Vanity by Jopen – Vr4.5

June 23rd, 2012

Vanity by Jopen - Vr4.5
$152.99 from EdenFantasys

I am just not having much luck with the Jopen vibes, but I really want to. The most recent round that the company released use the .5 naming. That is, version 4.5, 5.5, et cetera. It’s kind of cute but also kind of confusing, because it doesn’t seem like the 4.5, which I received, is actually halfway between versions 4 and VR5, and that’s exactly what I’d expect that sort of nomenclature to denote. Whatever.

So, the 4.5 is far different from the Jopen toys I’ve tried before. It’s a rabbit style vibrator, but both the clitoral attachment and the 5″ shaft are quite flexible, which might be good if you tried a similar vibrator–Lelo’s Ina comes to mind–but the design pressed too hard against you. Additionally, the clitoral arm isn’t just a rounded nut, but it has a little extension of silicone that vibrates wildly back and forth when the motor is on, the like rabbit ears of olden days. I always preferred pressing the actual bullet of rabbit vibes against my clit, but others enjoy this lighter, tickly sensation, so the 4.5 brings it back.

The vr 4.5 does many things the same. For example, each part has its own motor and the two buttons let you operate them independent of one another. You press and hold the buttons to increase vibrations, which are only steady, and a single click turns them back off. It’s a style that feels intuitive and that I like, but because it’s so uncommon, I always have to adjust to it again. The vibrations are damned powerful, even if I didn’t charge the thing the whole way. The silicone is velvety and the whole thing is rechargeable. The design is intended to be water-resistant, but I had enough time out of water, thank you very much.

And that’s do to another similarly. Like the other Jopen toys I tried, the shaft is very thin near the base but becomes this big bulbous thing at the end. It’s not huge. The diameter is only 1.5″ at the widest, but the way it grows, couples with the rigidity, means a very painful experience for me. This is nothing new. I have a rather pronounced pubic bone, I think, but it sucks nonetheless. The vibrator and my bones keep fighting for space that just doesn’t exist! Although there is a slightly squishy silicone cover over the shaft, the interior is dead rigid, and this just isn’t the toy for my anatomy.

However, insertion is probavbly more uncomfortable when you factor in just how flexible the base of the shaft is. The toy doesn’t want to slide in; it keeps bending this way and that. So I applied lube –water-based only with these silicone vibes–and more and more and more.. and it just wasn’t working. I think the flexibility sounds good on paper, but doesn’t work so well in practice.

I could just repeat that last sentence for the clitoral stimulator. I find it to be really awkward. While the Vr 4 had an overly-short clit stimulator, this one seems too long. I mean, it’s over half the length of the shaft itself, so it just bunches up awkwardly against my fleshly vulva, and neither the bulbous vibrator nor the soft tickler makes contact where it should. The Vr4.5 is just not meant for my body, it would seem. I’m thinking maybe the Vr3 or 7 are my best bets at this point.

The Vr4.5 is also purple. I don’t mind the purple, but I’m a little sick of it. I think the sheen of this would look great in blue. This vibe comes in a minimal box that’s easy to recycle, and there’s a drawstring bag for storage, along with the wall charger. The bags are so big that they’re unwieldy, in my opinion, but others like them.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Cutey Wand

June 22nd, 2012

Cutey Wand

Cutey Wand
$10.43 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

I don’t own very many wands. There used to be, like, two: the Hitachi and the Hitachi knockoff. Now, there’s a lot. There’s luxury ones, rechargeable wands and mini options, like the Cutey Wand. So, the Cutey Wand. It’s tiny and got little jewels on the end. I’ll give it cute. I’ll give it wand-shaped. The naming isn’t spectacular by any means, but it’s not quite as annoying as we’ve all seen.

When I say tiny, I mean slightly longer than my finger. This is a pretty travel-friendly toy, if you only consider size. There dial base isn’t the easiest to accidentally turn on while sitting in your purse, but there’s no lock feature. Like the larger cousins, the Cutey Wand has a flexible head. It’s extremely flexible, in fact. You might not like this if you like a lot of pressure, which I do.

The head has a soft silicone casing with ridges along the side. I have to be honest, I’m not sure what the ridges are supposed to do. They’re visually interesting.. sort of, but they don’t add anything. I’m more likely to use the very top of the head or maybe the top edge. The head doesn’t have as much of a surface area as a larger wand, but I’m probably going to hold it in place rather than move it so I can feel the texture. It’s also potentially a place for you to miss when cleaning the wand, which is a bit frustrating.

