Yet, I’m not entirely sure why I like it so much better.

Perhaps it is because the exterior is now coated in a super silky silicone that feels a little less.. clinical than the hard, smooth plastic of the first go-round. It’s definitely friendlier, somehow. It also seems to decrease the feeling that this is a hollow piece of crap. The super light and hollow feeling of the original was a let-down. Now, a sex toy doesn’t need to be heavy to work well but it just cheapened the feel.

While the shapes are definitely related, there are some definite improvements. The ridge on the bottom of the new Bsoft is more pronounced and runs the entire length of the bottom of the toy, rather than flattening out toward the end. In use, I find this makes it much easier to apply pressure the way I like; however, the tapered bottom still fits well between labia.

The old model had three buttons and this uses the bubbly buttons like on the BCurious. I like the buttons. They’re easy to find, are surrounded by an LED light and made an audible clicking noise when pushed. Great feedback there. Of course, one button servers as a master on/off while the other pages through settings so it’s not as intuitive as it could be but, hey, at least you can turn it off quickly.

The vibration settings on this one include three steady modes and four varieties of pulsation. One’s really quick, and the other is one of those buzz-buzz-buzzzz types but they’re kind of forgettable, in my opinion. I believe I wound up using the highest constant vibration setting and, let it be known, that this setting isn’t that high. For example, I’m still more impressed by the vibration of BSwish’s original bullet and, like many toys, the new Bsoft has moderately shallow vibrations that only get more shallow as you turn it up. Still, they don’t feel as shallow and empty as the original.

I think it has to do with the way the silicone transmits them and all that the new Bsoft uses its real estate better. What I mean by that is it’s not as big and hulking as the original (Kayla has some comparison pics here). Although they both seem to be the same length (I no longer have my original to verify), the second edition is just so much more compact. There’s not as much surface space to disperse and dilute the vibrations. Even though they’re clearly focused at the tip, away from the button, you can still feel them on the other end. It’s also much easier to wield. The bottom line, for me, is that the new Bsoft can get me off. Sure, not without some work, but its leaps and bounds better than the original.

For the strength of this toy, I do find the noise level to be a little high. Not wake-the-dead high but hmm-that’s-a-little-loud high.

I also like the design better. You can get it in a burgundy, like mine, or a dark blue with burgundy details. One improvement over the design is the location of the USB port. It used to be on the end of the toy with an oddly angled cover that rarely stayed in place. It’s been moved to the side of the vibrator with a flat port cover that lies flush with the toy. It sits in place much better and makes cleaning so much more easy!

While this sophomore attempt is a definite improvement, and I like it far more than the BCurious as well, it’s not the toy I’m going to reach for by default. Still, it’s also not one of those toys that I’ll never reach for again. How’s that for middle ground?

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Form 2

June 7th, 2011

Form 2
N/A from

Jimmyjane has since introduced the Form 2 Pro if you like to gamble.

Remember how whiny I was a while back about how I’d never tried a Jimmyjane vibrator? Yea, it wasn’t pleasant. Luckily, I have now had the opportunity. My experience has been a bit.. atypical, I think, so I have some interesting insights to share with you, dear reader.

Now, in case you forgot, the Form 2 is a rabbit-shaped vibrator, but it’s just the head with two ears that have separate motors. The ears, one would probably guess, are ideal for surrounding the clit or nipples or for passing on either side of the labia or.. an ear? Point is, while most people are going to head south with the Form 2, it does offer some versatility.. which is probably good because I really just don’t like it for clitoral stimulation. I tend to use toys in the general area of my clit, pressed to my pubic bone. It’s about pressure and indirect stimulation for me but it doesn’t get more direct than the Form 2–and it’s on both sides. AAAH! This totally negates the fact that the vibrations are shallow and buzzy, although concentrated.

My personal quirks aside, this just may be better suited to those of you who like direct stimulation from multiple angles. If you’re the type who can lay a vibe against your clit and eventually get off, more or less without any effort, maybe the Form 2 is for you. Unfortunately, I’m not you. My other personal complaint is that the ridiculous buzzyness of this vibrator quickly “numbs” me. Now, I don’t mean numb in the “woe is me, I used a vibrator and I’ll never get off from sex again” type way, so if you’re the anti-woman/masturbation/pleasure/intelligence type who believes that, STFU. No, I mean, that the vibrations are so shallow that my body literally cannot feel them after a while so I turn it up and up and up and eventually I’ve just spent half an hour with a toy that has absolutely not chance of getting me off and what am I doing?

