Coochy Shave Cream – Island Paradise

October 3rd, 2018

I’ve been a fan of Coochy shaving products for a while. Despite the name, I use them to shave just about any part of my body that I shave.

Recently, the makers of Coochy Creme, Classic Erotica, overhauled the line. The designs are now more modern and sleek.

They also switched from pump bottles to tubes in 3 different sizes (12.5 ounces, 7.2 ounces, 3.4 ounces) and introduced new scents. The lineup includes;

  • Green Tease
  • Au Natural (fragrance-free)
  • Be Original
  • Floral Haze
  • Sweet Nectar
  • Frosted Cake

I was getting to the end of a bottle of Frosted Cake, so I decided to switch things up and try the Island Paraside scent (after much deliberation because several items on that list seem enjoyable. Of course, there’s also a scent-free option if that’s more up your alley.

According to the description, this scent is

 Infused with juicy acai berries & sensually sweet mangosteen, you’ll discover and uncover the many wonders of this fragrance.

Sounds nice.

I actually found the scent to be overwhelming when I first used it. There was a strong citrus smell of mangosteen that was almost bitter. However, I realized it’s due to the poor airflow in my shower. Bath products often don’t get to waft in the air in a way that makes them pleasant.

I took this shaving cream with me when I spent the weekend out of town, and I realized that I really enjoyed the fruity smell in a place where the air moved a little better. Of course, it is a strong smelling product, so keep that in mind.

This doesn’t take away from its performance in any way. Coochy Cream makes for a slick, easy shave. The difference between cream and no cream is noticeable in comfort and closeness. It’s not so slick that it gets in the way of using my razor, an issue that I’ve experienced in the past. And the thick cream stays in place pretty well as long as it’s not directly in the stream of water.

I’ve never had any Cooch products irritate my skin, and this is the case with this new scent, and they’re moisturizing (likely due to the jojoba seed oil) enough that I rarely experience itching after I shave (although, dry skin has never really been a concern of mine). If you prefer using direct coconut oil for things like shaving, Coochy might not be up to par.

Other products seem to clog up my razor more than Coochy, too. I would make a point to rinse off your blades if you use the type of multiple blades close together, but that’s smart regardless.

All of my legitimate complaints with this tube of Coochy cream are about the packaging, honestly. SheVibe sent me Island Paraside in the 12.5-ounce container, and it is a larger tube than I am used to. Of course, I managed to drop it on only my third or so use, and the hard plastic cap broke. I suspect a smaller container would not hit the floor as hard.

The large size also means it’s not super travel-friendly; although, you might simply get a smaller travel container to put some in.

Aside from that, I do prefer my shaving cream to come with a pump and plan to transfer the contents of this tube to an old bottle of Coochy cream so I can use the pump — unfortunately, it looks like they’re just not making Coochy cream in pump bottles anymore. I find that having a pump enables me to portion out my use more consistently.

Although you’d think a larger tube of shaving cream would mean it lasts longer, I actually find myself using much more products with larger containers. And the sheer amount of product means quite a bit comes out at once.

This is not a deal-breaker, however. And one of the perks of the larger size is a better overall price.

But if you’re not sure if Coochy is for you or if you can commit to so much product, you can try out any of their scents in the 3.4-ounce tubes, including Island Paradise. I’ve also seen sample packets around.

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Mini Marvels Marvelous Massager

September 16th, 2018

I’ll be honest. I thought all the vibrators in the Mini Marvels line looked dinky, a word I used to describe a toy in a review from a decade ago – and one a little more recently! I was looking for any reason to try a toy in this line, however, because of the comic book-inspired packaging. After I read Dizzy Girl’s favorable review of the Teaser, I decided to try one.

I thought perhaps that the Marvelous Massager was best suited for my masturbatory preferences, and SheVibe shipped it my way.