However, cleaning is much easier, because the Cutey Wand is water resistant. You don’t want to try to drown it, but you can breathe easy that you’re not going to break if it you rinse of some gunk under the faucet. This is thanks to the O-ring at the end of the battery compartment, which easily screws on.

And those batteries? They’re six watch batteries. If they fall out, it’s really a hassle to get them back in there. You might consider just throwing it away once you use up the batteries, because it’s such a pain. Because the wand uses tiny watch batteries that won’t last forever, I can see this being the type of vibe that winds up in the bottom of some drawer after you use up the included batteries. It’s probably not a good selling point, but it’s true.

Those six batteries take up enough space that Blush Novelties could’ve just used a single AAA or AA. That would probably offer more power. The vibrations are advertised as powerful, but they’re quite buzzy. The few extra batteries are an improvement over those tiny bullets, but there’s not enough variation between the lower and highest settings. Of course, this one doesn’t have any pulsation or other settings, which is fine by me. I usually find them forgettable.

So, aside from size, I’m not really floored by the cutey wand. At the very least, I want something stronger, and even if I were okay with the vibrations, the sheer number of required batteries is ridiculous. I mean, you have to buy two threes backs every time your vibrator dies. That’s not cool, man, not cool.

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Picobong Moka

June 9th, 2012

PicoBong Lelo

PicoBong Lelo
$59 from PicoBong

I could probably tell you to save some time by reading this review and send you over to Lilly’s, because we came to most of the same conclusions. This was my first Picobong toy, and I’ve declined to review them in the past because they seemed too weak for me. I generally prefer toys that have more power than AAA batteries have to offer, but I was also intrigued by the shape of the Moka. It’s similar to the Ella or Gigi, other toys by Lelo that people have really liked in the past. Since I hadn’t had a chance to try the shape, I figured the Moka would be a chance to do so.

In fact, this toy is retailing from $42 to $60, so it’s much cheaper than the Gigi. Although, the Ella still costs a pretty penny less, if you don’t need vibration. The Moka consist of a curving shaft and an intensely angled head that is larger than the shaft. The head is pretty “long”, I guess you’d call it, from the side. This toy definitely hooks onto your pubic bone. So, while it’s not very wide at any point. The widest point of the shaft is 1.5″, and I’d guess that’s the head itself. The curving shaft tapers to a narrow 1″ just below the head; although, the base is slightly thicker. All in all, it’s not amazingly large.

But my G-spot hated it. The shape is just not.for.me. I can almost guarantee it’s because of my protruding pubic bone, but I think I’d personally be better off with any straight vibe. I know that other people will like the shape, but I can’t. Ever. With that said, Lilly liked it because it was larger than the Gigi, so you might agree with her.

The vibrator is coated with a velvety silicone. It’s more smooth and rigid on the shaft, but there’s a tad bit more give on the head. It’s nice to hold. I got mine in the bright blue, and it’s super fun. Very Spring-like. As I mentioned, 2AAAs insert into the base. The cap has ridges, I assume to help you grip it. It’s not the type that unscrews, through. It simply does a slight turn to lock into place. I really hate this type of battery cover. It’s finicky to get into place and they don’t always click or make a sound to let you know. I’d rather screw the cap on a couple times. Aside from that, battery insertion was fine.

To control the Moka, you press the buttons on the bottom of the shaft. Now, technically, they’re where you might insert the vibe. Folks going for G-spot stimulation might not insert it more than a few inches, but the entire 6″ or so of the shaft is not technically insertable because of this, not if you want to change settings, anyway. Three buttons exist. One to increase strength, one to decrease and another to switch modes. The buttons are raised from the shaft, so they’re easy to find. They also make an audible clicking sound.

Moka’s vibrations are buzzy and make my hand tickle, but they’re stronger than I expected. There are eight levels of standard vibration and many pulsation and escalating modes. I couldn’t count them all. There were too many that were too similar, and it seems like I needed to sometimes push the mode button two or three times to get it to change, which is frustrating. My finger needs to push from exactly the right angle; otherwise, it stays on the same setting. That’s pretty frustrating, but it’s nothing like my Mimi.

On a few of the special modes, the motor did that horrible ‘digital whine’ that used to occur with all Lelo toys. This is incredibly disappointing. It’s a bit loud, in terms of buzzing, to begin with, but that sound is like nails on a chalkboard to me. If someone asks what sound makes me want to gouge my eyes out, I’d reply with “Lelo’s whiny motors.” It doesn’t bug everyone, but it might make your dog go insane.

