Hide Your Vibe Pillow: Black

January 9th, 2011

Hide Your Vibe Pillow: Black

Hide Your Vibe Pillow: Black

The Hide Your Vibe Pillow is no longer available.

I have long known of the Hide Your Vibe pillow as a sex toy storage solution but it was never one of those things that was on the top of my list. As I continue to explore things that are not exactly sex toys, I decided that, if nothing else, a throw pillow couldn’t hurt but if I really enjoyed the pillow, that would be great, too.

I don’t have much to say about this product–for better or worse. The square pillow measures 13″ and the exterior feels like a combination of fleece and microfiber, making it lightly fuzzy. As the product description says, the cover is machine washable and you can easily remove it by unzipping one of the edges. The sewing is superb and the zipper is hidden. The only part that is visible is the tab that you pull to unzip it.

Unzipping reveals that the inner pillow is actually one that is just shorter than 13″ but long. It’s folded in half and one edge is sewn together to create a round shape that is open in the middle. Upon discovering this, I sort of thought “This is it? Why aren’t more sex toy perverts making their own pillow? It would be pretty easy to replicate.” And it would so I cannot wholly recommend this product at its current price. If you have any sort of skill at sewing, you could make your own. Even buying a standard throw pillow cover and a long pillow and just folding it in half would produce a workable solution.

The pillow is fashioned with a soft cotton that isn’t likely to leave lint so you could easily put something in there and use it immediately. You could also slip a toy in the pillow in its own bag or even a plastic bag. However, that will make noise should someone lean on the pillow. In fact, while this pillow looks like your normal throw pillow and you can use it as such (it’s not quite as stiff as some but still functional), you may not want to keep it within reach.

In terms of size, you won’t fit a rabbit vibrator in the Hide Your Vibe Pillow but you can ft small clitoral vibrators, slimline vibes, eggs/bullets, a set of cuffs or even an anal plug. The smaller the item, the less likely that someone will notice it. Of course, you will want to remove the batteries or lock any vibrators to prevent them from turning on at inopportune moments. In addition to this, I would only store clean and dry toys in this pillow.

Of course, if you really want to have your toys within reach, this can be a useful tool. You could easily reach into the pillow and remove a toy to surprise your partner. There’s really more uses for the pillow, however. You could hide your remotes and a book to keep your home clutter-free. Anything small enough to fit into the pillow can be hidden from sight.

Form and function aside, I still cannot believe how high the markup is on this item and that keeps me from recommending this product to everyone.

1 Comment

Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator

August 12th, 2010

Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator

Throbbing hearts waterproof Vibrator
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

I like throbbing things, especially throbbing body parts. Like a cock as it ejaculates inside of me or the spasms of my PC muscles during orgasm. Yet, throbbing is one of the few sensations that companies haven’t mastered. Throbbing toys have not saturated the market, so this vibrator really caught my eye.

Out of the box, the Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator is interesting. I noticed that the TPE seemed to be quite loose around the shaft mechanism. I mean, it’s not flopping around, but you can pinch some of the material away from the shaft, like looser skin. The movement kind of gives the feel of softness–when not in use.

The Throbbing Hearts waterproof Vibrator has a straight, smooth shaft. The mechanism beneath the TPE gives the impression of ripples, however. The head of the toy is realistically shaped like the head of a cock. Oddly enough, the clitoral stimulator also has a penis head shape which is kind of creepy. It’s like the whole clitoral simulator is some sort of stunted penis. And then, there are two embossed heart designs toward the base o the toy and on the back of the clit stim. I have no idea what the theme is here but Doc Johnson missed the mark.

Still, I wanted this for its sensations, not the look. It’s not the tiniest toy, though. With a base diameter of 1.59″, it’s a medium-large size. You can use water or silicone-based lube with this toy. The design results in a maximum insertable length of 5.5″, which is pretty effective for the average size of vaginas. The clitoral stimulator is also quite long, extending almost 3″ from the shaft.