I’m getting to know the toy for review, I guess. At least it’s easy to use. There’s a plus and minus button for controlling the vibration and another button with a squiggly line for moving between the different modes. Jimmyjane has included vibration and pulsation and describes them with an interesting infographic yet, because the buzzyness isn’t a good foundation for effective pulsation.

So I was all set to write this review and say, you know, this is an interesting toy and it seems made well enough, even if it didn’t produce the type of vibrations that I like.. When it turned itself on, vibrated itself right out of its charging base, fell on my bathroom floor and broke. Scared the crap out of my cats, too.

On the bright side, Jimmyjane was super quick about responding to my issue and sent me a replacement Form 2 STAT! I just returned the broken one via prepaid shipping today. I’m not having any issues with the new one. I’m a little hesitant to keep it in its charging base, should the same thing occur with my replacement, and also because the cats like to nom silicone, which happened with the Amor, too. Otherwise, I like the charging base. It’s convenient and the design uses a variety of flashing and steady lights to indicate charging and battery status. With the Form 2, you know exactly how much of a charge is left when you lift it from the base. That’s handy.

Because it uses a charging system with contact points–there’s a metal “disc” on the bottom of the toy that contacts the base–it’s waterproof. This makes cleaning super easy and you could take your Form 2 in the shower. That’s not generally my preference, as the water tends to make vibrations seem subdued.

Other points of note include:

  • Form 2 is fairly quiet. Not as quiet as Siri but acceptable enough.
  • The manufacturing seems pretty high quality. The toy feels solid, it’s pretty seamless.
  • The silicone collects dust and smudges like crazy. Arg.
  • A lot of people have complained about some sort of feature/glitch. I haven’t run into it because I don’t spend a lot of time with toys that aren’t going to get me off.
  • Although I’m hoping my specific issues were self-contained, it seemed like Jimmyjane vibrators–especially those in the Form lineup–just tend to be glitchy as all get out.

I guess we’ll have to see how I feel about Form 2 in the future.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

March 7th, 2011

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie

Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I have a soft spot for the duckie vibrators. Time and again, they have proved to be not quite as functional as they are novel, but I keep requesting them, anyway.

Thus, I am now the owner of an adorable Sweetheart I Rub My Duckie. Like the Santa duckie I already possessed, this one is travel-sized and comes in a plastic heart. The duckie sits on a stand against a pink background, and she looks super glamorous through the clear plastic in front. A bow attaches to loops at the top of the plastic, but you can pop the duckie out by removing the tape along the side.

The duckie has fashionable accessories: a feather boa that I think my cats have already stolen (removable because who wants to get it all yucky during play?). She is pristine in white/light cream with light teal eyes that are definitely feminine. She’s sort of like a monochrome version of the Paris Duckie, which I also own. There’s a tiny rhinestone jewel on her bill that adds to the feminine allure.

This particular duckie was stubborn when it came time to insert batteries, though. The cover is a piece of plastic (the entire thing is molded plastic, actually) that you push into place and turn to lock (the reverse opens it). A screw driver is handy (or fingernails of steel) but the hard plastic on mine seems to be slightly misshapen, making the entire process a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, all my hard work was for naught because my duckie didn’t work anyway. )= When I insert the battery (a single AAA), replace the battery cover and turn the dial from Off to On, nothing happens. Nada. At all.

Luckily for me, I enjoy the duckies for their aesthetic appeal and I already own a similar model so I am familiar with their vibration strength and operation. The small size means you’ll probably rely on the tail or sides, the broadest part, for pressure but the face and beak offer some pinpoint stimulation (all external, I don’t even know how you’d go about inserting this!). All the engraved text on the bottom makes me hesitant to use. I would really not have to clean off lubes and liquids from the tiny cracks and crevices.

Although the knob would indicate that the vibrations are adjustable, this is actually a one-speed toy. Considering how difficult it can be to turn the little knob, you’d think they would go with a push button control (or belly squeeze, as with the larger duckies). I was able to get off when I used the Sweetheart Duckie’s Santa cousin, but it’s not the type of toy I default to. The vibrations, as I recall, as relatively strong for the size but I’ll take a AA-powered toy over this, any day. In addition to this, the duckies do not tend to be all that quiet, so close your door, put on some music, and run the bath in the background, just to be careful.

