Mini Marvels Marvelous Massager

September 16th, 2018

I’ll be honest. I thought all the vibrators in the Mini Marvels line looked dinky, a word I used to describe a toy in a review from a decade ago – and one a little more recently! I was looking for any reason to try a toy in this line, however, because of the comic book-inspired packaging. After I read Dizzy Girl’s favorable review of the Teaser, I decided to try one.

I thought perhaps that the Marvelous Massager was best suited for my masturbatory preferences, and SheVibe shipped it my way.

Cal Exotics attempted to create a line of toys that fit into your hand almost intuitively, and this is one of the things that initially attracted me to the line when I came across it in Dizzy’s review. The finger location of the Teaser, however, seems a little more natural; although, even Dizzy Girl mentioned having to hold the toy in a way other than was intended by the design because she’s human. As am I

Despite other reviewers finding the Marvelous Massager, in particular, to be comfortable to hold, I could not disagree more. In fact, I was surprised to hear anyone describe this thing as easy to hold. As it turns out, I was holding it wrong. See, I require a lot of clitoral pressure when I masturbate, and I want to hold the Marvelous Massager with the thinner end toward my mons, so I get more pressure from the thicker end. Of course, the valleys for my fingers don’t work at all in that position.

Even when I turn the toy around, it still doesn’t seem to be designed well. Keeping your fingers between the “fins” prevents you from bending them at all. I probably have arthritis in my hands, and simply placing my fingers inside the slots for less than a minute leaves my knuckles feeling a bit stranger for a while. Not necessarily painful, but just a reminder of how damn awkward the position was. Were the handle portion narrow like the Teaser, it might fit more comfortably.

But there’s another issue. The Mini Marvels seem like they might simply be better for someone whose hands do not fit into gloves meant for children. In Mizz Jezebella’s photos, her fingers extend far longer than mine, and her knuckles sit differently within the finger valleys.

Finally, you can’t push the buttons with the same hand that’s using the vibrator

I think a solution to my issues, aside from having hands that function at 100%, would simply to make the fins that line that finger valleys much more flexible. A couple of bloggers call them flexible in their reviews but.. eh.. not really. You’d certainly think the fins would be more flexible than they are. That would give my fingers more room to “breathe” and, I suspect, make holding the Marvelous Massager much more comfortable (especially if they extended further from the center of the toy). Plus, this would allow a greater range of people to use this toy.

CalExotics obviously designed the Marvelous Massager — and perhaps all of the toys in the Mini Marvels line — with (cis) women in mind. They’re ideal for lithe fingers and, in fact, the illustrations included with the Marvelous Massager do not depict human fingers. Perhaps they’re some sort of alien appendages. I don’t know if CalExotics has invented finger shaming, but it’s ridiculous.

As is, my fingers seem pretty standard width. They’re not remarkably slender or wide. But anyone with meatier fingers, and definitely cis men would find the Marvelous Massager nigh on impossible to use as intended.

You can always use the toy more in the palm of your hand than with your fingers in the grooves. The shape of the Marvelous Massager means that I still can’t acquire the pressure that I prefer. I like the side that makes contact to protrude more. Lelo Siri 2Lelo’s Siri does this a bit. So does the Fun Factory Laya Spot. It allows me to grind the toy into my vulva. I can’t do this with this toy, however.

That leaves us at vibrations. I’ve seen some toys that are surprisingly powerful despite their size and toys that have vibrations as weak as they are small. The Marvelous Massager falls somewhere in between. It’s perhaps stronger than you might think given the design, but it’s a far cry from marvelous. Perhaps the broad bottom of this toy is less than ideal for distributing vibrations. I don’t necessarily want something pinpoint, but it’s just a bit too diffuse for me. I tried using the vibrator on its side, but that’s not an ideal solution, either.

There are seven settings aside from constant vibration. By now, my readers probably know that I’m not down with these settings. They seem lackluster, per usual.

One thing I do like is that the two buttons (power and cycling through settings) are raised. These didn’t show up well in my photos, but they’re easy to find with your fingers. Of course, the position doesn’t make perfect sense. I wonder if CalExotics could have managed to put them more on the sides like some computer mouses have buttons. Or even make it squeezable from the sides. Combining this with the Minna Limon would make an interesting little toy.