There are two buttons for each function (throbbing and clit vibration). The design deviates from the standard and isn’t visually appealing. Essentially, the throbbing function has a + and – buttons that also serve to turn the function on and off, respectively. These buttons are square and are labeled as “On” and “Off” which is confusing to me. The vibration function has a master On/Off button and a separate button to control the speed/mode. These buttons are round and oval, respectively. I don’t know why both functions don’t have comparable +/- button or a power and mode button–or a different setup altogether to provide a master “Off” button for the entire toy. I don’t know why there are different shapes. It’s very anti-intuitive, in my opinion.

So I insert the toy and turn it on. First, I try the throbbing because this is really the appeal and, boy, is it weird. The throbbing is actually expanding and contracting, which required the loose TPE that I noticed originally. It does this in a very quick succession, even on the lowest speed and, when the toy isn’t inserted, it makes a noise similar to skin slapping skin during sex. On the toy, it’s almost disgusting.

Sound aside, I just did not find the sensation wasn’t much like throbbing itself. Throbbing typically has vertical movement, too. It feels deep, rumbly. This toy does not. It just feels like something is growing larger and smaller, and all the speeds are too close together for there to be much build-up. This is not a sensation that stimulates my G-spot at all. And because rabbits are not intended to be thrusted (usually), this isn’t very versatile. Additionally, I find that the shaft mechanism feels really hard and solid. I prefer my insertables to be either hard or large–not both.

Externally, I was not impressed. The clit stimulator, while plenty long enough, offers little pressure. The vibrations are incredibly buzzy. I can barely tell the difference between the medium and high steady vibrations. The pulsation lacks any sort of oomph. The functions, when combined, really seem to work against one another. They don’t complement each other at all. I’m not surprised that I was unimpressed by the vibrations, however. This uses AAAs.

The toy takes 4AAAs altogether. They fit into a battery compartment that has an easy load-style pack, and the cap screws on over an O-ring, thus making this waterproof. Honestly, I’d think that the sensation of water falling on you in the shower would compete with the sensations that this toy provides, and I don’t advise it.

I am more than a bit disappointed with this toy. I really like the idea of a throbbing toy, but I think it needs to feel different from the violent, in-and-out slapping of the mechanism of this toy. Plus, I’m curious how easy it might be to break this. I’m almost intrigued enough by the function to cut off the TPE and see what’s going on beneath it. Almost.

Still, I commend Doc Johnson for thinking outside the box and creating something a little different.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Eden Waterproof Body Blossom

June 9th, 2010

Eden Waterproof Body Blossom

Eden Waterproof Body Blossom
N/A from

This is an archived review of a discontinued toy.

Another dual stimulator? Yea! I love the idea. It’s why I’ve tried the Rock Chick, Mini G-rock, G-Ki, Gia, Adonis and Delight–not to mention a few non “c-shaped” toys. And I’ve got the Ultimate Satisfier waiting to be reviewed, too.

The Waterproof Body Blossom is part of a line of toys from Adam & Eve that promote their Eden movie. So I suppose the little flower clit stimulator makes sense, even if it’s a bit silly. The Body Blossom’s general shape is similar to the Rock Chick; the insertable portion is fairly straight with an angled head for G-spot stimulation. It’s more angled than round so both parts of the toy rest fairly close together in its natural state. However, the jelly in this toy is much more malleable than the Rock Chick’s silicone so there’s a greater range of movement. The Body Blossom also has 3 little wave-like ridges on the insertable shaft–to match the theme, I suppose.

The whole thing is translucent purple. I haven’t used a jelly toy in a while so I have to admit, I missed the look. There’s a matching purple micro bullet that slips into a snug hole near the clit flower. It’s a pretty generic bullet and operates with a single push button. You can easily replace it with any bullet that comes with silicone dildos (Tantus) and some corded bullets (you’ll probably get more power this way). The bullet takes three watch-style batteries, and Topco provides two sets to the consumer (one set comes in the bullet). Removing the bullet to swap out batteries requires a little finesse  finagling. I added some lube to the bullet before I slipped it back in, but it was still hard to remove again.