To add to my disappointment, the Sweetheart Duckie does not float upright in water. Rather, she flops right over onto her side or back. After testing this out, I was further disappointed to find that water had found its way into the battery compartment. Even if the duckie had worked, I wouldn’t expect it to work for long, after several uses in the water or cleanings. But I’m not surprised because all of my duckies really did have a cheap feel to them when it comes to quality of craftsmanship.

tl,dr; The Sweetheart Duckie is cute, especially in her packaging, but maybe she should stay there because quality of these products is really hit and miss and you can find a decent toy for a comparable price without all the noise.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Lelo Alia

January 4th, 2011

Lelo Alia

Lelo Alia
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy. You might try the most recent Ora, instead.

Insignia is the newest line by Lelo, the luxury sex toy company that has pumped out more new items this past year than I have fingers. I have been lucky enough to try several items, including the egg-shaped Alia. I was drawn to the Alia because it’s similar to a regular egg vibrator, but I have difficulty holding those, and I hoped that the hole in the center of the vibrator would ease the stress on my fingers.

Alia is like an egg with slightly flattened sides and a smaller egg shape cut out of the middle. It is slightly larger than your typical egg vibrator at approximately 2.5” long and 1.5” wide. While the outsides of this vibrator are coated in a firm silicone, the inside is lined with plastic painted to look metallic. It has a slight golden sheen, and if you found it difficult to tell whether it was gold or silver in images, it’s pretty much as difficult to tell in person. Unlike some other Lelo’s toys, the silicone is not as firm as I expected. There’s just a tiny bit of give, similar to the Estomed of the Layaspot. The velvety finish also adds to the feeling of softness.

It seems Lelo has been experimenting with packaging this year. Alia comes in a box that contains a foam shape to hold the vibrator and the included brooch while the other side has a liftable cardboard flap that houses the storage/travel pouch and booklets. I have found that the booklets like to slide to the other side, under the foam, and you need to insert your fingers into the foam holes to move the paper back into place in order to access it.

So, the brooch is a small metal pin that is in the shape of what I understand to be the logo for the Insignia line. Imagine an infinity symbol with an extra loop. I’m not really a fan of pins but it’s elegant looking and could spice up an outfit or you could put it on a canvas bag.

Lelo has strayed from their trademark controls with the Insignia toys and the controls actually match the brooch. The logo is engraved into the silicone while the buttons are embossed onto it. There is a + button on one side to turn on and up the vibrator while a – button exists on the other side to do the opposite. The button in the middle looks a bit like this () and allows the user to switch between modes. Those modes include various pulsation and escalation settings. There are around 8 but it’s hard to tell because that middle button needs a lot of pressure in order for the vibrator to respond. Sadly, Lelo has returned to the buzzier type vibrations with Alia. Siri is significantly deeper in terms of vibration. However, Alia is still much more powerful than Lily.

In use, I didn’t find the shape to help at all. In fact, it may have even made this egg-shaped toy more difficult to use. Depending on your finger size, you can fit 2 or 3 through the hole. Nevertheless, I just couldn’t find a comfortable and useful position that made use of the hole and offered the pressure I like. If you simply like to hold vibrators against you, then this may not be an issue.

Lelo has continued to provide the ability to lock your vibrators when not in use by simultaneously pressing – and +. I still say this isn’t as useful and being able to lock it during use but it’s handy for travel. Charging automatically unlocks an Insignia toy, which is important to remember. The manual states that it requires two hours to fully charge; although, mine was already charged. The LED light on the toy will remain white when the battery is full but will pulse as it dies. Users can expect up to four hours of usage from Alia but I have yet to reach that point. I also believe it uses the same adapter as Ina, Mona and Siri. AWESOME!

Now, I have to mention something odd. This toy is supposed to be completely waterproof. My understanding is that the silicone is supposed to stretch to accommodate the adapter when charging but “shrink” to cover the hole when not charging. My hole is completely open all.the.time. (Man, that sounds kinda naughty, doesn’t it?) I would absolutely NOT trust this in water if I didn’t know it was supposed to be fully waterproof. However, I gave it a thorough and fully submerged washing and it came out just fine. I wonder if the silicone port covers that Lelo previously used are a thing of the past.

Another change that Lelo has implemented with this product is the storage bag. It is now double-layered satin, black on the outside and white on the inside. I don’t think it looks as nice as plain black, but it offers slightly more cushion.

The bottom line for me is that Alia really isn’t an improvement over traditional egg vibrators in terms of strength, size or comfort. I would much rather use my $35 BNaughty, which has survived multiple trips to the shower and rough cleanings.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Lelo Siri

September 15th, 2010

Lelo Siri

Lelo Siri
N/A from

Lelo has since released the Siri 2.