Aside from issues I’ve covered, you might care to know that the Marvelous Massager is waterproof and recharges via USB. For those who desire more power, you’re only going to get 30 minutes out of this vibrator (2 hours on low setting, however). This seems laughable compared to some vibrators and especially when you consider that it needs 2.5 hours to charge. I drained the toy on my first use. It looks like the entire line uses the same motor, so I wouldn’t use this as your only toy if you enjoy marathon sessions.

I suppose I cannot help but wonder if the shape of the Marvelous Massager is my biggest issue. Would I have preferred  something  else or am I out of luck given my preferences?

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Embrace G Wand

August 11th, 2016

This is an archived review of a discontinued product.

Do you know what California Exotics is good at? It’s not really making amazing sex toys; although, you certainly could argue that the company is pretty good at churning them out. Henry Ford would be proud.

No, I think California Exotics is good at some other things, including:

  • Being late to the gate (rechargeable toys and silicone)
  • Designing toys that look premium and charging slightly less for them than those who did it first
  • ..but ultimately disappointing me

The Embrace line pretty much embodies all of these frustrations, and I should know better by now. This isn’t even the first toy I’ve tried from the line!

So you probably wanna know why I tried another one? I guess I’m just a glutton for punishment.

Okay, there’s at least one improvement over the G Wand from the Beloved Wand: it’s rechargeable and doesn’t just use AAA batteries. This should be a win, but if you thought that means it’s any stronger, well, you’re wrong. Probably. I no longer have the Beloved wand in my collection, but I can absolutely confirm that the power output of the G Wand isn’t what I expected because, you guys, there are three fuckin’ motors in here.

There’s one in the bulbous portion of the shaft, one in the neck and one between the clitoral nub and handle. The latter two are definitely smaller and weaker, but I can distinctly feel them in the setting that simply goes through each motor separately. But the overall impression on the steady vibration modes is just bland.

Seriously, though. It’s been a while since I’ve used a toy that just felt so “meh.” It’s odd because it feels stronger and deeper in my hand. The higher setting is noticeably buzzier, but it feels like it should do a decent job once inserted. It doesn’t, though. It may be the way the silicone absorbs the vibrations.

The G wand having a much more drastic curve than the Beloved wand. It reminds me of my Rondo, which I still have somewhere. In fact, I think the curve combined with the handle made it look like it would please me, and that was one of the main draws.

But I haven’t had a ton of success with G-spot wands that share this general shape. I’ve liked some, including the aforementioned Rondo and a toy by Ophoria. You may recall that I didn’t like the Pure Wand or the Comet, however, and many women have found those to be excellent G-spotters. To be fair, the Embrace G Wand is going to be a better tool for G-spot stim if you like those curves; although, there’s more flexibility than the Comet. So you may not be able to get a lot of intense play out of it.

To be fair, the Embrace G Wand is going to be a better tool for G-spot stim if you like those curves; although, there’s more flexibility than the Comet. So you may not be able to get a lot of intense play out of it.

As for the shaft, my favorite part was the rounded head, which I found to work decently for clitoral stimulation. However, the clitoral nub on the base of the shaft didn’t do it for me. In order to get it into the right position, the inner portion of the toy would cause pain. And the three ridges on the clitoral stimulator didn’t do it for me, anyway.

Is there anything I did like? I like the layout of buttons, which were easy to find. A single button switches through the seven settings (and powers the toy on/off), and each has six speeds. The other two turn the intensity up or down. I find it strange that the toy would start on the middle setting, however. It makes me think you’ll have a lot more power than you actually do. Who starts on medium and goes back down, anyway? But I was trying to be kind..

The loop in the handle was just big enough for a single finger, which I foud more useful than a toy whose loop is just shy of fitting two fingers. It feels pretty natural to slip my index finger through the hole and press buttons with my thumb.

It’s waterproof and recharges via USB. It’s not all that loud, so I might recommend it to someone who was looking for a vibrator of this shape but wanted more flexibility than the Comet and similar toys offer.