Cal Exotics attempted to create a line of toys that fit into your hand almost intuitively, and this is one of the things that initially attracted me to the line when I came across it in Dizzy’s review. The finger location of the Teaser, however, seems a little more natural; although, even Dizzy Girl mentioned having to hold the toy in a way other than was intended by the design because she’s human. As am I

Despite other reviewers finding the Marvelous Massager, in particular, to be comfortable to hold, I could not disagree more. In fact, I was surprised to hear anyone describe this thing as easy to hold. As it turns out, I was holding it wrong. See, I require a lot of clitoral pressure when I masturbate, and I want to hold the Marvelous Massager with the thinner end toward my mons, so I get more pressure from the thicker end. Of course, the valleys for my fingers don’t work at all in that position.

Even when I turn the toy around, it still doesn’t seem to be designed well. Keeping your fingers between the “fins” prevents you from bending them at all. I probably have arthritis in my hands, and simply placing my fingers inside the slots for less than a minute leaves my knuckles feeling a bit stranger for a while. Not necessarily painful, but just a reminder of how damn awkward the position was. Were the handle portion narrow like the Teaser, it might fit more comfortably.

But there’s another issue. The Mini Marvels seem like they might simply be better for someone whose hands do not fit into gloves meant for children. In Mizz Jezebella’s photos, her fingers extend far longer than mine, and her knuckles sit differently within the finger valleys.

Finally, you can’t push the buttons with the same hand that’s using the vibrator

I think a solution to my issues, aside from having hands that function at 100%, would simply to make the fins that line that finger valleys much more flexible. A couple of bloggers call them flexible in their reviews but.. eh.. not really. You’d certainly think the fins would be more flexible than they are. That would give my fingers more room to “breathe” and, I suspect, make holding the Marvelous Massager much more comfortable (especially if they extended further from the center of the toy). Plus, this would allow a greater range of people to use this toy.

CalExotics obviously designed the Marvelous Massager — and perhaps all of the toys in the Mini Marvels line — with (cis) women in mind. They’re ideal for lithe fingers and, in fact, the illustrations included with the Marvelous Massager do not depict human fingers. Perhaps they’re some sort of alien appendages. I don’t know if CalExotics has invented finger shaming, but it’s ridiculous.

As is, my fingers seem pretty standard width. They’re not remarkably slender or wide. But anyone with meatier fingers, and definitely cis men would find the Marvelous Massager nigh on impossible to use as intended.

You can always use the toy more in the palm of your hand than with your fingers in the grooves. The shape of the Marvelous Massager means that I still can’t acquire the pressure that I prefer. I like the side that makes contact to protrude more. Lelo Siri 2Lelo’s Siri does this a bit. So does the Fun Factory Laya Spot. It allows me to grind the toy into my vulva. I can’t do this with this toy, however.

That leaves us at vibrations. I’ve seen some toys that are surprisingly powerful despite their size and toys that have vibrations as weak as they are small. The Marvelous Massager falls somewhere in between. It’s perhaps stronger than you might think given the design, but it’s a far cry from marvelous. Perhaps the broad bottom of this toy is less than ideal for distributing vibrations. I don’t necessarily want something pinpoint, but it’s just a bit too diffuse for me. I tried using the vibrator on its side, but that’s not an ideal solution, either.

There are seven settings aside from constant vibration. By now, my readers probably know that I’m not down with these settings. They seem lackluster, per usual.

One thing I do like is that the two buttons (power and cycling through settings) are raised. These didn’t show up well in my photos, but they’re easy to find with your fingers. Of course, the position doesn’t make perfect sense. I wonder if CalExotics could have managed to put them more on the sides like some computer mouses have buttons. Or even make it squeezable from the sides. Combining this with the Minna Limon would make an interesting little toy.

Aside from issues I’ve covered, you might care to know that the Marvelous Massager is waterproof and recharges via USB. For those who desire more power, you’re only going to get 30 minutes out of this vibrator (2 hours on low setting, however). This seems laughable compared to some vibrators and especially when you consider that it needs 2.5 hours to charge. I drained the toy on my first use. It looks like the entire line uses the same motor, so I wouldn’t use this as your only toy if you enjoy marathon sessions.

I suppose I cannot help but wonder if the shape of the Marvelous Massager is my biggest issue. Would I have preferred  something  else or am I out of luck given my preferences?