Before I wrap this up, I must explain the confusion that is the keychain/cellphone decoration. There’s a loop on the end of the Moka, and the toy comes with a little PicoBong logo attached to a nylon cord that is looked through it. It’s like a cellphone decoration, if you had a cell phone when you were 13 (please don’t do this as an adult. It makes you look like a joke!), but it reminded me of a keychain. It felt like I should use it to hang my PicoBong from my keys or wallet or belt loop and carry it around on my person. It obviously has to go, because it would be annoying, at least, during use. I’ll probably throw it away.

So, Moka. It’s not for me, but I can see why someone else might like it, and it’s probably a better bargain than Gigi.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager

May 3rd, 2012

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function

Tantric Chakra Pink 10 Function
$23.91 from Store.OfSexAndLove.com

There are those who say that a good bullet is something that everyone should have in their collection. I’m kind of a picky beast, but this one goes out to them. The new Tantric line of toys by California Exotics caught my eye. The pink and black is my kind of girly and there’s this element of filigree or something similar that’s really up my alley.

With this little bullet, which is larger than the ones by Tantus but more cylindrical than an egg, this design feature is on the handle. It looks like a solid layer of pink with black plastic wrapped around it. You can see through to the pink plastic through the open areas in the design, which are cut out. Now, if this was on the toy itself, I’d be a little wary to use it because of cleaning, but it’s not. Worked into the handle is a soft heart-shaped button. It’s actually kind of discreet but you don’t need instructions to read it. This only adds to its feminine appeal.

The bullet itself is removable from the battery pack with that little jack. I’m not one to switch power sources and I do like the color theme, so this isn’t useful for me. It might be for you. This, paired with the battery cap, makes for a toy that’s not waterproof in the least. The cap screws off from the end of the pack but it’s the style that slides into place and only turns a little bit — like the Layaspot and a few other toys. I prefer a cap that fully screws on.

To its credit, the 2AAAs that power this pack a surprising punch; although, the vibrations are on the buzzy side. The pulsations were pretty impressive and there were multiple strengths of the same pulsation, which I liked. I’m not usually one for patterns but it worked with this bullet. Not all the patterns were as impressive to me.

The steady vibration left a little to be desired, though. It starts on the highest setting and goes down from there. Very few vibrations do that. I don’t want that. Consumers don’t want that. Although the highest setting is okay for a bullet, power queens are going to tired of it and want more, only to go “WTF?!”

After playing with this one for a while, my vulva felt all sorts of buzzy afterward. Although I did get off, it was mostly from a lot of boring into my pubic bone and less because of the bullet itself.

The bullet has a weird circumference seam around a quarter from one end. I can’t feel it in use, but it’s odd. While I do like the velvet cote in my hand, I also can’t feel it in use. The plastic does make clean-up a breeze but, like I said, be careful with the water.

Tantric 10-Function Chakra Massager doesn’t come with any accessories, but that’s not the end of the world. Just toss it in your nightstand or bag, and you needn’t even worry about lint.

CEN Sexpert

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Tor II

February 21st, 2012

Tor II

Tor II
from

This has been superseded by the Tor 3.

So Lelo sent me Tor II. It’s one of those toys that I would be a little more interested in if I had a partner, you know? I’ve never had a lot of luck with cock rings, to begin with. The cheap ones collected lint, got slimy and tore. Vibrating ones were too weak, and they’ve been a bitch to get on. My ex, as it turns out, kind of hated them (although he didn’t tell me), so I think we quickly gave up on the idea. But I figured I’d give the Tor II a try and, because I currently have no partner, I popped it on my favorite silicone cock.

What you need to know about Tex is that it’s squishy, perhaps more than an erect cock would be, and it’s got a diameter of 1.5″–middle-of-the-road stuff. Yet, there was no way I was going to get the Tor II on this without some lube. So, lube it up I did. I used a water-based lube because while a high-quality silicone lube may not have reacted with the ring, I sure as hell am more careful when it comes to my VixSkin. I’ve been growing out my nails, though, and I feel like the Tor II is just not quite stretchy enough. My nails were digging into the dildo. How would a person like it on their penis? I’ll give you a hint: they wouldn’t.

The thing is, I don’t think that silicone can be as stretchy as some other materials, and I’m not sure how thin it can be before it breaks. Which means that you’re not going to want to use this cock ring on a cock much larger than the dildo I used. Granted, it may be easier on a flaccid penis, but bringing in the testicles is going to present its own pair of challenges — haha — and the whole experience requires a bit of time and patience and just isn’t fun. Plus, the ring is actually a flat-ish silicone band that’s about 1/2″ wide so you have to make sure it’s not inside out. One thing I found interesting is that the band of the ring isn’t a flat strip. On the top and bottom, it angles inward, toward the penis. I don’t think it’s something you would feel, but it bugs me when I clean it. I just don’t understand why it’s not flat.