As for me? I really can’t quite put my finger on why the Embrace G Wand seems so lackluster. It has a less severe curve than toys that I really dislike, and the flexibility means I should at least be able to work with it. Perhaps I need to give it another go ’round before I toss it in the swap drawer. I’m just not looking forward to it.

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Scandal Corset with Cuffs

October 27th, 2014

I’ve kept my eye out for the pieces in the Scandal line because I love love love the black and red design — even if it matches nothing in my bondage drawer! The control cuffs worked well, and the “corset” is pretty sexy. Unfortunately, the corset is also once-size-fits-most. What do we know about this kids? That one size never fits all and rarely fits most and usually pisses reviews like me the fuck off.

But let’s back up. This corset is really a small waist cincher. There’s no boning, either plastic or metal; although, the fabric is definitely reinforced. There’s a series of hook and eye enclosures on the back that secure it. To either side of the fasteners, which you won’t see in any of the photos, is a thick strip of elastic, which makes this adjustable — and also less attractive from the front. CEN has added another ribbon – 31 inches of it on either side — for you to tie over the elastic and hooks to make it prettier. In the front, it’s laced with ribbon like corset, so you can extend it a bit if you loosen it or lace with with longer ribbon instead. As this stretches, skin will peak out from the front.

The default setting was one that I could just squeeze into. As a general size XL in most tops and lingerie, I could just make this fit, but it wasn’t comfortable, and I worried that I would damage it if I wore it for long or during strenuous play. I would say this is probably most intended for someone in the size medium to large range. Lying flat, it measures 17 inches in half. It will stretch slightly more than 34 inches thanks to the elastic, however.

By default, the corset comes with an extender with 5 hooks, like you might buy for a bra but obviously 4 inches wide, the same width as the hooks and elastic part of the bra. This is a fantastic idea on the part of California Exotics. If you remove it, you can tighten the corset by several inches, and you can gain 2.5 inches if you add it. Technically, you could buy another 5-hook bra extender in black to add more inches, but that’s not something that I care to do. You could do that and have amply ribbon to tie over it, however.

I did find the height to work well. You can wear it over a top — black or red makes the most sense — of course, or with a bra. There’s also the option to wear the corset by itself if you want to bare all.

Of course, this matches everything in the Scandal line, but you don’t need separate wrist cuffs because a pair is included. There is a D-ring on either side of the corset to which the cuffs attach, which keeps arms relatively prone as your sides. The cuffs are detachable, so you can instead attach them to one another or even

Aside from the red and black fabric, the cuffs are secured with long Velcro straps. There’s potential that someone who is strong enough could break out of them, but whether that would happen before a seam in the corset itself would give out is up for debate.

scandal coset with cuffs

scandal coset with cuffs

The cuffs are intended for wrists and just over 2 inches thick but would work for some ankles. They measure about 10.5 inches around with no overlapping. They’re lined with a super fuzzy material that I absolutely love, but the squishiness makes it more difficult to overlap the cuffs to make them smaller in diameter. There are about 5 inches of Velcro that you can adjust to make it wider, but it’s not going to hold as well.

The hardware on this is surprisingly impressive for this line, especially when you consider that there are decorative cuffs connected by a strand of faux pearls. Remember when I reviewed one of those? Nope. There’s nylon wrapped around an O-ring to securely attached it. Each cuff has its own double ended bolt snap — like this — painted black to match. It’s attractive and effective to both connect the cuffs to the corset or to one another.

While the Scandal corset with cuffs certainly isn’t one size fits most, it’s an attractive piece that’s going to work well for some people who care a little more about form than function, which is kind of the purpose of the entire Scandal line. But with a price around $50, you’re better off getting something a little more functional.

CEN Sexpert

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Entice Emilia

September 23rd, 2014

CEN’s Entice line is attractively designed. Sleek boxes and toys that come in purple or pink silicone with clean lines attracted my eye. I opted to try the Emilia. It’s a dual stimulator that’s almost-but-not-quite a rabbit. While I may have loved rabbits once upon a time, they’re not a favorite of mine anymore.

I actually first tried the Emilia externally. This was where I found myself curious about the flexible neck of the shaft. It’s not exactly floppy, but it’s not good for pressure that I like externally. This also isn’t going to make it a good thrusting toy internally, and while it’s not as difficult to use as the Dorcel vibe, I would prefer a more rigid shaft.