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My Favorite Red, White and Blue Sex Toys

June 30th, 2018

I’m not much for celebrating our country’s Independence Day. I mean, there’s nothing wrong with firing up the grill or throwing last year’s husk of a Christmas tree into a bonfire to blaze gloriously for all of 30 seconds as your face melts off. And who doesn’t enjoy fireworks? I like the activities, but I just don’t feel the season.

To each her own, eh?

Anyway, I thought it would be fun if I let my readers in on my favorite toys boasting the patriotic colors of the American (and plenty of other countries’) flags. I’ve updated this list to include some newer items since I originally posted it and to remove some that are no longer available.

Note that while I’ll provide affiliate links to a few products below, you can get most of these from my affiliate store here. Right now, you can save 20% off everything with code REDWHITEYOU.

uberkinky bondage tape

Red (and black( bondage tape from UberKinky

Red

White

  • I’m pretty sure Jimmyjane no longer makes any other Contour massage stones, which is a bummer. These are way nicer than the cheap plastic massagers you get around Christmas time. I actually haven’t used my Contour M in years, but it’s such a nice piece. And it’s rather affordable. Check it out from SheVibe for less than $23.
  • Speaking of SheVibe, they’re where I recommend buying the Unicorn dildo by Split Peaches. Now, you might recall that the version I reviewed doesn’t exactly fit the color scheme, and you’re right. But there’s a gorgeous, opalescent white finish you can get it in. It comes in three sizes for your perfect fit.
  • There’s only ever been one Tantus toy that I love: the Faerie. And I think I love it because of the pearlescent white shimmer. I didn’t even get the white version, but I can’t complain. Unfortunately, Tantus no longer makes it. Bummer. They do sell a similar Slow Drive, but in different colors.
  • Although not a sex toy per se, I’d like to add 101 Vagina into this mix. This coffee table book depicts images of different vulvas, and you know I’m all for body positivity! The hardcover book uses monochromatic images to make a striking impression. Check out my review before you buy it from Amazon.

Lelo Ora 2

Lelo’s second attempt at a clitoral stimulator

Blue

There are more awesome blue sex toys in my nightstand than there seems to be any other color. In no particular order, I love these:

  • Jimmyjane Form 6 G3. I don’t know why more people aren’t shouting their love for this sleek, rechargeable and powerful vibrator. Not everyone likes it, but I do. Vibrant sells both the blue and pink for $175.
  • Now, I didn’t get my Lelo Ora in blue, but the blue one is pretty much the perfect shade to celebrate your country. Pretend I made some horrible analogy about fireworks and masturbating. Okay, you don’t have to. My point is, however, that it’s the perfect shade of blue and does the oral stimulation simulation thing better than anything I’ve tried. The second one made some much-needed improvements. You’ll have no problem finding it at retailers, but it’s currently on sale at Lovehoney and directly from Lelo when using coupon 15june18.
  • Minna’s Limon is a pressure-sensitive vibrator that’s perfect for clitoral stimulation and can even be used hands-free. I enjoy it much more than anything else I’ve tried from the company. Unfortunately, there are few retailers selling the Limon anymore. You can buy it from Vibrant but only in the pink.

So what are your favorite red white and blue items?

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#NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book [Review]

May 17th, 2017

Do you guys remember last year when adult coloring books became *the* thing? Suddenly, everyone was selling them or using them, and a new market blossomed. One of the cool things about *adult* coloring books when compared to those of my childhood was that they could be full of adult themes: sophisticated designs, sex toys, skulls, and curse words — like the #NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book that SheVibe sells.

I really enjoy the coloring bandwagon. I saw the appeal. It’s relaxing and fun. It’s a little artistic. Adult coloring books combine childlike delight with a devious streak. Win-win, right?

Now, you might wonder whether SheVibe is the right company to make an adult coloring book, but I’d like to remind you that the website is decorated with gorgeous comic-style covers every month, and many customers receive boxes full of similar art (not me.. yet). It’s a match made in Heaven.

I opted for the Creative Cursing Coloring Book because I’ve got a foul mouth, but if you want to color scenes, SheVibe has you covered, too.

