Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

July 30th, 2010

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010

Best Lesbian Erotica 2010
3.94 from Amazon

It took me forever to finish Best Lesbian Erotica 2010. I am now 100% positive that I can never be 100% satisfied with lesbian erotica. Or full length erotica, at that. I wish it hadn’t taken two full anthologies to realize that, however.

I would describe this collection much the same way I described last year’s. There’s lesbian sex. Group sex. Oral, anal, penetration. Gender bending. Roleplaying. Fantasies. BDSM and more. Many of the stories included omitted relationships, or at least that is what I assumed from the way they were written. There were some no-strings-attached encounters and one story even included a first-time lesbian experience as in “In the Sauna” by Stella Watts Kelley. For the most part, the characters have established their gender and sexual identities. As a mostly straight chick who doesn’t not-identify with her anatomy, it can be a little difficult to empathize with the characters or situations. I think that detracts from my enjoyment a bit.

It would definitely balance the collection to have a few more first-timer or novice type stories. I could better related to those and that would allow me to get lost in the story. As it is, I really had to force myself to finish this book, especially because some of the pieces were ridiculously long and included multiple parts. I was discussing this book with someone else and it struck me that others may not read erotica to get off but I do. Thus, the erotica that I find most effective keeps moving, has more overt sex than covert and isn’t so long that it works against my orgasm. Shorter stories also work better to get me in the mood sooner.

Although I’ve started this fairly negatively, it’s not a horrible collection. The stories are unique, well written and well edited. There’s a lot of creativity. I personally had not heard of any of the authors but, like any anthology, you can find additional information about them at the back of the book.

There were a couple memorable stories. Holly Farris wrote a piece entitled “Lives of the Saints” in which two amorous saints visit a woman who experiences doubts about her relationship. Additionally, I was entertained by Kelsy Chauvin’s “Sexting: One Side of a Two-Way.” In this story, we see a number of sexual texts from one woman to another with whom she had an encounter. The time line stretches over a two week period, during which the women chat back and forth and have several more encounters. The format is extremely unique and easy to read. I also especially enjoyed “Shameless” by Kimberly Reed and Anais Morten. This two part pieces follows a lesbian couple as they perform in front of a pair of strangers who are men. Each character gets the chance to tell her side of the story as she performs for her lover.

Some stories were simply not my style because they weren’t direct enough or were perhaps too creative for me. I have no idea what actually happened in “Uppercasing” by Charlie Anders. I guess I need my sex and erotica to be a little more straight forward.

Some folks might think that this series may be suffering from a new editor or the fact that a bunch of musicians (Sorry, I’ve never heard of BETTY) chose the stories. Maybe it’s related but I didn’t love last year’s edition, either. I know that erotica is really subjective. You win some, you lose some sort of thing but I also know that really intriguing erotica stays with me permanently. I can name a handful of stories from other collections that have really stuck with me over the past year to eighteen months. I just don’t think this will cut it.

I’m still interested in erotica but I am definitely going to focus on unique situational erotica and shorter stories from this point on.

2 Comments

Categories: Books, Reviews

I’m All Right

July 21st, 2010

He moved out almost two weeks ago. I am surviving. I have all the furniture so I am certainly doing better than him in that respect. d= I’m trying to look at the bright side of things and, to be honest, there are a dew things I don’t mind like..

Doing half the laundry.
Washing half the dishes.
Buying the food I want and eating what I want, when I want.
Not having to cook for two or share the meal I only made for one.
Not hearing the phrase “FML” every 5 minutes.
No annoying video game shooting the background.
I don’t have to share the TV.
I can set the temp of the A/C and the shower, however I like.
Having way less than half the mess to clean.
Not having someone so negative around all the time.
No need to worry about fighting.
Being able to decorate my way.

5 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe

July 19th, 2010

Janine's Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe

Janine's Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe
$33 from Pink Cherry

Lordy, has it ever taken me forever to sit down to this review. If you didn’t guess from the name and picture, this rabbit vibrator is in Digital Playground’s line of Pirates inspired toys. All of them are extremely artistic and the thought that went into creation and design is really astounding. I’m not sure why the toys are out now (DVD release, maybe?) but it’s hard to miss them at any retailer.