As you can expect, the vibrations are extremely buzzy, and while the bullet isn’t overly loud, the noise matches the feel. I was slightly disappointed at how the vibrations traveled throughout the toy. However, my G-spot seemed more sensitive to the vibrations than my hand, which is good. If you’re not as sensitive to vibrations, it might not do you any good.

That is, if the damned bullet works at all for you. From the get-go, the included bullet gave me problems. I tested it out, and the button didn’t seem to do what it was supposed to. I got it turned off–until my cat bumped it or my husband picked it up. Movement was setting this thing off at random times, and the button stopped responding at all. When it came time to use it, I dropped it on the dresser to turn it on and had to let the batteries drain completely before it would shut off. I inserted the second set to see if it was a battery issue but it still doesn’t work in a way I understand. Because of this, I’m not sure if this thing is maybe supposed to have multiple settings or if it just really sucks. Of course, like I said, it’s easy to replace, so even if I were a customer, I wouldn’t try to exchange it or anything.

The jelly of the Body Blossom is phthalate-free, so it doesn’t smell like a shower liner. It has that slightly chemical-ly scent that some TPR toys have, but it’s within reason, I think. It’s a little sticky and will pick up lint and add friction during play. You can use your choice of water or silicone-based lubes. I actually used Wet Synergy, a hybrid lube. Even though I went a little lube-crazy, the Body Blossom just didn’t blossom for my body. The wave ridges made it a bit difficult to maneuver, and I tend to like my G-spot toys with a little less angle to the head.

I also like external pressure a lot, but the flexibility of this toy didn’t provide that. The flower rested gently against my labia. It’s a problem I and others with fleshier vulvas run into with this style of toy; I experienced it with Rock Chick, too. I couldn’t really spread my labia to fix the issue, either. The angle of the toy meant that it kept trying to slip upward toward my mons instead of staying in place. This is pretty typical for this style toy. I can get either G-spot stimulation or clit stimulation but not both simultaneously.

I didn’t love either aspect of the Body Blossom enough that I’m really upset, however. I guess I need a shaft with less going on for consistent G-spot stimulation, and I don’t usually like my clitoral vibrators to have little fluttery bits. I would definitely recommend the Rock Chick or Delight over the Body Blossom, although they’re both a little more expensive. I think the Body Blossom is discontinued, anyway.

Find vibrators like this at one of the biggest selections of sex toys online at store.ofsexandlove.com

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

May 23rd, 2010

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

Pure Sex Pheromone Spray

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

My first experience with pheromones was at a sex toy party at the last base we lived at. The company rep basically told us that because pheromones are registered in the nose but aren’t actually smells, we will think there is a smell and as the pheromones mix with your individual chemical makeup, that “smell” we think is there will be different for every person. So we dabbed some pheromones on our wrists and I “smelled” quite nice, thank you very much. But I forgot about the concept for a couple of years cause it wasn’t like I was lacking sex.

The idea of a his-and-hers type pheromone spray was attractive, though, as was the packaging. Pipedream did well with the black box (with silver details) contrasting with the bright blue and pink liquid. Unless you’re not very fond of hetero-normative implications, which the blue/pink dichotomy certainly suggests. Sorry. In the event that you didn’t notice the bright colours, the blue bottle has the “male” symbol and the pink has the “female” symbol.

So this narrow box houses a double-ended tube, like some lipgloss-type products. There is a magnetic flap on top, similar to Fun Factory toys that you can lift to see the product. The tubes themselves are clear glass, and the blue or pink liquid really looks awesome and kind of.. chemistry-ish. The silver band in the middle is the cap for both little spray bottles; you pull one off to use it. This means that you can’t separate the pair and still cap them both. It’s kind of a minor annoyance but something I couldn’t help but notice.

Spray bottles are pretty easy to use, right? So spray onto your pulse points (neck, wrists and some other place I forget) and let the product go to work. Except, it kind of smells like gross chemicals when you initially spray it. It fades, and then you cannot smell anything at all. I’d almost rather smell like chemicals, so I know it’s there.