You can actually buy those 4 coloring books as a bundle to save money.

The Creative Cursing Coloring Book is full of everyone’s favorite curse words as well as some newly-creative words. Some definitely seem inspired by the Brits (Fucking Wanker, anyone?), who we all know cuss quite colorfully.

Each word is detailed, typically with a floral (paisley) design.  By my count, there are 37 pictures to color including a copy of the cover, which is the last page. The pictures are printed front-and-back on the pages, but they’re fairly thick stock so you could probably use pens or markers without too much bleed through.

Thus far, I’ve used coloring pencils and have discovered that I am not great at choosing palettes. Woops.

This brings me to another issue, which is not at all the fault of SheVibe or the Creative Cursing Coloring Book. I have weak joints, and pain likes to flare up when I’m writing or drawing (painting my nails can be a bitch sometimes). So I’ve not spent too much time with the #NSFW Creative Cursing Coloring Book. I wish I could.

It would be nice if the pages were perforated if you wanted to tear them out to color (or have your friends join you) or simply to show off when you’re done. But I assume this would bring up the price quite a bit.

There are similar products that are readily available, and some may be cheaper than this coloring book from SheVibe, but you might opt for this if you want to support the company and show appreciation for Alex Kotkin, who is the artist behind the coloring books and comic covers on the site.

I can tell you that everyone who’s seen the Creative Cursing Coloring book has been super excited over it and was interested in finding their own. I think this would make a great gift.

I’d like to thank SheVibe for providing not just this coloring book for me to review!

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Split Peaches Unicorn Horn Dildo (Pastel Pleasures – Medium)

March 31st, 2017

This is an archived review of a discontinued product. You can purchase a similar unicorn dildo by Raw Love.

Have you ever used a toy that’s just too good? Yea. It’s a thing. I didn’t know either.

Sure, I’ve have toys that were very good. Some were, eh, good enough. Some were, wow, not good at all. This dildo might be the first that’s too good. It’s almost unbelievable like a unicorn, you might say.

So let’s talk about that first. This is a dildo like a unicorn horn. I got one swathed in pastels with silicone wrapping its way down the shaft. To be honest, it looks a bit more like ice cream than a unicorn horn, but you can also get it in pearlescent white, which might be more traditional for unicorns, along with a bold, rainbow-colored one. There’s even a gorgeous blue-purple one on the manufacturer’s site that SheVibe doesn’t carry (yet…?).

There’s a flat base that could be compatible with your harness if you want the power of the unicorn; though, I’ve only used this solo.

The dildo is surprisingly flexible. You can bend it backward to touch itself. The outer layer has a fair amount of give. It’s not squishy like VixSkin, more like a softer version of Tantus’ shiny silicone. The core is firm enough to remain upright. And it’s not so soft that you can’t control it from the base when it’s inserted. I really enjoy the formula of this silicone, and much silicone has fallen into the “meh” camp for me previously.

The one thing that’s not good about the silicone? It’s the lintiest lint-magnet ever. Like wash-it-and-wash-it-again. I’ve never had to spend so much time washing a toy as I have the unicorn dildo. And there is no way possible to photograph it without picking up more lint and hair. Sorry.

The end of the horn is rounded, so penetration feels easy with a little lube, even if it’s not particularly awesome lube, haha. And the particular increase in circumference is nearly perfect. I don’t need to be warmed up at all, and the narrower tip doesn’t bother my cervix. Again, near perfection.

But I think a custom size would be better up my alley. The length — 10 inches — isn’t really necessary, and I don’t feel especially full when the toy hits my cervix. If this were maybe 3″ shorter, I would absolutely adore it. It would still not be the toy for size queens, but I’d be able to appreciate the 2.75-inch circumference near the base in a way that I just can’t now.

Still, I can use the dildo, get it right where I want it (thanks to the flexibility), press it right against my G-spot (thanks to the firmness) and hold it in place until I squirt. It’s made me squirt nearly immediately. Like 10 seconds or less. It doesn’t take much to make me squirt, but this is still impressive. A second ejaculation followed, needing less than half that time.