So, it wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve ever done, and my imaginary VixSkin man was in pain, but I got it on. And then I turned it on, which wasn’t so easy either. By that time, my fingers were covered in lube and, as I said, I have fingernails now. The buttons are round and slightly concave areas on either side of the cock ring. Like the new third button on JeJoue’s Uma, Mimi, etc. The design is just really hard for me to use, and frustration isn’t sexy.

But if your fingers fit better, the buttons make sense. There’s only two of them. + and -. If you can’t figure out how to use them, you probably couldn’t figure out how to open the box so just walk away. Speaking of the box, mine advertises a dark green toy. Because it was part of the first batch, this was an error. Mine is a pretty medium purple. I don’t mind it but I was just surprised.

So I turned this on and right up to the highest steady vibration level because the vibrations are pretty weak and buzzy. I mean, there’s more impressive than some bullets and the other vibrating rings that I’ve used, but I generally opt for clitoral vibrations that are more noticeable. Even though I wasn’t impressed, my body responded more than I thought, and there were some minuscule orgasms even before I started my real experimentation.

As I guessed, thrusting wasn’t super fun. I don’t enjoy the buzz/no-buzz/buzz/no-buzz sensation. I prefer constant contact until I get off, damn it! However, I was super surprised that the shape of the ring worked so well for me. It’s square and wide and horizontal and I figured my fluffy vulva would just get in the way. What I found out, though, is that if I am able to hold the dildo still (or if a partner were to stay still), I can grind up against the base of the dildo and the Tor II pretty successfully. The width actually provides a broader contact space, which I do like. It also helped the vibrations to more deeply resonate in my body. The buzzy vibrations left the pulsation and escalation feeling more lackluster, though.

Despite the hassle, I can see myself using this with a dildo again. I can see myself using it often. It was different and grinding against it was pretty damned pleasurable. The smaller size wasn’t fighting for space with the base of the dildo, either. The problem is, this is designed for couples, but I feel like it’s not actually going to do much good while you’re thrusting. Unless you enjoy general vibrations in the sort-of genital area, you’ll probably be disappointed. It works for me as a masturbatory aid, but I wouldn’t spend $120 on something that isn’t a bit more versatile.

However, it is rechargeable and waterproof and comes with a storage pouch and Lelo’s warranty. If you’re a collector of Lelo’s products or already know that you like cock rings and are sensitive to light vibrations, then this may be a good option for you.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator

February 17th, 2012

Trojan Midnight Collection Vibrator
from

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

The Trojan Midnight Collection vibrator gets a pass from me. In fact, almost a glowing review.

Unlike some G-spot vibrators, this one offers a little girth in addition to the effective G-spot curve. The ridges in the silicone and rigid inner mechanism allow you to easily stimulate your g-spot while feeling fulled. Because the curve of this vibrator is less extreme than the Pure Wand, for example, it doesn’t curl back on you to stab you in the pubic mound.

The multi-position feature is a joint in the center that allows you to turn the shaft in several places so it becomes a gentle “S” shape again. This might be easier to use depending on your position of specific preferences and it also makes this toy better for partner play than the Pure Wand.

The buttons are easy to use and find, which is something that even the big names struggle with (I’m talking about you JeJoue!). One button turns on and up vibrations while the other turns down or off the vibrations. The soft, silicone buttons are located on the end of the toy — that curves toward you when using it as a “C” shape — and are raised. They’re easy to press whether your hands are covered in lube or you have nails. Sweet!

The vibrations are powered by 2AA batteries, so they fall on the moderately rumbly side of things. I like AAs. They’re my power source of choice if I’m using battery-powered toys. The first setting is lackluster, so I turned it up a few times and found the sweet spot that made me squirt and squirt and squirt. It took me by surprise.

I am pretty impressed with the look of this vibrator. The hard plastic has this sheen to it that seems very luxurious. The layer of silicone over the insertable portion is a little squishy, unlike many silicone-coated vibrators. Squishy enough that my cats have already chewed on it, ha! The ridges are very prominent and not suitable for someone who doesn’t enjoy intense stimulation.

Although it is clear in the images, I cannot stress how large this toy is. Its materials aren’t very heavy; however, smaller hands may have a harder time grasping the entire handle. I would have expected Trojan to market a toy for sex toy newbies, and while they may enjoy this, the person who will love this vibrator best is really the one who wants full, intense stimulation with moderate vibrations.