The shaft is also pretty small, so this might be a good toy if you’re not into gigantic insertables. I do tend to like something larger, however. The specs measure it as 1.25 inches in diameter. This is actually the max with at the toy closer to the edge of the shaft. It’s gradually thinner toward the neck, where it’s flexible.  I don’t typically need a pronounced head to get G-spot stimulation and the curve of the shaft was almost perfect.  This might not be the vibe for you if you do like a ridged head that you can’t possibly ignore.

Similarly, the tiny clit protrusion is just a fraction of the length of your typical rabbit. Unless your clit basically dances right at the edge of your vaginal opening, it’s not going to provide direction stimulation. This might be okay if you like general stimulation. The curve of the toy did seem to hug me almost perfectly.

It seems like CEN had some trouble with the two motors. Perhaps My Emilia is defective, but there’s a distinct rattle as though the housing isn’t tight enough around the inner workings.  While I’m use to the first settings being steady vibration, this isn’t the case with Emilia. The first setting is both motors, the second is just the clit stim motor and the third is just the shaft vibration.

This is followed by a fast pulse in both motors, a surprisingly deep escalation pattern and a back-and-forth escalation between the two motors. The last setting is both motors going steady. It seems to be stronger than the initial mode in the cycle. Fortunately, it returns to this first mode when you turn it off. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to describe the settings at all. They’re in some crazy order that makes no sense. The two modes where both motors are vibrating continuously should be right next to one another. And there’s no helpful material. The included instructions are generic for any sex toy and not the Entice line or the Emilia specifically.

All of this might you think that I dislike the toy. But to be honest, it was effective enough when used as anticipated to get my to squirt. I actually quite like the weird escalation setting, and some of the other settings seem to produce vibrations that are deeper than the steady vibes. There’s definitely some quality control issues, but this isn’t a terrible toy by a long shot. It even survived a silicone lube incident. My bad.

The shaft vibrations are fairly deep, but there’s a rattling of the housing that makes them seem buzzier than they are. The clitoral vibrations a deep, but any setting that uses both motors makes this less noticeable.

This is especially true when you consider the price. It’s less than $60 fro Sextoy.com. In fact, you can save 15% with code EMILIA15 when you buy it now.

Caveat: this toy is toy is touted as USB rechargeable. It comes with the cable and no AC adapter. You can find adapters for at cheap as a dollar at places like Walgreens, though. The real nit I have to pick is the charging port access through the silicone at the base of the toy. Other companies have tried that shrinking-hole style. It’s especially frustrating with  Emilia because the hole seems slightly misaligned with the port beneath it. I have to find the right angle to get it to go in. With frequent use, I’ll be a pro, but I’m not sure how frequently I’ll use this.

CEN Sexpert

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Embrace Beloved Wand

May 28th, 2014

I’ve really liked the design of Cal Exotics’ new Embrace line. It’s made of silicone and the designs tend to be sleek and more luxurious than you’re used to when it comes to CEN items. The company now even uses more luxurious packaging, which I’ll have a post about soon.

Many of the toys in the line are also rechargeable, as is the one that I wanted most. I was sent a G-spotter that relies on AAA batteries.

I know. Sigh.

I hate toys that rely on AAA batteries. The vibrations are, without fail, weak and buzzy. The Beloved Wand is no different. Generally, my G-spot still responds, but that wasn’t the case with the vibe, which just had overly-weak vibrations that bugged the hell out of my hand.

The G-wand has 7 different functions and two buttons to use them. The buttons are on a flat panel on the base, which gives the Beloved Wand an interesting design in my opinion. It’s easy to turn on and off. Twist the base off to insert batteries. The Beloved wand uses sort of a gimmicky control setup. Each of the seven functions has seven different intensities. If you turn the vibrator on with the power button, it turns on to the lowest steady setting. The following vibration patterns/modes follow:

  • Medium steady vibes
  • High steady vibes
  • Slow pulse
  • short, short long pulse
  • Escalation
  • Five fast pulses, one long pulse

Pressing the power button once turns the toy back off, but pressing and holding it eventually turns down the vibrations. I’m not a fan of toys that do this. Like, what’s the problem? Start low. Go higher. It’s the natural order of things, folks!