So let me start by saying that Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe is heavy on the detail. The base is made of a hard, velvety plastic in a deep rosey pink. On either side is a “decal” featuring a stylized cross between two “ropes.” Around the top of the base, below where the shaft starts, are two rows of orange rhinestones.

And then there’s the shaft in a translucent pink TPE. The first third of the shaft, next to the base, has a stylized pirate skull embossed into it with some surrounding details. We are talking major texture here (although, this portion isn’t insertable with the clitoral stimulator being there and all). The clit stim is, literally, crafted to look like a cannon on a rolling platform with the barrel pointing toward the end the toy. It’s the barrel that will rest against the clitoris during use.The design is a little different from your typical rabbits and the clit stim extends about 1.25″ from the base. Although the sides and back of the cannon have some texture, the part that will actually touch the body is smooth except for a single ridge that goes around the end of the cannon.

This portion of the shaft ends with an embossed “rope” that encircles the shaft. Then the TPE is smooth for about 1.75.” It is behind this portion of TPE that the rotating beads sit and you can see them pretty clearly through the smooth TPE.

The last third of the shaft starts with another embossed rope and, above that, more texture can be found. The head of the shaft is curve, for G-spot stimulation I’d guess, and stylized so it looks like the curved butt of those old fashioned pirate pistols. There are swirly lines and a starburst-y pattern among other textures. Now, don’t think about it too much because you’ll realize it makes no sense for this cannon vibe to have a handle like that and, even if it did, it shouldn’t be on that end. You see, you’d be shooting yourself. But, like I said, pay no attention to logic.

By this point, I’d be halfway done with most of my reviews. The reason I’ve spent so much attention on this detail is simply because there is a lot of it and it will effect your experience. I can’t say for sure whether it will be a negative or positive impact but this is the type of texture that you just cannot miss. I absolutely recommend using a fuckton of lube (water or silicone) with the Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe to ease insertion and prevent pain.

To add to the the texture, this isn’t a tiny vibe. The girth, around the smooth portion, is 1.59.” It definitely has a decent size and with the texture around the last third, the girth is probably even a bit larger. There are 4.5″ that you can insert but, I’ll be honest, I thought it felt like so much more. Perhaps because of the girth or texture or because the cannon barrel is shorter than most rabbit clit stims but it was just so.. there.

Size-wise, I wasn’t really fulfilled. I say that playfully because I definitely was filled but the size and curve of the shaft weren’t the best to reach my clit, nor was the clit stim super effective. The cannon barrel is a chunk of squishy TPE so it doesn’t move like rabbit ears nor can you really get a lot of pressure from it.

The vibrations were also a little lackluster which, I should have known. This will probably be the last toy I get that uses AAAs because they never satisfy me. This rabbit takes 4 (in an easy load type pack, the battery cap screws on and there’s a prominent O-ring) but the output is just pathetic. When you push the power button, both functions turn on. The shaft and beads rotate simultaneously while the clit stim vibrates. There’s a single button to page through vibration modes (low, medium and high) but the vibes are so high pitched that all the steady modes feel pretty similar and the pulsation modes are nothing to write home about either. There are 7 vibration settings altogether.

The other button adjusts the speed of rotation, of which there are three speeds. There’s also two sort of pulsing rotation settings. That’s pretty unique but it’s overwhelmed by the vibration, size and texture in my opinion. I do not specifically recall if I could stop the rotation with my PC muscles but I wouldn’t doubt it, considering the source. I tend not to try it with larger or super textured toys, though, because it hurts.

The functions are interesting and I have a few thoughts about them. One, when you turn off the toy (with the master power switch), it takes a few seconds for the rotation to stop and it still makes noise while it’s stopping. That’s a bummer. Secondly, you cannot have just the vibrations or just the rotation on. Another bummer. It’s not ridiculously loud though. With both functions on the highest setting, it’s still much quieter than the Miracle Massager and it’s quieter in use, as the body absorbs some of the sound.

Like most rabbits, Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe is weight and lacks balance. I think the gobs of TPE used to create the details only adds to that, sadly. The long base (the toy is over 10″ long in total) on this one is a bit difficult to use with my short arms. I find that I have to pull the base upwards to grasp it well and this results in the shaft pulling away from any sensitive spots. This is something that frequently occurs with rabbits, however.