But if it only takes fifteen seconds, what else do I do it with it, you know? Fortunately, I do find the unicorn dildo to be quite enjoyable while stroking. The twisted texture seems too subtle to notice, but I can feel the waves in a way that’s in no way objectionable. Split Peaches makes dildos with much more texture if that’s up your alley, however.

If there were any toy that was going to give me a vaginal orgasm, the unicorn dildo is probably it. We’re not there yet, but, hey, sometimes you’ve got to believe in magic, right?

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No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door

November 4th, 2016

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

I wish there was a sufficiently succinct way to describe toys-that-I-won’t-call-worthless-because-they-work-for-clitoral-stimulation-but-I-intended-to-use-them-internally. I mean, that’s pretty long-winded.

Long, too, is the list of toys that fit this. Their shape or vibrations just don’t do it for my G-spot, but the shape generally works well enough to provide me with a clitoral orgasm. I tend to be lenient about these things because shape is so important for me clitorally.

However, a toy that doesn’t do what it’s intended to isn’t worth much, and that alone should prevent me from recommending a toy. If a sex toy provides its expected function in addition to being versatile, that’s worth commending.

So why am I so often looking for ways to give positives to toys that otherwise don’t meet expectations? Perhaps I am looking for a way to say “At least I didn’t waste my time (or money).”

Let me waste no more of your time ranting about disappointing toys in general. Let’s talk about one toy that’s disappointing yet strangely intriguing — No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

So, this new line by Black Door consists of velvety soft silicone. I enjoy the texture of the No 17, which is part of the reason the slightly curved head works so well clitorally. It is reminiscent of the heads on several Fun Factory toys, including Patchy Paul.

But the real selling point of this vibrator is that it bends. This isn’t the first toy to bend. JeJoue’s G Ki comes to mind. This toy was supposed to help you get perfect G-spot stimulation by allowing you to customize the angle of the bend

No. 17 Bendable Twist Vibrator has a flexible core that doesn’t rely on specific “joints.” It feels more like posable dolls limbs, which I hope won’t freak you out. The intended result, as far as I can tell, was to be able to create a custom shape for your body.

Herein lies the problem. This flexibility means you can ben it any which way (well, within reason), but it also means it doesn’t stay in place. For example, using it for clitoral stimulation tend to make it bend backward. I think rigorous thrusting internally could do the same; although, I didn’t do much thrusting with the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door.

I found myself try to bend it once inserted to get dual stimulation, but couldn’t achieve an S-shape to get proper clitoral stimulation. I found that it hurt to bend while inserted, so I would try to bend it partially with my hands before insertion, then finish the job once it was inserted.

While the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door was bent into a C/U shape, I was able to squirt by using a sort of rocking motion. I’m sure the toolbox-like texture (like this) helped, but it wasn’t a fantastic sensation. The vibrations are just so weak, you almost can’t tell if they’re buzzy or deep. It’s.. odd. This is because the toy runs on 2AAAs. It’s 2016 guys, get with the program!

It’s 2016 guys, get with the program! There are rechargeable vibrators that are worth the price for for well under $100 (Cuddle comes to mind), and even a few just slightly more expensive than this one that are rechargeable with stronger motors.

This brings me to my next gripe. I actually two of these vibrators because it took me several weeks to get one to work. As it turns out, the No. 17 Bendable Twist Waterproof Silicone Vibrator by Black Door doesn’t like rechargeable batteries. I’m not sure if this is the case with the entire line, but it’s worth noting if you suspect your toy is defective. Try regular batteries instead.

This might not be a deal-breaker for a vibrator that I loved, but I don’t. It is frustrating if you rely on rechargeable batteries and don’t tend to keep regular AAAs around. To be honest, it kind of seems unacceptable in this day and age. I’m not sure what’s happening technologically-speaking that would make the difference, but it’s not cool.

Even worse, I tried to contact the company to get some heads up, and no one replied. That’s pretty shitty. Fortunately, the folks at SheVibe were on the ball. Anyway..

The controls seem remarkably dated as well. There’s a single button in the handle, which is triangular and actually preferable to some other looped handles I’ve used in the past (I’m talking about you Alia and Big Boss). You can cycle through the settings or hold it to turn off the toy, but there’s nothing “smart” about this vibrator.