If the Trojan Midnight Collection Multi-position Vibrator were the only G-spot vibrator in my collection, I’d be happy. I would recommend it to others but I do think the price is a bit steep. Babeland doesn’t offer a lot of vibratos in this same price range so this one is filling a gap. You couldn’t wrong saving $20 and buying the Fun Factory Boss instead.

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Leaf Spirit

January 16th, 2012

Leaf Spirit

Leaf Spirit
from

BMS no longer makes the original Leaf Spirit, but you can buy the newer Leaf Spirit Plus.

The Spirit was the vibrator that I wanted the most out of the Leaf line. Its ergonomic design is called to me because I’m a clit vibe type of girl. I figured I’d have a pretty good idea of the piece, considering that I’d already used one Leaf vibe, but, as it turns out, that wasn’t quite the case.

My Spirit wasn’t charged when I opened the box so I set it up to charge for a couple hours. Immediately, I made note of how much smaller the Spirit is than I expected. When I plugged the charger into the port, which sits vertically through the widest part of the vibrator, it felt as though the plug was going to stab out the other end of the toy. In fact, it must have been designed to just fit the plug.

At just 2.8″ in width, and with its contours, the Spirit is a palm-type vibrator if I’ve ever seen one. Although I don’t cup my hand around my vulva to masturbate so the idea of a palm vibrator is kind of weird to begin with. However, it’s perfect for use during sex, even though I haven’t been able to use it that way. The Lead website states it is 1.8″ tall and that would be true if it were rectangular. Really, at its widest in the middle, it’s more like 1″, which is similar to the length of the plug.

As it curves into a gentle “C” shapes, the ends taper as well. The end that would make contact with your clit also narrows to a point while the other rounds out, to cup your vulva. When you hold the vibrator so that it curves against your mons pubis, the single button is on top (and well as the port). Of course, this makes sense, but I found the button to sit more flush with the Spirit than the Fresh, so I have a more difficult time finding it. I have to keep my finger on it or stop using it to visually locate the button. Although the button lights up, I tend to hold it in a position where I cannot see it.

Like all toys that use this type of control, it works. Press and hold to raise the vibrations, and the button blinks more rapidly as you raise the vibrations. A single push turns it off. Because there are no settings, there’s no confusion. There’s also not a lot to drool over. For whatever reason, the PowerBullet technology feels much weaker and buzzier in the Spirit. If vibrations alone are what I was looking for, I would have been disappointed. I quickly became immune to them.

Spirit has the hollow sounding vibrations and the slight electronic whine that I noticed of the Fresh. It’s a little annoying but others may not notice. Considering the size, it’s a little loud. I have quieter bullets, for example.

The shape also left a little to be desired. I think it would be great pressed between bodies during partner play, but to get any sort of pressure, I need to apply force with my fingers, and the small surface space meant I accidentally turned this thing off, more often than not. I’m not as big a fan of pinpoint stimulation as some are, either. I do like the layer of squishy silicone that coats the outside of this sex toy. There’s a noticeable squish on the pointed end, which I think led to me enjoying this vibrator a little more than I would have. I did try to use the rounded end, but with little success. It’s too much of an edge for me. The small size will actually fit into some panties. I gave it a whirl and was able to walk around with it vibrating away.

The squishy silicone, sadly, picks up lint and fur like crazy. It’s easy enough to rinse off with soap and water but makes toy wipes a little less useful. Like the entire Leaf line, the Spirit is meant to be waterproof and I’ve had no trouble with that during cleaning. It’s easier to see on the Spirit how the silicone stretches around the charging port, offering protection from liquids.

I do have to say that one full charge only lasted me one masturbation session. Granted, it was probably around 30 minutes, mostly on the highest speed, and involved a couple of orgasms, but the manual guarantees at least 40 minutes (1 hour and 15 on the lower setting). It just died on me randomly and I wasn’t quite done.

Of course, this one comes in a cardboard box with a manual, canvas bag and charger. The bag is the same size for all the toys and Spirit feels a little swamped in its home. I’m slightly dubious that it’s as green as its color, but that’s not really a selling point for me.

I probably like Fresh a little better, surprisingly. However, I would recommend this as a toy for couples during sex or either for a palm-based massage. If you lube it up — water-based, please! — it could make for a good back or muscle massager if light stimulation is for you.

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Categories: Reviews, Vibrators

Image © MisterUnlucky; used with permission.