Regardless, Pure Sex Pheromone Spray just doesn’t seem to work in practice. Only one time out of five or so seemed to elicit any response, and I’m willing to bet it was because I’m dead sexy or, at the very least, the circumstances surrounding it. That’s not a very impressive track record.

Honestly, I think it would help if this produced any sort of scent at all, so it would have the “I’m so naughty, I’m wearing pheromones” thing going for it. I know products like these sometimes seem to work simply because of the power suggestion, but Pure Sex Pheromone Spray didn’t even offer me that.

Much to do about nothing, I suppose. I recommend you buy a nice perfume or cologne, instead.

Comment

Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

SexToy.com Video on Demand

April 24th, 2010

SexToy VOD

SexToy VOD
from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

I do not watch a lot of porn. Nor do I watch it for long periods of time when I do enjoy it. For this reason, video on demand services seem really appealing. I like the idea of being able to pay by the minute. I decided to give Sextoy.com’s service a shot.

When I first logged in, I immediately recognized the software as the same program that powers another VOD site I’ve used. This means I was already familiar with the site, but it does make it a bit less.. unique than other sites. It’s similar to my last affiliate program review; I can’t knock a service because they use popular software but it doesn’t help with branding.

I’m going to be honest here and say there are almost too many options. So I’ll highlight a few of the good points for you.

Account Center
When you’re logged in, your account info including remaining minutes and link to your favorites and saved items is displayed on the top left.
Search Options
You can search by title or actor
Recent Additions
The right sidebar shows the most recent additions.
Video Preferences
You can specify your preference for gay or straight films
Language Settings
There are multiple language settings

There are a lot of films already displayed on the front page which gives people who are not so familiar with porn–like me–an idea of what they might like. If I want to see the most popular stars or films (even by category), I can do so. There are pages that divide the title by category, studio, star, and more. There’s even a glossary to explain what terms mean and to direct you to the type of films you’d like best.

And when you click any specific film, you’re given a lot of useful information, including stars, run time, and description. Many (maybe all) listings have a scene directory with screencaps so you can browse in individual scenes if you’d like. There is a tab with extensive cast information and viewers can choose the quality of their streaming video (Low, Medium, High, Ultra and Mega); although only certain titles are available in all qualities.

But I have a few gripes, too, and most of them are not so easy to list.

My biggest complaint is that there is simply too damned much going on. I don’t know how much this software can be customized, but there are so many options that it can really be intimidating. It is to me even though I have used it before. The front page has dozens of links and images, and it’s almost to the point of being offensive. I wish there were a streamlined version with fewer suggestions. This would be much more helpful to me.

The focus is on films, which tend to be the type that can be summed up as this “Adjective Body-Part Pt #.” You know, all those series that just seem a little tacky. And those are great for some people but it takes a little more time and patience to find more quality films, IMO. I did find some which might be a little more up the porn snob’s alley. Tristan Taormino films, as well as some by Candida Royalle. The more time I spent looking, the easier it was to find some movies that at least looked interesting to save for later.

The video player itself leaves something to be desired. It’s functional but not intuitive. Video plays in a pop-up, and there is a flash player who looks something like WMP. Of course, since it’s streaming, it takes some time to load. You can skip ahead, but it’ll need time to buffer as well. If you prefer you can actually watch the film in WMP, which might be a better idea. I find the player to be a bit frustrating in Firefox. It’s not fully supported, so I can’t click the link to view all the scenes. Firefox also shows extra options for rating and sizing, which other browsers do. Of course, this is not the fault of FF but of the coders.

But it’s mostly functional. I can pop out the video to full screen; although, even on “Ultra,” very few films are high-quality enough for me to do so without annoyance. The content could use a little TLC. I guess I supposed that I would get not only a clearer picture if I chose a higher quality setting but a larger one, too. Not so. This seems like a no-brainer so me, but, like I said, I’m not a porn aficionado. The options which are not available in Firefox allow the user to zoom, but in my browser of choice, I only have regular and full-screen options.