The controls are totally awkward. It’s not always easy to tell when you’re switching between intensities. There’s no tactile feedback. Audible feedback isn’t consistent. I have no idea how to tell the difference between one setting and the next let alone determining when I can stop pressing. If you accidentally just press the power button, the Beloved Wand turns off.  It’s just dumb.

But here’s a positive. CEN is now creating toys of more colors than just pink or purple. This G-wand is also available in a matte grey, which is pretty awesome.

Some people will also like that the Beloved wand has a thicker shaft than many G-spotters. I don’t need girth as I use pressure and stroking to stimulate my G-spot. I don’t need to feel full, just stimulated. The Beloved Wand is thicker than Mona, for example. At 1.5″ at the end of the shaft, this is comparable to some of the larger internal vibes — like the Form 6 G3 — and water-based lube is definitely your friend. However, there is also a more drastic G-spot curve, and you can insert about 5.5 inches rather than both ends. At least, the edges on the base wouldn’t feel very good in my opinion.

It also features a rigid mechanism in the g-spot curve. Despite the plush silicone layer over this, it felt more rigid to me even though it’s silky smooth in my hand. I don’t know if I used this when my cervix/vagina was especially sensitive, but something about the design felt sharp. I actually pulled out the vibrator to see if there were any seams or angles, but there were none. T

he product description says this toy moves with your body but something about it just felt foreign. Like an intrusion. There is movement because the neck of the toy is flexible. You might not like this if you like frantic thrusting, and I know some people do. I don’t, but I think a hard toy all the way through is a little easier to manipulate.

Despite the flaws, this could be a decent vibrator if your anatomy likes it. It’s less than $60; although, you wouldn’t have to spend much more to get a rechargeable vibrators so keep that in mind.

CEN Sexpert

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Love Rider Butterfly Lovers

April 7th, 2014

My body has changed since I first started reviewing. At one time, rabbit vibrators were my favorite type of vibes despite the fact that so many people seem to have so many problems with them. 6 years ago, my g-spot hadn’t yet awakened. I couldn’t squirt and I wasn’t familiar with that acute pain that occurs when my g-spot needs to squirt but can’t because something is blocking the vaginal canal. If this sounds weird, well, it is.

So I would use rabbits to get intense external stimulation with a little internal stimulation. I enjoyed the cupping of my pubic bone, which we all know is alien shaped or something. In fact, very few rabbits did much for me internally at all. The Passion Wave was one of them. Guys, that was 6 freaking years ago! And now my g-spot isn’t like that. Rabbits tend to get in the way, now. When I need to squirt, I need to get all toys and cocks the fuck out of my vagina. And the increased sensitivity of my g-spot also means that rabbits, most of which have rigid mechanisms in the shaft, kind of hurt.

So I don’t use rabbits much. In fact, when I use G-spot/internal and clitoral/external toys, I tend to use them different. Vibration gets me off clitorally with a lot of pressure. A little vibration and/or a few strokes internally literally milks my g-spot to ejaculation. Most masturbation sessions are the former because I want to get off. If I am aiming to squirt, which isn’t accompanied with an orgasm, it’s usually because I am reviewing a g-spot toy or simply want to feel some sort of accomplishment.

Where is all this leading? To the fact that this is a review for a rabbit vibrator, and it’s so weird for me now. But it wasn’t when I owned over a dozen of them. In many ways, it seems like sex toy makers have also moved away from rabbits, and perhaps for good reason. There are so many complaints.

  • rabbits are big
  • they tend to be expensive
  • they’re not one size fits all

The size issue keeps many women from enjoying rabbits because it’s hard to find one that will fit you. For me, personally, this wasn’t an issue when I was just forcing the rabbits to work, I guess, but I can no longer do it. The nice part about the Love Rider Butterfly Lovers is that it isn’t so huge so this could be a decent toy if most rabbits are too big for you to use comfortably. The shaft only has about 5 inches to insert, and the diameter is about 1.5 inches. The product listing says 1.75 inches, but this is actually the size of the flared base. See, a modern aspect of this rabbit is that it’s harness compatible. You’re going to want an O-ring smaller than that, though. A 1.5 inch ring, I would think. I don’t have a harness to check. The base also works as a suction cup, but I have no use for this.