I guess that leaves me scratching my head or, more likely, posting flummoxed tweets. The toy tries to do something new but doesn’t have a solid foundation to back it up. Not everyone would love a bendable vibe, and some people would prefer bending toys like the G-ki versus the No. 17, but there are people who would be intrigued by this concept. And I really think they should be offered something better than this.

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Tantus Silicone Fantasy Gag

December 7th, 2014

My track record with Tantus toys hasn’t been so great. While others will rave about the dildos, strap-ons, cock rings and anal probes, I’ve felt a lot like Goldilocks. They were too big or too small, too hard or too soft. Whatever it was that I was looking for, I hadn’t found it.

To this date, I have liked — and kept — only a single Tantus dildo. This means I’ve been a sex toy fairy for some friends, but that I don’t recommend the company like others do. You see, the silicone is awesome. Some of the colors? Amazing! But I don’t think the textures and density are much for me. I prefer Vixen by far.

Similarly, I haven’t had much luck with gags. I have a rather small mouth. My dentist will confirm this, so I need a smaller gag. In fact, the actually balls don’t work that well, and neither did the one bar-style gag that I tried. Although, that one was pretty cheap.

For a while, I had my eye on the tiny cock gag. It’s cute, and it’s not perfectly round. Better for my mouth? I thought so. Plus, it’s made of silicone because it’s by Tantus. I’ve seen similar design made from PVC, but even if I didn’t care about cleanliness, who wants that smell/taste in their mouth? Add in leather, and I’m sold.

When I got this gag, I removed it from the package and separated the leather strap to wash just the gag part. Because you can do this, you can boil or spray with bleach to sterilize.

I immediately noticed that the silicone retained the smell of the leather, however. This is from being packaged with the leather in an airtight package. I like leather, but the smell/taste in my mouth was overwhelming, so I would definitely recommend a thorough cleaning and letting this air out before you use it. You’ll want to quickly move this from cleaning to use because the shiny silicone picks up every bit of lint, as you can see from my photo!

You’ll always want to remove the straps for cleaning. They’re not waterproof, but the directions say you can wipe clean with a damp cloth and treat with leather conditioner. I’ll be honest, I’m really bad with my leather goods. Oops!

Once it’s ready to use, it’s easy. The straps slide through holes on either side of the silicone cock and snap shut. The fit is secure, so I had to use two hands to do this. If you want the “pretty” side of the snap to show, make sure it’s facing away from the gag. The Velcro is long enough that you can adjust the size of the gag a bit.  You’re going to get a maximum circumference of about 25 inchs and can shrink that to 20 or 21 inches if you want the Velcro to remain secure.
The gag secures behind your head with velcro. This will keep it in place, but I did struggle finding the perfect position so that the straps wouldn’t slide. When I tried to tighten it or pull it too high on the back of my head, it definitely triggered my gag reflex because it fills more out of your mouth than many styles of gags.

However, unlike those gags, you could comfortable keep just the silicone portion in your mouth without needing to be restrained thanks to the contoured head. I was able to easily and comfortably wrap my teeth around those ridges. You could insert all the way to the base, but my throat will need some stretching before that happens. Like I said, my mouth is pretty small, so the 1.5-inch length feels pretty big to me. I noticed that this was definitely a drool-inducing gag if you’re into that!

In fact, this might not be a good beginner’s gag because of the size and depth. The Fantasy gag itself is about 1.75 inches wide at the largest point, one of the ripples. However, the tapered head is less wide, and the design isn’t perfectly round. The shape is quite like a butt plug, to be honest. You could probably use it for one if you wanted.

This is a solid basic gag that’s different from every other gag on the market. I do think there is room for improvement. For starters, it would simply be cool if the gag attached to the straps via O-ring like a strap on. Secondly, I’m not sure Velcro is the most secure option. The style with D-rings offers more adjustments when it comes to size and might be better at not catching your hair, which I noticed happened  pretty easily.

Small mouths aside, this is probably my favorite gag to date, though!

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