I think that SexToyTV is definitely useful for those who like to watch porn on their computers and don’t mind sacrificing a little quality or having to take time to get to know the site. I typically prefer porn which requires a little less effort. Sometimes the desire to watch porn actually leaves me before I find something suitable. If you plan to try it out, I’d make most of your purchases in bulk. As can be expected, you get a better discount that way ($.09/minute as compared to $.20/minute). It’s maybe not my perfect porn solution, though.

Comment

Categories: Media, Reviews

Zone Bliss Purple

April 10th, 2010

Zone Bliss Purple

Zone Bliss Purple
N/A from

The Zone Bliss is a uniquely designed vibrator which automatically earns brownie points for a couple characteristics:

  • It looks like a rocket ship
  • It can be used hands free
  • The base is made of sturdy plastic while the insertable portion is a removable silicone sleeve
  • It’s surprisingly strong
  • The controls are super easy to use

But it falls short in several key ways:

  • The design blocks access to the clit (when used vaginally) unless it is turned so the buttons are unreachable
  • It’s too short for me to actually kneel over
  • The base is too large for me to sit on
  • The texture does not add stimulation
  • The shape is not ideal for storage

The design, although original, is straightforward. A cone shape points upward, resting upon tripod. As I mentioned, the base itself is plastic, and the cone is sheathed in a removable silicone sleeve. This makes cleaning a breeze; you can wipe down the plastic and wash the sleeve with soap and water or clean it with a bleach solution. I was worried about lubes or liquids finding their way beneath the sleeve but, thus far, it has not been a problem. It’s perfectly ‘sealed.’

However, this toy is far from problematic. From the initial insertion, I struggled to find any position in which I could use the Zone Bliss comfortably. I tried kneeling and sitting to no avail. I could not kneel low enough for even half insertion, and the hard plastic of the base pushed uncomfortably when I tried to sit. Some bodies might work better for this, and then, conceivably, the Zone Bliss could rest on an even surface (the legs all have little rubber feet on them, which also dampens the noise of it vibrating against the surface). I bet this would work better in a kneeling position over a firm-ish pillow (perhaps one of the Liberator shapes).

I could use it a little more successfully on my back, with legs up. I was also able to achieve full insertion with this method, but even with the Zone Bliss fully inserted, I experienced more issues.

The two buttons to control this vibrator are on one of the legs. To reach the buttons, I situate this leg so it’s in front of me, but then it blocks access to my clit, and the side legs fight for position where my thighs are. So I can rotate the toy so that no legs are directly in front of me, but then the buttons are not really accessible. It seems to me that it would make more sense to put the buttons on the bottom.

Other than that, the soft plastic buttons are decently sized and easy to find because they’re thick. One turns the toy on and cycles upward while the other turns it off. That’s all it does: turns it off. I wish this button cycled downward, too. There are three speeds of steady vibration, which are a little buzzier than I’d like but surprisingly strong. Then again, it better be for a power source of 3 AAs. In fact, I think I’d like to see more vibrators require the extra battery. Then there are multiple pulsation modes:

  • Short-short-long pulse
  • short repeating pulses
  • This short escalating pulse thing
  • Escalation

After escalation, the steady vibration continues again instead of the toy shutting off. It’s kind of confusing. As you can guess, this toy is not the quietest I have ever owned. Most of the base seems to be hollow plastic, so the vibrations sort of reverberate through it. It’s quieter than it would be when resting on a hard surface because of the rubber feet, but this one just might be heard through a closed door.

If I could find a comfortable position, I might like the way the Zone Bliss feels inserted. I could not detect the embossed “chevron” shapes, but the short, squat shaft was appropriate filling for me without being horrendously long. It stimulated my G-spot, but it is short enough – 3.5″ – and lacks the curve that many women need for G-spot stim. Even if it weren’t a bit of a hassle, I could not recommend this toy to newbies or women who like smaller toys. At the base, the shaft has a diameter of 2″. It does taper slightly toward the tip, but much of the shaft remains around 1.5″ in diameter.