Ah, the Lelo Siri. How I drooled over this little clitoral vibrator. How I e-mailed all my company contacts and practically begged to review it. How ecstatic I was when someone finally said “Yes, we can send one your way!” How I waited impatiently as it was on the way to my house. I opened the box and the package and was disappointed that it did not come charged. I charged it immediately.

This is not the norm for me, far from it. Sometimes, my excitement wanes so quickly while a toy is in transit that I don’t use it for weeks after I receive it. I used Siri the very first day I had it, as soon as it was charged in fact. Sometimes I use a toy once and then try to forget about it because I am disappointed. I have spent more time with Siri than that.

I very quickly developed some thoughts about Lelo’s newest.

The good:

  • Siri comes in pink, purple and the red I chose. It’s the same as Mona and I am in love with the shade.
  • The velvety silicone is offset by shiny, white plastic (again, like Mona or Ina), which makes for an attractive piece.
  • Siri is rechargeable, like all of Lelo’s buzzy things.
  • Siri’s vibrations are much deeper (rumbly) than those of Lelo’s previous clitoral stimulators (Lily/Nea/Mia). They’re comparable to Mona or Ina in Depth.
  • Siri is easy to use, with the same 4-button setup as other Lelo toys. Siri also features the ability to lock the toy when not in use (but not during use).
  • Siri offers three levels of continuous vibrations and multiple pulsation and escalation settings.
  • The buttons are more accessible, on the top of the toy, as opposed to the bottom where they were on the Lily.
  • Siri isn’t as flat as Lily. I find the rounder and broader shape to be a little more appropriate for what I like (pressure).

The bad:

  • Siri’s buttons might be too accessible. Although larger than the Lily/Nea, Siri is still pretty small, and there’s not a lot of room to place my fingers on top of the toy. Inevitably, I wind up pressing buses because I cannot lock the toy and changing the speed of mode when I do not intend to.
  • Siri still isn’t that strong. Because of my personal tastes, the rumbly vibes make up for this somewhat, but those who need strong and rumbly vibes or strong vibes, regardless of the frequency, will still be disappointed with Siri.
  • Siri has no cover for the charging port. I mean, WTF?! This is standard on most Lelo toys, including Mona and Ina so I’m not sure what happened with this. Does Lelo think it’s less likely this external toy will need a deep clean in the sink? Isn’t that a little presumptuous?

The technical:

  • Siri comes in a black Lelo box and is packaged in a cardboard and plastic package. It rests on top of a cardboard insert to make it look pretty.
  • Lelo includes a 10-year Quality Guarantee, a 1-year warranty, and an instruction manual in the box. There’s also a small white satin pouch for storing Siri.
  • Siri can be cleaned with soap and water if you are careful of the charging port; it is not waterproof.
  • When Siri needs charging, the LED light glows red. During charging, it pulses white and remains solidly lit after charging, which takes about 2 hours.
  • Holding the + and – button locks Siri. If it is on, it will turn off.

What does this mean, you ask?

I found Siri to be more effective than Lily. I have used it several times to achieve one or more orgasms per session on the initial charge, which took fewer than 2 hours. I find the shape to be better for stimulating my clit, but I am frequently annoyed by the placement of the buttons. I would definitely prefer the ability to lock the toy during use. Thus far, I’ve had no issues cleaning the Siri, but I’ve made an effort not to drown out the thing. While I wouldn’t mind if the vibrations were stronger, and I am sure others would agree, the rumblyness makes them quite pleasurable.

Siri is definitely an improvement over previous clitoral offerings from Lelo.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Solar Bullet

July 3rd, 2010

Solar Bullet

Solar Bullet
$25.91S from Amazon

The Solar Bullet from California Exotics is something that several sites offered up for review–and I passed over–before I knew I was going to be reviewing it for the manufacturer. You see, I’m not a huge fan of bullet vibes to begin with (I already have one that I like just fine) and the concept seemed more novel than practical for me. But it did show up at my door, and try it out, I did.

The Solar Bullet was actually charged, which is neat. There’s a little blue light on the control pack/charger that indicates this status. I believe it needs 8 hours to fully charge and it doesn’t need OMG sunlight. I set it on my printer to charge, without ever opening my blinds. You can use other light sources, too.

So the charger is a mostly, flat solar cell type thingy in plastic. There’s a sliding button to control vibrations. The button’s a little retro, in my opinion, but it functions just fine. The pack itself is much bigger than the battery packs I’ve used for other bullets and it’s bigger than my cell phone as well. It doesn’t quite fit nimbly in the palm of a person’s hand but I understand it has to be that size for this concept to work at all.