Just to cover a few basics, you can easily wash this one with soap and water but will have to carefully scrub around the texture. There is a storage bag included but the shiny TPE tends to stick on the material during insertion or removal so it’s not as practical as I’d like.

So, my final thoughts are like this: Digital Playground has created some really unique movie merchandise but, like most movie merchandise, I feel like Janine’s Cannon Fire Pirates Rabbit Vibe would be better left in its box, on the mantel shelf than actually put to use. In fact, some true movie merchandise might have been more useful than sex toys.

7 Comments

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

I Knew Better

July 13th, 2010

It didn’t take long for me to feel miserable about having sex. I tried to convince myself that it was “just” sex. I tried to be grateful that I was having it at all, especially considering that I won’t be having it anytime soon. But I couldn’t. I just don’t operate that way. Deep down, I knew I was doing it just to be close to him. Or maybe, just so we wouldn’t fight. If I was making him happy in some way, at least we weren’t fighting.

It got to the point where I cried every time. It got harder to orgasm and, when I did, it wasn’t satisfying. It was harder to accept his advances because I knew I was selling myself out. I don’t even know if he noticed that I was crying or, maybe, he just didn’t realize why.

It’s not his fault. I didn’t say “no.” Part of me did want it. Yet, it hurt. So I did start rejecting him. He stopped asking. I was miserable because I felt like we had lost our only connection. Yet, I knew it wasn’t much of a connection to begin with.

He left on Saturday. I’ve been decent, save for some computer problems. It’s amazing how quickly my desire for any stimulation has come back now that I don’t feel guilty or used. Earlier, I was missing oral. I considered texting him to come over. It’d be hot, I know. But would it be worth it? Probably not. I didn’t text him. I think.. that I’m glad of that.

Sex stopped being an awesome thing when it stopped being about love. It stopped being pleasurable. It stopped being appealing. It stopped being something I need and.. I may be okay with that.

5 Comments

Categories: Everything Else

Love Bumper Iceberg

July 10th, 2010

Love Bumper Iceberg

Love Bumper Iceberg

Love Bumper no longer appears to exist, but you can buy similar sex position pillows from Liberator. Try the Jaz, which has a slot for your favorite toy.

The Iceberg, by Love Bumper, was my first sex pillow. People love Liberator position pillows, even though they seem so simple. Folks are always talking about them and claiming that they really improve their sex lives so I requested this pillow from Good Vibes.

Initially, I was shocked by how firm this is. I wasn’t expecting a fluffy bed type pillow, maybe a thicker couch cushion but the Iceberg is much firmer than that, still. It’ll compress a bit under body weight but it’s pretty sturdy and will definitely give you a boost. The Iceberg came without any packaging or additional information. I Googled the company website for position ideas and there were a few.

The Iceberg is.. sort of four-sided. The bottom and back are straight and meet at a right angle while the longer side on top curves away from the body and the top of this panel meets a fourth, narrow side. Refer to the image to un-confuse yourself. d= The curved side features a small pocket (1 1/2″ x 2-3″) where the user can insert a vibrator. For whatever reason, Love Bumper recommends Lelo vibes but I have no idea what would make those vibes more suitable for this pocket. I used a small, straight vibrator with a bulbous head. Maybe it would work better to use a vibe whose shaft curved similarly to the pillow but I don’t see it being a big deal. What I can say, is that electric vibes probably won’t be ideal, nor would bullet vibes (they’d completely sit inside the pocket and it would be difficult to adjust during use). Any vibe with a button on the end of the base will require you to turn it on before use. A toy with a remote control (wired or wireless) might be your best option.

The body, especially the female body, is meant to press against this side so the vibe offers clitoral stimulation. In use, I found it a bit difficult to comfortably rest against the foam pillow and feet the vibrations for a couple of reasons. First, the angle that provided the best stimulation was hard on my hips because of the firmness of the pillow. Secondly, I’ve got a fleshier mons so the vibe didn’t necessarily get right up against my clit. Your mileage will vary, I’m sure, depending on your anatomy.