In case you were wondering, this vibe is not meant to be submerged. The battery pack clicks in and out like most remotes, so it’s definitely not waterproof.

The Zone Bliss has a lot of depth, too, which means it cannot be stored just anywhere. Your best bets are in a drawer, on a shelf, or in a deep box. I would not store it in any sort of bag. The Zone Bliss also arrives in a rather large, cylindrical plastic container, which is not at all practical for storage unless you collect unique-looking “hat boxes.”

The Zone Bliss is really the sort of toy that is best for people who like to have novelty toys but don’t necessarily mind if those toys are not all that practical.

2 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Alumination

April 2nd, 2010

Alumination Black

Alumination Black
N/A from

This is an archive review of a discontinued toy.

Metal is all the rage in sex toys these days, so I wasn’t entirely surprised to see that Doc Johnson has its own vibrating aluminum line, appropriately named Illumination. These petite vibrators are extremely straightforward: a cylindrical shaft topped off with a rounded end.

This vibrator is long and slim – 6″ x .72″ diameter; it seems to essentially be an elongated mini bullet. Although I have not used them, Jimmyjane’s Little Chroma/Steel/Gold vibrators seem quite similar, so this might be a more cost-effective option if you’re wondering whether or not a toy of this style is good for you. The overall feel is weighty and compact,

Because it is so thin, there is potential to use it as a replacement for bullets in certain toys (cock rings), but it could be awkward because of the length. It is good for precise and direct stimulation and would work well externally. It could be angled to hit certain spots internally, but the lack of texture and girth limits its functionality. I did not especially enjoy the sensation inside; it definitely felt a little lacking. Because I like broader external stimulation, I also did not love my Alumination externally, either.

The size and design make it perfect for newbies, though! It’s not intimidating, and the smooth metal is easy to insert with only a touch of lube (if that). I would strongly warn against anal use because there is no flanged base on this one, and it would slip out of a person’s fingers with ease when coated with lube.

However, it’s ridiculously easy to use. There is a single push button on the end of the battery cap. You know the type. Press once to turn it on, press again to cycle through the settings, and then once more to turn it off. This does mean there is no “quick off” function, of course. There are three strengths of continuous vibration, so this vibrator might not be exciting enough for some people. The vibration is higher pitched, and all levels feel similar to me personally, but if you like pinpoint vibrations, these are focused in the last inch or so of the shaft.

In terms of noise, Alumination is not the loudest vibrator I’ve tried nor the quietest. You could safely use it in one room of the house with others home (door closed) but not in the same room.

Because it is metal, you can experiment with temperature play. Let the Alumination rest in a bowl of cool water or ice cubes to chill it. Replace the cold water with warm water, and you will have a different experience altogether. Some might be disappointed that it is not pure metal because the battery cap is plastic, but I didn’t especially notice. The cap screwed on and off easily enough for me to insert 2 AAA batteries and seems fairly secure (to keep them in place, at least). Doc Johnson even claims the Alumination vibrators are waterproof and there is an O-ring where the cap screws on but it does not meet seamlessly with the shaft. There is an additional seam at the end of the shaft where a separate piece of metal caps off the curved end. This piece is glued into place and seems secure but can easily collect gunk.

Aside from that, the sleek surface makes this toy incredibly easy to clean with a wipe and physical dirt will wash right off with water. It won’t collect lint which is one of the things I detest about silicone, so it can be dried with any old towel. It isn’t made of any material that will react, so it can be tossed in a box with other non-reactive materials. Plus, the small size makes it incredibly easy to store (between the mattresses or deep in your pillowcase?) without being found and the same could be said for travel.

I didn’t keep the box because it is quite a bit bigger than the vibe itself but I enjoyed the floral motifs in metallic paint. The box has a friendly, feminine feel to it. While I have not loved every Doc Johnson toy I’ve tried, the box art is usually visually appealing.

The Alumination vibrator seems to be a solid piece that offers some versatility. It’s extremely affordable as well, so it might be a good toy for a newbie. It didn’t knock my socks off but it was a nice experience, regardless.

3 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.