Well, sort of.

You see, the solar bullet isn’t any more powerful than those wireless bullets that rely on watch batteries and they don’t have any bulky attachments. The vibrations are extremely high pitched so while there’s an initial tingle, my body becomes unable to feel them at all within a minute. That just doesn’t cut it for me.

I’m not a huge fan of the design, either. The Solar Bullet is very narrow hard plastic shape, even moreso than any of the watch-battery bullets I’ve had with other toys, if I recall correctly. It would probably fit into some of those cock rings that take replaceable bullets, if you have a need. Other than that, I like my surfaces to be broader and flatter and.. more usable. For some unknown reason, there is a tiny light at the tip of the solar bullet. I don’t know if it’s plastic or glass but I have this secret fear of breaking the clear casing and slicing through my clit. Yea, no… Not a good visual. Even if it didn’t make me fearful, I just don’t understand the point. Don’t lotsa people like to use the very tip of the toy? This pretty much means you cannot do that.

Needless to say, I really didn’t spend enough time with the Solar Bullet to run it dry. I really like the idea but it just doesn’t work for me in the real world. Unless you’re into collecting novel toys, skip this one.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Ultimate Satisfier

June 24th, 2010

Ultimate Satisfier - Magenta

Ultimate Satisfier - Magenta
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I continue my quest for the perfect dual stimulator, and a toy with the word “Ultimate” in its name ought to be pretty close, don’t you think? The Ultimate Satisfier adds a handle to the mix, something that many other vibrators lack. There is an extremely similar toy by PHS International with the exact same clitoral stimulator and handle. However, the insertable portion is a copy of the shaft of the Fun Factory Curve. I enjoyed the Curve and wasn’t so sure the ridges on the Ultimate Satisfier would be as pleasurable because of my recent experience with some ridges.

I’ve reviewed many similar sex toys so I thought I’d sum it up a little quicker than usual.

The Pros:

  • This toy is probably the best fit I’ve found for my anatomy, yet. The curve between the internal and external portions nearly hugs my pubic bone. It’s almost perfectly curved/angled.
  • The clitoral stimulator is 1.5″ in length, long enough to actually reach my clit.
  • The ridges on the shaft give the impression of some girth while the diameter is only 1.19″.
  • It’s made of hygienic, non-porous silicone (I flame tested), and the insertable portion is firm enough for consistent G-spot stimulation and possibly some thrusting.
  • The handle is more maneuverable than it appears.
  • The push-button, super-long bullet vibrator has multiple speeds and relies on a standard AAA battery rather than watch batteries. You can actually feel the difference between the levels, too.
  • The toy is waterproof, and the bullet has a prominent O-ring next to the battery cap.
  • It costs less than $25.

But there are a few cons, too:

  • I couldn’t necessarily feel the ridges on the insertable portion.
  • The clitoral stimulator is thinner and more flexible to give me the pressure I like.
  • The handle, while useful for G-spot stimulation, didn’t work quite so well for clitoral stimulation.
  • The vibrations are hard to feel externally because 1 AAA battery just does not provide a lot of power. The vibrations are also quite buzzy, rather than deep.
  • The shaft does not have much of a curve, so I imagine it just won’t reach all G-spots.
  • Because the long bullet extends into the internal shaft, you can’t bend it to reach any particular spot. This was actually a little uncomfortable/painful on some occasions.
  • The silicone is the shiny/sticky sort. Water-based lube is probably a must for many people.
  • There is a visible and tangible-to-the-finger seam that runs around the entire toy.

Everything else:

Because this vibrator “fits” so well, it has the potential to be a hands-free toy. Of course, your range of motion and use will be limited with the handle sticking out. It’s versatile enough to use for vaginal/perineum stimulation and can be inserted anally as well because the shape will prevent it from getting lost.

While the Ultimate Satisfier is really close to what I need, it’s not quite the ultimate toy to satisfy me. The composition of silicone is kind of.. strange. I don’t think I’ve used any other toy with this shiny and dense silicone. It doesn’t feel as nice as velvety silicone that I’m used to.

It worked well enough internally, but the clitoral stimulator just didn’t have enough pressure for it to be a true dual stimulator. I already own several toys that are just as, if not more, successful at making me squirt, but that doesn’t mean the Ultimate Satisfier won’t work well for someone who has a more sensitive clit.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.