The most obvious uses of the Iceberg are to aid rear entry or oral (with the pillow raising her hips). Using the pillow in the same position as oral could also work for edge-of-the-bed (sofa, etc) sex or regular missionary to enhance G-spot stimulation. I tried it for doggy style but honestly found the foam a little too firm for comfort. Combined with personal issues, I haven’t used it as much as I’d like.

However, if I did use it and abused it, I could easily remove the “polysuede” microfiber cover to toss in the wash. It attaches securely via zippers on the sides and velcro on the bottom (in fact, all of the sewing seems pretty quality and the pocket is even lined with a pleather-y material). This part of the Iceberg is available in red or purple. The sides are not removable, however. It’s like likely for these areas to see lubes and liquids but I wish the whole thing had a removable cover. Instead, the material reminds me of pleather. I’d wipe it down with a damp cloth if I needed to, however.

The Iceberg is not a giant pillow. It could fit under some beds or in deep drawers(it’s 13 3/4″ wide and 13″ high at the tallest). You could probably hide it in a closet pretty easily and there’s position for it to be used outside of the bedroom, if you want, so no need to hide it at all.

My first impressions of the Iceberg by Love Bumper do leave me a little wanting. I will definitely have to give it a few more tries before making my mind up for good, though.

1 Comment

Categories: Non-Sex Toys, Reviews

And the Winner Is..!

July 7th, 2010

Actually, I have two winners as I’ve decided each one will get one of the items from my giveaway.

The first is Violet who swooped in early on. She was the first and only contestant for a while and is was probably due to her tweeting and blogging that people started paying attention. To her, I will give “Sex Is Fun,” a graphic novel that she claims she cannot live without. No one can claim I am a murderer!

The second winner is a lovely Aphrodite who joined late in the runnings but quickly made p for it by blogging, tweeting and commenting! She will be receiving the Ultimate Satisfier vibrator.

Thank you to all my participants.

Keep your eyes peeled because my blog anniversary is coming up in a week and a half and I may just try to have another giveaway for that!

3 Comments

Categories: Winners

Solar Bullet

July 3rd, 2010

Solar Bullet

Solar Bullet
$25.91S from Amazon

The Solar Bullet from California Exotics is something that several sites offered up for review–and I passed over–before I knew I was going to be reviewing it for the manufacturer. You see, I’m not a huge fan of bullet vibes to begin with (I already have one that I like just fine) and the concept seemed more novel than practical for me. But it did show up at my door, and try it out, I did.

The Solar Bullet was actually charged, which is neat. There’s a little blue light on the control pack/charger that indicates this status. I believe it needs 8 hours to fully charge and it doesn’t need OMG sunlight. I set it on my printer to charge, without ever opening my blinds. You can use other light sources, too.

So the charger is a mostly, flat solar cell type thingy in plastic. There’s a sliding button to control vibrations. The button’s a little retro, in my opinion, but it functions just fine. The pack itself is much bigger than the battery packs I’ve used for other bullets and it’s bigger than my cell phone as well. It doesn’t quite fit nimbly in the palm of a person’s hand but I understand it has to be that size for this concept to work at all.

Well, sort of.

You see, the solar bullet isn’t any more powerful than those wireless bullets that rely on watch batteries and they don’t have any bulky attachments. The vibrations are extremely high pitched so while there’s an initial tingle, my body becomes unable to feel them at all within a minute. That just doesn’t cut it for me.

I’m not a huge fan of the design, either. The Solar Bullet is very narrow hard plastic shape, even moreso than any of the watch-battery bullets I’ve had with other toys, if I recall correctly. It would probably fit into some of those cock rings that take replaceable bullets, if you have a need. Other than that, I like my surfaces to be broader and flatter and.. more usable. For some unknown reason, there is a tiny light at the tip of the solar bullet. I don’t know if it’s plastic or glass but I have this secret fear of breaking the clear casing and slicing through my clit. Yea, no… Not a good visual. Even if it didn’t make me fearful, I just don’t understand the point. Don’t lotsa people like to use the very tip of the toy? This pretty much means you cannot do that.

Needless to say, I really didn’t spend enough time with the Solar Bullet to run it dry. I really like the idea but it just doesn’t work for me in the real world. Unless you’re into collecting novel toys, skip this one.

Comment

Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.