However, the silly butterfly design for the clitoral stimulator isn’t new at all. There’s a very similar version with a rabbit clitoral arm. I think that I’d like that better. It also just doesn’t hit the right spot or do much at all. The shaft has no silly faces on it, just some surreal sort of swirls and a gently curved head that should be able to provide some G-spot stimulation. The silicone is firm enough to provide pressure but not rock hard because there’s no internal mechanism. It’s also the type of silicone that works best with lube. I did find the shaft to be rather comfortable during insertion. The length of the shaft and clit stimulator aren’t simpatico for me, however.

The motor for the toy is in the base of the shaft/clitoral arm, so it does have the strongest of the vibrations. They traveled up the shaft enough to make me squirt, but I feel like some people would be disappointed. 2 AA batteries provides vibrations with more depth, and the vibes are decent enough. You control this vibe  from a detachable battery pack. This is convenient if you want to use this as a harnessed dildo without vibration, but it doesn’t do much for me when it comes to washing because the wire  stays on the toy and just seems to get in the way.

The control pack is different because there’s a master power button on top and a trigger-style button on the bottom to cycle through the settings. Now, I don’t really like the trigger button for this purpose, but I love the idea of a trigger button. I want to shoot all my sex toys, er, something like that.

The other settings are:

  • high steady vibes
  • medium steady vibes
  • low steady vibes
  • fast fast fast slow pulse
  • pitter-patter pulse
  • medium pulse
  • fast pulse
  • slower/weaker pulse
  • longer/stronger pulse
  • tiny pulse

I hatehatehate when vibes start at the highest setting because you expect to be able to increase the vibrations, but then you can’t. However, the pulsation is all rather effective and there’s no escalation, which really does nothing for me. The vibe returns to the last setting you had it on when you turned it off.

This rabbit vibrator is also fairly loud, certainly louder than any of my Lelo toys. I’m used to toys that are pretty quiet, but maybe you won’t notice.

So, overall, this toy doesn’t make me love rabbits again. Internally, it fits better but it doesn’t offer true dual stimulation for me.  Like I said, I might like the rabbit better.  Or maybe I just want to focus on one thing and do it right.

CEN Sexpert

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Scandal Control Cuffs

December 15th, 2013

I have got to hand it to California Exotics — wow! Who ever would have thought I’d use that sentence? When it comes to the entire Scandal line, the design is quite attractive. If I hadn’t already started a purple bondage theme, I’d seriously consider getting everything in this line. It’s got that sort of boudoir feel to it.

These cuffs have a red and black damask style exterior. It’s classy. It’s sexy. I like it.

The interior is a plush velvet type material. It’s classy. It’s sexy. It’s comfortable, too. I like it.

I suppose you could wipe clean any spots with a damp cloth. Blood might be an issue so be careful when playing.

The cuffs themselves are connect by a length of nylon. Think backpacks. You can adjust the length, and the box described it as a “handle.” Sure, you can grasp it, but to call it a handle seems a little like a stretch.

The cuffs themselves secure with velcro. This could potentially be a problem if the bound person pulls her wrists or ankles apart with enough force. People with long hands can also often grasp velcro straps with their fingers to undo their binds. This was my main complaint with the cuffs that come with the Under the Bed system.

The major downfall with these cuffs is that they only attach to the other cuff with the plastic buckle. It’s good for leverage during sex, but it’s not versatile enough that you’ll use them with other restraints. The Scandal line does intclude it’s own bed restraints, hog tie set and universal cuffs, but it would be nice if more of the items were more versatile.

Although the package suggests these as ankle cuffs, they’ll work just as well on wrists. The cuffs are 2.5″ wide and 11 inches long. You can adjust the circumference so that it’s a few inches narrower or wider. These probably won’t work well if you have especially wide ankles.

The handle adjusts to just under 3 inches, and stretches to 9 inches long. It’s long enough to grasp with one or both hands.

Overall, I like these cuffs. I’d prefer them to be more versatile, like I mentioned.

CEN Sexpert

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